by Tara Pammi
Like she was standing naked in the midst of a crowd, her worst nightmare, all her toughness, her strength, her pride, mere illusions. She was that little girl again, desperately pretending that she was not scared at the prospect of leaving the only home she knew. Her throat felt raw. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He reached her then and the tenderness with which he clasped her jaw was enough to break her. She should hate him, this man who saw past everything, but she couldn’t. “What will you do when I’m done with you? How will you convince Sal of anything then?”
All Sophia heard in that little outburst was when I’m done with you. Her entire world felt colorless, lifeless, in that sentence. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Then you aren’t much of a planner, are you?”
“Wow, is this how you are when you don’t sleep for a few days?”
He ran a hand through his hair in a rough, restless gesture. “No, I’m like this because I found out that you’re making secret deals with Antonio. Again.”
“Again? What do you mean?”
“I know he’s the one who put you up to marrying me.”
“He told you?”
“Si. So tell me what are you doing meeting with him in secret in the middle of the night? Alex saw you.”
“So she told on me?”
“She thought I should know that my wife is continuing negotiations with my wily grandfather, si. Alex despises Antonio as much as I do.”
Sophia knew there was a guilty flush climbing up her cheeks. “I just... I told him to stop bullying Salvatore, and every one else, that’s all. He and his gray wolf pack.”
The sinuous lines of Luca’s face became still. “You did?”
“Yes. It’s high time someone stood up to him. He plays with everyone—Kairos, you, me, Tina. Only Leandro seems to escape his clutches. I might have gone a little overboard, I was so angry about it.”
“How overboard?”
“I told him if he wasn’t careful, I would send him and his pack out of the board with their tails tucked between their legs.”
But Sophia had approached Antonio only to ask about Luca, for she knew Leandro could never be induced to talk about his brother. The bond between the Conti brothers, as she’d guessed, was inviolate, for all they were diametrically opposite in temperament.
What haunted Luca? Was it a medical condition? Why weren’t the Contis, with all their bloody wealth, doing something to help him?
With each passing day, she felt as if she’d go mad if she didn’t understand what drove Luca. It felt like an invisible wall was already pushing her away from him.
For a man who gave every outward proof of despising Luca, Antonio hadn’t betrayed a single thing. Only stared at her as if she was an apparition that had appeared out of thin air. Beyond frustrated, Sophia had vented the anger, the fear that was slowly consuming her from within.
She took Luca’s hand in hers, the long, elegant fingers as familiar as her own now. She’d never known this intimacy, this sort of connection with another person, in her life. Not even her mother. Somehow, Luca had become a part of her own makeup. “I would never whisper about Valentina to another soul.”
“He told you about Tina?”
He sounded so disquietingly furious that the words poured out of Sophia. “I would never betray your family in that way. I would never ever pull the rug like that from anyone, much less Tina. I know what it feels like to not have a name. To not know where you belong. You believe me, don’t you, Luca?”
* * *
Luca stared at Sophia, the wistfulness in her tone calming the anger inside. His grandfather really needed to keep his mouth shut. Sensing the wariness in her tense stance, he pulled her into his arms. “You fight so ferociously for Salvatore, I forget you’re not even his, Sophia. Tell me more about you.”
“There’s not much to tell. My English father died before he could marry my mother. She became the village pariah when she found out she was pregnant. She moved to Milan to find a job and to raise me. For a long while, we struggled to make ends meet. She wasn’t really suited for any kind of job. So she cleaned houses. Big, posh houses, and I tagged along whenever I could.”
“It made you determined to succeed.”
“Yes. I wanted to go to college, I wanted a career. Luckily for me, I did well at school. I never ever wanted to have just a glass of milk for dinner. Can you blame my fixation with cakes and pastries? Diets are torture for me, to deny myself food when we didn’t have much for so long, my body revolts at the very idea.”
He buried his nose in her hair, tenderness enveloping him. “Then why do you?”
“It’s okay, I’m coming to realize that I’ll never be stick-thin, anyway.”
“You’re a fighter, cara mia. It lights you from the inside out.”
“That’s what good-looking people say to the ugly ones,” she retorted instantly.
They burst out laughing. She hid her face in his chest. It felt as if his lungs would burn if he even tried to contain this.
Dio, what was he going to do with this woman? She made him laugh like no one did. She cast such bright light onto everything she touched. She made him so protective of her, as if that was his only reason in the world.
She made him ache and want with a fierceness he had never known. And the days were dwindling down slowly but surely. Like sand in an hourglass. There was nothing he could do contain it. He had let her see more of him than anyone else.
Every moment he spent with her, he was living an entire lifetime in it.
Everything was becoming twisted, twined together so messily that he wasn’t able to keep it separate. Different compartments for different activities, different emotions used in different places, some never to be indulged in; that was his life. There was order in his chaos.
And he didn’t know how to stop it. How to harden himself against her. How to remind himself that he could not have her for more than a few weeks.
“When I was thirteen, Mom met Salvatore. He fell in love with her. I wasn’t sure he’d want her with me tagging along. So I...” Her voice wavered here and suddenly, a pushing pressure came upon Luca’s chest.
