by L. A. Witt
Eventually, Daniel met Colin’s gaze. “Think we should get a shower?”
“Don’t know if we should or not.” Colin slid his hands down over Daniel’s ass. “But it sounds like a great idea anyway.”
Daniel moaned, pressing himself closer to Colin. “I agree.”
Oh, they were both right—it was a great idea. As soon as the water was hot, Colin pulled him into the stall and slid the door closed behind them, and they were wrapped up in a kiss that made Daniel wonder how he hadn’t gone fucking insane without Colin. He’d decided from very early on that he loved sharing a shower with him, and those times couldn’t hold a candle to this. Wrapped up in Colin’s hot, soaked body, kissing him while water cascaded over both of them—he didn’t care if any cocks went into holes tonight or if any more orgasms happened. As long as he didn’t have to let go of Colin anytime soon, everything else was just a bonus.
“For what it’s worth,” Colin said after God knew how long, “I’ve been going crazy without you.”
“That makes two of us.”
“You’re not going to be able to walk tomorrow. Just so you know.” Goose bumps rose beneath Colin’s hands and the hot water.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Daniel pressed against him. He couldn’t believe he was already getting hard again. And before much longer, so was Colin.
“We’re not done yet, are we?” Daniel asked with a grin.
“Not unless you want to be.”
“Nope.”
“Good. But we’re gonna run out of hot water, so maybe we should pick this up in the bedroom.”
“I am completely on board with that.”
“Thought you would be.”
They both laughed, and Colin turned off the water. They dried off enough to keep from sliding on the floor or soaking the bed, and that was apparently enough for Colin because he grabbed onto Daniel and led him into the bedroom. As soon as they were horizontal, they picked up right where they’d left off in the shower—kissing like they had all damned night. Because they did. They were here, and no one was going anywhere.
He couldn’t get enough. Colin’s hands all over his skin, their tongues moving lazily together, erections pressing against each other—God, this was heaven. Colin kissed up and down Daniel’s neck. As soon as he reached the collarbone, there was no question what he had in mind, and Daniel had to bite his lip to keep from whimpering with anticipation. Kiss by kiss, Colin headed south, pausing to tease Daniel’s nipple with his teeth, and again to trace a line of his bird tattoo with his tongue, and he’d turned Daniel into a moaning, arching wreck before he’d even passed his belly button.
“I fucking love turning you on like this,” Colin growled, and nipped Daniel’s hip bone. “So much I want to do to you tonight. So much . . .” He ran his lips up and down the underside of Daniel’s dick, then did the same with his tongue. He steadied Daniel’s cock with his hand, and slowly—painfully slowly—took him into his mouth.
Moaning, Daniel ran his fingers through Colin’s hair. He struggled to stay still, trying not to force his cock down Colin’s throat, but it was a challenge. Colin’s mouth just felt . . . so . . . good. Daniel had already come once tonight, but something told him the second orgasm wouldn’t take long.
“You’re gonna make me come again,” he moaned. “Already.”
“Mmhmm,” Colin said around his dick.
“But I want . . . I want . . .”
“Hmm?”
“Fuck me.”
Colin groaned, the vibration nearly sending Daniel out of his mind.
“Come on,” Daniel pleaded. “Condom. Fuck. Now.”
Colin raised his head. “I love it when you’re down to single words.”
“So is that a ‘yes, I’ll fuck you’?”
“Oh, I don’t—”
“Colin. Now.”
Colin laughed and came up far enough to kiss him. “Like I could tease you very long. That would mean teasing myself.” He kissed him again. “Let me get a condom.”
“Yes, please.”
Colin sat up and reached for the nightstand.
“How do you want me?” Daniel asked.
“On your back.” Colin tore the wrapper with his teeth. “I love the way you look in that position.”
“You don’t look so bad yourself.” Daniel winked and lay back, tucking a pillow under his ass. “In fact, this is a really, really good view for me.”
