While he washed, she flicked through the biography he had given her but found it hard to get interested in the war movie director’s early days. Then she very carefully opened the chocolates. She hoped she would be able to sneak one chocolate out then reseal the box so that Jon didn’t notice she’d started without him, but the chocolates inside weren’t the kind you could rearrange to conceal the fact that one was missing.
Kirsty ate one anyway. If you can’t eat chocolate on Christmas Day … She thought about Jon’s mother and sisters, all refusing the chocolate mints after lunch. All patting their non-existent bellies. Making her wish she’d refused chocolate as well.
Discipline, Kirsty. Discipline.
It was hard to be disciplined when you were feeling so grumpy.
Kirsty knew there were people who thought that Christmas was a big deal and there were people who didn’t. There were people who thought gifts were important and there were those who showed their love in other ways. Jon was not the kind of person who would ever be good at gifts, Kirsty reminded herself. For her birthday, he had bought her a model of the cruise ship they were working on. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care for her. For Jon, showing he cared was about making sure Kirsty ate properly. It was about making sure she gave her all every time she stepped onto the stage. Jon wanted to give her something that would endure far longer than sexy lingerie or some silver knick-knack from Tiffany.
But a silver knick-knack from Tiffany would have been nice.
Jon came out of the bathroom.
‘I nearly forgot!’ he said. ‘There’s one more present.’
Kirsty’s heart fluttered to the top of her rib cage. One more present. She knew Jon wouldn’t really have got her such an unromantic bunch of rubbish as her Christmas gift. He’d been stringing her along all day. Now for the romantic part. Of course he wasn’t just going to give her a box of chocolates and a book.
He looked very pleased with himself as he returned to the living room with another flat package. Kirsty’s mind raced through the possibilities. It was the right shape for a box containing a necklace, perhaps. Had Jon secretly taken note when she admired those pretty necklaces in the window of Chillings?
She knew as soon as she took the package into her hands that he hadn’t. It was obvious that it contained not a box but a paperback from the weight and the way it was slightly bendy. But there was still a chance that the content of the book would make everything all right. Maybe it was a script from a play that meant something to them both. Maybe it was poetry. Maybe it was a travel guide with two tickets somewhere sunny tucked inside.
‘Oh. It’s the 5:2 cookbook!’
‘Yeah. I don’t know about you but I’m getting fed-up with eating salmon and salad all the time. I thought we could take it in turns to do new recipes from this.’
Take it in turns?
Well, at least he wasn’t proposing that the kitchen was entirely her domain.
‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘This will be useful.’
The day really couldn’t get any better, Kirsty thought. Thank goodness it was time for bed.
Chapter Sixty-Six
While Kirsty was with the Manleys, Ben, Thea and Judy spent their Christmas Day at home. Jo’s parents lived in Australia and would be coming to visit the UK in late January, when flights were cheaper. They gave their Christmas greetings via Skype first thing in the morning, which was already evening in Melbourne.
Ben was secretly glad that he only had to deal with his little family on Christmas Day. Jo’s parents were wonderful, but having anyone other than Judy and Thea meant that Ben would have to be on his best behaviour and there were moments when that still felt like a strain.
The day started with gifts. Thea had bought a gift for Buster from her own pocket money and insisted the dog open that gift first. Buster was delighted with his new toy. The rest of the family were slightly less excited about the squeaky rubber squirrel, whose squeak-box seemed to take much longer to break than usual. Buster generally had such things silenced within five minutes but the squirrel’s squeak lasted all sodding morning. In fact, Ben solved the problem by distracting Buster with a piece of turkey before whisking the squirrel straight into the cupboard beneath the kitchen sink.
Thea herself had produced a short but very specific Christmas list. At the top was a pair of roller skates, which Ben rashly promised to help her use straight after lunch. He was certain that an afternoon of grazed knees lay ahead but, to his surprise, Thea took to them quite quickly. He wondered if it was the dancing she’d been doing with the NEWTS that had improved her coordination.
