All Unquiet Things

by Anna Jarzab

  “Might want to call those Ivies, Dad,” I said. “Do some damage control.”

  “You think this is funny? Are you enjoying this? You’re going to ruin your life, Neily. First you let your grades slip, now this. You’re going to end up flipping burgers at the diner and you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself.”

  “And you.”

  “That’s perfect. Blame me for your problems. What haven’t I given you, Neily? And you throw it all back in my face like it’s garbage.”

  “I’m supposed to be grateful you walked out on us?” I challenged. I knew that would rile him up. He hated to be reminded he was anything less than a god. “I’m supposed to be grateful that you put all that pressure on me to be a genius, to be the best? I was drowning at that school, Dad, and you couldn’t care less so long as I get into Harvard. That’s what this is really all about, isn’t it? I let you down, so you write me off?” “That’s ridiculous. When have I ever written you off?” “The second I dropped out of the program you acted like you barely knew me,” I said. “My best friend is dead and you can hardly even look at me. Do you know how hard it was for me last year, with the investigation and the trial? But instead of talking to me about it like a real father, you just throw me to a therapist once a week and pretend it’ll make it all better.” “Neily—”

  “It is not all better, Dad,” I said. “Because I’m still drowning.” He just stood there, afraid to look me in the eye. We sat in silence after that, waiting for my mother to get home from work.

  That night, Audrey paid me a visit.

  “Are you insane?” she said when I opened the door.

  “Hello to you, too.” I went out onto the porch and closed the door behind me.

  “Attacking Adam on school grounds? Tell me you weren’t suspended.”

  “I’m suspended. For a week.”

  “Jesus, Neily, is this your idea of low profile?”

  “He provoked me. I had to show him who he was dealing with.”

  “I don’t care if he put bamboo shoots under your toenails and made you kick a door, you should never have done what you did. Now he knows how to get to you and he won’t let up.” She shook her head. “You are such a chump. And what if you’re right, and Adam did kill Carly? Now you’ve attracted his attention and if you weren’t at the top of his list before, you certainly are now. How could you be so careless? After what happened to Carly?”

  “At least I’m not sleeping with the enemy,” I said, knowing she was right.

  “Shut up. You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

  “I know that you’re considering getting back together with Cass. Anybody who’s seen you the past few days knows that.”

  “That’s none of your business. And he’s not the enemy. We went to the auto body shop this afternoon, and guess what? The Bean’s gone, his girlfriend says for good. Cass is going to use his connections to help track him down. You need more proof that he’s on our side?”

  “The Bean has left town?” I shook my head. “I talked to him yesterday, asked him about Allison Kessler and Laura Brandt, just like we planned.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He admitted to stalking Allison, but he claimed he didn’t know anything about Laura. He was lying, I could tell, but I’m pretty convinced he didn’t do it. Do you still think he killed Carly?”

  “I think that if he was as messed up as those letters say he was, he’s definitely capable of it.”

  “You don’t know that he wrote those.”

  “You don’t know that he didn’t. He wrote to Allison.”

  “Yeah—e-mails, not actual letters.”

  “So he’s finally learned how to use a printer. That doesn’t prove anything.”

  “It seems like an important distinction to me.”

  “Can you think of anybody else who might have written them, then? And don’t you dare say Adam—that can’t be your answer for everything.”

  “Yeah, well, Cass might have the connections, but I’m the only person getting anything done around here.”

  “Don’t give yourself too much credit,” Audrey said. “You’re probably the one who scared the Bean off.”

  “He didn’t look scared.”

  “His behavior would seem to indicate otherwise.”

  I couldn’t argue with that. “Who are these ‘connections’ of Cass’s?”

  “He didn’t say.”

  “No shit. Well, good luck with that one. He’s slippery.”

  “Fuck off, Neily. And the next time you want to hit something, put your fist through a wall.” With that, she split.

  Suspension agreed with me. I had never understood why the punishment for troublemakers—who clearly hated school-was to force them to stay home. I spent the weekend and the first few days of my punishment lounging around, watching television and reading, but by Wednesday afternoon I was bored, and relieved when Harvey offered to drop by to play video games.

  “I hate to tell you this, but I saw Audrey and Cass making out in the quad today,” Harvey told me.

  “Yeah. I figured that was going to happen.”

  “Why does it bother you so much?”

  “Because the last time I lost a friend to that crowd, she ended up dead.”

  “You sure you don’t have feelings for Audrey?”

  “No. Her love life is her own business—I’m just trying to look out for her. Let’s change the subject.”

  “So, exactly how are you going to continue investigating from in here?” Harvey asked, stuffing his mouth full of Cheetos.

  “I can leave. I’m not under house arrest.”

  “I see. And have you left the house today?”

  “No,” I said. “The problem is, with the Bean gone, the best I can do is follow Adam around town. Except—”

  “Except you can’t go near the school. Remind me again how getting suspended works into your master plan?”

  “Eh, it doesn’t. But at least I’ve only got a couple of days left.” I sighed. “Audrey’s right. I never should’ve let Adam know he was getting to me.”

