“I was hurting. That morning, everything changed in one split second. My mind raced with possibilities and dreams and anxieties. We’d never talked about having kids, not really, I mean at that point we’d talked about spending the rest of our lives together, but never really mapped anything out. After everything happened so fast with football…then we broke up…I found you with that other woman.
I went from having dreams of getting back together, and having a family, to feeling absolutely lost. I felt so broken. I couldn’t feel normal. All I could feel was grief and despair and anger. But the guilt, the guilt was…is… crushing. Shayla tried repeatedly to get me to talk to you, but the more time that passed the harder it was to say anything. You had moved on…and never looked back.” Tears broke over her lashes. She grumbled tersely, “I was so angry at you…you got to move on…and I was stuck in the black hole of despair.”
“I tried to see you, Carrie Ann…for a long time. I tried.” He paused, continuing in a shallow telling breath, “I wasn’t left any choice. I was forced to move on.”
“The months that followed…they seem like a blur to me now.”
“I remember them clearly.”
“I should have shared it with you. I refused to give myself permission to grieve. Somewhere deep inside…a tiny part of me felt relief. Every time I tried to tell myself that it happened for a reason…that she…we…just weren’t meant to be, I was consumed with shame. I was so angry for months, furious at the world…at you…at my family. I was even mad at my mother for not being there when I needed her.” Carrie Ann’s voice cracked. “I felt completely alone. I alienated myself from everyone except—”
“Does your father know?”
“Yes. He was home when it happened, but it’s not like we discussed it. He can barely talk to me about normal topics. But, Shayla never left my side.”
His face hardened to stone as an apprehensive shroud clouded his eyes.
“Please don’t be upset with Shayla. She pleaded with me to talk to you about it. She has for ten years, even yesterday.”
“I’m not upset with Shayla.” Slowly, his focus seemed to drift back into reality.
In a slow revolution, he rolled her onto her back. His hands were everywhere, showering her with tender caresses. His breath swept over in a sweet burn, pressing delicate kisses to her cheeks and eyes. Summer eased his mouth over hers. The heat and hardness of his erection grew against her thigh, but he paid it no attention, seeming perfectly content showering her with pure love.
“Red?” He pulled back, gazing into her eyes. Their deep level of connection, vivid in the pale moonlight. “I’d like to give you something.”
A curious smile tipped the corner of her mouth. “What do you want to give me?”
“A little girl.”
All of the pain and hurt that had been woven around her heart for so long began to disintegrate. His suggestion was completely genuine and sincere. An overwhelming swell of love prickled every far frayed corner of her heart. “She doesn’t have to be a girl. Boys would be wonderful too.”
“Plural. I like that. Maybe one of each,” he paused, releasing a low groan as she tilted her hips, readily taking him in, unsheathed, skin on skin. Fears and flesh yielding to the love of Summer as a dreamlike state of happiness filled her to the core. “I realize you’re on birth control, and I don’t want to pressure you, but you can stop taking them whenever you’re ready.”
In a room full of darkness the world around her had never shined more brightly.
*
“Remind me again. Why did we have to come back to California?” she questioned, sitting at a dead stop in LA traffic in his new, updated version of Big Dirty. The shiny new Range Rover that wasn’t big or dirty but it was definitely bad-ass.
“I have a thing—”
“You have a very nice thing,” Carrie Ann giggled.
He leaned across the void between the seats. His eyes turned dark and hot with caution, sinking his teeth into her bare shoulder. “Red, you’d better be careful. You’re treading on thin ice.”
Her eyes gleamed, unable to contain her laughter. “Or what? Do tell.”
“The rear seats fully recline…and have a built in massage function. Just think, I could be working you over from the front while getting a massage from the back. It’d be like another set of hands.”
“One set of hands is more than plenty.”
“Damn straight.”
An hour later he pulled into her drive and cut the motor. Carrie Ann slipped her fingers over his forearm. She drew in a deep relaxing breathe. “So where do we go from here?”
“Home, Red. We go home. We’re going to walk through that door, pack up your things, slap a For Sale sign in the yard and go home.”
