“Hey, Kyle, it’s Jack. We were supposed to have a doctor at the Shirt Nacho’s stop but he bagged out. We’ll be watching the race and doing the nachos this year at kilometer twenty-two and were hoping you’d come out. Unofficially, of course. With that many people, it’s always good to have a doc on hand. You up for it?”
A wave of dread washed over him, and his hands instantly started to sweat. He hadn’t planned on going to the race, actually watching the racers scream by. Hadn’t been in years, in fact, since the accident. He wasn’t sure he could watch the regular racers, let alone wonder when Jessica would go by.
“Kyle, you there, buddy?”
He cleared his throat and answered, “Yeah, I’m here. I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I’ll come out for as long as I can.”
He could hear the sigh of relief come over the radio as Jack said, “Thanks, man. Free nachos for you, for sure.”
“Thanks, Jack,” Kyle replied, instantly regretting his decision. The Shirt Nacho guys were doing great work in town, in San Felipe, and this was their primary fundraiser. It had seemed odd to him that people lined up at one of the race markers to get nachos wrapped in a T-shirt, but all the money they made went to buy school supplies, and they delivered them to the school children of San Felipe every year, without fail. It was a good cause, and he thought that’s probably why he’d said yes against his better judgment. At least he was trying to ‘get back in the world’, as Jimmy had mentioned, but did it have to be racing?
He loaded the car with a shade cover, chair and an ice chest and headed out, the sense of dread in his stomach growing as each mile clicked away.
As he pulled up to the tents surrounding one of the mile markers, racers were already coming past, dirt billowing everywhere along the course. He got out of the car and set up his tent after saying hello to Jack, letting them know he was present and accounted for. He had grabbed his medical bag, but hoped he wouldn’t need to use it as he sat, glancing around at the eager faces of spectators, all smiling and clapping as the racers came through.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see the smiling faces of Cassie and Alex.
“Hey, Kyle, what are you doing here? I never expected to see you at a race, especially this one,” Cassie said as she released him from a hug.
Kyle looked down at his feet and shuffled them in the dirt as his hands crossed over his chest. “Jack from the Shirt Nachos asked me to come as a medical assist. I had no intention of coming. None at all,” he said, looking past Cassie’s shoulder toward the oncoming racers. Cassie turned around and pointed toward the black and blue McNally Racing sign splashed across a support truck.
“Isn’t that Jessica’s team?” she asked, reaching for Alex’s hand.
Alex squinted in the bright sunlight, putting his hand over his eyes to see better. “Sure looks like it,” he said, grinning and turning back to Kyle.
“I didn’t know if she was going to actually race. It could be her or her brother. I don’t see him here,” he said, his voice rising over the sound of the various vehicles screaming by.
“Well, mind if we sit with you for a while? The resort is a ghost town with everybody out watching the race, so we thought we’d come out. Maybe we’ll get to see her come through,” Cassie said, reaching in the back of their jeep for chairs while Alex grabbed the ice chest.
“Yeah, maybe,” Kyle said, plopping into his chair with a thud, his heart beating faster with every racer that drove by.
Chapter 24
Her time was good, better than she thought it would be. As she closed in on the pit stop at kilometer twenty-two, she knew she’d have to stop for a minute, at least, to have the crew top off the gas. That had been their plan, and she heard Cade say through their in-helmet radio, “We’re here waiting for you. This should be your last stop before the finish line. Be careful. You’ve got a great time going. So no risks.”
“Thanks, Cade,” she said as she re-trained her focus on the road ahead of her. She’d had to take a week off, but she’d practiced the course so many times and it was coming back to her with ease.
She rounded the corner of the small dune she was passing, and skidded to a stop. Hopping off the bike to let the crew handle it, she stamped her feet to get the blood flowing. The last eighty miles she hadn’t stopped at all, and the pain in her wrist reminded her that maybe she should have.
