“Are you alright?” said Kate looking rather worried.
I was still sweating, despite the cold atmosphere and the fact that it had been an hour since I’d retired from the gym. And I felt a little queasy. I told Trevor, my trainer, that I felt like puking after my stint on the treadmill, and he said it was normal for someone who was out of shape. In fact, he said that it was a good sign. Do you think he has something against me? He’s trying to kill me.
“All of a sudden, I don’t feel so good.”
“You don’t look it either,” said Kate, rushing over to my side.
I was sitting on a stool where people sit when they fit their shoes. I’m dying. You know how you can do almost anything when you’re feeling sick? Maybe it’s because your mental state is a little off. Anyway, at that moment, I found it appropriate for me to get on my knees. I dropped from the stool, onto my knees thinking that it would make me feel better. Maybe I was overreacting, I don’t know. It was rather strange...I’m sure I heard Kate call it out?
“Why are you on your knees, Celeste?” she asked, helping me up back to the stool.
I was still sweating, but my symptoms were alleviating. I was starting to feel a little light. “Just give me a minute to compose myself,” I murmured. Too much exercise for day one? I don’t know. I told Trevor to take it easy on me. Now he’s almost killed me. How is feeling nauseas normal again?
“Here, have some water.” Kate was looking flustered.
Oh what would I do without my one and only best friend in the whole, wide world? I would be nothing. I would be useless. She’s the best friend anyone could ever dream of. Look at her, nursing me back to health. Now I know why I like her so much, she’s very kind hearted and considerate. She planted the glass of water on my mouth and forced me to drink from it. Now she actually thinks she’s a nurse. I’ll just obey orders.
“Have you had anything to eat, Celeste?”
I pulled out enough strength to talk behind the cup that was pressed against my mouth. “No. I was going to eat during our tea break.”
“What? And what are you having for tea?”
“A carrot!” I wasn’t joking.
“Celeste, you must be joking. You can’t have a carrot for breakfast.”
“Yes, I can. I was going to throw an apple in there as well, but I can’t afford that many calories.” I wasn’t joking, really. Kate looked at me like I was from another planet. “What!? I already weigh a ton, I’m sure my fat doesn’t mind me living on it for some time.”
“Celeste, that’s the biggest pot of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I’m rushing over to the supermarket to get you some breakfast. You will eat something, you idiot.” She left.
It was the exercise, not my lack of food intake. Why doesn’t she understand that I’m a long way away from fainting from hunger? I have a lifetime supply of fat, which I’m just hoping I put it to use before I die. I was feeling better already, feeling as sharp as a healthy person. A few minutes after Kate had left to buy me some sensible food to eat, three girls entered the boutique, all spiffy and full of chatter. Oh, and they were the most adorable little things. I could fit them in my bag. Sometimes I think life is easier for petite girls, because when you are closer to the ground and you fall, it’s far less complicated then when you’re way up there near the sky. It’s just a theory of mine. Here they are, coming into the boutique for a shopping extravaganza...together...in a group, the tiny lot of them. They all had maxi sunglasses on and matching jeans (probably the same size) and different, funky, floral tops. I just want to dress them. They remind me of the dolls I never had when I was growing up (that’s a story for another time).
Oh gosh, they keep on giggling. Why are they so happy, have they been to the gym too? Maybe it’s just the feel of shopping. I get all giggly too when I’m out with a few girlfriends, tearing up the malls. They are trying on some shoes. I’ll just hang here behind the counter and wait for them to buy something...oh, no, those look terrible on her. I mustn’t, but I should. It’s my duty as a worker of this boutique. I’m going in!
“Hi,” I said, walking over to the posse. They all giggled hi, back at me...still with the bouncy giggles, I don’t get it. Anyway, I continued trying to look at all of them at once. “I hope you don’t find me intruding, but I just couldn’t help myself. You see those shoes? They don’t really go well with someone your size.” I was looking at the one wearing the shoes now. My comment wiped the giggle from her senses. She then turned on an interested look, keen to hear my opinion.