“It’s a rental.”
“Even better. Consider your rent paid for the remainder of your lease.”
“I really need to handle a few things. Catch up on emails, work, call Sara and Shayla.” She hesitated ruefully, adding with a grumble, “Plus, have a chat with my dad. Which I should probably do in person.”
“Red, you’re gonna need to learn how to micromanage being ravished by me on a daily basis, while working and having more fun than you’ve ever had in your life, plus romantic dinners, social events and all the other necessities of life. Unfortunately, that will also include the media and paparazzi. But I plan on waking up beside you in bed from now on. I don’t care who tries to stand in our way or what we have to go through. So, if you think I’m leaving you here for the night, or a week, or whatever you expected…you’re wrong.” Before she could respond, he added, “If this isn’t what you bargained for then now’s your time to speak up.”
“I’ll make a pot of coffee.”
A frown wove between his brows.
“For packing,” she clarified with a flirty smile. “And for the record I won’t need to micromanage your ravishing. I gladly welcome it.”
“Good thing,” he touted in a tone of authority.
“Oh, it’s a damn good thing.”
It took a few hours to make a dent in her belongings. They filled every piece of luggage and laundry hamper, loading her favorites into his Rover and her Cadillac. They left the rest for movers.
“Should we stop by and see your father?”
“No.” The reply whooshed out so fast it sounded panic-stricken. Her relaxed mood instantly shifted to dread. “Did you really need to kill the euphoric buzz I had going?”
“Let’s just say, you should probably check your text messages.” His warning raised the hair on her arms. “I’d be happy to come with you. Act as a buffer. I’m sure it won’t be an easy conversation.”
“Summer, this isn’t a pissing match between the two of you.” The deep indention between his troublesome eyes indicated his disbelief. “I can handle my dad, now.”
“Carrie Ann, I’m sure you can take care of yourself, but your father wields a mighty sword and has a degree in Master Manipulator of people. You included. Hell, there was even a time when I cowered to his power,” he admitted grimly. His quiet voice blistered with annoyance. “But he will never hold court or judgement over me again.”
Irritably she yanked the front door open, spinning to face him. He snatched hold of the door before it knocked into the wall. She glanced up at him sharply, but her petulance turned to butter when he pulled her resistant body into a tight clinch. His golden irises set fire to her soul, warming her all the way to her toes, hitting her with an endearing, lopsided grin. “Red, we’re not going to let him get between us. Don’t make me rip off your clothes to put a smile back on your face.”
“You started it.”
“You’re right. I did. I’d prefer to get it over with, so we can go about our life together. With or without his approval. If he thinks he’s got one, tiny fissure of space to exploit, he’ll sniff it out and turn it into a three foot gap.”
Reaching up, her hands traced along the dense muscles of his shoulders. “Summer,
as much as I hate to admit this, I just need a bit of time to strategize before seeing him. I don’t let him push me around anymore, but I want to handle it the right way. He’s gonna have to come to terms with my decisions and I’d like to think that he’d come to love you…and you him…if nothing more than for the fact that it would make me happy.”
Summer’s expression softened. He held her secure, reassuring her with small squeezing rotations to the tight muscles of her nape. “You’re right. Maybe we should see him separately.”
“Separately? Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I don’t—”
“I’m not going to take any shit from your father this time. Not ever again. He can ignore me, or hate me, or treat me however he wants, but I won’t allow him to intimidate you or whatever the fuck else runs through his calculated mind.” Summer paused. “And it’s not because I think you’re too fragile to handle your father, it’s because if he thinks he’s going to mistreat you for any reason…he’s going to have to come through me.”
Carrie Ann had heard her fair share of colorful threats and promises, growing up in the backseat of her father’s town car should’ve required headphones, but at that moment, she’d never felt more cherished and protected. His mouth dragged gently along her throat, probing for her response.
“I’ll talk with him on the phone, for now, and make arrangements for lunch or dinner.”
Their gazes caught. His left brow arched to a point. “Face it, Red. You’re a procrastinator when it comes to confrontations, especially when it involves getting things off your chest. I don’t want…I would be grateful…if the issue doesn’t get drug out for a month. Deal?”
