by L. B. Dunbar
When Gage finishes, he’s on an adrenaline rush from being on the stage and the energy high of the crowd. It takes a while before he gets to me.
“That was amazing,” I tell him as he wraps me in his arms and tugs me against him. His body nearly vibrates with the endorphins flowing through him.
“That was fucking amazing,” he calls over the crowd who have returned to their enrapture of the Nights. His mouth finds mine, and he kisses me. Hard. It isn’t our typical kiss, and it both frightens and thrills me. This is the person he’s meant to be. A rock star. “Let’s get out of here.”
This request surprises me. “Are you sure?” I scan the crowd around us. We’ve lost Jared and Petty somewhere.
“I need you alone,” he growls when he leans forward for my ear. I nod and follow his lead as he surrounds me, tucking me into his side to get us through the audience.
When we arrive back at the penthouse, we’re hardly inside my bedroom, door slamming, and Gage is on me. His mouth on mine. His hands in my hair. Kissing me harder than normal.
“Gage,” I mutter against his lips. Something in my voice draws him back, and he swipes his fingers through his longer hair.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, gorgeous. I’ll slow down.” He cups my cheek, taking a deep breath and then returning to my mouth. Softer. Gentler. I’m surprised to find I prefer this side of him. I’m the one who normally pushes us, wanting us to speed forward, but I’m still reeling from what he said.
I’m not having sex with you until you marry me.
He can’t be serious. Marry him? Is he crazy? This isn’t his child although he made that ridiculous statement—which is sounding less ridiculous every day—while kissing my belly. Social media has been blowing up, speculating if the baby bulge is his. Is this his plan? Does he want me to pretend it is?
I’m wrestled from my thoughts when he spins me so I’m facing the wall. “Now where were we?” He returns us to a position similar to what we were in the bathroom. His hands quickly lift my dress and pull it over my head. Two hands skim down my back and then his fingers hook in my thong. He slips the thin material over my backside, and I wiggle until it hits the floor. Another article of clothing meets mine, and when his warm chest hits my back, I realize he’s shirtless.
Both his hands cover my belly, outlining my body as they climb to my breasts. He cups the weight of each and squeezes them together.
“I want to fuck these tits,” he mutters into my neck, and heat pools between my thighs. He’s so dirty at times, and I love it. I love…no, I can’t feel this way. He pinches my nipples, and I arch my back, meeting the firm ridge beneath his jeans. Releasing one breast, he reaches for his belt buckle. This is it, I decide. He’s finally going to take me and rid us both of the torture. We’ll get each other out of our systems, and he’ll forget this ridiculous notion to marry me.
His fingers on my breast lower until they come between my thighs. He dips one into me at the same time the tip of his dick slips through the seam of my ass.
“Gage,” I warn, not ready for anything entering areas unpracticed. He doesn’t answer me as he draws the tip lower, bending me forward like he did in the bathroom earlier. As his fingers stroke at my clit, he rubs the head through my folds, and I’m so close. I want him inside me. I want him to finally fill me. I shift, bringing him right to the entrance.
“Be a good girl, Ivy,” he hisses, holding himself back from entering me.
“I want you so badly,” I say, and he rolls his forehead on my shoulder.
“Not yet, baby. Not until we marry.”
I choke-laugh, my eyes rolling up to the ceiling. Not this again.
“Gage,” I huff.
“One day, gorgeous, my dick is going to be slick from that sweet pussy, and you’re going to let me in and let your pussy love my dick until there is no beginning or end to us. Only us, Ivy. You and me. And love. I’m going to give it all to you, and you’re going to take it.”
Can’t. Breathe.
He slips himself under me, coating the thick length with my wetness. I’m practically dripping, and then he teases me with the head at my entrance again.
“Come, gorgeous. Come over me.” I scream into my palm as I explode so hard stars dance before my eyes. Gage quickly pulls back and releases on my lower back.
