“I’m really glad you’re here. Thanks for making the trip.”
“Well, I’m probably going to be in Spain for Thanksgiving this year, so I wanted to visit you this summer. Maria’s call gave me the perfect excuse—and a much-needed update on the status of your relationship,” Natalie said pointedly.
Sam cleared her throat. “Sorry about that. I wasn’t sure how to tell you.”
“Jesus, Sam, you open your mouth and say words. It’s not hard.”
“For the longest time, everything about you felt hard.”
Natalie sighed. “I’m really sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. I’m not mad anymore. It’s in the past, and tonight, we’re going to have a great time, uh…” She trailed off as Natalie pulled the car into the parking lot of Stowe Mini-Golf. “Uh…sinking holes-in-one through oversized clown mouths.”
“Precisely,” Natalie said. “And I should warn you: Maria says she’s a brilliant mini-golfer.”
Sam laughed. “Well, if she golfs the way she plays poker, she’s underselling herself.”
They headed inside, Natalie hurrying past her and shouting over her shoulder, “I call the green ball!”
“For crying out loud, it’s my birthday,” Sam hollered, but no one seemed to care.
The poker ladies formed one mini-golf team, and a couple of the salon artists formed another, leaving Maria, Natalie, Brendon, and Sam as a group. In between shots, Sam was able to flit back and forth from group to group, catching up with people and thanking them for coming. Both Brendon and Natalie committed to monitoring Maria’s shots, but she achieved an obnoxious number of holes-in-one with absolutely no funny business. The group’s range of skill level spanned from Hunter—who took so many shots at each hole, she sometimes just gave up—to Father Mark, who just barely edged out Maria for the lowest score. He winked and claimed it was God’s will, but Sam suspected it had something to do with the limited extracurricular options available to priests. All of the staff at Stowe Mini-Golf knew Father Mark by name, and they handed him his favorite ball when he arrived—a black and white striped one that made Sam dizzy to look at.
Because it was a Tuesday and this was Stowe, they were the only people there, apart from the staff. They waited for pizza in the clubhouse at the picnic tables just outside, and it felt for a minute like Maria had given her the perfect birthday party for an eighth grader. Then Natalie and Brendon brought out pitchers of Magic Hat #9, and Earl mentioned that this was the first time he’d golfed since he got arthritis. Jenny and Jamie informed everyone that Jenny was pregnant. Sam gave up trying to pinpoint a maturity level for the evening when Brandi suggested a kissing line, which she politely declined.
When they’d had their fill of pizza, beer, and ice cream and everyone had wished Sam a happy birthday, they drifted toward their cars. Maria had parked next to Natalie, and suddenly, Sam was confronted with the question of who she’d ride to Maria’s place with, since Natalie would take Pauly to Eva’s for the night.
Natalie walked a few paces ahead, and Maria slid her fingers in between Sam’s. “Hey, you. Did you enjoy golfing?”
“Did I enjoy being demolished by you on my birthday? You know, the polite thing to do would be to let the birthday girl win.”
“Oh, please. Tell me you’ve ever been comfortable with someone ever letting you win.”
“True. I don’t need your pity.”
“You can ride with her,” Maria said quietly. “You don’t get to see her very often.”
Sam stopped walking and looked at Maria, gauging whether she was being tested. She saw nothing but thoughtfulness in Maria’s perpetually kind eyes. “I’ll see her at lunch tomorrow. Right now, I just want you.”
Maria brushed her thumb across the corner of Sam’s mouth. “You’re quite the charmer, Samantha Latham.”
“And don’t you forget it,” Sam said. When they arrived at the cars, Natalie was leaning against Eva’s car, texting. “Are you okay just following us to Maria’s?”
Natalie looked at their hands and grinned. “Are you sure we won’t be separated by dense Stowe traffic?”
“We’ll manage,” Maria said. “You remember what my house looks like, just in case?”
“Got it. Have fun, you crazy kids,” Natalie said, and she got into Eva’s car.
They were halfway there when Maria took Sam’s hand. “I know I said it doesn’t matter, but it means a lot that you’re riding with me.”
“It’s been great to spend the day with so many wonderful people—people who mean a lot to me. But it came at the expense of one-on-one time with you, and I missed that.”
“Should I not have planned all this?”
Sam caressed her hand, memorizing every curve, the texture of her skin, the way her fingers moved against hers. “I’m glad you did. It was the best birthday I’ve had in a long time. I’m just very much looking forward to alone time with you.”
As promised, that night Maria gave her the kind of present Eva wouldn’t want to know about, at least once in almost every room of her house. All in all, it was a huge improvement over Sam’s previous birthday. Perhaps the best birthday ever.
FALL 2009
It had been a long day, in which the hypothetical situations in Sam’s Clinical Decision-making course at UVM had been brutal and ambiguous, leaving her emotionally drained. Then her advisor for her first-year lab rotation told her she wasn’t aiming high enough with her research proposal. Evidently, she had read Sam’s publication from her undergrad studies, had spoken personally with Dr. West, and “expected great things.” It was the double-edged sword of having a reputation for brilliance.