“Is it, now?” Grinning, Colin rolled on the condom. “Well then . . .” He positioned himself between Daniel’s parted legs, and kissed him. “Better . . . put on some lube.”
“Mmhmm. Like now.”
“On it.” Colin grabbed the bottle, but Daniel took it from him.
“Let me.” He poured it into his hand and reached for Colin’s cock.
Colin moaned. He rocked back and forth, fucking into Daniel’s slick grip, and oh yeah, this view was amazing. He was just gorgeous. His skin was flushed, his tattoos gleaming with a hint of sweat, and the lines of his six-pack were unmistakable whenever he moved just right.
“Okay.” Colin batted his hand away and guided himself in. “Can’t wait. Want—” He cut himself off with a grunt as he pressed the head of his cock against Daniel.
Daniel willed himself to relax and breathe, just like Colin had reminded him every time before. Colin kept steady, constant pressure against him, patiently waiting for him to yield.
Colin kissed him softly. “We can start with fingers. There’s no hurry.”
“No, I’m okay.” Daniel closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “I’m good. Just, uh, go slow.”
“I will. I promise.” Colin backed off a little, then pressed again.
Daniel willed himself to relax, and his body finally obeyed and let the head of Colin’s cock breach him. They both groaned and gasped. As he held onto Colin’s arms, Daniel’s toes curled and his spine arched. “Oh yeah . . .”
Colin slid out, then back in again. “Doing all right?”
“So good.”
“Good.” Colin slowly worked himself deeper. “You okay? On your back?”
“Uh-huh.” He didn’t mind being on his back at all. In fact, this was the perfect position. From here, he had a gorgeous view and full access to Colin’s beautiful, tattooed torso, and he couldn’t keep his hands off him. He couldn’t resist teasing Colin’s nipple with his thumbnail, and Colin gave a low, throaty groan, so he did it again.
Colin rocked his hips a little faster.
Daniel moaned. “Fuck . . .”
“I’m not hurting you?”
“No. Not at all.” Daniel let his eyes slide closed. “So . . . good . . .”
“Uh-huh. You feel amazing.”
Daniel opened his eyes. He ran his hands up Colin’s chest, taking in the sight of this gorgeous, muscled, tattooed man who was on top of him, fucking him, and . . .
And looking at him like that.
Daniel locked eyes with him. Jesus. Yes. Now he understood why people loved makeup sex so much. The relief was almost unbearable. He was 100 percent in love with this man, relieved beyond words to have him back, and more than ever, as he cradled the back of Colin’s neck and drew him down again, he knew without a doubt that his mother was wrong.
Sex for the sake of sex? No emotions except perversion and lust?
Wrong. So wrong. Moving with Colin, with nothing between them except the tiniest layer of latex, he was overwhelmed. He had to fight back tears as much as he had to fight back his orgasm. The people who disapproved of two men together could never have understood. Hell, until this moment, even he hadn’t understood just how much emotion there could be between two men who weren’t even making a sound.
“I can’t believe . . .” Colin moaned, his rhythm falling apart. “Gonna come . . . already.”
“M-me, too.” Daniel raked his nails up Colin’s back, and a violent shiver went through Colin’s body. In turn, he fucked Daniel even harder, driving his dick d
eep inside until it was almost painful, and goddamn, it was perfect.
“Oh God.” Colin threw his head back. His lips pulled back across his teeth, and his face was flushed with exertion. He could not possibly have been sexier, and he’s mine. All mine. I can’t believe I have you back.
Daniel’s back arched and his toes curled and semen shot across his stomach, and all the while, Colin kept right on riding him, driving his orgasm on until Daniel thought he’d black out. And just when Daniel didn’t think he could take any more, Colin thrust so hard, he knocked the breath right out of Daniel, and then he buried himself as deep as Daniel could take him, and shuddered. “Oh God.”
Daniel rocked his hips as much as he could, trying to draw out Colin’s orgasm, and the cursing and gasping and desperate attempts to get deeper told him he’d hit the jackpot.
Colin’s whole body went slack. “Jesus. That was . . .” He touched his head to Daniel’s collarbone. “Amazing.”
