“Oh.” Jessa’s sympathy was visible. Finn had to agree. He wasn’t thrilled that he was ruled by the moon, but he thought Hollis had the worst of it. “And if you treat the arrhythmia”
“I change.” Hollis shook his head.
“So he has no interest in treating it,” Dante said.
“Can you blame him?” Finn asked.
Dante shrugged. “It’s not all bad. I’d rather be hunting something down that fainting like a girl.” He grinned at Hollis before asking, “Speaking of girls. How are you feeling, Jessa?”
Finn glanced at Dante, noting the smile on his face—and Ander’s and Hollis’s. He sighed.
“Oh, and, welcome to the family,” Anders said. “Glad Finn’s decided to keep you. If he didn’t, Dante and I were planning to—”
“Stop now.” His tone was short and hard.
“I’m glad, too,” she said. “Thank you. And thank you for taking care of Oscar. Now, anyone hungry?”
“You shouldn’t be cooking,” Hollis argued. “You should be resting.”
Anders laughed. “Long night?”
Dante grinned. “Guess you still know how to let the wolf take charge after all, eh, Finn?”
“I can cook,” Jessa said, her cheeks red.
“May I share?” Hollis asked, glancing between him and Jessa. “It might be useful information if they find a mate.”
Finn looked at Jessa. Hollis had a point. Anders and Dante—hell, even Hollis—might want a heads-up that they’d put the one they loved most through agony to claim them. She frowned at him, but Finn nodded.
“The bond between them was cemented by a shared wound,” Hollis said.
Anders frowned, and Dante glared at Finn. “What the fuck did you do?” Dante snapped.
Hollis held up his hands. “Nothing. But once they’d…mated…Finn’s wound—the one that turned him—appeared on Jessa.”
Anders and Dante stared at Jessa.
“No shit?” Anders asked.
Jessa finished adding pasta to the water and held up her shirt. “No shit,” she said, smiling at him.
“Did it…did you feel it?” Dante’s question was thick. “Or did it just appear?”
Finn stared at the floor, understanding what he was asking. Dante’s arm…the pain he’d suffered. How could he do that to someone? Willingly put them through that?
“Jessa?” Hollis asked.
“There was pain,” she said, but she didn’t add anything. She focused on their dinner.
Fifteen minutes later, they gathered around the large kitchen table. Jessa’s mountain of spaghetti and meatballs disappeared rapidly. Conversation was teasing, reminding him just how important these men were to him. They were his friends, yes. But their wolves made them family, a pack he was proud to be a part of. They were here. And for that, he was thankful. All families had their shit.
By the time dinner was over, it was nearing nine. And, as much as he hated to leave them, he wasn’t ready to change in front of her.
Oscar was fussing, something he rarely did. Finn could tell Jessa was worried—so was he. But there was nothing he could do. Being so helpless killed him.
“She’s waiting this out in your room?” Hollis asked.
Finn nodded.
“I need to clean up,” Jessa said, eyeing the dishes.
Finn shook his head. “It’ll wait.”
He followed Jessa to their room, watching her cradle Oscar in her arms and offer him his bottle. She smiled, so in love with his son that his heart swelled. He lingered, ignoring the prick and pull of change on his skin. He didn’t want to leave her. It felt wrong.
“I’ll see you soon,” he said.
She nodded. “Be safe.”
He crossed the room and kissed her, leaving her breathless. “I’m close by.” He slipped the medallion off and handed it to her. “Keep it safe for me?”
She nodded.
It took everything he had to leave the room. But keeping her inside, with Oscar, was the only thing that made sense. He wanted to believe that Anders and Dante offered no threat, but they’d never had someone outside the pack there before. Yes, she was his mate, and Oscar was his son, but he wasn’t ready to risk their allegiance, or put them in harm’s way.
“I’ll stay with her,” Hollis said. “Oscar?”
“He’s going to turn.” Finn could feel the energy in his son.
“If I need to separate them?” Hollis asked.
He shook his head. “Whatever it takes, keep them safe.”