The other gift she’d asked for was a CD by the latest boy band. Hearing that for the third time, Ben and Judy were surprised to discover that there was something even more annoying than the squee and eek of a rubberised squirrel.
Meanwhile, Ben gave Judy a cashmere scarf and matching gloves. It was what she asked for year in year out. She liked to wrap up in the colour of the season. That year was a dusty pink. In return Judy gave Ben two tickets to see a play in London in February.
‘You’ll come with me, of course,’ he said.
‘No,’ said Judy. ‘I shall be here looking after Thea. I am giving you these tickets on the strict condition that you go to the theatre with somebody else.’
‘Somebody else?’
‘Yes. You can choose. Though if you want suggestions …’
Ben rolled his eyes at that. ‘Yes, Mum.’
‘The tree looks really lovely,’ Judy continued in what seemed like a non-sequitur but definitely wasn’t. ‘Kirsty certainly has an artistic touch. Where is she spending Christmas anyway? She doesn’t have family in Newbay, does she? You should have asked her to come here.’
‘She’s spending Christmas with her boyfriend, Mum. Jon? The one who’s directing the panto.’
‘Him?’ Judy scoffed. ‘He’s nothing serious.’
‘She had a job in the Caribbean lined up for this winter but she followed Jon back to Newbay. You don’t get much more serious than that.’
‘Or stupid,’ said Judy. ‘But at least it brought her to Newbay.’
‘Where she’s living with her boyfriend,’ Ben reiterated for his mum.
Judy knew when to shut up. For the moment.
Once Thea had grown tired of her new roller skates, she joined Ben, Judy and Buster in front of the television for sandwiches made from the turkey leftovers from lunch. Judy had cleaned up the wishbone and saved it for her granddaughter, who loved the tradition of breaking it and making a wish (no matter whether she got the bigger piece or not). That afternoon, she did get the bigger piece. Her eyes sparkled as she anticipated her reward – the chance to wish for whatever she wanted. But what did she want?
‘You’ve got your roller skates already,’ said Judy. ‘And your boy band album.’
‘Oh, I’m not going to waste this wish on anything like that,’ said Thea, looking vaguely insulted that her grandmother would think her so shallow. ‘Like Daddy says when he’s doing Buttons, wishes always work better if you make them for someone else.’
It was Thea’s favourite line from the show. It had been Ben’s too, when it heralded a slow waltz with Kirsty back in the days when they flirted.
‘So who are you going to make a wish for?’ Ben asked.
‘For you, Daddy.’
She didn’t need to say ‘of course’.
‘And what are you going to wish for me?’
‘Will it still come true if I say it out loud?’ Thea asked her grandmother, who was the font of all wisdom when it came to superstition and magic.
‘It will,’ said Judy, who naturally didn’t really believe in any of it.
‘Then I wish for Daddy to be happy again … And to find a new girlfriend.’
The lump that had been forming in Ben’s throat was gone in an instant.
‘Are you and Grandma in this together?’ he asked.
Chapter Sixty-Seven
When the cast reassemble
d ahead of the Boxing Day performance, everybody was determined to make sure the local paper’s critic was proven wrong. As Lauren walked into the rehearsal room, her colleagues gave her a standing ovation. Annette enfolded her into a hug.
‘Oh, my sweet girl,’ she said. ‘How beastly we’ve all been. I feel one hundred per cent hashtag ashamed. Will you forgive me?’
When she heard that, Lauren was almost overcome with emotion. Especially when George and Andrew Giggle revealed that while Lauren was recuperating from her sleeping tablet horror, they’d been to Chillings to buy her a bottle of her favourite perfume.
‘We know we went too far with teasing you,’ said George. ‘We’re sorry. We should have been more sensitive.’
‘Oh, that’s OK. I know some of what I did made me well worth teasing,’ Lauren responded graciously. ‘Hashtag really irritating.’
‘We hope you’ll like the perfume,’ said Andrew. ‘But we got you these as well.’
Andrew flourished a bouquet of flowers.
