My forehead wrinkled in confusion as he walked to the closed door to my sewing room. There was a duffle bag on the ground with NYPD screened along the side. When he bent down and retrieved whatever was inside, I got a little peek at the box and squealed in delight.
“Thought you’d be swayed by these,” he chuckled as he turned around, an industrial-sized box of Little Debbie oatmeal crème pies in his hands.
“Gimme, gimme, gimme!” I made the universal sign for grabby hands as I hopped from foot to foot excitedly.
He tossed the box to me and I proceeded to rip it open and shove one of the cookie sandwiches in my mouth. “Oh, my God. It’s so good,” I groaned, although it came out sounding something like Mmmaguhd. Issogud seeing as my mouth was full.
He just smiled as I stuffed my face, finally reaching down to button up his pants and fix his belt. “So…” I began, starting to feel a little tense. You know, that awkwardness that happens once the sex between you and the man you aren’t in a relationship with is over, and you’re not really sure if you should instigate meaningless small talk or head for the nearest exit.
Apparently I was the only one that suffered from such debilitating situations, because Griffin just carried on like it was nothing out of the ordinary for him. Which, taking his reputation into consideration, I guess it wasn’t.
And….. now I’m feeling insecure again. Just great.
“What’s that?” Griffin asked. Shaking off my reverie I looked to where he was pointing. Now that the attraction between the two of us had been sated, at least temporarily, Griffin’s tunnel vision had expanded and he looked around the room in curiosity, taking everything from my drawings to my completed pieces in.
“That,” I stated, walking over to the mannequin form that was covered in the dress I’d been working on for months, “is something I’ve been playing with ever since Rowan proposed to Navie.” I ran my fingertips along the scalloped lace edge of the bust in admiration. It was the one article of clothing I’d created that I was the most proud of.
“You’re making her a wedding dress?” His voice held a hint of awe as he moved to get a closer look. “Not that I know much about wedding dresses, but this is really pretty, Pep. Navie’s gonna love it.”
My entire body warmed at his compliment and I found myself smiling happily. “Thanks. But I’m not sure I’m even going to show it to her. I don’t want her to think I’m trying to push a dress on her if it’s not what she really wants, you know? I just got the picture in my mind when we started talking about her wedding and couldn’t help but start making it.”
“You should. Show her, I mean. You might be surprised.”
“Maybe,” I shrugged noncommittally.
Griffin turned from the wedding dress and scanned everything else in the room. “Damn, sweetness. I knew you had an eye for this kinda shit,” he waved an arm out wide, “but I had no clue you could do all this. You’re really good!”
A hint of embarrassment caused my cheeks to pink under his intense perusal. “Thank you,” I whispered with a nervous giggle, suddenly feeling like a teenager again.
Taking my bashfulness to his advantage, Griffin came close, grabbing hold of my wrists gently and tugged them behind my back, pinning me against his tall, muscular body. “So, when I call you tomorrow—and I will call you—are you gonna answer, or are we going to have to have another conversation where your ass is in danger of meeting my palm?”
I couldn’t help it, there was just something about his playful side, a side of him I hadn’t been witness to before now, a laugh worked its way up my throat before I could hold it in. “Gotta hand it to you, you’re a persistent jerk, aren’t you?”
His grip tightened around my wrists slightly as his face came closer to mine. “Only when I want something. And I’m nowhere near done with you, Pepper.”
My stomach flipped, my mouth grew dry. I’d wanted to hear those words from him for so long. That was why it crushed me so badly when I woke up alone after our night together years ago. But hearing them now was bittersweet, because no matter how much I tried to deny it, I still wanted him, but in ways that meant so much more than just physically. I was skating on dangerously thin ice, I knew that, but as I stood there, at risk of drowning in the frigid blue depth of his eyes, I couldn’t deny either of us what we wanted. Even if it was only a small fraction of what I’d craved for nearly a decade.
