by Jennie Marts
Oh geez. Her dad was a charmer. She could see her mom melting like butter in the hot sun right before her eyes.
“Oh, Ryan. You’re the one who hasn’t changed a bit.”
“I have. I feel older. My bones creak more when I move, and I’ve put on a few pounds.” He patted his gut, which didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on it. “I soak my sore muscles in the tub and take a lot more ibuprofen than I used to.”
Liz surveyed his flat stomach and obviously decided not to comment further on that subject. “Are you still riding? Doing the rodeo circuit?”
“When I can. I don’t ride much anymore. Somewhere along the way, a group of young kids came in and determined that I was now an ‘old’ guy. I still do the circuit and spend a lot of my time working with the new guys, teaching ’em what I know. If I call it ‘consulting’, it lets me charge ’em a little and makes me sound smarter.”
Liz shook her head. “Always working an angle.”
“Hey, it pays the bills.” He shrugged. “It’s a decent way to earn a living and makes me feel like I’m still part of the rodeo scene.”
Charlie watched the exchange between her parents, learning more by listening than participating in the conversation.
Her mom looked out over the farmyard. “So, you never got married again?”
“Nope, never had the inclination or found someone willing to put up with me. How ’bout you? Did you ever make it down the aisle again?”
“No. I never met anyone I wanted to marry. Besides, I couldn’t marry again, even if I wanted to.”
“Why not?”
“Because I ran off and changed my name, and I never filed for divorce.” Liz looked at him, as if waiting for that particular bit of news to sink in. She watched his face change to an expression of understanding.
“I never really put too much thought into it, but now that you mention it, I guess I never did sign any divorce papers.” He raised his eyebrows. “So, we’re still married?”
“I guess so.”
Holy shit. Shock raced through Charlie over her mother’s declaration, and the fact that she had rendered Ryan Tucker speechless. She watched her father process this bit of information. His face changed, as if in stages of understanding, like the different temperatures of cool as you sink into the depths of a lake.
He went from stunned to confused, to puzzled, then a slow, mischievous grin crossed his face. “Then I guess I don’t have to sleep on that crappy sofa in the bunkhouse again tonight. I can move in here with you, darlin’.”
She waited for Mt. Saint Elizabeth to erupt, but her mother surprised her by letting loose one of her rare bellows of laughter. A deep, throaty sound that made Charlie smile, and they all three broke into laughter.
Liz laughed so hard that she had to wipe a tear from her face. “Good try, but I don’t think so. You should just get used to that crappy sofa.”
He shrugged. “It was worth a shot.”
How odd to watch her parents fall into this role of easy banter and to hear her mother joking around. She wondered if this was how her life would have been, spending time with her parents, laughing and teasing each other.
She studied her mother. Everything about her seemed softer. Where was the anger and bitterness that Charlie was used to? Was it hiding in there somewhere, lying in wait, coiled in anticipation, watching for the perfect time to strike?
Her mother had been so hurt by this man that she’d picked up everything and gave up all connection with him for thirty years. She had been so angry that she’d caused him bodily harm, if the part about hitting Ryan in the head with a skillet were true.
Had her mother really just been looking for an excuse to escape the small town life and took advantage of the first opportunity that presented itself? Or had the years really lessened the pain and allowed her mother to forget the hurt, and instead focus on the joy of being with her first (and only, it would seem) true love?
Ryan stood up, breaking the spell each of them seemed to be under, embroiled in their own thoughts, processing this new information and the fact that they were all together again. “I better get back. Buckshot had a list of chores he needed my help with, and I’m sure he’s chomping at the bit to get started.”
Liz nodded. “Of course. Burning daylight, and all that.” She stepped back to allow him to pass by her on the porch.
Joy lifted her head, and Ryan patted the dog’s head as he walked by. “We’ll see you all later.”
“Charlie and I will put together some lunch. Bring the guys in around noon, and we’ll have something on the table.”
“Will do.”