  “So what are you going to do now?”

  I pulled a note out of my pocket. “Can you leave this in Oz’s locker tomorrow?”

  Harvey nodded. “Will do.”

  The zoo was practically dead when I met Oz the next day. He lumbered up behind me looking somber, like a man going to his execution.

  “What did you find out?” he asked without even saying hello.

  “Nothing much. The Bean denies having anything to do with Laura’s disappearance, but he took off yesterday and we have no idea where he’s gone.”

  “Jesus.” Oz sat down on a bench and put his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. “How did you do it, Neily?”

  “Do what?”

  “Lose the girl you loved like this. Doesn’t it just kill you?”

  “Interesting word choice.” I sat down on the opposite side of the bench. “Yeah, it kills me. I went through this whole period where all I wanted to do was hit something, all the time. I may actually still be going through that period.”

  “I heard about the fight.”

  “Yeah, it was pretty stupid.”

  “That’s a bit of an understatement. Adam’s got blood in his mouth now. You’re his number one target.”

  “Maybe that’s a good thing. If he makes a move, we can nail him.”

  “We?” He shook his head. “Uh-uh, Neily. I’m not stepping into this thing.”

  “You came to me,” I reminded him.

  “For help, not conscription. I’m risking everything just talking to you right now. Which reminds me.” He pulled my note from his pocket. “You got something to say?”

  “More like a question to ask. Who’s Adam’s business partner?”

  Oz shrugged. “No idea. Adam always calls him ‘Barton,’ because that’s apparently what he calls himself, but I’ve never met him, never even heard his real name. Supposedly he’s an old conne
ction of Jerod Irving’s. All I know is that he helps Adam bankroll the whole operation, he gets most of the drugs, and he calls a lot of the shots. I’m pretty sure that it was his idea to do something about Laura.”

  “So you can’t get me a meeting with him?”

  “Have you been smoking something?”

  “I’ll take that as a no.” A thought occurred to me. “How does Adam keep track of his deals?”

  “He’s got a BlackBerry he carries on him with every number of every client he has. He keeps a calendar full of stats-type of drug, ounces, money owed and exchanged, buyer. It’s all in code.”

  “That’s pretty high tech.”

  “It’s digital so that he can back it up, but he can also get rid of the info with the press of a button.”

  “How can I get my hands on Adam’s BlackBerry?”

  “If you’re willing to risk your life, pretty easily.”

  “Let’s say I don’t have a death wish.”

  “Well, then I’d say the chances are slim to none you’ll ever get near enough to Adam to snag it.”

  “He carries it with him at all times?”

  Oz nodded. “Pretty much.”

  “What about during weight lifting?” Adam, like most of the senior guys who couldn’t stand the idea of taking chorus or drama for their elective, sought the comforting presence of other sweaty slackers in the weight room during eighth period.

  Oz’s eyes widened. “He probably leaves it in his locker.”

  “If I got my hands on the BlackBerry while Adam’s working the butterfly press, do you think you could crack the code for me?”

  “I think so. What exactly are you looking for?”

  “I want to know precisely what Adam’s movements were the night Carly died. If he had some kind of deal to make that evening, maybe I can find a way to prove he wasn’t at Cass’s when she was killed. But I won’t be forcing it out of Cass. That way, everybody wins.”

  “Except Cass, who’d get in trouble for lying to the police. I don’t think Audrey would consider that ‘winning.’”

  “They’d let him off if he agreed to testify. Anyway, I’m not worried about Audrey’s feelings right now. All I care about is watching Adam go down for what he did.”

  “And if it wasn’t him?”

  “Oh, believe me,” I said. “It was him.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  The next evening, Audrey called and asked me to meet her at the diner. I had to sneak out of my house to do it—I might not technically have been under house arrest, but my mother was no amateur. She had taken my car keys, but I had an extra set, and when she fell asleep on the couch watching TV, I slipped out the back door, put the car in neutral, and pushed it to the end of the block before hopping in and driving off.

  Audrey gave me a tight smile. “How’s your hand?”

  “A lot better than my face,” I told her, pointing to my black eye. “I’m guessing you’re not mad at me anymore.”

  “I wasn’t mad.”

  “Then somebody call the Academy, because that little performance the other day should’ve earned you an Oscar.”

  “I’m scared. A guy like Adam isn’t going to let you get away with what you did.”

  “So I’ve been told.”

  “Did you talk to Oz?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. He said that he has no idea who Adam’s partner is—only that his nickname is Barton and he calls a lot of the shots. Oz thinks that Barton had something to do with Laura Brandt’s disappearance—which means that the Bean is officially off the hook.”

  “Not so fast. I asked Cass if he knew anything about Adam’s supplier, but he doesn’t, only that the guy isn’t in Empire Valley and that he’s a bit of a shadow. Nobody’s ever met him, but Adam complained to Cass last year that Barton was doing a lot of stuff behind his back—having people roughed up, sending Adam’s toadies out on special assignments, bringing stuff over the border without telling Adam, et cetera. He didn’t say so, but I got the impression it might’ve been this Barton guy who cut the cocaine he sold Laura Brandt with Special K.”