Hollis nodded and closed the door, locking the deadbolt.
He lingered outside, pacing back and forth. He had to believe they would be safe.
“Come on, Finn,” Dante called. “You’ll do more good protecting them than worrying over them.”
Finn nodded.
“Besides, between Hollis and your pup, I’d say she’s got a rock-solid security team.” Anders clapped him on the shoulder. “Man, I can’t wait to run tonight.”
The three of them stripped down. Anders tossed his clothes on the floor while Finn and Dante folded theirs. When they stood on the front porch, Finn welcomed the pull of change. The scent of the pines flooded his nose, along with the winter wind, a distant elk, and the highway miles beyond that. His eyesight sharpened, aided by a million stars and the glow of a perfect white moon.
He gave the others a brief nod and headed into the trees, the rip and snap of change starting immediately. He fell forward, his hands curling in, nails slicing through the knuckles into long claws. He relaxed, easing the dislocation of his jaw, the lengthening of his bones and teeth, the stretch and tug of his muscles. His skin gave easily, tearing as his thick brown coat covered him from paw to tail. Each vertebra popped into place, his shoulders collapsing in as his chest bowed forward. His senses sharpened, noting each bug and bird, the scents of Anders’s and Dante’s wolves, the sound of Jessa humming to Oscar inside the cabin.
He swallowed, staring at the orange glow of her window.
His wolf listened to her, aching to go to her. To be with his son.
Instead, he ran, letting his paws carry him to the far perimeter. Anders’s wolf greeted him, climbing all over him in eagerness. Finn snapped at him and set off, knowing Anders would follow. They circled the refuge twice before meeting Dante. His greeting was more subdued, but he was happy to be free—to be a wolf—for now.
The refuge wolves were timid, needing time to reacquaint themselves with them, make sure there was no threat. Finn waited until he saw the pack alpha then perked up, throwing back his head to howl his greeting to the others. He was home with his mate and son. And he wanted them all to know it.
Chapter Eleven
Jessa set the bottle on the side table, unable to stop the slight shiver that ran down her spine as another chorus of howls filled the night.
Hollis grinned at her. “It’s unnerving.”
She nodded. “It’s a greeting?” she asked, patting Oscar’s back until he gave her a large burp.
“Finn’s saying hello.” He looked at her.
She smiled, turning her attention to Oscar. He was asleep, his little mouth nursing in his dreams. “I’ll let him sleep.” She carried him to the crib and laid him down, covering him with a blanket.
“How’s the scar?” he asked.
She sat in the rocking chair, ridiculously tired for someone who’d slept most of the day. “I’m fine. Sore, but fine.”
“I told Finn it probably wouldn’t have happened if he’d used a condom,” Hollis sighed.
A condom. She pressed her eyes shut. No condom. They’d been so lost in each other. She swallowed. “Wh-why?”
“I have a theory it’s biochemical,” Hollis said. “You and he mixed on a cellular level. I don’t think you’ll become a wolf—he didn’t bite you. But I do think the bond between you was forged because there was no…protection. May I ask a question?”
He didn’t think she’d become a wolf? Did that mean there was a chance? “I
think so,” she answered, reeling.
He smiled. “I’m a scientist, Jessa.” He leaned forward, steepling his fingers and resting his chin on his thumbs before he asked, “How did it feel? Being bonded? I think I can understand how Finn might feel, considering we’re all tied together. But you, as a…non-wolf.” He shook his head. “I’m very curious.”
“I’m not sure I can explain it adequately. It’s like I’m tangled up in him? His thoughts, memories—things I’ve never felt or heard or seen but are somehow now familiar. And…” She broke off. “I crave him. Even now, when I know he’s close, I miss him. Very much. It almost hurts.”
Hollis nodded. “The scar?”
She shook her head.
“Pain?” he asked.
She hesitated. “Doctor-patient confidentiality?”
He nodded.
“It was horrible.”
“Did it mimic his accident? The puncture?”
“I wasn’t there when it happened to him, so I don’t know, but it hurt like hell when it happened to me,” she said.