“This is just sex, Griffin.” My voice was insistent, but I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince more, him or me. “It isn’t anything more than that.” Even as I spoke, the words tasted bitter on my tongue, but I pushed on. “I’m attracted to you, I can’t deny that. But I still don’t like you.”
Lie, lie, lie, lie.
His easy going smile sent a sharp, stabbing pain through my heart. He was going to have no problem walking away when everything was said and done. Griffin Locklaine had no problem separating the physical and emotional. I just prayed I was able to do the same this time around, and hold on to my heart. “Well, that’s definitely a step up from hate, isn’t it, sweetness. But you still didn’t answer my question. You gonna answer when I call you?”
Unable to speak past the lump of excitement and dread that had suddenly formed in my throat, I gave him a small nod. When he leaned in and kissed me, it took everything I had not to melt into him.
This is just sex. Nothing more. Never anything more. Remember that, Pepper. I lectured myself, hoping against hope that it would stick and I wouldn’t find myself picking up any pieces of my broken heart.
Griffin hung around just long enough to help me lock up the boutique and wave down a cab. With one last quick press of the lips, he turned and headed in the opposite direction as I climbed into the waiting taxi and closed the door. The whole way home, one question played on a continuous loop in my head.
What the hell had I gotten myself into?
WHAT THE HELL HAD I gotten myself into?
I felt like I was spinning out of control and couldn’t do anything to stop it. And damn, but I didn’t want to. It was insane. It had been less than twenty-four hours and there hadn’t been a single second that she hadn’t been on my mind.
“Dude, are you just gonna stand there or are you planning on playing this game?” Rowan asked. I was in such a Pepper-filled daze that I hadn’t even realized I was standing there, completely motionless, until Rowan hit me in the chest with the basketball.
“Shit.”
“Where’s your head at, man? ‘Cause it’s sure as hell not in the game.”
“I’m good. Just slept shitty I guess.” Lies. All lies. I slept like a baby after having come harder than I ever have in my friggin’ life. Then I woke up humping my sheets thanks to Pepper invading my dreams.
“Bullshit,” Rowan cursed. “You act like a whiny little bitch when you’re tired. That’s not what this is. What’s up?”
“I think the real problem here is that you seem to have grown a vagina, Row.” When in doubt, deflect, deflect, deflect.
“Ah, shit,” he sighed, throwing his hands up in the air. That definitely hadn’t been the reaction I was expecting. “You fucked her, didn’t you?”
“What?” I shouted. “How the hell did you come up with that from me calling you a woman?! And Jesus, are you fuckin’ psychic or something? I’m seriously freaked out right now.”
He rolled his eyes like I was being ridiculous. “It’s not that hard to figure out, Griff. There are only two things that make you edgy like this. One’s work, something you’ve never had a problem talkin’ about. The other’s Pepper… or more specifically, when you fuck Pepper. Last time it happened you went silent for a week. Me and Dex thought God had blessed us with a miracle.” He shrugged. “You can imagine our disappointment.”
“Right now I’m seriously questioning my judgment for making you the one I told about that night,” I replied sarcastically.
“Who else were you gonna talk to? Dex?” He laughed. “Yeah, pretty sure this conversation w
ould be going differently, seeing as he’d have killed your ass four years ago.”
Damn it, I hated when the smug bastard had a point.
“For fuck’s sake, Griff, what’s your excuse this time? You were drunk again? Or how about you tripped and fell, and your dick “accidentally” landed in her?”
“First of all,” I cut him off. “Don’t you air quote me, asshole. And second, it’s not like that. I know I kinda freaked that first time, but this time it’s… different.”
