“Because you’d all disappear.”
I didn’t reply, but he was right. I had a few hundred that would keep us at a cheap motel for a few nights, at least. Tessa and Makay would help me figure out what to do then.
Jameson slowly gave me back the phone. “Anyway, that’s not what I meant. I want to help, and there are ways to get that from the system.”
“How?” I asked. “After I lose the girls? I’m the only family they have. The only stability. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s more than where they came from.”
I knew because I’d grown up in a family with money, and I felt more love in my dingy, rundown apartment with runaways than I ever had in my parents’ million-dollar house. “I’m twenty-two. I haven’t even graduated from college. I have a part-time job that I’m lucky to have because it pays me triple minimum wage, but it isn’t enough.”
Another tear fell, and I wiped it away impatiently. The tears came only from frustration, because inside I was strong and my resolve was hardening. The girls and I could pack fast. He didn’t know my last name or the name of the girls I had guardianship over. He’d never find where we’d gone. No more groceries from Payden, but that couldn’t be helped.
A young couple passed us on the street, giving us a sidelong stare. “I’m okay,” I told them. “We’re just breaking up.” They nodded, looking embarrassed, and continued walking.
“Breaking up?” Jameson gawked at me, one side of his beautiful mouth twitching upward. “Oh, no, Lily. We’re just beginning.”
“What?” My turn to gawk.
“I went to the store today because Payden told me about what you’d done for Elsie. I came because I wanted to see if I could help you and her.”
No wonder he’d just happened to be there in time to help me carry the box. “If you really want to help, you’ll just leave us alone. I told Payden I didn’t need you.”
I started to walk back in the direction of the apartment to pack up the girls, but he grabbed my hand. “Wait, Lily. Please.”
Something in his voice made me stop. Or was it his touch? Because it was warm and made my heart pound, but it also felt strangely . . . familiar.
“I have no intention of reporting you or the girls.”
“Really?” I met his eyes, searching for signs of deceit.
“Believe it or not, I do understand. I’ve seen parents do things they shouldn’t, and I’ve seen kids getting lost in the paperwork.” A crease appeared between his eyes, and for a brief instant, his eyes had the same haunted look that I still found far too often in Elsie’s. “But I also know you can do a lot more for these girls with the system on your side instead of working against you.” He paused for a minute, thinking. He hadn’t let go of my hand, and I didn’t pull away. “The first thing to do is get you licensed as a foster parent. Then we’ll see what you can do from there.”
“You can’t know how much I want that.” I didn’t mean it to come out as a whisper. “To be legitimate.”
“I think I do. I’ve been to your crummy apartment.”
I slowly took my hand from Jameson’s, because we weren’t together and ultimately it was my problem, not his. “I’m not sure where to begin. I’ve still got a couple years left of school, maybe more if I change majors again.” I wasn’t even sure if the college would give me more than another year of scholarships.
“Foster parenting isn’t about school, it’s more about learning skills to deal with kids in crisis. I work at a place called Teen Remake, and we offer classes that count with the Department of Child Safety. It’s for anyone who’d like to be a foster parent or work with kids, even for those of us who don’t want to major in social work. I could get you hooked up if you’re interested. Plus, there are other opportunities to learn or be involved. They step up their programs during the summer months and always need more help—and not just for volunteers. There are paid openings. Call me, and we’ll figure out a time for you to go in.” He reached in his back pocket and from his wallet pulled out a card that listed his name and his accounting services.
“You work in their program or do their accounting?” I asked.
“Actually, both. I started out helping with their budgeting. Then I got interested in the programs. I’ve been there three years now, two full time, but I’m dropping down to part time again when I go back to school this fall to finish my degree.”
“If I go, my girls stay out of it?”
He nodded. “For now.”
That irritated me. Who did he think he was? But the offer of a license was temptation enough to overlook a lot. What should I do? There was no one really to ask besides Tessa, and if I was honest, she usually came to me for advice these days.
“Okay,” I said finally. “I’d like to try.” Being legit was everything.
“It helps that you have guardianship over two of the girls. Their relatives must trust you.”
“Actually, their uncle had custody, and I threatened to tell the police that he tried to rape me if he didn’t agree to give me guardianship so I could put them in school.” I met Jameson’s eyes straight on. “He was guilty of more than attempted rape. Just not with me.”
Jameson’s nostrils flared and his fists clenched. I could just imagine his opinion of me falling a couple more notches on his measuring stick. Well, I’d already determined that it wouldn’t work out between us.
“I doubt he’s going to cry blackmail if he’s already given you the girls. How long have you had them?”
“Five months.”
“They doing well in school?”
“Better than before.”
Jameson smiled, and my stomach did the same funny dance it had when I’d come down with the stomach flu. It’s the girls he’s interested in helping, I told myself. He’d only come to the store to check on Elsie. The rest had been a smokescreen.
My theory was blown to bits when his hand moved slowly to wipe the tear from under my left eye. The sound of traffic faded and it was just us, as if someone had sucked away all the sound and everything around us to another dimension.
