Everything in my body tightened as tension paralyzed me, causing me to mumble through numb lips, “Okay.”
“Bahlin believes we’ve been handfast already. He’s claiming he didn’t break your engagement and therefore we are not legitimately wed by the customs of the coven.”
“We’re not wed,” I said. “That assumption was on Aiden. And Bahlin did break our engagement. Clay held me while I cried, and then you showed up and saw Clay kissing me while he was half asleep and unaware it was me, and you witnessed me trying to get him off my face.”
“Ah, but Bahlin punished Clay for touching you. He claimed a misunderstanding between the two of you and accused Clay of inappropriate conduct with the Glaaca’s trekkár.”
This had happened before he knew about Hellion? Bahlin had lied? “What, exactly, does this mean?” I clutched at Hellion’s hand. “I don’t belong to anyone.”
Hellion looked at me, his deep eyes pulsing with emotion. “No, and that’s the problem.” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. “The only way I can deny his request to return you to him is to marry you, Maddy. A formal ceremony, with witnesses, is the only thing that will trump his claim.”
I choked and looked back at Conor, who nodded grimly.
I looked at Darius and he shrugged. “He’s right, my little chick. It’s the only way to keep from having to observe the dragon’s claim, even if you know it’s invalid.”
I pushed away from Hellion and stood. “I belong to no one.” I turned to look at Conor. “You were here this morning. Aiden left because he thought we were handfast?” I asked, gesturing between Hellion and myself.
Conor nodded. “That’s the excuse he used to get the information back to his brother more hastily. But I believe he knew you weren’t declared. That’s why the dragons are moving so quickly to reclaim you.”
I felt sick. My independence meant nothing in this world. The one ally I might have had, Sarenia, wouldn’t help me at this point. “So what are my choices?” I asked. My voice was decidedly flat and emotionless and left no clue to the brewing fury within.
“Marry Hellion, officially, or be returned to the dragons,” Darius said.
“Bit blunt there, mate,” I snapped, courtesy choked out by my anger. “We just need to look harder to find a better solution.”
Hellion stood and walked out of the room without a backward glance. My dark mood stumbled at his abrupt departure. I looked at Darius, who eyed me coolly. Conor’s face was blank, but he couldn’t hide the tension around his eyes and lips any more than he could coax his hands to relax and stop fisting at his sides. I’d acted irrationally yet again, pissing off the very people from whom I needed to obtain help. Fan-damn-tastic.
I sank to the sofa and dropped my head in my hands, my anger quickly replaced by despair. I heard Conor move into the hallway. He had a brief discussion with someone before moving farther into the house. Darius was silent by nature but I suspected he too was gone. I was poor company right now.
I heard soft footsteps and refused to raise my head and face any more problems right now. The steps came to a stop near the fireplace, and curiosity eventually got the better of me.
Damn if that ain’t always the way.
Hellion stood there, hands in his pockets, a serious look on his face, backlit by the fire so he appeared to glow. “I apologize for the events of this evening,” he said formally. “They truly are beyond my control.”
“It’s okay.” I dropped my face back into my hands. I shook my head and, when I finally spoke, it was around a knot of emotion lodged high in my throat. “I don’t want to be forced to deal with Bahlin right now, Hellion. I can’t, not and survive it. I don’t know the man I met in the circle tonight.” It was just one more case of life proving love couldn’t last. Everyone I’d ever loved had been taken from me in some form, leaving me alone and lonely.
Hellion moved closer to me, and I heard his knees crack as he sank to the floor beside me. “Come to me?” he asked, reaching out a hand.
I slid off the sofa and curled up next to him, leaving just enough space that we weren’t melded together but close enough I could enjoy his heat. I laid my head on his upper chest and sighed. The feelings he was coaxing from me through patience, camaraderie, humor and lust were terrifying, and I didn’t trust them. Fool me once, lover, shame on you. Fool me twice, love, shame on me. But just because I didn’t intend to get permanently involved with him in a way that involved falling in love didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy the physical comforts of companionship in the moment. I’d just guard my heart, viciously if need be.
