Hannah's Choice

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Hannah's Choice Page 19

by Jan Drexler


  Adam’s stomach churned. To keep up the ruse of a simple farm boy, he’d have to invite them home for supper, but he couldn’t risk that. He wouldn’t be surprised if Ma had invited Bill, Ruby, and the rest of them into the house for their supper instead of bringing it to them in their safe hiding place.

  “It . . . it’s quite a ways to the farm. The family will have eaten everything by the time we get there. Ma’s not expecting me tonight . . . but . . . I wanted to see . . .” Adam cleared his throat. “Well, there’s this girl.” He looked at their faces. Hiram and Red Shirt looked at each other and guffawed.

  “Maybe we should come with you to meet this girl, eh?” Hiram winked.

  Adam felt his face heating and breathed slowly to beat down the anger.

  Red Shirt guffawed again. “Looky there! He’s blushing. She must be a pretty one.”

  Hiram pulled at the reins of his horse, turning back toward Lancaster. “Aw, come on. I’m too hungry to waste time with the farmer. Let’s get supper. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

  As the hoofbeats faded, Adam let the heavy sack down and sat on it, his knees trembling. He took off his hat and ran his hands through his hair, soaked with perspiration. Close calls or not, he didn’t want to live through that again.

  The sun dipped closer to the horizon as he sat, throwing the road into dusky shadows. Adam shouldered his sack of meal again and continued on his way, listening for returning riders every step of the way.

  Lamplight glowed from the kitchen windows as he approached the farmhouse, but before going in, he opened the barn door and examined the interior as a stranger would. No light shone anywhere. There was no sign someone might be here. He dropped the barley meal next to the door, and then lit the lantern. He paced from one side of the big barn floor to the other, looking for any clue, anything out of place. He could see nothing. Were they even here? Did Hannah make it home with them?

  With a sudden clenching, he had to see for himself. He hung the lantern from its hook on a post and pushed the carriage out of the way. Shoving straw away with his feet, he found the hidden handle and pulled. The hole was dark and quiet, but Adam could smell the burned tallow from the doused candle.

  “Bill? It’s Adam. Are you all there? Is everyone all right?”

  A scratch of a match, and light filled the cellar. Bill stood at the bottom of the ladder, a candle in his hand, the others behind him.

  “Yes sir, we’re all right. Is it time to go?”

  “Not yet. Those slave hunters aren’t giving up, and they know where the station is. You’ll all have to wait here a couple more days. Do you think that will be all right?”

  Bill looked at Ruby and the others. Ruby nodded her head once.

  “I reckon so, Mister Adam. It’ll be cramped, but nothing like sleeping in a swamp.”

  Adam nodded. “We’ll try to find some safe way for you to spend time up here in the barn, or in the house, but I can’t promise.”

  “That’s all right. We’re grateful for a warm, dry bed and plenty of food.”

  “Ma made sure you got your supper?”

  “Oh, yes sir, she sure did. Your ma’s one good cook.”

  Adam smiled. “I’ll tell her you said so. I need to close the door now and set everything to rights. I’ll check on you again later, all right?”

  “That’ll be fine.” Bill nodded. “That’ll be fine.”

  Adam closed the trap door and covered it again, pushing the carriage back into place. Putting the lantern back by the door, he blew it out and shouldered the meal sack once more. What would Ma say when she saw what he brought home? They’d have barley cakes for breakfast for weeks.

  The sack made his footsteps heavy on the porch, and Pa swung the door open before he reached it.

  “You’re late, son. We were worried.”

  As Pa took the sack from his shoulders, Ma stepped forward to grab him in a hug. He looked over her shoulder. Hannah. Hannah was sitting at the table, her face blotchy in the lamplight, a twisted handkerchief in her hands.

  She had waited for him, and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

  Charles jumped up between him and Hannah. Adam let go of Ma to grab his brother’s shoulders in a tight squeeze. “Where have you been, Adam? Hannah said there were slave hunters. Did they catch you? What happened?”