Damn, he’s such a naughty man, but I love…Not this again, I tell myself.
Gage chuckles into my shoulder. “You are so fucking gorgeous.” Then he kisses my shoulder and a hard knock comes on my door.
“Ivy?” Shit.
“Just a minute,” I call out as Gage spins me and hands me his T-shirt. He steps behind the door, and I wiggle into the soft-worn material. It doesn’t cover me as well as it would without the baby bump, and I tug on my thong. I signal for Gage to remain quiet as I pull open the door a sliver.
“Tommy.” My uncle takes in my attire and then presses on the door with a fist, pushing it into Gage behind it.
“This needs to stop,” he growls when the door won’t go to the wall as it should. I can only imagine Gage holds in the grunt of the wood knocking into him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking—”
“Don’t lie to me, Ivy. We both know that’s the one thing we shouldn’t do.”
I sigh as I keep my hand against the doorknob.
“You can’t do this to yourself,” Tommy warns, his eyes focus on my face but imply what he thinks I’ve done.
“I’m not sleeping with him,” I explain, which should be embarrassing to admit to my father figure, but Tommy’s right. Lies won’t protect either of us.
“Baby girl.” He sighs, holding both hands on the doorjamb as if holding himself back from entering the room. The door moves, and I release the handle.
“I’m going to marry her before I sleep with her.”
“You want to marry her?” Tommy asks aghast.
“I do,” Gage says, and I hold my breath.
“Is this what you want?” Tommy turns on me.
“I…” My mouth falls open, but I can’t respond. Do I want to marry Gage Everly? Is this the life I want to lead? I can’t be my mother. I can’t be second best to the music again. When I don’t answer, Tommy pushes off the doorframe.
“That’s what I thought.” He turns down the hall, leaving me to feel ashamed of myself. Ashamed of what I’m doing with Gage, knowing what my future is. When I close the door behind him, I can’t look at Gage.
“Hey,” he softly says to me, brushing my hair behind my ear. “It’s okay.” His voice remains low as tears fill my eyes. He stands to my side, but I don’t look up. I’m wearing his T-shirt with his seed on my back, and I hate myself. He curls my hair around my ear again. “Ivy?”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, turning to him but keeping my eyes lowered. He tips my chin up, and I close my eyes.
“Don’t hide from me, Ivy. I know you’re scared. I’m scared, too, of what I feel. But don’t judge yourself. We’re doing nothing wrong, and I meant what I said. I want to marry you when you’re ready.”
“You don’t love me, Gage,” I blurt.
“Is that what you want? You want me to say the words to convince you?”
“No,” I snap. I don’t want him to tell me he loves me while we argue.
“We’ll get there, gorgeous.” He bends at the knees to lower his body and look up at me. Cupping my face, he forces my eyes to his. “You and I, we’ll get there together.”
I don’t know exactly what he means, but it sounds good. Him and me. Together. I nod, and he pulls me into me.
“Time for bed, babe.” I lift my head and look at him, but he’s pulling back from me and tugging back the covers to my bed.
“Let me clean up,” I say, needing a minute.
19
GAGE
I’m pissed.
She’s gone.
Just like the time we were together before, she has run, and this time, I haven’t lost her down a hallway but across an ocean.
>
I storm from her room knowing she isn’t just missing from the bed.
“Where’d she go?” I snap at Tommy who stands in the kitchen before the coffeemaker.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The hell you don’t. What else did you say to her, this morning maybe?”
Tommy turns his bulking body to face me and crosses his arms. “I haven’t seen Ivy this morning.”
I slump against the counter. “She’s gone.”
“What do you mean she’s gone? She went to the beach?” Tommy stands straighter, his arms falling to his sides in fists. We glare at one another a moment. Tommy reads in my expression what he already knows from our quick conversation. “Where could she have gone?”
“Home,” Jared says from behind me. I turn to find him sitting on the couch in the living room.
