“Since when are you a follower?” he scoffed, bumping his shoulder with mine. “Neri, you’re a leader.”
“Then why do I feel so lost?”
“That’s only natural,” Trey said. “Your life as you know it has been turned upside down. Nothing will ever be the same again. But…” He pointed at the hatchling, who was rolling around in the mud, having the time of his life. “You have him now. That’s a big change, but it’s a change for the better, don’t you think?”
“Trey, the hatchling…” I stumbled over my question, even though it was one I’d wanted to ask from the moment the dragon had hatched and I’d felt such a sense of purpose as I cared for him. Like it was my destiny to raise that dragon. “This is going to sound crazy, but I think… I think I bonded with him.”
When Trey smiled, a terrible weight lifted from his shoulders. “I think so too. And it’s clear Senia does too. That’s why she asked you to help raise him. She knows she can’t—and shouldn’t—keep the two of you apart.”
I glanced at the beautiful red dragon, who was still resting with her eyes closed. She might have been pretending to sleep, but I knew she was listening to everything we said with her extraordinary dragon hearing. “But what if I’m wrong?”
“Wrong?” Trey frowned. “How can you think that? Look at how much the hatchling loves you. And how much you love him already. You deserve this, Neri. This little piece of happiness. What happened to Maya and Aster was terrible and we needed some goodness after that. And look what we got: a bond between you and your very own dragon.”
Sniffling, I punched him in the arm. Trey jumped away, rubbing the spot. “What was that for?”
“Stop being so damn wise,” I told him. “You’re starting to scare me.”
“I can’t help it.” Trey puffed out his chest. “What can I say? Your best friend is a really smart guy.”
I rolled my eyes. “I doubt that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
My next retort died on my lips when I saw Nicolas in the distance. He was approaching the lake, a miserable look on his face as he stared out into the distance. Following my gaze, Trey sighed. “I feel bad for him,” he said.
“I’m going to talk to him.” I scrambled to my feet, brushing the dirt from my skirt even though the fabric was already soaking wet and muddy, thanks to the hatchling.
“Do you want company?” Trey asked.
I was sorely tempted to say yes, but I shook my head. “I need to do this alone. Stay with the hatchling?”
Trey took one look at the muddy dragon and groaned. “Maybe I can convince him to wash up?”
I snorted. “Good luck with that.”
Squaring my shoulders, I headed toward my sister’s boyfriend. I was entirely unsure what I would say to him, but I knew we needed to speak. Even though Maya was gone, she would always be the thread that tied me to Nicolas.
Wherever she was, I knew she would approve of what I was about to do.
Chapter Seventeen
Nicolas stood at the water’s edge, his hands jammed into his pockets. His blond hair was wild, as if he’d been running his hands through it repeatedly. When he heard me approaching, Nicolas glanced up. His blue eyes were bloodshot and he looked so miserable that I stopped in my tracks, sucking in a sharp breath.
“Neri,” he croaked.
Keep moving, I told myself. We may have had our differences, but Maya had loved him.
I joined him, opening my mouth to ask him how he was. At the last moment, I realized how stupid that was and I cut myself off. Would I want anyone asking me how I was when the answer was so obvious?
“Aster’s hatchling seems very lively,” Nicolas said after a few moments. “If you need help with him, I can…” He broke off, cursing under his breath. “Of course you don’t want me to help. I’m sorry, that was stupid.”
“Nic,” I said quietly. “I’d love it if you helped. I don’t know what I’m doing. At all.”
“You saved him.” Nicolas’s eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “I think you’re doing a fine job already.”
“I only saved him because of Maya.”
Nicolas clutched at his chest, like I’d stabbed him with a knife.
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be,” he said. “It’s not like you said anything that wasn’t true. Maya’s part of the reason that hatchling survived. You’re the other part. Meanwhile, I did nothing.”
“But you did do something!” My shout echoed across the lake, causing Senia to raise her head and stare in our direction. Lowering my voice, I said, “You woke Trey and me up. You let us know what was going on. And then you distracted the dragons so I could get to Maya.” I kicked at a clump of mud with my bare foot. “I never would have been able to do something like that.”
“What you did was far braver than waving your arms and shouting at the dragons.” Nicolas rubbed his face tiredly. “I don’t even know why you’re talking to me right now.”
“Her death wasn’t your fault,” I said fiercely. “It could have been prevented, yes, but not by you. We don’t stand a chance against dragons, Nic. They’re beautiful creatures, but they’re frightening. And deadly.” I put a hand on his shoulder. “Tell me about Maya’s final hours.”
