“You win, Blue.” He whispered to the retreating woman. “Fate picked a bitch of a time to screw around with our lives.” He pushed himself up, brushing grass and dust from the seat of his pants. “Sure hope you remember what you said about being careful what you prayed for because I’m sure as hell not the answer to any woman’s dreams.”
Shadow stopped pacing when she heard him on the porch. Just breathe and don’t do anything stupid. She grabbed for the ladle and stirred the stew simmering over the fire. Anything to keep her hands busy and to hide the telltale tremor in her fingers.
“May I come in, Blue?” Talon asked softly from the door.
“Of course. You live here, too.” She turned back to the pot. “There’s still plenty of the kava stew. If you’re hungry.” Crap! She was as nervous as a young girl on her first date. It’s just Talon. It’s just Talon. It’s just Talon. The litany didn’t calm the ton of butterflies in her gut.
“I’d love some.” He pulled out a chair and sat down. “It sure smells good. Are you going to join me?”
The last thing she needed was food on her nervous stomach; but the uncertainty in his voice stabbed her heart. There was no way she could deny him. Instead of answering him, she served both of them before joining him at the table.
An uncomfortable silence settled around them. The only sound was the occasional pop from a log shifting in the fire pit and the gentle tap of a spoon against a bowl. Say something, man! Don’t sit here and pretend there’s nothing wrong!
“Dinner was amazing, as usual. Thank you.” He stood from the table and dropped his dishes into the sink. “It’s been a…long day so I’m going to turn in early. Good night, Blue.”
He sounded so…resigned…and it broke her heart. “Talon, wait….”
When he turned to face her she thought she saw a tiny spark of…what? Hope? Need? Whatever it was, it called to her on the most basic level. Don’t screw this up! One second she was pushing away from the table and the next she was in his arms with her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. She didn’t remember running to him or leaping at him or even wondering if he would catch her.
“I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered against his neck, breathing in the warm, spicy musk that was pure male—pure Talon. “It was stupid….”
“No, baby. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry for running out on you like that.” He kissed her shoulder before moving to her neck and finally her temple. “You feel so damn good, Blue.”
She wanted to explain why she pushed so hard this morning but his hands cupping her ass, squeezing the plush mounds were playing hell with her thought processes. Later, she promised herself.
“I’ve got clean sheets on my bed.” She pulled back far enough to flash a grin.
“Clean sheets—the floor—a muddy field.” He carried her through the house to her room. “Even tied up and hanging from the ceiling. There is no place you could be that I wouldn’t want to sink into your warm, willing body.” He pushed her legs from his body until they stood toe-to-toe.
“I was so afraid you wouldn’t come back.” The admission whispered softly between them.
He placed a fingertip against her lips, silencing her. “I will always, always, come back to you, my beautiful Blue. That’s a promise.”
His fingertip traced the bow-shaped curve of her upper lip before slipping inside. Her eyes stared straight into his when she bit the soft pad before swallowing his entire finger, keeping him captive with her strong suction.
“Saturn’s balls, Blue!” He gasped. “You’re killing me.” He slid his finger in and out of her warm mouth, keeping time with the rhythm of her hips rocking against his leg. With a groan, he pulled his finger free.
“Playtime’s over, baby.” He whispered, reaching for the buttons on her shirt.
She pulled free of his hands and backed him up until he hit the bed. “Why don’t you get naked and comfortable?”
“Is this part of your training program, Blue?” He grinned and stripped out of his clothes in record time. Once settled in the middle of the bed, he leaned against the headboard with his arms folded behind his head. Those rock-hard pecs and biceps bulged, silently begging her to come play.
Shadow laughed, thoroughly enjoying their game. “I doubt there’s anything I can teach you. You seemed to have all the skills you need to get the job done. Just relax and watch.”