“I suspected as much. Sometimes sleep is the only way a body can process pain.” He looked at her, then. “Why did you agree?”
“I love him, maybe ever since I walked into his office. I’ve been drawn to him from the beginning. I belong to him.” It was true. “I never imagined he might care for me.”
Hollis laughed. “Care for you? We only have glimpses of what he’s feeling and thinking. But I assure you, what we’ve felt is beyond understanding.”
She liked the sound of that. She smiled, staring into the fire. “Can I ask you a question?”
He nodded.
“Does it bother you? That you can’t change?”
He shrugged. “I’ve never thought about it. I remember waiting, dreading it along with the others that first time. But seeing what they went through cured me of ever wanting to experience it. I like to be in control.”
“And when you’re a wolf, you’re not?” she asked.
“Not always,” he explained. “You’re driven by instinct. You’re an animal.”
An animal. “You’re not you?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Finn said it’s like being on steroids. His reaction is faster, stronger, less cautious. Instinct rules. He’s aware but not always able to stop the wolf from doing things he’d never do.”
She couldn’t imagine it. Finn was a measured man. His life and his work put him in a place of ultimate control. No wonder he fought the change—and his wolf. At the same time, if Cyrus was coming for them, maybe Finn needed to let his wolf take charge.
The howls started again. “That sounds different.” She glanced at Hollis, the surprise on his face drawing her to her feet. “What is it?”
Hollis stood as well, his face hardening. “Mal is here.”
“Malachi? Isn’t that good?” she asked, curious. Finn would be happy. Even though he’d only mentioned him a few times, it was clear he and Mal had been close, and Finn felt his absence.
Hollis shook his head. “Stay here.” He headed for the door.
Maybe it was the look on Hollis’s face, or the sudden eerie quiet from outside, but Jessa knew something was very wrong. Oscar must have sensed it, too. His thin wail startled her, breaking off before he cried out with more gusto. She hurried to the crib.
“Oscar,” she whispered, staring at the restlessly sleeping baby. But it wasn’t the Oscar she knew. In his place was a small gray wolf, curled into a tiny ball. Small ears, small tail, and shiny black nose. “Oh, Oscar.” She’d known there was a chance. But… Tears stung her eyes as she gripped the side of the crib.
“He’ll be fine, Jessa.” Hollis patted her hand. “Let him sleep.”
She stared at Oscar, wanting to hold him close. Wolf or not, he was a baby. Her baby. She reached into the crib, stroking thick, soft fur instead of baby-soft skin.
“I need to go make sure Finn and Mal don’t kill each other,” he said before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
It took a few minutes for Hollis’s words to sink in, but by then he was gone and she was staring at the thick wooden door. “Kill each other?”
Finn and Mal were friends. Finn was his alpha. Wasn’t he? She was tired of questions. Of not knowing. But then, she was so new to this world. Finn and his pack were still discovering things, and they’d been this way for ten years.
The wind picked up, carrying the sound of movement outside. The howling started again, breaking off suddenly, followed by a menacing growl. Whatever warm welcome Finn had issued minutes before was gone. The sound of fighting was unmistakable, even to Jessa.
Oscar whimpered, his agitation increasing as the sounds grew louder. He curled tighter, his paws drawn in and his nose buried. She placed her hand on his back, marveling once more at the transformation.
The noises outside grew more fearsome. Surely it wasn’t Finn’s pack. It must be the wolves. Maybe they sensed something.
But what?
Last she’d heard, Cyrus and the Others had no idea Finn’s pack was here. The only thing they’d had to fear was the moon, and now, that was over.
“It’s okay, Oscar.” she soothed, hoping she was right. Oscar’s heartbeat raced beneath her palm. When she lifted her hand, he whimpered and fussed.