“She was so excited about what you’d done, convincing Aristo to give the eggs a chance.” Nicolas smiled, but it was more of a grimace. “She thought—we thought that things were going to improve. The few days beforehand had been so dark, so frightening. I didn’t want to fight with her, nor her with me, but it seemed like that was all we were doing.” Shaking his head, he said, “I don’t even know why we were fighting when we were on the same side. Of course I wanted those eggs to hatch. But I hated seeing her in pain. I wanted to spare her, that’s why I cautioned her about getting her hopes up, but she thought that meant I was giving up.”
Leaning over, Nicolas picked up a large, smooth rock and threw it toward the lake, where it skipped three times before vanishing underwater. “I guess she was right. In trying to protect Maya, I was giving up on those eggs. I told her as much our last night together, after we’d climbed the highest mountain peak to watch the stars.”
“What did she say?” I asked.
“She called me an idiot,” Nicolas said. This time when he smiled, it softened his face, making him look more at ease. “She told me she was capable of taking care of herself and didn’t need me to protect her feelings. We promised to be true to each other, instead of hiding behind our actions… If only I’d known what was to happen next. There was so much more I would have done and said to her.”
“I know.” I took comfort in the fact that the last thing I’d told Maya was that I’d loved her. I hoped she’d been thinking of that—of all the people who loved her—in her final moments, instead of being scared.
I was quiet for a moment, gathering myself. “Nic… I want to be open with you, too. We both know we never got along, and it was because I resented you for taking Maya away. Honestly, I don’t know why you’re talking to me, considering how cold I always was to you.”
“Because Maya adored you,” Nicolas said. “I saw how much she loved you and told myself to give you a chance. And I understood where you were coming from. It was always you and your sister, and then I came along. I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t stop myself.”
“Stop yourself from seeing my sister?” I shook my head sadly. “Maybe I was jealous of you, but if I’d broken the two of you up, I would have hated myself for it.”
Nicolas chuckled softly. “Listen to us. Could we have been any more wrong about anything?”
“How did Maya put up with both of us for so long?” I asked. “If I’d been her, I would have screamed at the two of us to grow up.”
“Maya had an endless amount of patience,” Nicolas said. “And she forgave so easily. She had such a generous heart and a strong spirit. The day she agreed to go out with me was the best day of my life. I don’t know how I’m going to
do any of this without her, Neri.”
“Me neither.” I curled my hands into fists. I couldn’t believe what I was about to propose, but I knew Maya would encourage me to ask it. “But if we try and do it together, maybe we’ll have a better chance of surviving?”
Nicolas breathed in deeply. After letting it out slowly, he said, “I’d like that.”
There was nothing else to be said after that. As one we turned and watched Trey chase after the hatchling, trying to herd him toward the water to clean off the mud. At the water’s edge the hatchling veered sharply to the right. Taken by surprise and unable to stop his momentum, Trey went flying face-first into the water. While the hatchling let out a weird sort of honk type of laughter, Trey swam to the surface, sputtering.
Nicolas laughed, and then looked shocked that he was capable of laughing so soon. “Good luck with that one, Neri.”
I raised my brows. “Which one are you talking about? Trey or the dragon?”
“Both of them.”
“Don’t be a stranger,” I told him, holding his gaze until he nodded. “Maya might be gone, but you’re still welcome in our house. My parents think of you as their son. They already lost a daughter; they won’t want to lose you, too.”
“I’ll visit.” Nicolas swallowed. “Maybe not right away because it’ll be hard being there without her, but I promise I’ll stop by. When I’m ready.”
I couldn’t ask for more than that. After a quick hug, which was awkward but not terrible, I said goodbye and went to rescue Trey from my devilish dragon.
***
Those first weeks were hard. I would be doing fine, distracted by Trey or the hatchling or chores, and then I would think of something I needed to tell Maya, only to remember half a second later that she wasn’t here anymore. Why did I keep forgetting? I would pass by her bedroom and the door would be closed, and I would be knocking on it before my brain caught up and told me, She’s dead!
Most of the time that happened, I dissolved into tears. My bedroom became my sanctuary; Trey, who stopped by every day without fail, often found me in there, buried under heaps of blankets despite how hot and humid it was. Some days he’d join me in bed, although he’d rest on top of the covers instead of sweating underneath them like I was doing. Other days, when I was more responsive, he’d throw open the window, letting in fresh air, and start describing things he’d like to do that day. Swimming in the lake, hunting in the forest, collecting shells at the beach… Little things, but they were tempting enough that my head would emerge from my pile of blankets and I’d say, “Let’s do that.”