“What do you know?”
Jared sits forward and pushes his glasses up his nose. “I took her to the airport this morning.”
“What?” Tommy and I screech in unison. Petty enters the room in his boxer briefs, scratching the back of his neck.
“What’s all the yelling about?” he asks as he falls on the couch next to Jared. His leg falls on Jared’s, and Jared pushes Petty’s naked leg away from him.
“Jared,” I snap, refocusing his attention to the issue at hand.
“She was upset and wanted to go home.” He doesn’t look smug, which is good for him because I’d erase his smugness with my fist. Instead, he looks resolved.
“What did you do?” I snap, stepping toward one of my oldest friends as my irritation grows.
“Let’s start with what you did,” Jared says, too even keel for someone looking like he wants to punch me. He barks one name, “Adam.”
“Adam?” I question, my voice rising.
“Jared,” Petty warns. “We said we wouldn’t—”
But Jared cuts him off with, “Yeah, you’re pulling an Adam Levine, and I’m not going to sit by and watch it happen.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about and shake my head as I turn away from him. I don’t need this right now. I need Ivy.
“We’re a band, Gage. Us. The four of us,” he reminds me.
“The three of us,” Petty corrects, and we remain silent a moment.
Tommy speaks up instead. “Rule number one. You have to have each other’s backs. Be a unit. If you don’t, you’re nothing more than a handful of musicians, and fans won’t fall for that shit. In fact, they won’t stay fans.”
“Right,” Jared states, his voice shaky. “We aren’t Gage and Collision.”
I step forward, hands slipping into my hair. “Is this about last night?”
“You’re fucking catching on,” Jared bites.
“Well, excuse me for not being as smart as you, college boy.” The words spit like venom, implying the university he left behind and the rich-ass background he walked away from. He’s never made a comment about my upbringing, which was trailer park poor from a small hick town in the South, so my comparison is unfair. But I’m pissed.
“Gage,” Petty warns. He sits forward, resting his elbows on his bare knees with a weary expression.
“You’re not dumb, Gage, but that was a stupid move last night,” Jared states.
“He asked me to sing,” I blurt out, which sounds weak even to me. I should have stood up for the band and asked about including them on stage. We’re a unit. Family.
I sigh, staring back at my bandmates. I swipe two hands down my face. “I’m sorry,” I mutter, looking down at Jared’s stricken face. “I’m sorry.”
Jared and I hold eyes for a second, and he turns away. Petty looks back and forth between the two of us.
“She’s going to be family, too,” I tell them. This settles Petty’s gaze on me.
Tommy remains standing behind me, and I shift so he can hear my words as well. “She’s going to be family,” I repeat slower, emphasizing each word. “Whether it’s me or someone else, she’s carrying Cash’s baby, and he had no family but us. She’s ours now, all of ours, and we need to protect her.”
I turn to face Tommy, expecting the shock I see on his face. “All of ours.” My body shakes with my anger.
“I’ll protect her,” Petty says with his typical flirtatious charm. He doesn’t mean the innuendo implied in his voice. He’ll welcome Ivy with an open heart as my girl.
“But you want her for yourself, don’t you?” Jared asks, and I shift my eyes to him.
“Yes,” I state without hesitation. Am I missing something? Does Jared like Ivy as well? “Why? Do you want her?”
“No, but I don’t want you to hurt her.” His tone pisses me off although I appreciate his concern for her.
“And how would loving her hurt her?”
“It won’t,” Petty interjects, turning his head and narrowing his gaze on Jared. They’ve obviously talked about this as well. We were a foursome of friends, but pairs as far as closeness. Cash and me. Jared and Petty. However, I know my friend well enough to surmise the logical side of Jared wants to question me. How could I love her in only a week’s time? The romantic songwriter in him wants to believe love can happen in an instant.
“She just seemed upset,” Jared defends.