She watched her father amble off across the yard and around the corner of the barn. She wanted to hold onto her anger and resentment, but it was hard when Ryan was so easy to like. But her mother had fallen prey to his charisma in the past and had still walked away.
Maybe she hadn’t seen his true colors yet, only the superficial outer layer of attraction. Maybe he would be like the other men in her life. Once she was sucked in, he would hurt her again, leaving her or not loving her enough to try to make a relationship work.
Maybe the answer was to not let herself get sucked in again. Had her subconscious been telling her that all along? Is that why she hadn’t called Zack back yet this morning or returned any of his text messages? Wouldn’t it be easier to step away now, guard her heart against the pain of betrayal and abandonment that was sure to come?
The return of her dad had memories of Stuart brewing in her thoughts and she found herself wary of offering up her heart again. Zack had been nothing but kind to her, which only made the thought of his possible rejection even worse. Was the pain of losing him worth the risk of letting him into her heart and taking a chance that he might leave?
As if he knew she were thinking of him, her cell phone vibrated. Pulling it from her pocket, she saw Zack’s name appear across the screen. She studied the green and red squares labeled “answer” or “decline”, then pushed the red one, silencing the call before sliding it back into her pocket.
Chapter Ten
Charlie tugged on her second pink cowboy boot and smoothed her dress over her knees. She crossed the room to check her reflection in the full-length mirror that sat in the corner of Gigi’s bedroom. Her bedroom. This was her bedroom now.
The dress she’d chosen was the one that Sophie had helped her pick out at The Lady Bug Dress Shoppe in town. She hadn’t seen the teenager, or her father, in the last week.
She finally returned Zack’s calls, deciding that her self-induced boycott was just being childish. He’d had a big job this week working with a local rancher, but he had invited her to accompany him and Sophie to Summer Celebration, the local festival surrounding the Fourth of July.
Her mom and dad seemed to have moved in, and she’d watched them circle and interact with each other in a strange mating dance of flirting and annoyance. Ryan was still camped out in the bunkhouse and had been a surprising help to Buckshot and Cash.
Charlie’s world had completely changed from the fast-paced life of the city to the slower speed of the country, as if the gears of her existence had taken a giant downshift. She went from a boyfriend who wore tailored suits and was tied to his Blackberry, to a man who pulled on Wranglers and cowboy boots and climbed into a pickup truck every morning.
Her diet had changed from catered and take-out food to the country fare of gravies and a biscuit with every meal. The expensive high heels and dry-clean-only silk blouses of the city had been replaced with machine washable cotton and denim and shoes that she had to stomp the dust off of before stepping into the house.
She studied herself in the mirror, looking for other changes. Her hair had grown out a good inch in the last month, and her skin had taken on the healthy glow of time spent in the sun. She hadn’t seen a gym in a month, yet her calf muscles still held their definition from walking across the pastures and holding herself upright in a saddle.
If only her heart had improved
with the changes in her appearance. She wanted so much to believe in Zack and take a chance on building a future with him. This week had been miserable with trying to tell herself she didn’t need him and aching to see his face and feel his arms around her.
She’d watched her dad this week, the man she had held bitterness toward her whole life, offer her mother kindness and forgiveness. Did she have those same qualities in her heart? Did she have that capacity to see her failed relationships as her past, and a life with Zack as her future?
Everything that she thought she knew seemed to be untrue, and the resentment toward her missing father now seemed like an unwarranted waste of time. The qualities that she assumed were in every man were now being challenged, and both Zack and the man she attributed those qualities to were proving them to be false. In Zack’s case, he was the parent who stayed, who showed devotion to his child with every peanut butter sandwich and good night kiss.
What happened to her philosophy of living in the moment and enjoying life as it came? Was it only a week ago that she was driving down the highway, brushing the hair from her face, holding hands with a gorgeous cowboy, and overflowing with happiness?