He lifted a brow in skepticism. “Yeah? How so? You planning on going to her brother and announcing your intentions? Man, we both know you’re not that guy.” That burning in my gut at the start of his little tantrum only intensified the longer he continued to talk. I didn’t know if it was anger, or shame, or a combination of both that was setting my stomach on fire. “Commitment’s a four letter word to you, bro. This is Pepper we’re talkin’ about here, not one of your bar skanks. What’s gonna happen when you get sick of her? You can’t just—”
“I know!” I yelled, my voice echoing off the polished board of the court. “You think I don’t fucking know just how badly this could play out? And I know Pepper’s not like the others, I’m not a complete fuckin’ prick. But I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen because I haven’t got a goddamned clue! I didn’t plan this. It just… it just happened, man. Ever since we got back from Wyoming, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head.” I lifted my hands and ran them through my sweaty, damp hair in frustration. “I don’t know how it even happened, Row, but I can’t stop thinking about her. All the fuckin’ time. You know I haven’t been with another chick since we got back?”
“No shit?” he asked me with wide-eyed shock.
“No shit.”
“Christ, Griff. That was months ago!” The look I gave him screamed no fucking shit. “Damn,” he breathed. “I can’t believe you managed to go that long without killin’ someone.”
“You and me both,” I responded as I began to pace a small path in front of where he stood. “Look, I know it’s all kinds of fucked up, what I’m doing, but I tried not to, Rowan. I really did. I can’t tell you what the future’s gonna look like, but all I know is I’m not ready to stop what we’ve got going on. I need to know is that I can trust you not to let this out.” He looked beyond insulted at my insinuation that he wasn’t trustworthy. “That means not even to Navie,” I expressed. “Last thing I need is for her to get in Pepper’s business about this and spook her before I’ve had a chance to figure out what the hell’s going on between us. That girl feels the slightest bit of pressure, she’s gonna take off. And that’ll just piss me off.”
“All right, all right,” he relented, knowing that if he told Navie, the very first thing she’d do was run to Pepper and start digging for details. “I’m not gonna say anything. You can trust me. But…” he let out a deep sigh as he propped his hands on his hips. “Don’t let this turn ugly, Griffin. She’s tied just as tight to all of us.”
“I know. And I won’t.” I promised.
“Okay. Then let’s get the hell out of here. You’re playing for shit today and Pepper’s dropping off a tux for some fuckin’ benefit Navie’s dragging my ass to. And you know Pep’ll have my ass if I keep her waiting.”
I paused and looked at my cousin. “Pepper’s coming over?”
“Yep.”
The corners of my mouth curled up as I told him, “figured I’d stop by your place for a cup of coffee. You know, since it’s so close and all.”
Rowan shot me a knowing grin. “Yeah. Figured you might.”
Past
HOLY SHIT! WHAT’S HE doing here? Dex didn’t say anything about bringing him!
It was official, I was freaking the hell out. Not only was I under stress because Fire & Ice was opening its doors to the public for the first time tomorrow morning, but Griffin Locklaine had just walked into the party me and my staff were hosting in celebration. I hadn’t seen him since I was eighteen years old. My entire body lit up the moment he walked through the door.
“Who. Is. That?” my friend Tomas asked. He and I had just recently met when he came in to interview with me and hit it off instantly. We were like kindred spirits. He as the Jack to my Karen. He was flamboyant, loud, blunt, and hit on every single person with a dick. Which was why he was currently standing beside me, looking Griffin up and down like he was his own personal lollypop.
“My brother’s partner,” I answered, unable to take my eyes off of him. It was ridiculous how much more handsome he got every time I saw him.
“Mmm, mmm, mmm,” he hummed. “A man like that’s enough to make me believe a power higher than the three deities we gays worship to.”
“And who would that be?” I asked as I turned from Griffin to face Tomas.
“Duh,” he exaggerated. “Adele, Beyoncé, and the one and only…” he paused for dramatic emphasis, “…Madonna.”
My head fell back on a loud laugh. “Of course you do!” I giggled, feeling the champagne start to loosen my entire body from the inside out.
“Well, look at you.” I choked on my laughter at the sound of Griffin’s voice behind me. When my eyes met his, I saw a look I’d memorized the first time I saw it, only it hadn’t been directed at me. I was never on the receiving end of that look. And, oh how I had wished I could have been.