With that decided, I rolled my head up toward Hellion’s face only to find him watching me with somber eyes. “What’s going on in that brain pan of yours, oh great and magical grand poobah of Europe?” I asked, lightly teasing.
He smiled and ruffled my hair. I started just a little and realized he was treating me solely like a good friend. What about the prophecy? Forget the prophecy. Why was he being friendly, as in friend and not interested, as in male to female? I was disappointed in myself. The realization that I never seemed happy, but instead always skeptical with the moment at hand, was hard to swallow.
Sensing some discord in my thoughts, Hellion closed the gap between us and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close. “What bothers you, mo grá?”
I felt awkward, unsure how to convey my thoughts. “It’s silly really. I’ll leave it alone and—”
“I’d like to know,” he interrupted. “I’d like to know much more about you, things that take a lifetime to figure out. Unfortunately, tonight is not our night.” He sighed deeply and moved away from me.
“Because of the blue weyr?” I asked, reaching up to touch his face.
“That’s the one. Their intent is to take you back, and I don’t want to let you go, so we’ve a dilemma on our hands.” His smile was as far from happy as the East is from the West. “Do you want to go with them? Because if you do, we can avoid another skirmish. There are enough of us here to make their lives difficult, but not enough to win should they come en masse. So what you want matters very much and holds influence on the lives of others.”
Even if he’d dropped an anvil in my lap I couldn’t have felt more surprised or bogged down. How was I supposed to know what was best? Bahlin hadn’t made me… And then I realized a hard truth. Bahlin had made the majority of the decisions for me. He’d led me around by the nose and I’d just followed blindly, using the excuse that I was new, that I needed a mentor, that I couldn’t do what needed to be done alone. The thought made my stomach hurt. How capable was I really, and how much of it had been him?
“I don’t know what I want,” I whispered into the room.
Hellion nodded. “Then because you are undecided, I will further complicate things,” he said with a sardonic smile. “I will give you one other option.”
No. No, please. I can’t—
“Maddy,” he rasped, looking at me with wildly pulsing eyes. “I care for you deeply and want for you only what you want.”
I panicked and tried to push to standing. He held me firmly in place so that I was only able to force my way to my knees.
“I will ask only once, and you are free to refuse. Madeleine Dylis Niteclif, will you marry me? Will you be mine for all that eternity holds for us?” He looked up at me, so serious, and I searched his face.
“Why are you asking me?” I whispered.
“First, because I am falling in love with you and I want to spend my life with you. Second, I believe we are predestined. Third? To be honest, I want to keep from being forced to give you up. It’s one thing if you choose to go to him. It’s another if you’re torn from me unwillingly.” He pulled me into his lap so I was facing him, his thumbs making small circles on my abdominal plane. They moved in a hypnotic rhythm.
“Would you have asked anyway?” My voice was shaky, belying my fear, and I hated that.
“But I already did, love.”
“No,” I said
, shaking my head, “no. It’s not the same thing. I need to know you would have asked me to marry you for all the right reasons, not because Odin willed it or Bahlin forbids it or the universe demands it. Do you think you would have ever asked only for love?”
“I’m asking now. If you believe it’s because of anything other than true love, say no. But if you are beginning to have feelings for me as I believe you are, there’s only one answer. Regardless, I’ll respect your decision.” He stilled his hands and gave me a small squeeze.
Bahlin had said the same thing. He’d promised me he would love me no matter what, and now it seemed he was more interested in possession than love. I said as much to Hellion and his eyes quieted. “If you think so little of me as to lump me in with that type of behavior, then these past weeks amount to nothing, and you don’t know me at all.” He moved to shift me gently off his lap.
I managed to hang on, giving him pause.
“Maddy?” That one word combined with the tone of his voice to issue a sexy warning. “You’re fooling yourself, mo chroí, if you think I’ll not press my advantage.” He shifted so his hips were pressed into my pelvis. He was quickly becoming aroused.
In a split second I made my decision to pursue physical comfort over emotional demands. Here was hoping I could keep the two separate. “Take me to bed, Hellion.”