He stroked the tight line of her mouth. “What did you do, Sophia?”
“I decided to remove myself from the equation. I packed a bag with two pairs of clothes, took enough money for bus fare, packed two sandwiches and a banana—more than I should have, I know, but I didn’t know when I would be able to eat again and I knew Sal would take care of my mom, so I ran away.”
Luca’s throat felt raw, imagining a barely grown girl disappearing like that. “Christo, Sophia! What were you thinking?”
“She needed him more than I did. I couldn’t bear to see her like that anymore, shriveling to nothingness, working all hours just to get me through school.”
Thirteen, she’d been only thirteen. And so brave. He didn’t mistake for a second that it hadn’t cost her. That it hadn’t left a mark on her. That it hadn’t changed her in ways even she couldn’t see.
Seeing the best or worst of yourself at such a young age, it set a precedent. Now she thought it was up to her to solve her loved ones’ problems.
How could Salvatore not see how precious her loyalty was? For the first time in his life, Luca offered what he always took. What he craved like he did air. Comfort, touch, companionship. That she’d revealed a part of herself, a part he was sure no one knew, made him feel as if he had gained a treasure.
Hooking his hands on her hips, he pulled her into his lap on the settee. She jerked first, as if to reject the embrace. “Sometimes, I dream the bus left with me in it.”
“You’re here, tesoro. In my arms.”
Something fierce rose inside Luca. He would ensure she never had to do something like this, he promised himself, that she’d never have to sacrifice her happiness for the sake of her family. He’d look out for her.
Her thighs bracketed his as he enfolded her within his
arms. He nuzzled her hair, needing to touch her as much as she needed it. Settled as she was snugly against him, it wasn’t lust that she invoked in that moment. But something far more tender, and rooting.
“What happened then, cara?”
She inhaled noisily. “They both came after me. Mom said she didn’t want a man who didn’t accept me, too. Salvatore went on his knees in front of me, I mean, can you imagine the scene? Rough, abrasive Salvatore being gentle... He looked me in the eye and told me he was my father from that day. He’s always been kind to me.”
Luca’s respect for the man rose. “Except when he arranged your marriage.”
“He’s traditional. He thinks women, including his shrewish daughter, need to be protected. I was ready to marry whoever he pointed at. Only the man he picked found out that I’d given up the prize to you and refused to marry me. At least, he never told Sal why.” Uncertainty threaded through her tone, her soft body tense in his arms. “It was you, wasn’t it? You warned them all.”
Suddenly, it felt like the most important thing in the world to Luca that Sophia didn’t think him cruel and heartless. Or shallow. Or a useless waste of space. Or a man who was incapable of caring. All the things he’d made himself to be became an unbearable burden when it came to her. “If I had known what Marco intended, I’d never have sent him there. I...”
That she burrowed into his arms instead of withdrawing, his breath seesawed through him. She felt like warmth and generosity, strength and softness, the woman placed in the universe, it seemed, to balance him.
Forehead tucked into his neck, she hid her face, but the quiver in her words was still there. “Why did you take part in that bet? I can’t just believe you could knowingly take part in someone’s humiliation. At least, tell me it was that dumb need to prove yourself among them. Tell me I was incidental, Luca and not the—”
“Hush....cara mia, it was nothing like that. Believe me, I...I never meant to hurt you.” When she became stiff in his arms, he forced her to meet his eyes. For once in his wretched life, to show the truth, instead of hiding behind shadows. “When I heard about the bet, I was furious. But there was no way to dissuade that lot. So I joined in. Only to protect you from their stupid ploys. Instead, I got involved with you. Those weeks we spent together... It was incredible.
“But I was barely a decent man, Sophia, much less worthy of you. I had to end it. So I told them I had won the bet. Marco was supposed to see you, and then walk out quietly. But that scoundrel humiliated you. You were never supposed to know about the bet.
“When I found out what he did, I smashed his cell phone. Warned them I didn’t want to hear your name again on their lips. I knew you would be cursing me to hell, which was for the best.”
CHAPTER TEN
FOR A FEW SECONDS Sophia felt dazed.
He’d meant to protect her. Knowing that he’d fallen for that indescribable pull between them, she felt light. As if the invisible boulder of shame and humiliation and self-doubt she’d been carrying around her neck for a decade had been lifted away.
It didn’t matter that he’d ended their relationship like that. It didn’t matter that he’d run away with a lover, in an effort to sever whatever they had shared.
It only mattered that those weeks had been special to him, too.
“I did for a long time,” Sophia replied. Had a woman ever been so happy to find out the real reason of why she’d been dumped? But then their whole relationship was strange. “I cursed you, and for a really crazy period there, I even considered having some voodoo done on you. You know, have your manhood shriveled or some such.”
“Manhood?” he said, the word full of mockery.
She could feel her cheeks burn but for the life of her she couldn’t say the p word. “Fine. Your instrument of pleasure.”
He laughed. She loved making him laugh. It was quickly becoming the most favorite thing about herself. Second in that quickly growing list were her previously hated breasts. Anything that could fuel those dark fantasies he kept whispering in her ear proudly earned that place. “Your mighty sword? Your shaft of delight?”