“Good morning, beautiful.” That gorgeous cowboy now stood in the doorway of her bedroom, standing behind her in the reflection of the mirror. She watched his image in the glass walk toward her and slide his arms around her waist, linking his hands, and burying his face in her hair.
Zack’s breath was warm on her neck, sending scrumptious shivers of pleasure down her spine as he spoke into her ear. “I’ve missed you.”
She closed her eyes and leaned back against his muscular chest. Live in the moment. Be happy right now. Let yourself fall in love.
She turned, spinning in his embrace, raising her arms to circle his neck and plunge her hands into his hair. “I missed you, too.” She pulled his head down, rising on her toes, anticipating the taste of his mouth, then moaning with pleasure as the warmth of his lips crushed against hers.
Giving herself to him, she let the passion of the emotions take her, and she kissed him. Letting the rest of the world slip away, she gave her whole focus to this instant, reveling in every sensation. The pressure of his hands clenching her back, the soft cotton of his T-shirt against the bare skin of her shoulders, the minty flavor of his mouth as he kissed her.
The effect she had on him was evident, and she ground her hips against his as his fingers skimmed up to her shoulders and slid the straps of her sundress down her arms.
“Oh, Zack.” His name was a whisper on her lips as she clutched his back. He laid hot kisses down her neck and along her shoulders, gently nipping her skin between his teeth.
Her inner muscles clenched with desire, and she knew he could have her dress pulled off in seconds. The image of her straddling him, wearing only her lace strapless bra and pink boots gave her a secret thrill.
The sound of a truck horn honking brought them out of their embrace, both gasping for breath, her hands trembling from the power of their hunger.
“That’s Sophie.” He reached to tuck in the shirt that she’d pulled free, anxious to get her hands on his skin. “We’d better go.”
“Yes, of course. I didn’t realize she was waiting.” She smoothed her dress and reached for the light denim jacket she’d found in Gigi’s closet.
Heading for the door, she turned as Zack grabbed her hand and pulled her back against his firm chest. His face pressed tight against her cheek, and he growled into her ear. “I want you naked and in my bed. Soon.”
She closed her eyes. Live in the moment. Don’t wait. Do it now. “How about tonight? After the dance? We can sneak away and find a place to be together.”
“It’s a date.” He kissed her once more, then squeezed her rear end before giving it a light slap. “Now, let’s get out of here before Sophie comes in and catches us making out.”
…
The music from the country band blared from the stage set up in the main building of the fairgrounds. The ten blocks leading up to the grounds had been cordoned off, and as the last of the 4H floats had wheeled by, the townspeople moved into the structure as if led by a country music pied-piper.
Charlie had loved standing on the sidewalk between Sophie and Zack. Gossiping with the teenager as she pointed out kids from school and laughing with Zack, the weight of his arm pleasantly heavy as it rested around her shoulder.
She reveled in the dirty looks coming from a few of the women, presumably the ones who’d been dropping off casseroles with hopes of snagging the hunky single dad. She waved at a few of the locals she knew who had passed by, catching a piece of bubblegum Cherry threw from the back of the diner’s float.
Zack took her hand now and led her out on the dance floor, easily moving to the music as he guided her around the mix of couples. The band switched to a slow song, and he pulled her against him, counting softly into her ear as he taught her the two-step.
Laughing as she stepped on his booted feet, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so good.
Zack seemed to be a tireless dancer, his natural rhythm allowing him to switch smoothly between two-stepping and spinning her around in the country swing.
“Can I cut in?” The deep timbre of a cowboy’s voice spoke from behind her, and Zack passed her off to Cash, then grabbed Sophie from the crowd and pulled his daughter onto the dance floor.
The two men were about the same height, and she wondered if they’d learned to dance around the same time, as their styles were remarkably similar. Cash pulled her close and spoke into her ear, his flirtatious words tickling her neck as they competed with the volume of the band. “You’re looking pretty sexy in those pink boots tonight.”