The drive back to Stowe was taking longer than usual, snow flurries necessitating more cautious driving than was Sam’s custom. She rubbed her eyes; her commute was only going to get longer as the weather worsened and winter took full effect.
All she wanted was Maria. But she needed to get home to relieve Phyllis. Their former nurse’s mother was working out exceptionally well—probably the only element of this new schedule that gave Sam relief. The commute was proving harder than she’d anticipated, and sometimes entire days went by without her seeing her mother or Maria at all. On top of that, nights spent memorizing anatomy and reading in her father’s study were making her drowsy at the wheel.
Her meeting with her lab advisor had run long, and Eva was going to be asleep by the time she got home. When she pulled back into Stowe, she drove past the turn for her house and instead headed to Maria’s for a quick kiss.
The house was dark when she pulled into the driveway, and no one responded to her “hello?” after she let herself in. They were probably at the restaurant, and Sam didn’t have time to add another stop to her trip home. Taking a few minutes for herself, she wandered the darkened hallways and rooms, basking in the feel and smell of Maria. The kitchen may have been immaculate, but Maria was slightly less fastidious about the rest of the house. A sweatshirt was draped over the back of the couch and smelled like her hair. A to-do list related to winterizing the greenhouses was on the dining room table, along with some ideas for new menu items and drawings Pauly hadn’t put away.
These few minutes alone in Maria’s house would have to be enough to fortify her—she was already late, and poor Phyllis would be waiting. It was a brief drive to her house, and she rolled down the windows, hoping the chill would wake her up for the hours of studying she had to complete before she could go to bed.
Phyllis was watching some cop procedural and snacking on pretzels when she walked in.
“How was she today?” Sam asked, taking off her boots and coat.
“Quiet. I think her legs were bothering her from our walk yesterday. She drew for a bit, and we read. She went to bed early, though, and I couldn’t get her to eat anything.”
Sam nodded. “Thanks for trying. Thanks for everything.”
> Phyllis gathered her things and patted Sam on the shoulder as she shrugged into her coat. “You okay, Sam? You look tired.”
“Sweet of you to ask, Phyllis. I’m fine. Just looking forward to the weekend.”
“Big plans?”
“Yeah, sleep. And absolutely no driving—I’m so over being in the car.”
“Might need a new one. Not sure how that old Chevy will handle the roads this winter.”
“Yeah, maybe,” she said absently, wondering how far she could stretch her med school loans.
She shut the door behind Phyllis and leaned against it, closing her eyes for a moment and trying to empty her mind of thoughts like a new car and icy roads. She couldn’t afford to spend her study time distracted.
A quick glance into Eva’s room confirmed that her mother was sleeping soundly, with Aphrodite on her feet and Zeus on the floor by her bed. She changed into pajama pants, a T-shirt, and a hoodie before heading downstairs to Jack’s old study.
She really needed to stop calling it that, even in her head. He hadn’t lived there for years now, and at this point, the room contained more of her things than his. She was grateful he’d left the anatomical skeleton model, which still stood in the corner where it had always terrified her as a kid. The posters of the pulmonary, respiratory, and cardiovascular systems on the wall brought back a lot of memories—she’d memorized most of their contents when, as a child, she “played” in Jack’s study while he worked.
Booting up her laptop and pulling her textbooks out of her bag, she geared up for a long night. Maybe she needed coffee. She was contemplating going upstairs to brew some when her phone dinged. It was a text from Maria.
Back home? There’s a gorgeous full moon tonight. You should go outside and look before you work the night away.
Add this to the list of things she loved about Maria: thoughtful reminders to stop and smell the roses.
On her way to the sliding glass door that led to the backyard, she grabbed a quilt off the couch in Jack’s office and wrapped it around her shoulders. Come to think of it, maybe she’d just keep the quilt on when she came back inside—the heater never quite seemed to break through the chill in the basement.
She slid the door closed and turned to look at the moon, but got distracted by a folding table, a lantern, two chairs, and Maria.
“Hey, there. I missed you,” Maria said.
Sam pulled her into a hug. “Missed you too,” she said into curly hair. “I stopped by your house.”
“I was here.”
“Phyllis has a pretty good poker face. I wouldn’t invite her to join your game if you don’t want the competition.”
“I don’t want to talk about Phyllis,” Maria said, kissing her until Sam forgot everything else but the feel of Maria’s lips and the taste of her breath.
When they finally pulled away, Maria indicated the chairs. Sam sat in one and pulled Maria onto her lap, wrapping the quilt around them both. “You know it’s freezing out here,” she said.
“And you have work. I know. We don’t have to stay out here long, but there’s something I wanted to ask you.”
Sam bit her lip. No good ever came from there’s something I want to ask you.
“For crying out loud, Sam, relax.”