She picked him up, smiling as his wet nose pressed against her collarbone. She wrapped the blanket around him and carried him to the bed. He lay, his eyes barely open, and yawned widely. Even as a wolf pup, he was the most precious baby she’d ever seen. She lay beside him, pulling him close against her stomach and humming softly. She ran her hand down his back in slow, gentle strokes until he eased back into a deep sleep. He was soft and sweet and helpless. He made the same sounds he always did, the same muscle twitches and full body stretches, even if he was no longer human. She rested a hand on his back. As much as it hurt her heart to know this was what his life would be, she couldn’t deny she was relieved he’d made the change so easily.
“Sweet dreams, little man,” she murmured.
It was silent. Too silent. While Oscar slept easily, she was nervous and on edge. Hollis should have been back by now.
“We’re safe,” she assured Oscar, assured herself. “Everything’s okay.”
But the longer they were alone, the more she wondered. What if the Others had found them? Was Cyrus here? Or Thomas? She shook her head. No, Finn would protect them. No matter what, she believed that.
The slight clicking on wood made her stiffen. She hadn’t heard the door open, but she tensed, certain she and Oscar were no longer alone. Every instinct told her to move, but where the hell was she supposed to go? Should she run? Take Oscar and hide?
She sat up quickly, her heart in her throat, and came eye to eye with the biggest wolf she had ever seen. Her hands gripped the edge of the bed as she leaned back, digging deep for calm and strength.
The wolf stepped forward, its ears cocked toward her, its eyes fixed on her face. It had the bluest eyes—just like Finn’s. She swallowed, her hold easing on the mattress and her heart rate slowing. The wolf stepped forward, a soft whimper rising from his broad chest.
It was Finn.
His blue eyes were unmistakable. The way he looked at her was unmistakable. “Hi,” she whispered. He leaned into her, rubbing his face along her jaw, burying his nose in her hair. She wrapped her arms around him, her fear evaporating.
Oscar squeaked, and Finn stepped away from her, his nose scenting the air around Oscar. He cocked his head to the side, a soft whimper in his throat. Jessa lifted the blanket so he could see his son. Finn made an odd noise at the back of his throat, his blue eyes returning to her.
“He’s sleeping. He’s fine.” She marveled at how easy it was to have a one-sided conversation with a wolf—a wolf whose shoulder was bleeding. “Are you okay?” she asked, reaching for him without thought.
He shoved his head under her hand, leaning into her touch with a groan.
She smiled. “I’ll take that
as a yes.” She slid her fingers through the thick, soft fur.
He climbed up beside her, his massive frame dwarfing the bed. He sniffed Oscar, nudging her onto the bed with his nose. She complied, sinking back against the pillows. He waited until she was still then lay across the end of the bed, covering her bare feet with his fur. She looked at him, exhaustion seeping in.
When had this become her life?
What would happen when the real world crept back in?
They had to go back to San Antonio at some point. Her brothers—she was thankful they were oblivious to all this.
In a matter of weeks, her everything had completely changed. She loved this man, this wolf, and his son. Even if the monster hunting them made her blood run cold.
She draped her arm over her eyes, trying to block out the memory of Thomas.
Finn nudged her foot with his nose. He waited until she looked at him then rested his muzzle on his paws, his blue eyes regarding her steadily. She reached out, her fingers sinking into the thick fur of his back, and closed her eyes.
…
Finn watched her sleep. He lay, human and naked and wrapped around her, his chin resting on the swell of her hip. He needed to wake her up, to hide her and Oscar before the Others arrived. But he couldn’t do it. She was peaceful. No hint of fear or worry troubled her. They had time. When she woke, everything would change—again.
Because of Malachi. Stupid, reckless, arrogant son of a bitch.
He sucked in a deep breath, frustration and anger tempting his wolf. But when he touched Jessa, the contact instantly soothed his need to fight. At least he’d taken a solid hunk out of Mal’s haunch—made sure Mal knew who was alpha, no matter how much Mal resented it. If Dante and Anders hadn’t jumped in the middle of it—he didn’t want to think about that. As mad as he was, he didn’t want to kill Mal. But his wolf sure as hell didn’t mind teaching him a lesson.
Oscar yawned, his little fist rising into the air as he stretched in his sleep.
Finn smiled, holding the small hand in his.
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