“Oh, but I thought-” she murmured.
I cut her short. “No, no, no my dear. You see, shoes with a tiny heel like those ones, tend to make someone of your frame look even shorter. Aren’t you looking to embrace your petite, but still mask long and lean legs?”
She started nodding like a loon, so did her friends, staring at me like I had the answers to world peace.
“Good. I suggest these platform pumps,” I said, going over to the shoe display and grabbing a pair. “Or these wedges. If you’re looking for something flat, then baby doll pumps or strappy sandals all the way.” I handed them over to her to try on. Her friends got in on the action too, all fascinated by the fact that they were experimenting with my suggestions. Oh let me not even mention the delight in my heart, helping out lost souls.
“Oooh, I like, I like!” said one of them.
I was beside myself with giggles, forgetting that earlier I was a little annoyed by them. “And never wear gladiator shoes! I’m totally against them for shorter girls. They just cut off from your length. But that’s just my little secret.”
“You know, you’re right. I’m Naledi, by the way,” said the original victim, staring at her feet on the large mirror on the wall. “These are my best friends Botlhe and Goitse.”
“Nice to meet you girls, I’m Celeste.”
“Well Celeste, I believe we could use your insight more,” said Naledi. She must have been the ring leader of the three I guess, doing all the talking. “So I’m wearing my platform pumps, what outfit should I have on?”
Oh no she didn’t! She’s giving me the green card, and I’m going to let it all come out now. I smiled, more of a grin. “Well, what you have on now is fine, but it doesn’t really define those shoes. The secret to matching your shoes with the perfect outfit is to understand the shoes and the language they speak.” Yes, I went there, this is where watching a lot of style shows is going to pay off. “For example, the pumps you have on now have a leopard print. I would interpret them as being funky, sexy and fierce! They have a lot of characteristics, as compared to if they were black or just plain coloured. So your outfit shouldn’t be as loud as they are at the moment. I’d suggest a mono coloured short dress, maybe black if you like. Not something too bright though, like neon colours, for example, I think would look terrible. If you want to keep it casual, go for a pair of jeans, like you have on now and again, something mono coloured for a top and not floral like you have on now.” By now the girls were just nodding and smiling and nodding. I had them wrapped around my finger, gobbling up my every word. I rushed off to the women’s section and grabbed some outfits. “Here, go and try these on with those shoes and see how they work for you.” Naledi did not hesitate, and immediately rushed to the fitting room. Goitse and Botlhe rushed to my side to hear what I had to say about their shoes. I had become a fashion hero. Good times!
Kate came in from the supermarket and found me in the middle of my consultations. She was a little shocked at the fact that I was talking to the customers. I don’t know why because I always do it, you know, when a customer needs me to fetch a bigger size from storage or asks for the price of an item. I’m always there to assist. Naledi came out from the fitting room wearing a purple, fitting halter dress that I’d picked out for her. Its length went to right below the knees. She immediately rushed over to the mirror, like there was no mirror in the fitting room, to gaze at herself more. I guess it was just so unbelievable.
“O
h Celeste, I love this! I look incredible! Thank you, thank you so much,” she said, still checking herself out in the mirror.
The other girls came out too in the outfits I had picked out for them. Botlhe, in the wedges was wearing a pair of skinny black tailored pants, a floral top and black biker jacket (my personal touch); Goitse, in the black peep toe heels, had on blue skinny jeans and a gold sequinned tank top. They all saw each other and began shrieking in amazement at the sight of each other.
“You look so hot!” said one to another.
“And you look hot!” said another to another. It was a never ending cycle filled with shrills from satisfied customers.
Kate came up to me, staring at them, her head filled with questions. “Should I even ask what’s going on here?” she said.
“Nope, just go on behind and the counter because you’ll be needed there in a short while,” I replied, very pleased with myself.
“Celeste, you are incredible, you know that?” Naledi finally said. “We’ll take these, just like they are.”