  “Ja, there were slave hunters on the road.” Adam sat down on the long bench next to Hannah. If he looked at her, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He’d take her in his arms right there in front of Ma and everybody. “But they didn’t know I had any connection with our passengers, so I was safe.”

  “Why were you gone so long, then?” Hannah pressed close to him as she asked her question, laying her hand on his sleeve.

  “I overheard them say they had heard about the Penningtons and had destroyed the hiding place.”

  Ma gasped. “Are they all right?”

  “They’re fine, although Jess was bandaged up. Those slave hunters must be new at their job, though. They found the Penningtons’ root cellar and thought they had destroyed the station when they wrecked it. And all day they rode up and down the roads, looking for our passengers, not knowing they would never use public roads.” He looked at Pa. “They’re out there tonight too. We’ll need to keep the people here until they’ve left the area.”

  Pa nodded. “That sounds like a good idea. We’ll just lay low.”

  Hannah rose from the bench. “I need to get home. Mamm and Daed will be worried about me, since it’s already dark.”

  “I’ll walk you home.” Adam stood. His feet were sore from all the miles he had already walked today, but he couldn’t let Hannah go off alone, not with those strangers around.

  The moon had risen, casting a white light over the fields. As Adam closed the door behind them, he listened, but he couldn’t hear any hoofbeats. He gave Hannah his arm and led her toward the road, the shortest way from his house to hers. He could feel the light press of Hannah’s arm against his own. Could hear her breathing, could smell the lye soap her clothes had been washed with.

  How could he think of anything else when Hannah was next to him?

  She broke the silence. “I was worried about you.”

  “I hurried home as quickly as I could.” He grasped her hand where it rested in the crook of his elbow. “I was worried about you too. Wondering if you had made it here safely. The only comfort I had was that if the slave hunters were still out there, that meant they hadn’t found you.”

  They walked in silence, and then Hannah asked, “If we married, this is what our lives would be like, isn’t it? A hiding place in our barn for runaway slaves, you out somewhere barely escaping from danger, and me at home, wondering if you’ve been caught or not.”

  Her words ended in a sob, and Adam turned, taking her in his arms. He waited until her crying stopped and she pulled away to wipe her nose on her handkerchief.

  “I can’t promise you there won’t be more days like this one.”

  She shook her head. “I know they will only get worse. More groups of people needing your help, more slave hunters . . . smarter slave hunters.”

  “But we’ll be working together. Think what that means, Hannah, to dedicate our lives to helping other people.”

  She sniffed, playing with the buttons on the front of his coat while he waited. She had to see the future he could see so plainly.

  “I’ll have to think about it, Adam. I . . . I know it would help people, but I just can’t imagine what my life would be like, living that way.”

  “You know that if your family moves west, staying here with me will be the best thing for you.”

  They walked on until they reached the edge of the porch. Adam could hear her family inside the house. They were waiting for her. He turned her toward him and lifted her chin with one finger until she was looking into his eyes.

  “You know what I want, Hannah. Say you’ll be my wife. Say you’ll stay here on the Conestoga with me.”
>
  In the light from the window, he could see her eyes filling with tears.

  “I can’t say that, Adam. I can’t.”

  From the dark recesses near the barn door, a man cleared his throat. “I know why she can’t say that.”

  He walked closer to the house. Josef Bender.

  Adam put his arm around Hannah’s shoulder, but she slipped away, standing between him and Josef.

  “Good evening, Josef. I didn’t know you were here.”

  He smiled at Hannah, but returned his hard gaze to Adam. “I can see that. Guten Abend, Herr Metzler. I think you are surprised to see me, also, ja?”

  Hot anger rose suddenly, turning Adam’s stomach. Jealousy, exhaustion, and worry all rolled into one hot, churning ball.

  “What are you doing here, Bender?”

  “I come to visit Hannah, and then I find her in another man’s arms. I think I should be asking you the question of what you are doing.”

  Adam glanced at Hannah. She looked from him, to Josef, and back again. She wanted him to leave.

  “Hannah was helping me this afternoon and spending time with my mother and sister. I was thanking her.”

