CHAPTER XX. THE DEPARTING GUEST
By the time Penrod returned from chasing Duke to the next corner, Vermanhad the long, black snake down from the rafter where its active head hadtaken refuge, with the rest of it dangling; and both boys agreed thatMrs. Williams's cat must certainly be able to "see SOME, anyway",through the meshes of the stocking.
"Well," said Penrod, "it's gettin' pretty near dark, what with all thisbother and mess we been havin' around here, and I expeck as soon as Iget this good ole broom-handle fixed out of the rake for you, Verman,it'll be about time to begin what we had to go and take all this troubleFOR."
.... Mr. Schofield had brought an old friend home to dinner with him:"Dear old Joe Gilling," he called this friend when introducing him toMrs. Schofield. Mr. Gilling, as Mrs. Schofield was already informed bytelephone, had just happened to turn up in town that day, and had calledon his classmate at the latter's office. The two had not seen each otherin eighteen years.
Mr. Gilling was a tall man, clad highly in the mode, and brought to apolished and powdered finish by barber and manicurist; but his colourwas peculiar, being almost unhumanly florid, and, as Mrs. Schofieldafterward claimed to have noticed, his eyes "wore a nervous,apprehensive look", his hands were tremulous, and his manner was "queerand jerky"--at least, that is how she defined it.
She was not surprised to hear him state that he was travelling for hishealth and not upon business. He had not been really well for severalyears, he said.
At that, Mr. Schofield laughed and slapped him heartily on the back.
"Oh, mercy!" Mr. Gilling cried, leaping in his chair. "What IS thematter?"
"Nothing!" Mr. Schofield laughed. "I just slapped you the way we used toslap each other on the campus. What I was going to say was that you haveno business being a bachelor. With all your money, and nothing to do buttravel and sit around hotels and clubs, no wonder you've grown bilious."
"Oh, no; I'm not bilious," Mr. Gilling said uncomfortably. "I'm notbilious at all."
"You ought to get married," Mr. Schofield returned. "You ought--" Hepaused, for Mr. Gilling had jumped again. "What's the trouble, Joe?"
"Nothing. I thought perhaps--perhaps you were going to slap me on theback again."
"Not this time," Mr. Schofield said, renewing his laughter. "Well, isdinner about ready?" he asked, turning to his wife. "Where are Margaretand Penrod?"
"Margaret's just come in," Mrs. Schofield answered. "She'll be down in aminute, and Penrod's around somewhere."
"Penrod?" Mr. Gilling repeated curiously, in his nervous, serious way."What is Penrod?"
And at this, Mrs. Schofield joined in her husband's laughter. Mr.Schofield explained.
"Penrod's our young son," he said. "He's not much for looks, maybe; buthe's been pretty good lately, and sometimes we're almost inclined to beproud of him. You'll see him in a minute, old Joe!"
Old Joe saw him even sooner. Instantly, as Mr. Schofield finished hislittle prediction, the most shocking uproar ever heard in that houseburst forth in the kitchen. Distinctly Irish shrieks unlimited came fromthat quarter--together with the clashing of hurled metal and tin, theappealing sound of breaking china, and the hysterical barking of a dog.
The library door flew open, and Mrs. Cullen appeared as a mingled streakcrossing the room from one door to the other. She was followed by aboy with a coal-black nose and between his feet, as he entered, thereappeared a big long, black, horrible snake, with frantic legs springingfrom what appeared to be its head; and it further fulfilled Mrs.Cullen's description by making a fizzin' noise. Accompanying the snake,and still faithfully endeavouring to guide it with the detached handleof a rake, was a small black demon with a gassly white forehead andgasslier white hair. Duke evidently still feeling his bath, was doingall in his power to aid the demon in making the snake step lively. A fewkitchen implements followed this fugitive procession through the librarydoorway.
The long, black snake became involved with a leg of the heavy table inthe centre of the room. The head developed spasms of agility; there wereclangings and rippings, then the foremost section of the long, blacksnake detached itself, bounded into the air, and, after turning a numberof somersaults, became, severally, a torn stocking, excelsior, and alunatic cat. The ears of this cat were laid back flat upon its head andits speed was excessive upon a fairly circular track it laid out foritself in the library. Flying round this orbit, it perceived the opendoorway; passed through it, thence to the kitchen, and outward andonward--Della having left the kitchen door open in her haste as sheretired to the backyard.
The black demon with the gassly white forehead and hair, finding himselfin the presence of grown people who were white all over, turned in histracks and followed Mrs. Williams's cat to the great outdoors. Dukepreceded Verman. Mrs. Cullen vanished. Of the apparition, only wreckageand a rightfully apprehensive Penrod were left.
"But where," Mrs. Schofield began, a few minutes later, looking suddenlymystified--"where--where--"
"Where what?" Mr. Schofield asked testily. "What are you talking about?"His nerves were jarred, and he was rather hoarse after what he had beensaying to Penrod. (That regretful necromancer was now upstairs doingunhelpful things to his nose over a washstand.) "What do you mean by,'Where, where, where?'" Mr. Schofield demanded. "I don't see any senseto it."
"But where is your old classmate?" she cried. "Where's Mr. Gilling?"
She was the first to notice this striking absence.
"By George!" Mr. Schofield exclaimed. "Where IS old Joe?"
Margaret intervened. "You mean that tall, pale man who was calling?" sheasked.
"Pale, no!" said her father. "He's as flushed as--"
"He was pale when _I_ saw him," Margaret said. "He had his hat andcoat, and he was trying to get out of the front door when I came runningdownstairs. He couldn't work the catch for a minute; but before I got tothe foot of the steps he managed to turn it and open the door. He wentout before I could think what to say to him, he was in such a hurry. Iguess everything was so confused you didn't notice--but he's certainlygone."
Mrs. Schofield turned to her husband.
"But I thought he was going to stay to dinner!" she cried.
Mr. Schofield shook his head, admitting himself floored. Later, havingmentally gone over everything that might shed light on the curiousbehaviour of old Joe, he said, without preface:
"He wasn't at all dissipated when we were in college."
Mrs. Schofield nodded severely. "Maybe this was just the best thingcould have happened to him, after all," she said.
"It may be," her husband returned. "I don't say it isn't. BUT that isn'tgoing to make any difference in what I'm going to do to Penrod!"
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