“Deal. In the near future.”
The long drive to Summer’s secluded Malibu hilltop home gave Carrie Ann over an hour of travel time to make the dreaded phone call. It took two unanswered calls to Shayla and Sara, and twenty minutes of complete silence, cocooned in the confines of her car, to prep for the next call. Hands wringing wet and clinging to the steering wheel, she pushed the talk button, dialing her father.
It didn’t even make it through the second ring, before hearing her father’s gravelly voice on the other end of the line, excusing himself from a conversation. “I’ve got to take this call. That sounds like a perfect place to settle the score. I’ll see you on the course at seven Sunday morning.”
Carrie Ann broke into his conversation, “Do you want to call me back?”
“No, no. I’m here, just finishing up a meeting,” he assured brusquely. She heard the sound of his office door clicking shut. “Are you home from your vacation now?”
“Hi to you too.” She attempted to keep a calmness to her tone, prepping for his eruption. “Yes, we just got back a few hours ago.”
“I’m not sure what’s in that head of yours, Carrie Ann. I thought you were finished with that boy years ago. I’ve been worried about you. I get a phone call from you a week ago, stating that you’re running off on…some sort of private vacation, and that you’d be unavailable for a week or two.” His controlled seething bordered on shouting. She envisioned his full face turning a deep shade of purple. “Then I get a text from that useless excuse of an ex-boyfriend of yours, telling me that you’d been drugged at the auction. That son-of-bitch had the nerve to tell me you were in good hands and that you’d be home when there was a break in the weather.”
“Some of that’s true,” she interjected, her tone set firm. “Except the part about Summer being useless or a son-of-a-bitch or my ex-boyfriend. I’m so glad you’re more concerned about my relationship with Summer than the fact that someone drugged me. I really…”
“What makes you think it wasn’t that boy who drugged you? I spoke with Jason and…”
“Excuse me? I’m warning you, Dad. Don’t you dare imply that Summer had anything to do with that.”
“Warning me?”
Fighting off the intimidation in his tone, she squared her shoulders. “Yes, you heard me correctly. Considering that I only drank a few glasses of champagne, which Jason happened to hand to me, I think he’s the one who has some explaining to do.”
“Are you insinuating that Jason Calver put something in your drink? I’ve known his parents…”
“I’m not insinuating anything, Dad. You’re the lawyer. You tell me.”
“That man comes from a good family, Carrie Ann.”
“I don’t care where he comes from. All I’m saying is that I’ve got a few questions for Jason.”
The sound of a pen tapping on her father’s desk ricocheted through her car. “If you’ve got questions for Jason they should come through me. I’ll make reservations and the three of us can go to dinner to discuss what happened.”
“Dad, I’m not asking you to get involved. I won’t be going to dinner with Jason whether it’s to ask him questions or for any other reason. I’m not accusing him of anything. I simply need to talk with him and I’m sure Summer will be with me when I do.”
“You can’t be serious about starting things back up with him? You’re making a mistake…”
“The only mistake I’ve ever made was never giving him a chance to explain himself ten years ago.”
His criticism was cut short by a sharp breath of air he seemed to be choking on.
Taking full advantage of his rare silence, she advised, “I want you to know, I’m moving in with Summer. Tonight. You should probably come to terms with it, Dad, because he’s not going anywhere.”
“Come to terms with it?” Bitterness hung in his deep baritone like a dense layer of fog on a California June-gloom misty morning.
“Yes. I love him. I always have.” On a courageous high, she continued, “One more thing, Dad. You might want to consider your words carefully from now on. If you’re going to act like judge and jury, throwing down a sentence, reprimanding him for his stock, you might want to consider the fact that your future grandchildren will come from his genes.”
*
The prime piece of celebrity real estate perched atop a mountain provided sprawling 360-degree views of the ocean, mountains and canyons. Carrie Ann nearly stumbled from the car, devouring the stunning sight of the city lights twinkling like diamonds in the dark canyons below.