I pause, defeat weighing on my shoulders. “She’s scared, Jared. That’s all. Her mom. Cash. The baby. It’s too much.” I stare at him, willing him to understand as I do. She’s had too much happen too fast.
Jared combs his fingers through the longer hair on top of his head. “I’m sorry, man.” He looks away a second. “She just said it was time to go home. She was rubbing her stomach, and I thought it was the baby.”
Tommy comes around the counter. “Did she say something was wrong?” His voice fills with the concern a father would have for his child, and I’m reminded this is how he feels about her. She isn’t his, yet he’s raised her as if she were.
“That’s it,” I say to him. “You understand, right, Tommy? You practically raised Ivy like she was your daughter, but she’s not… You can’t fault me. I’m going to love her baby as if she were mine…blood or not. That baby needs a father, and I want to be it.”
Tommy glares at me. “What do you know about fatherhood?”
“What did you know about it before Ivy? She isn’t even yours, and that’s the point. It doesn’t have to be that you fathered her; you’re essentially her dad.” Tommy blinks, crossing his arms more casually than his normal bouncer stance. “I want to be that for Ivy. I want her and the baby.”
My voice strains at her loss, feeling as if the world is against me.
“You’re going to be a rock star, Gage,” Tommy tells me.
“And it didn’t stop you from doing everything for Ivy, either.” I don’t have to know their whole history to know that Tommy Carrigan put his blood family before everything else.
“I want to love her. You can’t fault me there.”
Tommy turns his head away, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “We’ll have to agree to disagree.”
How can you disagree with love? I don’t ask. I need to make things right with the band first.
I turn to Jared. “I’m sorry about last night. I got caught up in the excitement, but I won’t do that again. We’re family. Us.” I point at the three of us. “I miss him, too, man, and we’ll get it back, but not if we’re divided among who’s left,” I warn him. We won’t stick if we pull shit like this, helping girls escape and breaking each other’s hearts. Petty bumps Jared’s leg with his knee and nods his head at his friend.
“I’m sorry,” Jared mouths.
I exhale before I drop the next bomb on them. “I want to marry her.”
The room goes quiet.
“What?” Jared hisses. “Don’t you think it’s kind of fast?”
With a slam of a coffee mug on the counter, Tommy exits the room.
“I met her two years ago,” I remind him. “I’ve been circling her for years, and thanks to Petty, I
missed my chance last summer.” We’ve already tackled how he got in the way of my reuniting with Ivy sooner.
“I told you maybe it wasn’t supposed to happen.” Surprisingly, Petty’s tone remains sober. He did tell me this when we talked about what happened. He told me maybe it wasn’t my time, but she needs me now.
“I get that,” I say to Petty, “but I don’t believe it any longer.”
“It’s going to change everything,” Jared blurts.
“Everything already is changed.” Jared and I stare at one another a moment until he swipes a hand through his hair and looks away from me. “But it doesn’t have to change between us.” I don’t need to clarify those of us who remain. “I’ll never give you guys up. Never.” The emphasis is important. We were all at loose ends when Cash brought us together, and I refuse to let us unravel just because he’s gone. He abandoned us, not the other way around. I won’t let Jared or Petty go unless they walk away, and even then, I’m pretty certain I’d chase them.
“Aw, I love you too, man,” Petty says, pretending to wipe tears from under his eyes.
Jared stares at me, his eyes reading something in mine. Brothers forever.
“I love her, Jared. I want you to love her, too.”
“I love Ivy,” Petty whines, lusting after the woman I intend to make my wife. I ignore his antics as I’m concerned about Jared.
“I love her, man,” Jared says with less flirtatious intentions. “I want what’s best for her. For you. For us.”
“This will be good for us,” I say, hope rising. “It will be good for all of us.”
“What do you want?” Jared sighs in exasperation, and I rush him, wrapping my arms around him and tackling him to the couch. “Get the fuck off me,” he growls, but there’s no bite to his request.