“Best time ever, Jess. You’re on it,” Cade said as she lifted her visor and took a sip of the water he’d handed her. “Second place is way behind, best we can tell.”
“These single track courses are always tough to see the competition, since you’re really racing against the clock,” she said. “It’s easier if I can see who’s right behind me.”
“Well, you can see who’s right behind you,” Cade said, chuckling.
She squinted her eyes at him and wrinkled her nose. “Yes, but it might not be somebody in the quad class. I don’t care about the other motorcycles and trucks. I’m not racing against them,” she said, taking another swig from the water bottle and finishing it off.
“Cade, have you seen Jess yet?” her father’s voice crackled from the radio in Cade’s hand.
“Yeah, Dad, she’s right here. We’re topping off fuel and giving her water.”
“Tell her her competition is hot on her heels. She’d better get a move on if she wants to win this thing.”
Jessica’s eyes went wide. “I thought you said I had a pretty good lead.”
Cade shrugged and looked down at her wrist. “Things can change fast, as you know. I see you decided to take the chance and try to win with the brace. I’m glad. Looks like it hurts, though,” he said.
She followed his gaze, and her eyebrows shot up as she noticed she was rubbing her wrist. She hadn’t realized she was. “You know it still hurts and I haven’t done anything dangerous. Well, except race,” she said, managing a weak smile.”
Cade leaned toward, taking her by the shoulders. “You know you can stop,” he said quietly.
“I know, Cade,” she said as she looked over his shoulder and saw Kyle standing, staring at her, his face drawn. “But I won’t.”
She raised her hand toward Kyle and gave a little wave before she turned and hopped back on the quad, the tugging at her heart something she wanted to leave in the dust behind her. Now wasn’t the time to think about Kyle.
The next mile marker was coming up quickly, and she kept her throttle at full speed. “How much of a lead do I have, Cade? How much time do I have to make up?” she said into the radio.
“Looks like you’re only about five minutes apart if I’m reading their tracker right.”
She shook her head. Five minutes wasn’t very much in a four- or five-hour race. I’m going as fast as I can with this thing on my arm, she thought, as the nagging pain in her wrist broke her concentration.
The wind whistled through her helmet as her thumb pushed the throttle. Sand crunched beneath her boots as she stood in anticipation of a series of washes that would send her flying if she was going too fast. Dust plumed in front of her, just after the final crest of the washes she was in. Cade hadn’t mentioned a crash, but she eased her thumb off the throttle just the same.
As she crested the final wash, she gasped as she turned to avoid a truck being pushed to the side of the road. Her breath quickened as she swerved to the left, the quad on two wheels. Leaning to the left as she started to lose control of the quad, she managed to miss the truck and she bounced from the seat as her two left wheels hit the ground, skidding to a stop.
Her breath came in ragged pants and adrenaline coursed through her veins as she brought her hands to her chest and willed her heart to slow down. She unbuckled her helmet and quickly pulled it off, hanging it on the handle as she tried to catch her breath. She quickly looked back at the truck she’d narrowly missed and one of the crew members waved in apology. “You all right? Sorry, we didn’t hear you coming.”
She held up a hand slowly, signal
ing she was all right as she crossed her arms over the headlight and rested her head on her hands.
She’d just been in an accident and flown off the quad not long ago, and had had many narrow misses in her career. As she rested to the side of the course and other racers sped by, she sat up and watched, something she’d not done often. The racers’ eyes were so intent, and those who weren’t wearing gloves gripped the wheels so hard their knuckles were white.
The sound of Cade calling her from her helmet tore her from her thoughts, and she quickly placed her helmet back on.
“I’m here, Cade. I’m all right.”
“We saw you stop on the GPS. What happened?” he said, worry plain in his voice.
She hesitated, slowly buckling her helmet and pushing it down snugly on her head before she tugged her gloves back on. “Nothing. Just had to stop for a minute. I’ve probably lost my lead, right?”
“It’s still pretty close. If you give it your all, you could still pull it off.”