“Well, I’m glad you like them.”
“Like them? We love your suggestions. I look so hot right now, wait till my ex boyfriend sees me. He’s going to regret the day he ever looked at another girl.”
“Right?” said Goitse. “You go girl!”
I moved away, because this wasn’t my conversation any longer. Kate was looking at me, satisfied with the fact that we were about to make a sale. She just loved the sight of money.
After the girls had left, each promising their return soon, Kate went all nurse-y on me again. I don’t know if she hadn’t noticed that I was just fine. She dug and showcased what was in the plastic bag from the supermarket. Food, glorious food! Yoghurt, bread, scrambled eggs, soup, fruit and two fruit juices.
“I can’t eat this!” I protested.
“Oh, but you are eating this,” she replied. “I’m not asking you to.”
She went over to the pantry in the back and grabbed two plates.
“You have managed to make three girls feel good about themselves today,” she said, coming back to my side. “And yet here you are, treating your body like crap. You want to lose weight, fine, but eating a carrot for breakfast to do so is not the way to do it.” There was fire burning in her eyes.
Well excuse me! “Fine, I’ll eat your food,” I said. I was going to eat it anyway. The minute the smell started filling my senses, there was no way I was not having Kate’s food. Her big speech-lecture thing was really not necessary. Now she gets to gloat about saving my life. Oh, but I do love that she’s concerned about me, my Katie ol’ pal!
Chapter 8
Today’s gym run was not that bad. My temporary personal trainer, Trevor, took down my weight. I’m 85 kilograms! The minute I saw that, I showed no negativity about any of the machines I was asked to hop on. I soared along the treadmill like the girl next to me, who was running like it was nothing. I pushed myself to get it, without complaining. I’m pretty sure Trevor was shocked to see the new me. He didn’t scream so much like the previous day and I did not feel nauseas. Take that, 85 kilograms! I’m kicking you out of my life. As I left to go to work, the gym staff were still all happy and bouncy. Here I was, all happy and bouncy along with them. It’s incredible how two days of exercise can make you feel.
Yesterday’s aerobics class, my first, was rather interesting. I think it’s going to eventually help me to break out of my shell. Here I was, with a bunch of other overweight women just breaking a sweat. There were literally four women, and a pudgy man in the middle of us. He looked like he was there with his wife. Together they formed the pudgy twosome. I looked at myself in the large mirrored wall in the dance hall where aerobics are held and I thought I wasn’t that bad. Maybe because I am really tall, it’s helped my fat spread around my body more, but I looked better than my counterparts. Trevor burst in through the doors with his music system and just blasted his best dance hall beats. Now, the reason why I claim that aerobics is going to help me get out of my shell is that I don’t dance- at all, in public. Here I was, in public, about to do some aerobics. A part of me felt some embarrassment about the fact that people were going to see me doing stupid moves, burning my fat, and another part just found the fact that we were here (me, the other two women and the pudgy twosome) for a common purpose, a little funny. I couldn’t stop smiling, a laugh just hiding underneath the smile. It is ridiculous, I am aware of that, but it’s also funny. Trevor began moving around, cavorting from one place to another like a drunken butterfly, expecting us to mimic his outrageous moves. That just set me right off. I wanted to disappear for a moment, have my laugh and leave the class. I don’t do things like this in public. The pudgy twosome were jumping around in circles helping out the mood of my proud and amused self. So in a minute, I was in there as well, participating. This was one to go in the record books, for me. There were people looking in through the glass window in the gym. I don’t know what they were looking at but I was not going to be paranoid. Knowing that I was not the worst, out of shape person in there made me feel so confident that when Trevor leaped, pretending he could fly, I was right behind him, leaping like my life depended on it.
I was looking forward to all the leaps and twirls I would do in the evening. Next week, I’ll be taking on tae bo. I researched it on the internet. I think all the anger I have should be put to good use, don’t you think? Aerobics is just too fruitcake for me. I need something more vigorous if losing weight isn’t going to take two years to accomplish.