  “So?”

  “So we know that Adam kicked the Bean out of his circle after Cass’s School’s Out for Summer party, but the Laura Brandt stuff didn’t go down until after that—in July and at Lucy’s party in August. Both Adam and this Barton character had a lot to lose if she actually went to the cops. Maybe the Bean agreed to freak her out on the freeway or dispose of her permanently to get on either or both of their good sides.”

  “Maybe. You seem to be consulting a lot with Cass lately. Is he part of this investigation now?”

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually,” she said, ripping open a packet of Sweet’N Low and pouring it into a tall glass of iced tea. “Cass and I are back together.”

  “I’ve heard.”

  “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

  “What do you want me to say? That I think it’s a big mistake?” I looked her straight in the eyes. “Fine. I think it’s a big mistake.”

  “Why?”

  “You really want to do this?”

  “Do what?”

  “You really want to have this conversation about how I disapprove of your boyfriend? We just started becoming friendly and this is how you want all that to end?”

  “I know you don’t trust him because he’s friends with Adam, but he told me that they hardly even speak anymore and I really think—”

  “Here’s what I think. I think he lied about being with Adam the night of Carly’s murder, and I’m about to prove it. Are you going to stand by him when you find out he impeded a police investigation and he gets arrested for aiding and abetting?”

  “If that’s what happened, then yeah, I am going to stick by him.”

  “Because he did such a fine job of sticking by you,” I said. “I thought a girl like you would prefer to return the favor.”

  “I love him, Neily. If Carly had come to you and said, ‘I’m sorry, I’ve made a mistake, I want you back,’ what would you have done?”

  She had a point. “It’s your life. But for the record, I wasn’t going to say anything.”

  “You said you were about to prove that Adam wasn’t where he said he was the night of Carly’s murder. How are you going to do that?”

  I hesitated. “I don’t think I can trust you with that information.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “Nope. I’m willing to play the understanding, sympathetic friend who supports all your decisions no matter how stupid they are, but you’re compromising the whole investigation by getting back together with Cass.”

  “How?”

  “There. Right there, that look.”

  “What look?”

  “That panicked look you had on your face when I talked about proving that Cass is a liar. You’re either on board a hundred percent or you’re not. But if you’re not, I can’t use you.”

  “You can’t use me? Whose idea was this in the first place?”

  “Yours. Which is why I’m surprised that you would give it all up to make out with Cass in the backseat of a car.”

  “It’s a really nice car,” she snapped.

  “Oh, good one. Right where it hurts.”

  “I’m not giving it all up. I still want to find out who killed Carly—I still want to clear my dad.”

  “Sure doesn’t look like it. But I guess that you were just doing this to exorcise your daddy issues, and now that you have, the rest is gravy.”

  “Excuse me? ‘Daddy issues’?”

  “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

  “Enlighten me,” she said, seething.

  “This all started because you wanted to win back the love of a man who abandoned you,” I said, on a roll now. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I also didn’t want to let her off easy for walking away from this. It had been comforting, knowing that somebody was there with me, believing the same things I was
, fighting for the same cause, but all she was doing was launching a campaign to get back her ex-boyfriend. What annoyed me most was that I saw this coming, but I thought she would make the right decision. It just showed how little I knew her. “Now you have. It’s a different man, but he’ll do, I’m sure.”

  “You’re such an asshole.”

  “Well, at least some things don’t change.”

  “How can you say that to me? After everything we’ve both been through, how can you deny me the one scrap of happiness I’ve had over the past year and a half? You’re so goddamned selfish it makes me want to throw up.” She threw a few dollar bills on the table and left the restaurant. I didn’t watch her leave. It was too sad.

  I saw Audrey Monday morning at school, but she didn’t look at me. Instead, she dove right for Cass, as if to show me that she knew what she was doing. I wanted to give consideration to Audrey and Cass, but unfortunately I had bigger things to worry about. First of all, I had to figure out how to get into Adam’s gym locker without using the bolt cutter I’d stashed in my own locker in case of emergency.

  “If I had to get into somebody’s locker, how would I do it?” Harvey repeated for clarification. “I’m assuming this is not just a hypothetical question.”

  “Let’s pretend it is.”

  “Okay,” he said. “Well, I guess the best way to compromise a combination lock would be to use a shim.”

  “A shim?”

  “Yeah. You can buy them on the Internet, I think.”

  “Wish I had known that yesterday.”

  “Relax, dude.” Harvey walked over to the soda machine and dropped a handful of coins into the slot. A can of root beer tumbled out and he picked it up. “You can make your own out of an aluminum can.”

  “Tell me you know how to make a shim.”

  “As a matter of fact, I do.”

  I grinned and shook my head. “Unbelievable.”

  “What? I get bored a lot and I used to be a Boy Scout.”

  “No, it’s brilliant. What else do you need?”

  “A knife, some scissors, and a Sharpie.”