She rubbed her wrist, watching the plumes of dust ahead of her on the course she’d yet to cover. Her eyes were drawn to the right and up, to the biggest saguaro cactus she’d ever seen. It had to be as tall as a three-story building, and she noticed birds flying over and around it, maybe making nests in the tallest of its arms. She felt like she could watch it for hours, and wondered if Kyle had seen it. She fleetingly thought she’d like to show it to him, and that he would love it.
“Jess, you there?” Cade said.
Pulling her attention back to the course, she smiled as she said to her brother, “Yes, I’m here. I really am here.”
“Okay, good. Well, if you take off now and ride like the wind, you could still win this.”
She started the quad, pulling in the clutch and finding first gear. “I’m going to head out now, Cade, but I’m just going to take my time. There’s some cool stuff out here.”
She could hear the smile in her brother’s voice as he said, “That’s my girl. Have a blast. We’ll be there when you get back.”
Chapter 25
“You okay, Kyle? You look a little pale,” Cassie said as she walked up behind Kyle. Jessica had come through and waved in their direction, and Kyle had been staring behind her ever since.
Kyle cleared his throat and shook his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
Alex rested his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Mind if I butt in here? I know I haven’t been your friend for too long, but I’d like to ask you something.”
“What?” Kyle said, turning back toward the race course. He sat back down in his chair, a whoosh of a breath escaping him.
Alex sat down slowly beside him as Cassie’s eyes widened. He lifted his eyebrows at her, his hands up. “I have to,” he said as Cassie sighed and sat down on the other side of Kyle.
“Alex has a hard time keeping his thoughts to himself when it comes to matters of the heart,” she said. She reached over and pried Kyle’s hand off of the armrests and smiled. “Relax. It might be painless.”
Kyle looked at the white knuckles of his other hand, pulling it back quickly. He leaned back in his chair, his head falling back. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”
“We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well in the past couple of years. At least I think so. And I know all about what happened with Maggy,” Alex began softly. “I know that you’ve kept busy to keep the pain from your heart. And I also know that that can be a very shallow existence.” He looked at Cassie, his eyes filled with softness. “I also know that fear of pain is one thing that will keep us not out of pain, but concrete us into it. You can never find joy if you spend all of your time avoiding pain. It consumes you.”
Kyle raised a strong arm to wipe at the sweat now trickling into his eye. His chest rose and fell quickly as he looked at Alex. “I know that. What are you getting at?”
Alex stood, and dust billowed from his feet as he moved back and forth, silent. When he spoke, he stopped in front of Kyle, straightened his panama hat and said, “This is a girl who lives life, Kyle. Really lives and goes for what she wants. You enjoy what you’re doing, you help people, but playing it safe has its limitations.”
“I really don’t understand what you’re saying, Alex,” Kyle said, pushing himself slowly out of his chair and squaring his shoulders. Turning his baseball cap backwards, he reached to Cassie and pulled her to her feet.
“Kyle, we love you, and we want you to be happy. You’ve been alone for such a long time, and seeing you here today has given us hope that maybe, maybe you’re ready to move on. Jessica is not Maggy. She’s got a good head on her shoulders, and is capable and fun and driven. If you’re afraid to get involved with someone because you might get hurt again, you could be alone forever.”
“I really do appreciate your help and concern, both of you. But I know what I can and can’t do. Yes, she’s great, but being with someone who’s willing to risk her life on a regular basis is just more than I can handle.” He bent over quickly and folded up his chair, throwing it in the back of his car. Picking up his medical bag, he said, “I’ve spent my adult life vowing to protect lives, not watch them get thrown away.”
Cassie slipped her hand into her husband’s, tugging at the dolphin necklace she always wore.
“Stop worrying, Cass. I’m fine. And Alex, thanks for your wise counsel,” Kyle said, reaching out to shake Alex’s hand before he turned to walk away.
“Kyle, I’ve asked the McNally crew and team over to the resort tonight. We planned a little celebration for them in the restaurant and I’d like you to be there.”