“Pardon?” His head snapped back, shock widening his eyes.
I blushed. “You heard me.”
He pulled back, settling me on his thighs instead of his groin. “I’ll do nothing of the sort until you tell me why. Because this is out of character for you, love, and I’ll not do anything that will ruin what we’re building, nor will I take advantage of your fear of the moment.”
“You forgot one thing,” I said.
He just quirked an eyebrow. “And that is…”
“Desire,” I murmured, running my hands through his thick hair. I leaned forward and kissed him gently, our height difference meaning he had to lower his face to mine and make the decision to give himself over to me.
Hellion wrapped me in his arms and shot up off the floor with impressive strength, carried me past the curious staff and strode straight up the stairs to his bedroom.
He slammed the door with his mind, and with one yank he shed the covers from the bed so that only the fitted sheet and the pillows remained. He wrapped an arm around my waist and crawled onto the bed, sinking to the middle with me beneath him.
I arched my back as he came down on top of me. The press of his hard groin into my aching cleft was electric, and I gasped.
He leaned back and pulled my T-shirt off over my head. He unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, running his hands around my hips. I writhed on the bed, reveling at the curious confidence in my sexuality, scared to look at it too closely. Hellion leaned forward and kissed his way up my front, beginning at the V of my opened zipper and nipping, licking and sucking his way up to my mouth. I was absolutely on fire by the time he made it to my lips. I grabbed his head and laid waste to his control, kissing him with every ounce of skill I possessed. I nipped his quivering lower lip and sucked at it until his eyelashes fluttered against his lower lids. I ran my hands across his abs and pulled at his shirt until he let me dispose of it, pressing our upper bodies together. Fine sweat was already collecting between my breasts, and he drug a finger through it, drawing it down until he circled my bellybutton.
A loud crash sent us both scrambling apart. Hellion raced for the closet and came out with a dirk for me and both a scary-ass sword and a gun for himself. Sounds of fighting floated up the stairs, getting louder with every breath I took.
“Stay here,” he shouted as he sprinted from the room.
“Like hell.” I got up to run after him and realized I should probably put some clothes on.
If only I hadn’t paused for clothes, I probably wouldn’t have had to kill the dragon.
Chapter Eleven
I had just pulled my shirt on when the door crashed open. I grabbed the dirk and recognized Clay, my only friend in the weyr and my former nurse, as he came through the door, followed by Bahlin’s little brother, Aiden. Holding short swords, they were both bleeding. Each man had tucked a gun in the waistband of his pants.
Aiden stood smirking at me, blocking the only exit from the room. He looked a far cry from the sweet kid that had chased me down to beg me not to leave his brother weeks ago.
Clay, on the other hand, looked miserable. “You have to come with me, Maddy. I’ve got to take you with us.”
“I’m not going, Clay.”
He advanced on me, sword hung at his side, dragging the floor and leaving a deep gouge in the hardwood planks. “Don’t make this worse than it needs to be, Maddy. You’re coming.”
I lifted my little dirk and shook my head. “No. Don’t make me do this, Clay.” I was terrified it would come to blows, and I held no illusion over who would win the scuffle. I backed up until I was in the doorway to the bathroom.
“Don’t take another step, Niteclif,” Aiden said, pulling his gun out and leveling it at me.
“Put the damn gun away, Aiden,” Clay barked. “He never should have given you the thing.”
“Bahlin gave him a gun?”
Clay nodded and rolled his eyes. “Look, Maddy, don’t make me disarm you. Drop the knife and come with me.”
“No.”
“Damn it, Maddy! You’re coming, and that’s final. Drop it now or I’ll disarm you!” Clay shouted. The sounds of fighting rolling up the stairs were getting closer and more violent. It had gone from a simple abduction to a full-fledged battle. Metal clanged on metal, men grunted as fists met flesh, and a single gunshot sounded, temporarily masking the noise as my hearing rang.