  “By asking her to marry you?”

  “Stop it.” Hannah stepped closer to Josef. “You are both acting like little boys. I have not said I would marry either one of you. You need to settle your differences, or I’ll ask you both to leave.”

  Adam turned to Hannah, ignoring Josef Bender. “Denki, Hannah. You were a great help today.”

  “Don’t ask me to do that again, Adam.” She looked at him, her eyes pleading. “I . . . I can’t go through that waiting and worrying again.”

  Beyond Hannah, Josef shuffled his feet, but Adam refused to include him in this conversation. He reached for Hannah’s hand, leading her away from Josef. He bent his head close to hers. “If I promise to keep you safe . . .”

  “All the promising in the world won’t help if something goes terribly wrong.”

  Adam moved away. Nothing would go wrong. “I’ll see you again, though?”

  “Ja.” She looked down at her feet. “We’re friends, aren’t we? Of course we’ll see each other again.”

  Adam backed away, then turned and started for home. Leaving Hannah with that Josef Bender . . . it was harder than anything he had ever done. But he could tell, looking into her eyes, she wasn’t his.

  22

  Hannah stood silently next to Josef as they listened to Adam’s footsteps grow fainter.

  “What brings you to the Conestoga this evening, Josef?” Hannah’s voice was strained, and she cleared her throat.

  “I came on an errand for Daniel and to see you.” His voice was harsh. “But it looks like that was a wasted trip, perhaps.”

  “I told you, Adam is a friend.”

  “A friend who asks you to marry him is a bit more than a friend.” Josef bit his words off in crisp chunks. “And what was it you helped him with? Was it so important that he would put you in danger?”

  A lump rose in her throat. Adam’s work was important, but she still resented his assumption that she would be as enthusiastic as he was. When it came to this mission of his, she seemed to fade into the background. She was only another tool for him to use to accomplish the task.

  “It’s nothing you need to worry about. This is between Adam and me.”

  “Hannah . . .” Josef’s voice dropped to a whisper and he took her in his arms. She relaxed into his embrace, hungry for his strength and protection. “I didn’t come all this way to quarrel with you.” He partly released her, keeping one hand around her waist. With the other hand he tilted her chin up. In the dim light from the house, his face was tender, pleading.

  She nodded. “You’re right. We won’t quarrel. Does the family know you’re here?”

  “Ne.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I had just stabled the horse when I heard someone coming down the lane.”

  “Then we must go in. I know Daed will be pleased to see you.”

  Hannah’s late return was forgotten when she walked into the house with Josef.

  Daed rose from his seat to greet him with a hug. “Josef, it’s so good to see you again. What brings you this far?”

  “Daniel had some questions about our journey west, so he sent me to discuss them with you and Elias.”

  Mamm handed Josef a cup of tea. “And how long will you be able to stay with us?”

  Josef caught Hannah’s eye as they all seated themselves around the table. “Daniel doesn’t expect me to return before Monday evening. I came early to spend the Sabbath with you, if that is all right.”

  Daed took the cup of tea Mamm gave him. “Tomorrow is a home Sabbath. We’ll go to the Hertzlers’ first thing on Monday.”

  “Did you walk from Ephrata again?” Jacob leaned forward.

  “Ne. Daniel had me take the horse. Riding is much faster than walking and he wanted to be sure I’d get home on time.”

  After evening prayers, the conversation turned to the trip west, with Josef just as excited as Daed and Jacob. Hannah put William to bed, and then sent Margli and Peter to their beds as the evening got later. Liesbet followed them up to their room, yawning as she went.

  When Hannah came back into the kitchen after saying good night to Margli, Josef was speaking.

  “I hope to have enough money saved to buy a quarter section, if there’s one available.”

  “A quarter section?” Jacob took a cookie from the plate Mamm had gotten out while Hannah was upstairs. “One hundred sixty acres is a lot of land to clear.”