“Uh… h-hi,” I stuttered nervously. “Dex didn’t tell me you were coming with him.”
I looked around for my brother when I heard a “Little sis!” yelled from across the room. He and his wife, Wendy, were coming in our direction, and I felt the immediate loss as Griffin moved away from me, even though it was just slightly.
“You look beautiful tonight,” Griffin whispered quietly just before the Dex and Wendy made it to us. I placed my hand over my belly in an attempt to settle the waves crashing around. I introduced Tomas to Griffin and my family before he took off, having spotted a large, muscle-bound man that he swore was sending his gaydar off like the Fourth of July.
I passed the hours drinking and laughing with those closest to me, and to my surprise, Griffin was there with us every step of the way. He made sure to remain at a respectable distance at all times, but he was always there, I felt him. It was different than all the other times.
Dex and Wendy left a little after ten, married life having turned them into a couple of senior citizens. Tomas and his Muscle Man left shortly after, Tomas’s instincts having been very right.
When the party finally started dying down, Griffin hung around, helping me clean the place up so I could open it the next morning. The conversation between us flowed easily enough, considering it wasn’t all that substantive. But still, it felt like we’d taken some serious strides that night. We’d known each other for nearly ten years, but that was the first time we’d said more than a handful of words to each other.
“Thank you, Griffin,” I told him probably for the third time in the previous thirty minutes. I’d just locked the front door of Fire & Ice as he waited for me on the sidewalk. Even through my champagne buzz, I felt my nerves kick up. I began to fidget with my clutch as I stepped closer to him while he hailed a cab.
“You don’t have to keep thanking me,” he laughed. “I didn’t mind.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to hang around and help me clean up. I really appreciate it. You’ll have to let me pay you back.”
A cab pulled up just then and Griffin leaned down to open the door for me. “And how were you thinking of paying me back?” At the suggestive tone of his voice, I froze with one hand on the doorframe as I prepared to climb in the back seat. I hadn’t meant it to sound like I was propositioning him when I made the offer to pay him back, but with the way he was looking at me just then, I felt exposed… completely naked before him while still being fully clothed.
“W-what?”
He stepped in closer. So close I could smell him, feel his body heat warming me. “You said you wanted to pay me back.” He came impossibly closer
, brushing his strong chest against my breasts, which suddenly felt heavier. “I wanted to know what you had in mind.”
My mouth opened and closed like a fish for a few seconds before I was finally able to formulate a response. “Uh… I was thinking, like twenty bucks, or doing your laundry or something.
At that, he laughed, loud and outright. And I absolutely loved that sound. “You’re fuckin’ adorable.” That felt like a punch in the gut. It was like him calling me kid all over again. I had to look away. I was a twenty-one year old woman, but in that moment, I felt like a child. That was, until he placed his fingers under my chin and lifted my face to his. “How do you manage to be adorable and sexy at the same time?”
And again, I was at a loss. “Um, genetics?”
His smile grew even wider. I didn’t think there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to see that smile pointed at me. “Let me come home with you,” he whispered, still holding on to my chin, his breathe fanning across my lips.
My tongue dipped out to dampen the now dry skin. “Okay,” I whispered back.
And just like that, we were kissing. It was the best kiss of my life. And as he guided my body into the back of the waiting cab, I was so lost I would have done just about anything he asked.
SO THAT’S WHAT SEX is like, I thought to myself as Griffin’s sleeping form stirred beside me. He let out a little snuffling snore and I couldn’t help but smile. It was better than anything I could have imagined. Well, once the initial pain had finally disappeared. I’m sure Griffin would have been much gentler if he’d know it was my first time. I was just too embarrassed to admit it out loud. But my cry of pain when he entered me all the way with the first thrust revealed the truth. After that he’d been extremely careful to not hurt me anymore. He was so gentle, asking if I wanted to stop, but I refused. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted it all.
And that was what I’d gotten.
Fire & Ice (The Locklaine Boys #1) Page 7