“Hard to relax when my teeth are going to start chattering any minute.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll be quick. I’ve been thinking how hard it’s been for us to see each other lately, with you spending so much time in Burlington or commuting. And business at Stowe Away is picking up as ski season starts, so I’m going to be more unavailable too. And we are both miserable going days on end without seeing each other. So, I have a proposal. It’s not going to solve everything, but at the very least we could go to bed in each other’s arms every night.”
Much to her shock, Maria slid off her lap and onto one knee in the snow. She pulled a tiny box out of her coat pocket, and it made Sam’s heartbeat start pounding. Sure, they were in love, and she didn’t have any doubts about their relationship. But she wasn’t sure she was ready to be married just yet. Besides, she’d always thought she’d be the one doing the proposing.
“Sam, I wondered if you would take this ring,” Maria said, opening the box, “and cohabitate with me.” There was a ring in the box all right—a key ring.
Sam knit her eyebrows. “Wait, what? We already have keys to each other’s houses.”
“It’s more symbolic than anything else, Samantha. Any chance you could just laugh at the cute gesture and answer the bigger question? My knee is getting cold.”
Sam quickly pulled her to her feet and wiped the snow off her jeans. “But what about Eva and Pauly? And whose house—yours or mine? Or a new one entirely?”
“And this is what I get for falling for an overanalyzer. Forget all that for a minute, and just look at me. Do you want to move in together?”
Sam studied eyes she’d come to know so well, the curves of her favorite face in the world, the only lips she ever wanted to kiss. “Yes. Yes, of course. I would love to wake up in your arms every morning, and shower together, and just be where you are. Yes.”
“Good,” Maria said, pulling her close and kissing her gently. “Because I want all of that too. I spoke with Eva, and she’s fine with us moving in here, but she’d rather you two move in with me and Pauly. She said she doesn’t need constant reminders of Jack, and I offered to cordon off part of the basement as a studio for her. Pauly, as you can imagine, loves the idea. My only concern is whether Aphrodite and Zeus will get along with Hephe.”
Sam felt a bit blindsided. “You’ve had all these conversations without me?”
“Sam, darling, would you rather I waited until it even occurred to you to move in together, and then another six months while you worked up the courage to talk to your mom about it, and a few more months after that for you to figure out how to bring it up with me?”
She laughed. “Well, when you put it that way…Actually, I’m relieved about all of this. But are you sure Eva would be okay moving? What if she gets disoriented and needs the familiarity of her own home?”
“Yeah, that’s a good question. But she hasn’t been disoriented for a long time, and we can be mindful of things like that when we move you two in. We should combine furniture, so some of it’s hers, and hang pictures and art on the walls that make her feel at home. My old room has really just been sitting there since I found the courage to move into my parents’ room a few years ago. We can fill it with Eva’s things, and I think she’ll be very happy there.”
“I love that you would even think of all that—that you would, I don’t know, just make all this happen.”
“Well, moving doesn’t just happen. There’s the small matter of packing boxes, and I understand you are quite the packrat when it comes to trophies and awards you won in high school.”
“Oh God, packing. Let’s not even think about that right now. Let’s focus on how cute you are with this little proposal. And how much I love you.”
“And how cold it is out here—any chance we can take this party inside?”
“You know this outdoor rendezvous was your idea, right?”
“Seemed like a good idea when I thought of it by the fireplace at Stowe Away.”
Sam laughed, took her hand, and led her back into the basement. “I never even noticed the moon,” she said once they were inside. “Is it really full?”
“It’s breathtaking,” Maria said. They stood looking out the glass door, Sam behind Maria, her chin resting on Maria’s shoulder, gazing at the moonlight on the expansive backyard that reminded her of childhood. Life in this house had seen its ups and downs, for sure, and she would definitely feel nostalgic when it came to actually leaving.
Months ago, she’d committed to Maria with words like, “I love you,” and “this, forever.” But moving in together, especially consid
ering such a transition involved Eva and Pauly, cemented that commitment in a very material way. Eva would be less lonely, and Pauly would be on cloud nine, and everything would change. This wasn’t something she could just walk away from if she got a great opportunity at Johns Hopkins or something.
She kissed Maria’s ear, then her cheek, then her lips. Her life had seen a lot of changes from the path she’d mapped for herself years ago, and many of them weren’t of her choosing. But this change—this one she wanted with everything she had.
“You know what this means, don’t you?” She whispered into Maria’s ear. “You’re going to have to teach me how to cook.”
When Maria kissed her, Sam knew she was home in a way she’d never been before. “You’re on, Samantha Latham.”
ABOUT BLYTHE RIPPON
Blythe Rippon is the author of Barring Complications (GCLS finalist for best dramatic fiction) and the short story “S. Claus” in the holiday anthology Do You Feel What I Feel. She holds a PhD in the humanities and teaches academic writing to undergraduates. When not grading papers or imagining plots for future novels, she is usually holding forth about the political injustice of the day, hiking, or experimenting in the kitchen. She has lived all over the United States and at present can be found in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she lives with her wife and children.
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Website: https://sites.google.com/site/blytherippon/
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E-mail: [email protected]
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