“Uh-huh.” Daniel wrapped his arms around him and drew him down onto his chest. He was shaking. Hell, they both were. And he was even more blissed out than he’d been the first time in Colin’s bed, when he’d found out just how hard a man could come when he had another man’s help.
Holding himself up on trembling arms, Colin pulled out, but didn’t get up. He stayed right there in Daniel’s arms and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For leaving.”
“Don’t be.” Daniel lifted his head and kissed him. “I think I needed the wake-up call.”
“But I—”
Daniel silenced him with a long, gentle kiss. “Relax. You don’t need to apologize. The only thing that matters is that we’re both here now.”
Colin smiled. “Well, one other thing matters a little more than that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Colin kissed him again. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Chapter 33
This was absolutely not how Colin had imagined things playing out. When Daniel hadn’t answered his text, that had been the end. It was over. But just like the night he’d told him about his past as a porn star, and the night he’d finally told him about the darker parts of his past and present, he’d expected the worst, and found himself right where he was now—lying with Daniel in the middle of his rumpled bed, both sweaty and out of breath.
I’ve thrown so much at you, and you’re still here. Even when I made you leave, you came back.
And thank God Amanda had forced him to eat something earlier, and he’d made himself eat a little more an hour or two ago. Otherwise he’d have collapsed before he’d even gotten Daniel into the bedroom. Making it to the finish? Not a chance. Twice? No way. As it was, he was completely drained. Though this had been a couple of borderline quickies, his whole body ached like he’d just gone a few rounds at the gym, run a few miles, and then marathon-fucked Daniel three or four times.
Because I’m a wreck. A mental basket case.
He turned his head toward Daniel, who was still lying there, eyes closed, a blissed-out grin on his lips.
I’m a wreck, I’m a mental basket case, and you’re . . . here.
He’d hoped for a chance to make things right with Daniel. He’d reached out, waited, even given up, and then Daniel had shown up after all, but not because of the text. He’d come on his own. After quite possibly doing irreparable damage to his relationship with his parents.
Colin’s head was spinning now, but it wasn’t because of everything he hadn’t eaten the last couple of days, or how little he’d slept. The fact that Daniel was here in his bed was unbelievable.
He trailed the backs of his fingers up Daniel’s arm, just to make absolutely sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
Daniel’s eyelids fluttered. When they opened completely, he turned, and the smile broadened. “I didn’t fall asleep, did I?”
“You might’ve.” Colin shrugged as he smiled back. “I wasn’t going anywhere.”
“Still.” Daniel rubbed his eyes and shook himself. “Man, do all guys fade out afterward like I do?”
“Most that I’ve ever been with, yeah.” And I probably will tonight since I’ve been too fucked up to eat properly.
Daniel arched his eyebrow, grinning playfully. “So maybe it’s not me. Maybe you just wear me out.”
Colin laughed. “I don’t hear you complaining.”
“Not at all.”
They held each other’s gazes for a moment. Daniel slid closer, draping his arm over Colin. “It’s really good to have you back.”
“Likewise.” Colin kissed him softly. “By the way, if you’re up for it, my brother was planning to cook tonight and sit down for a movie marathon. I’m sure he won’t mind if you join us.”
“Sounds great.”
It did kind of sound great. Colin was actually even a little bit hungry. Fortunately, he doubted Shane would have an issue with Daniel joining them, especially since it was their breakup that had sent Colin crashing down. Oh, there’d be a conversation later, when it was just the two of them. Shane would no doubt caution him that he needed to talk to his therapist and make sure he was on an even keel in case things didn’t work out. No need for that—Colin already planned to discuss this with Dr. Wilcox tomorrow.
But he wasn’t worried. It would take him some time to shake off this last setback, and there would be others in the future, but between his brother, his trainer, his therapist, and now his boyfriend, he’d pick himself up again.
“You all right?” Daniel asked.
“Hmm? Yeah. I’m good. Why?”