Shadow walked to the end of the bed, facing a naked, fully aroused Talon. She had every intention of showing him just how happy she was that he was in her bed. His eyes tracked every movement as she slipped one button after another loose. Talon threw her binding cloth in the fire the first time he saw it so now her breasts were free, her nipples hard and flushed with her arousal. Her shirt dropped to the floor. She made quick work of her boots and pants and crawled onto the bed wearing nothing but a silky thong.
“You forget something, Blue?”
Shadow ran her fingers along the edge of the thong, skimming lightly over the dampness before snapping the elastic waist. “I didn’t want to have all the fun. Have to leave something for you to do.”
His grin was pure seduction but she wasn’t ready to carry the foreplay into more intense activity. She wanted the fire in his jade green eyes to blaze hotter and brighter than a super nova.
“You go right ahead and play all the games you want, Blue. We’ve got all night.”
His words didn’t match the tension tightening his muscles. Nope. He wasn’t nearly as laid back as he sounded. Time to push him over the edge—as long as he took her with him.
Straddling one long leg, Shadow slowly crawled up his body. When she reached his knee, he bent his leg just enough to brush against her dampness. Using his thighs for balance, she pushed down, putting more pressure where she desperately needed it.
Talon tried to hold back and let his woman play but the whimpers slipping past those luscious lips every time she rocked against his knee pushed him dangerously close to the edge of his control. He grabbed her shoulders, pulling her up for a deep kiss. Tongues tangled, each battling for control of the other. He found the small gemstone embedded in her tooth and stroked it. Someday soon he wanted to feel it caress his cock again. He would happily yield to her because her taste was addictive. When he broke the kiss to draw air into his starved lungs, she moaned in complaint.
Talon rolled her to her back. It was time for him to play. His lips brushed the pulse beating rapidly at her throat before moving down to her breasts. Her nipples, already swollen, hardened even more when he suckled first one then the other into his mouth. The warmth spreading across her body told him she liked what he was doing.
“What color is that almost nothing piece of fancy you call panties?” He seldom thought about what he couldn’t see. Until he met this woman. He wanted to see the color of her nipples. Were they a dark pink from his mouth? Did her skin flush pink with her arousal? Yeah, he definitely missed total sight with her in his arms.
“Red with black elastic. I thought Butts destroyed my last good pair but I found these buried in my saddlebags. All my panties are…were…one or both of those two colors.”
“That’s handy information to have.” He kissed his way down to her belly button.
“Why do you care?” Her breathless question brought a smile to his face. Oh, yeah, he was doing something right.
“Because I’m gonna have to buy more.” Without giving her a chance to question him, he ripped the scrap of silky fabric and tossed it across the room.
“Be cheaper on both of us if I just went commando, like you. You gonna talk all night or get down to business?”
Her legs constantly shifted and he could smell her arousal. He held her in place by throwing a leg over hers and pushing her hips down to the mattress.
“You got an appointment I don’t know about?” He bit the soft skin of her stomach and grinned when she jerked and moaned.
“Hell, yes. I have a meeting with an orgasm any minute and I need you deep in me not playing a
round with my stomach.”
“Darlin’, I’m not playing and you will not come until I tell you.” A little domination added a dash of spice to sex.
“Oh, hell no! I’ll do it myself before I let you go all caveman on me.”
He grabbed the hand that moved from his shoulder to the needy area between her legs. “I want to taste all that sweet cream.”
“Talon!” She gasped, trying to lift his shoulders enough to wiggle out from under him. “Please don’t. I’m too close. I need….”
“I’ll give you anything you need, sweet Blue.” His warm breath flowed over the swollen bundle of nerves clearly visible through her soft folds. She shattered, arching her back and calling his name.
“Now who has a problem with staying power?” He mumbled, quickly covering her body with his and sliding home. The pulsing grasp of her release pulled him deep and into his own satisfaction.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Shadow lay snug against Talon’s chest after their last round of amazing sex. She could get used to sleeping in his arms every night. His face, momentarily bathed in a flash of lightning looked younger. It was easy to see traces of Darius when he was like this.