His words reminded her of the first time they’d met and her comparison of him to the big, bad wolf. She knew by now that flirting was second nature to him, but it no longer affected her. She’d found Zack, and he was the true hero in her story. “Thank you. You look pretty good yourself.”
Cash was a ridiculously handsome man. The white western shirt he wore stretched tight across his muscled chest, the color setting off his blue eyes and tanned skin. His dark hair poked out from under his black cowboy hat, thick and curling on the ends. He moved with a natural confidence and flashed her his panty-dropping smile.
“I mean it. That dress looks really good on you.” He pulled her tighter against him, sliding his knee easily between her legs as he moved her across the floor. “But it would look better off of you. And on the floor of my bedroom.”
The heady scent of his aftershave mingled with undertones of alcohol, telling her that he had already spent some time tonight in the Beer Garden. “Oh, stop it. You’re drunk.”
“Maybe, a little.” Cash laughed. “Okay, maybe a lot.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “I’m just saying. Anytime you’re ready to drop that sissy veterinarian for a real man, let me know. I can show you things that you never even dreamed of.”
She was fairly certain that was an accurate statement, but an evening with Cash would be a meaningless night. Albeit an exciting night filled with carnal lust, but meaningless just the same. And not worth the risk of losing the connection she had made with Zack. Her skin warmed at just the thought of the coming night, being with Zack, melding not only their bodies but their hearts.
“Not gonna happen, Cash. The only place I want your hands is working the farm. Zack is more than I ever could have dreamed of.” The song ended. She gave Cash a light peck on the cheek, then pulled away and turned to find Zack.
The smile fell from her face as she saw her parents across the crowded room, deep in conversation with Wayne, the railroad guy. What were they up to? Why were they talking to this guy?
She stomped her way across the room, her anger building with each step. Her temper was ready to boil over by the time she reached the table. “What do you think you’re doing? Why are you talking to him?”
“Hi, Charlie,” Wayne said, congenially. “I didn’t realize your pare
nts were in town. I’ve been trying to reach your dad for weeks.”
She couldn’t tell if he was actually being friendly or was cunning as a fox. “Why have you been trying to reach him? He doesn’t have anything to do with this. Gigi left the farm to me.”
Ryan stood up from his chair. “Simmer down there, girl. We were just talking.”
How dare he. She turned on her father, practically spitting her words at him. “Don’t tell me to simmer down. You don’t even know me.”
Years of resentment and hurt churned inside of her and spewed out like a poisonous fountain.
“Is this the real reason you’re here? Do you even care about me? Or my mom? Or did you just come back because you thought you could cash in on the farm now that Gigi is dead? Why weren’t you here when she fell down the stairs? Did you even care about her? Or have you just been waiting for her to die so you could sell off the land and collect the money?”
“Stop it, Charlie.” Elizabeth was on her feet, a protective hand on Ryan’s arm. “You’re going too far.”
Why was her mom standing up for this guy? Taking his side against hers. A ball of resentment and anger swirled inside of her. “Why are you sticking up for him? We haven’t seen him in thirty years, and suddenly he’s back and more important than me? Or is it all about the money for you too, Mom?” Might as well spread the nastiness around to everyone she could reach.
Her mother gasped at the ugly accusation, and she realized the room had gone silent. She turned to see the townspeople of Broken Falls all staring at her, some wearing looks of pride, but most of disappointment or embarrassment. The band had stopped playing, and the room held an uncomfortable layer of silence.
Humiliation overcame her, both for making a scene and for the horrid words she’d said. She glimpsed the lighted sign for the ladies’ restroom and turned to run for the door, knocking over a folding chair in her hurry to escape the stares of the crowd.
The door closed behind her. She leaned over the sink, afraid she was going to be sick, and splashed a handful of cool water on her heated cheeks. She peered at herself in the mirror, not sure if she would recognize the woman who had just disgraced herself in front of the whole town. Her face was red with anger and shame, and she rubbed at her cheeks with water-soaked fingers.