‘Oh, they’re lovely!’ Lauren exclaimed.
‘And they smell really good,’ said George. ‘Have a sniff.’
Lauren leaned in. Whereupon she got a squirt of water in the face. Andrew had hidden a fake flower attached to a plastic bulb full of water among the real blooms.
‘Good job I’m not wearing my make-up yet,’ said Lauren, taking the bouquet and using it to whack George and Andrew around the shoulders. Playfully. Sort of.
Once everyone was together and Lauren had dried her face, Jon had a few suggestions to make the show even better.
His notes for Lauren were gentle.
‘Ignore any old bags in the first four rows. I’ll have them ejected in the interval.’
His notes for Vince were—
‘Where’s Vince?’
‘He’s promised he’ll be here,’ said Bernie. And indeed he would be. With just five minutes to go before he was meant to be on stage.
‘Bernie,’ Jon continued. ‘You were great. Just keep sparkling. Ugly Sisters, try not to look so utterly bored when you don’t have any lines.’
George and Andrew feigned dismay at that. Then went back to looking utterly bored while Jon finished his speech.
‘Annette, we need more evil. At the moment you’re just too … too hot.’
‘I’ll take that,’ Annette smouldered.
‘And, Ben, I don’t know what happened in your big scene with Kirsty last week but it didn’t seem to have the same energy as in rehearsals. You were too far apart. You’ve got to be closer together. Buttons’ unrequited love for Cinderella is by far the most important sub-plot. He’s the classic clown. All laughs on the surface but underneath there’s melancholy. We want to see that yearning. We want the audience to wonder if Cinders should really be with Prince Charming after all. We want to keep them guessing until the last minute as to whether Cinderella is going to say “yes” when the shoe fits.’
Kirsty tried not to look at Ben while Jon was talking.
‘OK,’ said Ben. ‘Stand closer. I’ve got it.’
‘Show me now,’ said Jon, putting a hand on the small of Kirsty’s back and practically pushing her into Ben’s arms.
There was something in Jon’s eyes as he did it. Something challenging.
But then Elaine announced that everyone had just forty-five minutes to get dressed and made up.
Kirsty watched Ben go over to Lauren as the cast drifted off to their respective dressing rooms.
‘I’m glad you’re back,’ he told her. ‘You were great the other night. I thought you looked beautiful. You look even more beautiful now I can actually see you properly.’
‘Without all my make-up, you mean?’ Lauren asked.
‘Well … Yeah,’ said Ben.
‘Coming from you, I’m going to take that as a compliment.’
And because she wasn’t covered in slap, Kirsty could see Lauren going slightly red and her gaze was soft upon Ben’s face, suggesting that suddenly she could see Ben properly too.
According to Twitter, the Boxing Day performance was hashtag great.
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Of course, as soon as Jane heard that Kirsty was going to be in the panto, she made arrangements to come and see her perform. Jane was the very first person to buy tickets for the production, getting two for 28th December. She would be bringing Rob. Kirsty suggested they stay with her and Jon in the flat, but Jane insisted they would stay in a hotel to save any trouble, and when the day came around Kirsty secretly was glad Jane had made that decision. Jon was not in the mood to entertain anyone while they were in the middle of the run.
Kirsty and Jon were supposed to join Jane and Rob for supper after the show. In the event, only Kirsty went along. Jon turned up to meet Kirsty’s friends briefly, in the bar, but he looked so stressed-out they didn’t argue with him when he said that he needed to get home and have an early night. He hoped they would understand and wouldn’t think he was being rude.
Kirsty thought he was being rude but she didn’t say so.
‘Have a great time at the bistro,’ said Jon. ‘It’s one of the best places in town.’
‘Thanks,’ said Jane.
‘Just don’t go too mad on the bread. It’s addictive.’
‘It really is,’ said Kirsty.
‘Fast day,’ Jon whispered in her ear as he kissed her goodbye.