“Good morning, dear Kate!” I said, springing into the boutique escaping the cold from outside. The weather was a strange thing. In the mornings and evenings, it would be so freezing, you’d never want to leave the house, but during the day it was like summer all over again. Dry and hot.
“Hey Celeste, you look rather chipper this morning. Was it a great workout?” she replied, taking her attention from whatever she was doing behind the counter.
“It was wonderful.” I didn’t complete that. It was wonderful because I saw my weight.
“I have something for you.”
“Oooh, a gift?” I hurried over to her, filled with curiosity.
Kate bent down and brought out a pile of old magazines from under the counter. She sighed and said, “This is it!”
“Magazines.” What?
“Yes. These are my mother’s old health magazines. I dug in the storage room for them all evening yesterday. You are going to look for healthy diet plans in here, fit for vegetarians.”
She said diet. I’m not on a diet!
“Did you have any breakfast today?”
Ugh, can’t she at least let me sit and dissolve all that has happened at gym first? What’s with all of this breakfast fuss all of a sudden? “No, I haven’t.”
“That’s okay, because I brought you oatmeal, from home. It’s still hot. I read that it’s packed with fibre.”
Kate handed me my breakfast. Now she’s a dietician. But really, what would I do without my best friend? Right now I’d be eating a carrot stick, waiting anxiously for lunch, celery. I’ve already given her two awards for best friend ever.
We looked all morning through the magazines, well, in between helping out customers (it was a busy morning). We narrowed the meal plans down to seven days. They all looked yummy. I just couldn’t wait to have them and embrace having no meat in my life. It is going to be hard, I must admit. In my country, meat is the most important part of the diet. I don’t think that there are many people who claim to be vegetarians. I was raised on meat and meat values. We could have it for breakfast, lunch and supper, and it still wouldn’t be enough. And I’m not even referring to chicken; I mean pure, unadulterated beef. We are beef people. Which is why my parents don’t take me seriously, because they know what I’m attempting is impossible. I question my intentions too, but then I don’t care, I’m just going to try.
*************
My sister keeps calling at home to notify us of the time she’ll
be here. I have to admit, I can’t wait to see her. It’s been a while, you know. I just hope she doesn’t make any snotty comments about my new lifestyle, or ask me about my love life. One time she said that she was worried about me, and asked me if I wasn’t a lesbian. Now I have nothing against being a lesbian, in fact I’ve thought about it, considered my options, but I’m positive and sure that I’m not a lesbian. I’m just very unlucky right now. My plan with Kate will bring me fortune in the love department. Determination always brings out positivity. Anyway, she’ll be here in the evening. Then we leave tomorrow for the rural village. Oh no, he wants me to do crunches. I hate stomach exercises. They are so hard and chore-like. Why can’t he make me do fun stomach exercises, if they exist. But I’m not going to complain because I’m 85 kilograms. I only get to complain when I look like that toned woman in the huge picture outside, posing on the spinning bicycle thing. I am not at liberty to be difficult and unwilling to try anything to reduce my waistline.
Kate was waiting for me outside the boutique because I had the keys. I locked up yesterday because she had to rush home early. It’s unfortunate really, because I’m really late and it’s really cold today. I hope the news I have for her will warm us both. I still can’t believe what I saw at the gym. Maybe I imagined it all.
“What took you so long?!” she yelled.
Not even a good morning, I love her manners.
“I’ll tell you all about it in a minute,” I replied.
“It’s quarter-past eight! It better be a good excuse.”
Oh, I hope it is. Kate just hates being late in anything she does, and I’ll never hear the end of this if she thinks my excuse is not good enough. There she goes, rushing to the cash register. One of these days I’m going to call her out for being obsessed with seeing money and making sales.
“Kate, I still don’t believe this, I hope you do,” I said, throwing my coat on the counter next to her. She frowned and placed it on the chair behind her.
Being Celeste Page 6