“I don’t know what I’d expected when Payden first told me about you, but you’re much more than anything I thought up.” His voice lowered as he added, “I think you’re even a bit amazing.”
His words were so unexpected, I couldn’t even blink. His eyes drank me in. One part of my mind knew there were cars in the street and people nearby, but I couldn’t sense any of them.
Jameson’s hand dropped. “With all that stuff out of the way, let’s get down to the most important thing—will you go out with me?”
3
As I ran to meet Tessa’s car, a vision of Jameson doing dishes with Ruth kept pushing into my mind. She hadn’t been cringing or afraid of him. Even Elsie had taken a slice of his pizza. Didn’t that say something?
I didn’t want to put a lot of trust in him, but it was too late to worry about that now. Standing on the sidewalk looking into those eyes had made all the romantic dreams I’d tried to squash come roaring to life. I believed him.
Tessa peeked at her phone as I slipped into the passenger seat of her compact Toyota. “You’re going to be late.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t tell me. It’s the people on your lines who might start asking questions.”
I shrugged. “They’ll think I’m in a meeting. Besides, I’ve got them all well-trained. Everything should run smoothly for a few minutes without me.” I tried not to think about the dull hours ahead, watching my line workers as they hurried to meet their daily quota. I suspected that moving me from accounting to line supervisor was a punishment for transferring out of the business classes my father had been adamant I should take. The lines were boring and tedious, but in the end, I was good at it because it was only a matter of organization. Managing workers was far easier than taking care of my girls.
Tessa didn’t reply as she concentrated on pulling into traffic. She was two years older, and growing up we’d been insep
arable. College, work, and different interests had changed that a little, but not enough to make a difference. She’d always been a constant in my life. She liked to joke that someone had upended a bucket of orange paint on her head, but I thought her “strawberry blond” hair was stunning. I also loved the freckles that blotted most of her face. I’d tried counting them as a child but had given up after ninety-nine. I’d always been annoyed that I had blond hair and only seven freckles.
“What?” she said, apparently feeling my stare.
“Thanks for coming.”
“What happened to your car anyway?”
“I lent it to Saffron. She had a job interview.”
Tessa laughed. “Are you sure she’s going to bring it back?”
There was that. “Unless something spooks her, she will. She’s only got two more months before she’s eighteen. She’s actually very reliable.”
Tessa frowned as she glanced in the rearview mirror. “How’s she doing?”
“A lot better. She’s been going to those free counseling sessions at that church near the college.”
Saffron’s family had kicked her out when she’d turned up expecting last year. She’d survived several months on the street before she lost the baby—and her hope. She’d crashed after that, blaming the baby’s death on herself. One day she took too many sleeping pills to end the pain. Fortunately, I found her passed out in a classroom at the college where she’d been sleeping during the days, trying to blend in with the regular students. After I took her to the hospital for emergency care, where she refused to tell them her real name, she’d had nowhere to go and ended up staying with me in my old apartment.
“So glad for her. She’s lucky she has you. All of the girls are.” Tessa glanced at me and then back to the road, her mouth curving in a smile.
I wanted to tell Tessa about the move and about Jameson, but something pressed deeper on my mind. “I just need a bigger place.”
“You mean something like that house you used to dream about.”
“Oh, I still dream about it.” I laid my head back on the seat and sighed. “A big house with a ton of rooms and a big yard. It can be old and rundown, and full of weeds. Or have broken siding or old wallpaper.”
“Even a green fridge?”
I laughed. “Even a green fridge, because none of that matters. It’s full of love and music and fun.”
Tessa laughed with me. “Are the girls there in this dream?”
“Of course! It’s all for them.”
Tessa bit her lip, and this time when she glanced over, I saw the tears glistening there. “I remember us talking about it at night when we were kids. You’d come and snuggle in my bed with me.”
When Mom and Dad were screaming, she meant. Fighting over my father’s lies. I reached out and touched her leg. “I’m going to do it! As soon as I get Grandpa’s money, I’ll find a place. Or before if I can find something I can afford.” A house without lies—that was my dream.
“I’ll help,” Tessa said.
I clapped my hands, startling her with the noise. “Right! You could get the money next year. Well, if you hurry and get married.”
“There is that.” She grimaced. “But that’s probably not going to happen. We’d better stick with plan A.”
“Either way, I’m going to make it happen.”
Tessa nodded and grinned. “I know you will.”
“Speaking of houses, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I moved.”
“What!” She did a double take at me before looking back at the street.
“Yeah, some of my old roommates got upset when I brought Elsie home. I couldn’t exactly hide her, since she was all beaten up and I had to carry her inside. But at this place, we don’t have to sneak around all the time.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped you move.”
“We didn’t have much—just a couple of car loads—and it happened so fast. We’re at the same place as Makay now. It’s a dump, but we have a lot more room.” I laughed as I said it. Who would have ever thought I’d call that tiny apartment more room?