“You went kinda quiet.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Colin laughed sheepishly, but then he met Daniel’s gaze. “You know, maybe it sounds stupid, but I can’t believe you’re here.”
Daniel inched closer. “That makes two of us. I wasn’t sure you’d want me back.”
“I never wanted you to go.” Colin touched his face. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Don’t think for a second that giving you up was what I wanted.” He ran his thumb back and forth along Daniel’s cheekbones. “I just didn’t want you getting hurt because of me.”
“I didn’t get hurt because of you. Their bullshit wasn’t your fault.” Daniel’s features tightened, and he seemed to struggle to look into Colin’s eyes. “I’m sorry I put you in that position. Hiding you in plain sight and—”
Colin kissed him again. “Don’t be. I understand why you did.”
“But still, I’m sorry.”
“Daniel, I’m sorry. I should’ve said I’d be there no matter what happens with your family. You needed support, not an ultimatum.”
Daniel shrugged. “But maybe it was the kick in the ass I needed to man up and face my parents. Before, it was just a matter of gritting my teeth through Thanksgiving dinners and shit like that. It never occurred to me that I’d be hurting someone else, too. Pulling you into the closet with me.” He smoothed Colin’s hair. “I don’t want to suffocate you because I don’t have the balls to face them. I just want . . . this.”
“Me, too.”
Daniel rubbed his forehead. “And . . . shit. Now that my parents know, I really need to call my sister.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because she already knew.” He met Colin’s gaze. “The day they all left, she told me you and I made an adorable couple.”
Colin’s lips parted. “No shit?”
“No shit. I think that’s the closest my sister and I have ever had to a bonding moment.” Daniel smiled a little. “Maybe now we can finally be real siblings. We barely know each other.”
“Better late than never, right?”
“I hope so.” Daniel squeezed Colin’s hand. “But at least tonight, I have you back. That’s all I need right now.”
“Me, too.” Colin hesitated. “I, uh, can’t promise it’ll be an easy ride, though.”
“Neither can I. And I mean, I’ll be gone sometimes. When the ship goes out.”
&
nbsp; Colin nodded. “I can handle that. Especially if you can handle me being a train wreck.”
“You’re not.”
“No, I am. I’m better than I was, but—”
“I know.” Daniel lifted his head and kissed him. “But you’re talking to someone who’s seen people come back from war zones. Hell, I know how easily I could’ve come back with that kind of PTSD. Far as I’m concerned, all the issues you have are no different than if you were a soldier who’d come back from the war and couldn’t quite leave it behind.” He cupped Colin’s cheek. “All you have to do is tell me what I can do to help you deal with it.”
“God, you’re amazing,” Colin whispered, and pulled him close. Wrapped up in Daniel’s arms, Colin still couldn’t quite believe they’d made it back to this. It blew his mind that Daniel had done what he had because of him. He didn’t know what it was like to be with someone who not only stuck with him when things got rough, but held on tighter.
Being with Daniel wouldn’t magically turn Colin into the picture of perfect mental health. But he was okay with that. He’d long ago made peace with the idea that the eating disorder and all that other bullshit were part of his existence and, to varying degrees, they always would be. He just couldn’t believe he’d found someone who accepted that. Especially when that someone had his own crosses to bear.
He kissed Daniel’s temple. “I’m sorry things didn’t go well with your parents.”
Daniel’s shoulder lifted in a taut half-shrug. “It’s a pretty big weight off my chest, to be honest. It was horrible, and it’s going to take a long time to get used to things, but . . .” He met Colin’s eyes and touched his face. “It’s something I should’ve done a long time ago.”
“You weren’t ready.” Colin ran his hand along Daniel’s forearm. “I’m sorry if I made you do it before you were.”
“No. You didn’t. It was my choice.”
“But if you—”
Daniel kissed him softly. “Don’t worry about it.” He smiled. “It’s going to be an adjustment, but honestly? If I have to choose between a family who doesn’t know who I am, and a man who loves who I am . . . it’s kind of a no-brainer.”