“You should be sleeping, Blue. This storm makes good snuggling weather.” He mumbled, kissing the top of her head.
“I need to tell you about my childhood so you’ll understand why I was excited about finding that trunk. You don’t realize what a precious gift your mother left for you.”
“Why don’t we talk about it after breakfast?”
“I kinda need to do this in the dark since I’ve only told this one other time and that didn’t end well for me.” She pulled the blanket to her chin and Talon tucked it around her shoulders. She could hear the reluctance in his voice but she had to do this. “I won’t be able to see the disgust on your face in the dark.”
He rolled toward her and pulled her body tight against his chest. “You’ve seen me at my lowest, Blue. Trust me…nothing you’ve done will make me think any less of you.”
“We’ll see if you feel the same way when I finish. Just, please, don’t stop me or interrupt, okay?” Suck it up and spit it out.
“My earliest memories start when I’m about four or five years old. I lived in a mountain compound of mercenaries—all men. It was perfectly normal to me to spend all day practicing fighting skills because that was all I saw. Those men were some of the toughest fighters on any planet and they trained me to be just like them.
“Everything was perfect in my world until I got old enough to notice I wasn’t built like them. I was missing some vital equipment, if you know what I mean. When I asked what happened to my handle it caused a minor riot. Some of them laughed, but most just acted like I hadn’t asked a question. It hurt my feelings but I didn’t cry. Soldiers don’t cry. Crying shows weakness to your enemies.” She stopped and drew a deep breath.
“Finally, Urax, the leader of the compound, took me into the Operations Center and sat me down at the big table where they planned the campaigns. He pulled out a book with pictures of naked women and told me that was what I would look like in a few years and that when it happened, I would have to leave the compound because women weren’t allowed and if I stayed I’d end up making babies with the men.
“That’s when I asked if that was how I got there. He said they found me on a freighter that had been reported stolen from the Orion VII outpost. Every member of the crew was executed before the pirates abandoned ship. Urax was hired to retrieve the bodies of the crew and track down the pirates. He would get the salvage rights to the freighter and the bounty money for each of the pirates.
“He found me in a life-support capsule. I still had dried blood from my birth all over me, he said. By the time they delivered the crew and captured the pirates I was walking and talking. They asked everyone connected to the freighter about me but the story was always the same. There was no woman on board. I don’t know why they kept me but they did and my life was good because it was all I knew.”
Shadow shifted closer to Talon’s warmth. The next evolution of her life still had the power to destroy her if she allowed it. His hand, rubbing small circles against her back, relaxed her enough to continue.
“My body was changing rapidly and it didn’t go unnoticed. During the same time, jobs became fewer and fewer and when they did get called out, the money wasn’t worth the wear and tear on the equipment. Tempers grew shorter and shorter. Urax started taking on less…legitimate job offers. The casualty count climbed but profits dropped. That’s when the superstitious men started pointing at me. Women weren’t allowed and I was physically a woman.
“We were down to less than a hundred warriors when a call came down for support troops to back up a planned coup on the far side of the planet. Everyone had to go—even me. A transport ship picked us up and we packed in with all our gear. I look back now and realize Urax was having second thoughts about this job and those around him picked up on his anxiety.
“I brought everything to a head when I got my first period. The cramps were bad enough but when the blood started running down my leg, soaking through my pants I started screaming. With no women in my life, I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought I was dying. Urax slapped me hard enough to knock me out. When I woke up, the ship had landed and the coup failed. We were now the hunted and the men blamed me.