  “But it will be worth it, as long as the prices stay low.” Josef took a bite from his own cookie. “And I don’t have to clear the entire section at once. I’ll work on forty acres to start with, and I can always sell some of the land to another settler if I need to.”

  Daed nodded. “That sounds like a good plan. By the time you may need to sell, prices will probably be higher.”

  Josef smiled at Hannah as she took a place at the table and pushed the plate of cookies closer to her. “I hope we’ll be able to find land near each other, Brother Christian, and near the Hertzlers, also.”

  “I hope there’s still land available in the same area where the families settled last year. A strong community can start with only a few, can’t it?”

  “And what about you, Jacob? Will you be buying your own land, or go in with your vater?”

  Jacob’s eyes lit up. “I hadn’t thought I would buy my own land, but if it’s not expensive, I could buy some acres next to Daed.”

  Hannah yawned as the men started discussing the type of trees they would find, and how likely it was to buy land with water available. Her day had been long and stressful, and morning was going to come very early.

  “I must say good night,” she said to Mamm. The men didn’t notice as she slipped up the stairs.

  Hannah went to bed, exhausted. But once she climbed into bed with Liesbet, sleep refused to come. Josef Bender was here, and he had come to see her. But he wouldn’t consider staying along the Conestoga. From his conversation with Daed and Jacob, he had forgotten that was her plan. He had his heart set on moving west.

  What was it about adventure and new frontiers that drew men so strongly?

  Indiana wasn’t a settled place, like home. There would be trees to clear, a house to build, a barn and other outbuildings to put up. Josef would need to clear stumps before a crop could be planted. And where would they find a cow and chickens? What would they eat once the supplies were all gone?

  And there were other dangers. Illness, Indian attacks, lawless men, wild animals . . . And yet Daed expected to take his family there and have a good life? Josef thought the two of them could start their housekeeping in a place like that? What would happen when children came along?

  But on the other hand, when Josef held her in his arms . . . The thought alone banished all those fears. She sank into the memory of his kiss, his strong arms, his comfortable embrace . . .

>   Liesbet shifted, bringing Hannah back to wakefulness. Her sister got out of the bed, putting on her shoes.

  “Where are you going?” Hannah whispered so she wouldn’t wake Margli.

  Liesbet jumped. “I’m . . . I’m going out to the privy.”

  “In the dark?” Hannah turned over, anxious to get back to her thoughts of Josef. “Why don’t you just use the chamber pot?”

  “I’d rather go out to the privy than have to clean the pot in the morning.”

  “Whatever you choose. Just don’t wake me up when you come back in.”

  She tried to bring back the memory of Josef’s embrace, but as she descended into sleep, it was Adam’s confident arms that filled her mind. He held her close, too close, his hand over her mouth as riders thundered by. She saw the whips tied to their saddles, the dark horses galloping. And then Adam left her, covered with hay, crouched in a wagon bed, trundling down a road. Ruby held her hand, but the other woman’s eyes were closed as she repeated “Help us, Jesus,” over and over.

  The hay sank down onto them, covering Ruby, pushing between the two of them. She lost Ruby’s hand just as a baby started crying. Hannah pushed at the hay, trying to find the baby. Someone had to help it, but no one else was there. She stood up in the wagon, pushing away the hay. Adam was driving. He could help her. But when she finally got past the hay, the driver turned to her, his face leering. It was the slave catcher—they were captured!

  Hannah sat up in bed, still breathing hard. It was just a dream, wasn’t it? Only a dream.

  She turned to lie back down, and then she noticed. Liesbet hadn’t returned.

  Closing her eyes, she tried to will herself back to sleep, but a part of her listened for Liesbet’s step in the hall. Finally, she rose and went downstairs. The house was quiet, the fires banked. Looking out the window toward the privy, she could see no light from the little building at the edge of the yard, no figure walking back to the house.

  The clock struck the hour. One o’clock. Liesbet had been gone for more than two hours. Hannah wiggled her toes, trying to keep them warm. Had she gone off to meet with George again? Whatever she was doing, it was a stupid and thoughtless thing to wander off into the night, and on such a cold night too.

 

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