In the restaurant, as Jane and Rob recounted the details of their first Christmas together, Kirsty couldn’t help but feel envious. It wasn’t just that her Christmas had been rubbish by comparison. They were so in tune with one another. They finished each other’s sentences. They were a proper double act. Kirsty knew she wasn’t like that with Jon. She never finished his sentences because there was no way he would allow anyone to interrupt when he was in full flow. He was the master of the monologue. Their relationship was no duet. She was beginning to wonder if it ever had been.
‘And look what I found under the tree.’
Jane held out her left hand towards Kirsty. Kirsty didn’t have to look to know what Jane was showing her. It was a ring, of course. A beautiful, perfect ring. A platinum band set with a diamond in the shape of a heart. Until that moment, Jane had hidden the ring under her fingerless gloves.
‘Apart from our parents, you’re the first person to hear the news,’ Jane said. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you over the phone. I just thought it would be more fun to tell you when we were together, face to face.’
‘Oh, Jane,’ said Kirsty. ‘Oh, Rob. This is wonderful.’
‘I’m glad you think so,’ said Rob. ‘Jane did tell me that her “yes” was conditional on your approval.’
‘As if I wouldn’t approve of my best friend marrying someone as lovely as you.’ Kirsty reached across the table to grab Jane and Rob’s hands. ‘You’ve made my Christmas,’ she said. ‘Seeing Jane so happy is the best present in the world.’
Kirsty meant it. She wanted nothing but happiness for Jane. No one deserved it more. Still, tears prickled Kirsty’s eyes and she wasn’t entirely sure they were ‘happy tears’. She felt something welling up inside her that threatened to spoil the moment in a horrible, snorting, sobbing way.
‘Act,’ she said to herself. ‘Act happy, for god’s sake.’
She pressed her napkin to her eyes.
‘I’m getting all emotional,’ she said. ‘I’m just so pleased for you both.’
Fortunately, Jane and Rob were so wrapped up in their blissful newly engaged state, they didn’t question Kirsty’s reaction.
‘Oh, you silly goose,’ said Jane. ‘Will you stop crying if I ask you to be my bridesmaid?’
‘No!’ said Kirsty from behind her napkin. ‘That’s going to make me cry even more!’ She managed a manic laugh at the same time to show that she was joking. She allowed the napkin to peel away from her face just a little and saw that it was streaked with the remains of the make-up she’d been wearing on stage.
‘I must look like a panda,’ she sai
d. ‘I’m going to sort my face out.’
She fled for the ladies’. She stayed there for as long as she thought reasonable. She would tell Jane and Rob there had been a queue.
She just wanted to be purely and simply happy for her friend. Tonight wasn’t about her. Her and Jon. In many ways, it was better that Jon hadn’t been with them when Jane flashed her ring. Kirsty would have lost it properly then. Because she knew now that they could never be as happy as Rob and Jane were.
Chapter Sixty-Nine
When Kirsty emerged from the ladies’, Jane and Rob were still holding hands across the table and gazing into each other’s eyes as though they were the only two people in the world. Kirsty felt her heart squeeze but she plastered on a big smile as she walked towards them and further deflected attention from how she was feeling by getting out her phone to snap a picture of the lovebirds.
‘Jane’s like a sister to me so that makes you my new brother,’ she said.
‘I knew you’d be pleased,’ said Jane. ‘I’m so glad. Your opinion is more important to me than anyone’s.’
‘Likewise. I would never marry a man you hadn’t expressly approved of.’
An odd look passed across Jane’s face.
‘Oh look! There’s Buttons!’ she said suddenly.
Kirsty swivelled in her seat to see where Jane was pointing. She was right. There was Ben at the bar. With Lauren.
‘Call him over,’ said Jane.
‘No,’ said Kirsty. ‘He’s with Lauren. They might be on a date.’
She was surprised by how uncomfortable that made her feel.
It was already too late. Lauren had spotted Jane gesturing towards them and nudged Ben to let him know Kirsty was in the restaurant. Ben turned towards her and smiled. Jane beckoned them over.
‘Come and join us,’ she called.
A Fairy Tale for Christmas Page 25