The medical bag bounced as he threw it in his car and slid in beside it. Pulling the door shut, he waved out the window as he said, “We’ll see,” before driving back toward the ocean, leaving the race course behind.
He’d been surprised at what he’d felt when he saw Jessica. His pulse had quickened and he’d actually felt a lump in his throat. While his heart had sunk when he’d seen she was racing, it also swelled with pride as he realized her determination. And when she’d waved and he saw the brace on her wrist, he’d felt a wave of relief like he’d never known before.
Lost in thought, he bounced out of his seat as he crossed a wash and pushed the clutch in, prepared to shift into a lower gear. As he got onto the road, his chest calmed as his hands fell into their familiar position on the steering wheel. He laughed as he saw his hands at ten and two, and quickly moved them, one hand on the wheel as he rested his elbow out the open window, and decided to go home, shower and head over to the resort. What could it hurt?
Chapter 26
Kyle had meant to go home and shower, but as he neared his campo, he realized that the racers should be pulling across the finish line soon. He stepped on the accelerator as he passed his camp, not quite sure why he was heading into town, but enjoying the drive. He’d never seen the finish of the race before, and suddenly it appealed to him. Seemed even exciting.
He pulled up to the staging area and parked the car, hopping out and startled by the sights and sounds. Tired, dirty racers were either sitting in chairs with blank stares or cracking beers and toasting each other. Either way, there was a lot of emotion around.
The McNally Racing truck wasn’t too far away, and Kyle headed for it, wondering if Jessica had finished yet. Cade was manning the radio as he sat next to the truck, looking over a table spread with maps.
“You’re close, Jessica,” he said into the radio with a quick wave in Kyle’s direction.
Kyle brought his finger to his lips and Kyle smiled and nodded.
“No, Dad’s still at the last pit stop with the guys. Just me here. They’ll be back in a bit, but you’ll beat them.”
“Glad I’m going to beat somebody,” Jess said over the radio.
“No worries. We won’t even know the official results until tomorrow, anyway.”
“Maybe, but I know already. But you know what? It was worth it. This has been the most fun racing I’ve ever done.”
Ky
le raised his eyebrows as Cade turned to him, telling Jessica, “Okay, bring it home. You’ll be here in about ten. Over.”
Cade put his hand out to Kyle, shaking it heartily as he said, “Pretty sure she didn’t win, but she doesn’t seem to care.” A grin covered his face and he rubbed the back of his neck. “This is a changed woman. Aside from all that’s gone on since the accident, something happened, about halfway through, and she just...changed. Said there were things to see out there.”
“Yeah? Not sure what that could be about,” Kyle said as he rubbed the stubble on his chin, trying to cover his smile.
Cade pushed his shoulder and smiled. “Oh, come on, you know exactly what. This is all your fault.”
“My fault? How’s that?”
Cade looked him up and down, his hands on his hips. “Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you. Ask her,” he said, turning to head back toward the truck. “She’ll be here any minute.
Kyle turned toward the finish line, walking slowly toward it as he thought about what Cade had said. She’d talked only about her wanting to race, that she had to do it. And he’d told her that he couldn’t do it, couldn’t watch her, but here he was. Couldn’t stay away, actually. He finally admitted to himself that he wasn’t just curious about the finish of the race. He wanted to see her.
As the thought crossed his mind, he felt the rest of the weight of his guilt, the weight of Maggy, and the weight he’d chosen to carry for all these years lift.
He realized he’d been hard on her, hard on himself as he looked up and saw the blue and black quad and female rider cross the finish line. As he watched her ride over to the racing truck, his stomach knotted as he wondered what he could say to her to make it right.
She threw down her gloves and her helmet and hugged her brother tightly, both all smiles. As she moved back, Cade pointed to where Kyle was standing and Jessica turned quickly, her hand over her eyes against the sun.
As Blue as the Sky Page 11