We pulled up at Crawford Cereals, and Tessa leaned over to hug me. “Have I ever told you how proud I am of you? You’re like a light in this dark world—that’s why those girls trust you so much and want to do anything you say.”
I laughed suddenly, feeling more positive than I had in weeks. “Well, they don’t do everything I say, but I’m working on it. Anyway, I’m proud of you, too. You’re the one who changed my diapers when you were only a baby yourself, and made sure I was safe. I’m probably alive because of you.”
I didn’t add that she’d been all I’d had growing up, but we both knew it. Or at least after our grandfather had died. Our mother had been into charities and entertaining, not children. And our father, well, he was into work and money. There had been a series of housekeepers after the nanny left when I was two, but they weren’t the loving, motherly kind you read about in story books. Mother liked to hire efficient and silent help.
“Grandfather never would have made you wait for the money if he were still alive,” Tessa said. “You know he did that because of how Dad was when he was young. He wanted to make sure the money wouldn’t ruin us.”
“Maybe he’s right. It’ll mean more once we get it.” I hugged her. “But I’ll have the house before then. You’ll see.” I started to get out of the car, then paused. “I almost forgot to tell you. I met someone.”
“No way.” Tessa’s eyes grew large. I could see the darker blue ring around her iris and the gold flecks near the pupils, like shimmering freckles. It was like looking into my own eyes and practically the only thing that marked us as sisters.
“What do you mean, no way?”
“It was how your face looked when you said ‘I met someone.’ Like it was important. What’s his name?”
“Most people call him Mario, but I call him Jameson. He asked me out and I said maybe. I’ll have to explain it all some other time, or I’ll be even more late.” I slammed the door.
“You’d better!” she called, her voice muffled now. I waved and ran to the factory.
Inside, my lines and all my workers were in chaos. One of the packing machines had broken down, and the cereal boxes had been misprinted. But in ten minutes, I had new boxes delivered, and all but the broken line functioning. Fifteen minutes after that, the machine was fixed. To make up for the lost time, I planned to fill in at each station as the workers took their breaks. We’d still make our minimum quota that way, but my father had already peeked in the room, and he didn’t look happy. I knew I should have been there on time, but I didn’t know how to change that. The girls had to come first. Unfortunately, working the line myself meant I’d have to do my quarterly employee reviews and my other reports at home.
Fleetingly, my thoughts went to Jameson and getting licensed as a foster parent. Maybe that would work out. He’d also said the company might be hiring, and I’d give almost anything to work anywhere but here, even though the factory was my beloved grandfather’s legacy. But Grandfather had left his own father’s law firm to start this factory, so he’d understand.
My phone buzzed as I was walking to relieve the third employee, and I picked up, feeling trepidation when I didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”
“Lily! Good, you answered.”
“Ruth? Is everything okay?” The last time they’d called me at work was when Zoey had been sent home early from school for fighting. There was always the chance that Jameson had reported us, though the girls knew well enough not to open the door to strangers, so there might be time to salvage things if that was the case. The thought made my mouth go dry.
“I just had to tell you!” Ruth gave a little squeal. “Some delivery guy came with flowers. At first we wasn’t gonna open the door, but Saffron was home and she had us hide while she answered. And they turned out to be flowers for you! White lilies. A whole dozen of them! And we opened the card—sorry, we couldn’t wait.�
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“Who are they from?”
“Someone named Jameson?”
Relief cut through my anxiety. “Oh, good.”
“Who’s Jameson? We thought they might be from Mario, since it’s obvious he’s totally in love with you. You holding out on us, girl?”
I laughed. “No, Mario is Jameson. I just call him that.”
“Ooooh, I get it. A secret nickname.”
“Not secret. His mother uses it.”
“Always best to make nice with the mother, I say.”
“I haven’t even met his mother.”
“Oh, you will. I have no doubt. Well, I gotta go. I’m going to vacuum the apartment. See you later.”
Vacuum? Ruth was the mothering kind, but she didn’t ordinarily do Saffron’s job. In fact, most of the girls still had trouble getting their chores finished without my nagging. I’d have to look into that later. Ruth seemed happier than I thought she’d be about my dating someone. She usually showed nothing but revulsion for any male we encountered, including Saffron’s frequent dates.
Jameson had sent me flowers.
I waited until my own break to call the number on the card he’d pushed into my hand, and he picked up on the second ring. “Okay,” I told him. “I’ll go out with you. No nicknames though. I’m confused enough about what to call you.”
“Great!” he said. “Unfortunately, I met this girl today, and I’m crazy about her. She has the most amazing eyes, and she knows how to climb roofs. In fact, I’ve been waiting for her call, but she didn’t give me her number, so I won’t even know it’s her if she calls. Do you think I’m waiting for nothing?”
A laugh bubbled up inside me. “I don’t think so. Maybe I could give her a message for you?”
“Really? Will you ask her if I can pick her up tonight at six? Will that be too soon do you think?”
A thrill shot through me; he wasn’t wasting any time. “It’s cutting it short, but I think she’ll be home.”
House Without Lies (Lily’s House Book 1) Page 3