Tears rolled down his cheeks and he pulled her on top of him until she was straddling him. “Say it, Sophia.”
“I don’t want to.”
“You prude.”
Her chest hurt for the laughter bursting through her. “I’m a liberated woman who has no qualms about her sexual needs. Now, go back to the house, pretty yourself up and be ready to satisfy me when I come home tonight. See?”
“You’re going to pay for it.”
“I’m not a prude.”
“Then say it.”
“Luca, that word is so clinical and dull for the fantastic, mind-blowing things you do with it. I will not call the most awesome thing in the world that horrible name.”
The most debauched man on the face of the earth blushed then. His nostrils flared, his mobile mouth pursed and there was such delight in his eyes.
Sophia giggled.
He hugged her then. Tightly and like she were precious cargo. “You, cara mia, are going to be the death of me.”
His hands reached for her shoulders again and Sophia exhaled in shuddering relief. Suddenly, she couldn’t imagine going another minute without his hands on her. With urgency that was part desperation and part fear, she kissed his mouth.
“Just stay away from Antonio. And Kairos and Leandro, too, for good measure. I don’t trust any of them.”
“Not even your own brother, Luca?”
“Leandro will not harm you, true, but he’s the master of manipulation. I don’t want to take a chance.”
She traced the bridge of his nose with a finger, warmth settling in all the neglected pieces of her soul. “You’re doing that thing, Luca. That thing that I love you for not doing.”
Luca was sure his heart had stopped for a second. “What is it?”
“Other than what you’re doing now?” the minx whispered saucily against his mouth.
He laughed. “What is the other thing, then?”
“You never used to tell me what I could or should do. You only used to say get on with it, cara mia. Now you are like the rest of them. You want to change me.”
If there was ever a warning put so perfectly, Luca didn’t know what it could be. He was becoming someone else with Sophia. He had had so many lovers and he’d never been possessive of anyone.
And yet, with Sophia, the urge to protect, to possess, was primal.
He knew why, too. She made him like himself. Gave him a different definition. Beyond what he’d been predetermined by genes and history.
He saw someone else when he looked in the mirror these days. He saw the man Sophia saw. The man who evoked that slow but saucy smile when her gaze flicked to him across the boardroom, the soft flush that dusted her cheeks when he passed by and made sure he touched her amidst a crowd, the man who gave her that flushed and well-loved look when she came, the man she’d held tight when she was finally on her way to saving Rossi’s from sure ruin.
The man she looked at with such fierce protectiveness when she thought he didn’t know. The man she kissed when she thought he was finally asleep after seeing him walk around like a ghost. Just for her peace of mind, he’d pretended a couple of times, stayed with her until the worry for him cleared from her brow.
It was addictive, exhilarating, how she made him think of himself.
“I would never change you, Sophia. But Antonio has a habit of ruining things. And I won’t always be here to shield you from him or his pack.”
That was what had bothered him since Alex had told him. In his reckless need to have her, he’d made her a lot of enemies and robbed her of her one true friend.
“Then why not tell him that my advisory capacity for your stock is only temporary?”
Because he didn’t mean for it to be. The idea took root, digging deep.
“Luca...”
“Now for the real reason I came here,” he said, filling his hands wi
th her breasts.
She laughed, her eyes wide, her breath already erratic. A voluptuous Venus. “Margie—”
“Margie cleverly disappeared.”
“Luca...this is my first week working with members of CLG, in a new office. Your brother, your grandfather, they all work here... We can’t just...”
“The question is...do you want me, cara mia?”
“Yes. I’m a little ashamed that I always want to say yes, Luca. It’s setting a bad precedent between us, isn’t it?”
“There’s nothing to be ashamed about, tesoro. We... Our bodies were made for this...” He snuck his hands under her blouse and reached the hard tip. Lifting one lush breast, he took the nipple in his mouth through the silk of her blouse. He bit on the distended tip and suckled.
A moan fell from her throat. She muttered something filthy. He’d never been so hard and so amused at the same time.
Luca pulled her skirt up, thanked the man who invented thongs and touched her between her legs. She was utterly ready for him.
He pushed his fingers up and down the crease of her folds, played with the swollen little bud there, keenly aware of every hiss of her breath, of every shift in her body.
“Oh, Lord...” Tiny shivers shook her frame. He buried his face in one shoulder and tasted the salt of her. Sweat made her skin soft and damp.
“I wish you would say my name. It is my fingers deep inside you.” He hooked his fingers and swirled them in tune with his words.
She rewarded him with a groan that sent a flare of heat over every inch of him. His erection pushed against his trousers. “Oh...you...arrogant, conceited... Luca... I need...”
He took the tender skin between his teeth and suckled while he penetrated her lush heat with two fingers. She convulsed against him, pushing her wetness against his fingers. “What do you need, cara mia?”
“You. Inside me. Now.”
Lifting her up, he unzipped his trousers and freed himself.
Cheeks flushed, irises dilated, wide mouth bee-stung, she took him inside her. Luca felt a deeply primal satisfaction as he glided deep into her invitingly slick heat. Like a glove, her flesh closed around him and his head went back with a groan.