With less than five-thousand square feet of living space, the secluded Malibu hilltop home was modest in size, yet a mansion by any standards. Set on eleven acres, the modern, earth-toned home made of concrete, disappeared into the rough natural landscape.
Aspen bolted past, ears slicked back, happy to be on her normal stomping grounds. Summer’s long muscular arms slipped around her waist. He nuzzled her ear as she stood at the edge of the drive, staring in awe.
“So you like it?” His lips brushed the shell of her ear as she nodded. “Wait till you see the inside.
“Your place is so remote.”
“It’s a bit of a drive for Starbucks, but I think it’s worth it.”
“I’d say. Who needs a venti caramel macchiato? This view requires enjoying your favorite cup of coffee while snuggling under the covers. It’s breathtaking.”
“You’re gonna be breathless when I get you inside.” The scrape of his stubble tickled her neck before indulging in a nibble. “Seriously, Red, I know it’s going to be a commute for you every day. If it’s something we need to change, then we will. We can live wherever. I want you to be happy.”
“I think I can handle it. Truthfully, I can do most of my work from my computer. I’ve always preferred to go to the office every day because it’s part of my routine and gets me out of the house.” She twisted in his embrace, molding her front to his, staring into his eyes. “However, my tastes have changed recently.”
“Your tastes have changed? Hmm?”
His chest lifted and lowered as a sinful glaze set fire to his eyes. One hand threaded into the hair at her nape, the other slid along the underside of her jaw. Clasping her fingers to his waist, she raised to her toes, hitching her hips, cradling his erection. The heat of his ragged breath fanned across
her face. Summer coasted his thumb across her lower lip, tugging gently to open her mouth. Carrie Ann sensually slipped her tongue around his thumb, sucking it into the wet heat.
Their mouths came together. His lips locked to hers, each desperately feasting off the other, as if fearing the moment of promise was too good to be true. He worked her over in an openmouthed kiss, hungry and white hot, until her knees began to give. With little effort, he hooked an arm beneath her legs, carrying her toward the front door. Slinging her arms around his neck, she giggled, snuggling into the curve of his neck.
Pulling his phone from his pocket, Summer entered numbers, a code, to unlock the massive front door. Interior lights automatically turned on, illuminating the white walls and design work of forged wrought iron and frosted glass.
“That’s pretty nifty,” her tone mocking.
“I’m gonna give you something nifty in about ten minutes.” Pressing the thick iron handle, Summer opened the door. A small timid smile touched his lips as he stepped over the threshold. “I should’ve done this years ago.”
Aspen agreed with a bark, circling his legs. He moved so swiftly, Carrie Ann could hardly take in the sunken open living space sparsely furnished with cream-colored sofas and exquisite natural wood tables. The cozy design resembled a rustic version of contemporary art.
Making their way past the dining room, she glimpsed a pool and spa beyond a full wall of frameless glass. Ryan Summer had found his way and was leaving a mark on society. He’d grown up thriving to be his best. No exceptions. No excuses. A sort of profound pride, rooted into the very core during his youth. Football had shown him the road to achieve greatness. It had been a stepping stone, a building block, to the man he was now. His treasures burrowed far deeper than things of monetary value, those were merely the shell of an amazing man.
A cold ache began to settle heavily on her chest, inundated with feelings of loss and regret. “I can’t help but feel like I’ve missed out on so much over the last decade. Time, so much time, that we’ll never get back. I would’ve loved to have been a part of your life.”
Lowering her bum on the granite counter, he brushed long, lingering strokes up and down her arms. Diffused lighting exposed the seriousness held in his eyes. “I feel the same way, but fate has a way of working things out. You probably would’ve never dreamed up the Bare Your Soul campaign for the Have a Heart Foundation. Think of the millions of dollars you’ve raised in honor of your mom. And surely, I would’ve never been an actor. Looking back, I’d like to think I would’ve been successful at something, but my career has opened so many doors for me…including a window into a much more grounded me. I identify with myself on a deeper level now. Everything I’ve been through has made me a better man…and you deserve the best version of me that I can possibly give you, Red.”
A Taste of Summer Page 23