“A couple of weeks later Urax stopped at a small village. He took me to the local medic and told her to fix it so my curse couldn’t cause trouble ever again. Oh, gods, Talon, that woman was evil. She strapped me to an old wooden table so I couldn’t move. She didn’t wash her hands or the knife she used to cut me open from hipbone to hipbone. My screams were ignored and at some point I passed out from the pain. When I woke up, I had a belly full of stitches and no reproductive system. She said I was a late bloomer and wouldn’t have been able to conceive anyway. I was seventeen and just as soon as I was able to drag my body out of bed, I left town. At the next town I passed, I told the Bounty Officer exactly where Urax and his men were hiding.”
She grabbed the edge of the blanket and scrubbed at the tears running down her face. Dammit, she hated it when she cried.
“Did you ever find out where you came from or who your family might be?” Talon asked, quietly, while still making those soothing circles against her back.
“There was nowhere to look; but, don’t you see? That’s why I wanted you to have the memories of your mother. I have never had any connection to anyone. Urax made sure I was fed and clothed and trained but not once did he touch me with affection.”
Talon rolled to the opposite side of the bed and sat up on the edge. His rejection pierced her heart but she knew this would happen. She hid the pain and tried again to reach the heart of the little boy who survived. Survivor’s guilt!
“You don’t realize what a truly unique experience this is—or can be if you’re strong enough to reach for it. You have horrific memories of this place, I get that; but what happens after you kill Draagon? Do you honestly think all those images will magically disappear and you’ll go back to being Darius?”
“Enough, Shadow.”
Talon’s flat, cold voice would have stopped anyone else. Her dreams may have died on that filthy table but that didn’t mean his couldn’t still come true.
“No! Why won’t you let her memories carry you past Draagon? It’s all in her journal. All the love she shared with the two men who were her entire world. Do you have any idea how rare that is? How lucky you are? I’d give everything I owned for one single, special moment of that kind of love.”
“I don’t deserve love—from anyone—especially from her.” Talon’s fists clenched the blanket beneath him. It was the reality keeping him sane. If he released his grip…if he allowed a single microscopic bit of belief in what Shadow offered….
He couldn’t take the chance. He was too raw—too vulnerable. The horror of those days and weeks replayed in his dreams over and over and over.
“That’s not true.” She whispered against his back. “I…I could love you. Part of me already does.”
Gods! Blue, if you only knew how desperately I want what you’re offering. We’re a hellava pair, aren’t we? Looks like the only way to convince you I’m a lost cause is to fill your mind with my memories.
“You have no idea how special you are, Blue. You deserve a man who can care for you, hold you in the middle of the night. Not one who wakes up screaming and vomiting. Maybe, after I finish with Draagon I’ll be in a better frame of mind to accept what you’re saying.
“I watched them all die while I hid up in the trees.” One part of him wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go. The other part—the stronger part—knew it couldn’t happen.
“Talon…,” she cried softly and slipped her arms around his waist.
He didn’t have the courage to push her away. He needed her strength and support. The raging storm outside couldn’t drown out the sound of his voice or Shadow’s quiet weeping as he shared the death of his innocence. At some point they moved back under the blankets because that’s where he was when he finished his confession. She still had him wrapped in her arms, her head on his chest. He knew without a doubt, if she let go he would shatter into so many pieces he’d never put himself back together again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
As soon as he left to hunt, Shadow turned her energy toward helping him reconnect to his past—all of his past. Talon was stubbornly convinced he didn’t deserve to look at another way of life until Draagon was dead. She could work with that. That was why she was hired in the first place. Back when Dak and Kierin approached her, it was just another job. Now, the only thing she knew for certain was her need to free Talon from the prison of his guilt.
Her first instinct was to take all the wonderful things she’d discovered and shove them under his nose. Nope. That wouldn’t work; not with a man like Talon. While she admired and respected his unwavering loyalty to the vow he made twenty years ago, it was time to let it go. A twelve-year-old boy, sheltered from any harsh reality, didn’t have the skills to form such a life-altering decision. The souls of his village may be crying out for justice but it was time for him to face his realities and the limits that came with those realities.
The Men of Anderas III: Talon, the Assassin Page 13