Clay rushed me while I was distracted. I instinctively raised my knife hand and swung out with it. He hadn’t been anticipating it, and I caught him in the gut, ripping across his lower abdomen. I screamed and watched him fall to his knees, surprise replacing the intensity of the moment. The shock of hitting the floor knocked his hand away from the wound, and I saw that I’d laid his lower gut open. The smell of perforated bowel hit my nose, and I knew I’d killed him, whether he bled from the gut wound or died from infection.
I threw the knife down and skidded across the floor on my own knees, grabbing his arms as he sank further to the floor. Blood was pumping from the wound with his every heartbeat so I knew I’d cut something major, and the intestine and bowel roiled like snakes in a pit as he sank lower.
“Maddy?” he asked, confused. Shock was setting in.
“Clay!” I screamed. “Aiden, get Hellion.”
Aiden stared at the dying dragon. Clay’s heels dug into the floor and he arched his back, his body recognizing what his conscious mind couldn’t grasp.
“Get Hellion, you malignant asshole!” I screamed. “Move!”
Aiden started, and it was like he came back to life. He dropped his sword before vomiting all over the floor. I crouched over Clay, trying to protect him from the splatter. Aiden righted himself but didn’t move to get help.
“Forgive me,” I whispered. “Oh, Clay, I’m so sorry.”
We sat there for a few minutes staring at each other while Aiden blocked the door and did nothing. Nothing.
Clay’s wound was bleeding less, his skin cooling, and I knew we were minutes away from death. Then he surprised me.
“Kiss me, Maddy.”
I bent toward Clay and made the softest contact with his lips and he opened his mouth, kissing me gently. His lips were turning blue, his eyes going glassy. My salty tears wet our joined lips, and he tried to lick them away. I sobbed. His breathing changed, becoming intermittent as his heart fought to hold on. His last breath eased into my mouth. He was gone.
Aiden crossed the floor and shoved the gun under my jaw, lifting me painfully to my feet with the muzzle.
“I fucking hate you,” I spat. “You could have saved him.”
“Don’t put that off on me, bitch. Your knife,
your kill.” He shoved me with his free hand, and I stumbled forward. He snatched the short sword off the floor as we headed for the door. “Stay in front of me, no fast movements. You’re leaving with Bahlin. No discussions.”
“You’re too late,” I said, my own shock beginning to settle over me like miasma. “Hellion proposed tonight.” What the what? Where had that come from?
“Same event, different groom,” Aiden said cryptically.
I went icy cold. “If your brother thinks I’ll marry him now, he’s delusional.” My feet felt like lead as I navigated the stairs. I was almost to the bottom when I saw Hellion lying on the floor in a small pool of blood.
“No!” I darted forward, sliding toward my second body in less than five minutes. Scrambling, I felt for his pulse. It was there but thready. I looked up and found Bahlin standing over us, a gun in his hand.
“You should have just come to me, Maddy. It would have saved his life.”
“Not just his,” I snapped.
Bahlin looked around and realized Clay was missing. “Where’s Clay, Aiden?”
“She killed him,” Aiden said, his voice rough, and I realized then he was trying not to cry.
“I’m not leaving with you, Bahlin. You threw me over for your guilt and then you treated me like offal tonight. What in heaven’s name makes you believe I would marry you?”
He stood proud and arrogant and never more lethally beautiful. “You were the one who convinced me to damn the prophecy and make what we wanted out of our lives. I want you, Maddy, more than he does.” He gestured toward Hellion with his gun and shoved him with the toe of his boot. “I’m giving you an out here, Maddy. Come with me and let’s fix what’s broken. We’ll go away, sort things out—”
“Wanting and loving aren’t the same, Bahlin,” I said, and I laid a soft hand on Hellion’s. I pulled my T-shirt off and pressed it to Hellion’s shoulder wound. “I’m not like your treasure, something you obtain, possess or own.”
Hellion’s eyes fluttered open, and he had a hard time focusing on me. “Don’t go. Please.”
My choice was made. I glared at Bahlin. “Leave,” I snapped, my voice like the crack of a whip. Hellion winced and I stroked his head. “I need to take care of him. If he dies, I swear on my own life I will hunt you down and…”
Wrath: The Niteclif Evolutions, Book 2 Page 12