Trey’s answering smile was so bright, it was nearly blinding.
I swear the only reason I survived that long, endless summer was because of Trey and the hatchling. When I was with them I could forget my grief, even if it was for a little bit. But then I felt guilty; what right did I have to have fun when my sister was dead?
“Maya would not want you to suffer forever,” Senia told me as we sat on the beach. Trey was a few yards off, digging for clams and giving me privacy when he’d saw I’d fallen into one of my dark moods and had sought the ruby dragon out for advice. The hatchling was copying Trey’s movements, digging into the wet sand with such vigor that giant clods of it were flying in every direction. Most were hitting Trey in the back of the head, speckling his black hair and plopping against his clothes. Instead of moving or complaining, Trey shook his head and grinned. When it came to the hatchling, Trey was as enamored as the rest of us.
“Nerine.” Senia nudged me with her maw. “Are you listening?”
“I am.” I sighed. “Everyone keeps telling me that, and I’ve thought it, too, but how can we assume that’s what Maya would want?”
She sat quietly for a moment before answering. “Would you want us to mourn you forever, if it were you? To never move on with our lives? To waste away until we were dead, too?” She stared at me with her golden eyes. “Who would raise the hatchling, if both you and I gave in to our grief?”
I hadn’t thought of it that way, that there were others who relied on us. Not just the hatchling, but my parents. They were gingerly moving through life like I was, taking each day one at a time. Gone were their easy smiles and open laughter. We ate dinner in silence, and after we washed up, Mom escaped to her bedroom while Dad wandered aimlessly around the house. Sometimes I saw glimmers of their old selves emerge, like when I regaled them with tales of the hatchling.
If I gave into my grief, if I died too, what would happen to my parents?
“The pain will never truly leave,” Senia said. “But as time wears on, it will not be as sharp. There will be a day where you will think of Maya and I will think of Aster with not just grief in our hearts, but also fondness.
“Until that day comes, Nerine, you must survive. It won’t be easy, but you are far stronger than you give yourself credit for. You will live spectacularly.”
I leaned against her warm scales, going over her words in my head and wondering—hoping—that I was as strong as everyone kept telling me I was.
The hatchling ran over to us, a gleaming conch shell hanging from his mouth. He dropped it at my feet and honked proudly. Ever since our encounter with the geese, the hatchling had taken to honking over squeaking. He’d grown, too—bigger every time I saw him—and his voice had deepened.
I picked up the shell, examining it. “Thank you!” The hatchling, after seeing my shell collection in my bedroom, made a special point of bringing me a new one each time we went to the beach. He also brought me rocks from the mountain, his tail thumping against the ground as I gushed over them. Even the most ordinary pebbles were special because they had come from him.
“Have you thought of a name for him yet?” I asked Senia, not for the first time.
“No.” The dragon made a noise of irritation as she plucked a piece of seaweed from the hatchling’s leg. “I told you before, Nerine, that dragon names are very special. We can’t just pick any name. It must be something that suits him. And unfortunately, according to Aristo, nothing suits him.”
“How can that be?” Trey asked, joining us. After placing his bucket of clams down on the sand, he sat next to me. The hatchling sniffed the bucket and sneezed. “How can nothing suit him? Look, this is ridiculous. I need to call him something, Senia! If you don’t hurry up, I’m going to pick it. How about—”
“Don’t!” She snapped her teeth at him, startling Trey into silence. “Don’t pick a random name. If my nephew responds to it, it’ll be his name forever.”
“What’s so bad about that?” Trey asked, hurt.
Senia sniffed. “I can only imagine what you’d come up with.”
The hatchling had returned to my side, nudging the conch shell with his head, as if asking me if it was all right. “I love it,” I told him. “I’m going to put it on my dresser as soon as I get home. And whenever I look at it, I’ll think of you.”
He honked loudly at that.
“You spoil him,” Senia said, not unkindly.
“Like you don’t do the same.” I pulled the hatchling onto my lap, scratching under his chin, which I’d discovered a few days ago that he loved. His wings unfurled, flapping uncontrollably, and his honks grew louder in volume. “Listen to you! With all that honking, we should just call you ‘Goose.’”
The hatchling froze, his blue eyes locking on mine.
“Nerine!” Senia hissed.
“Uh… What?” I stared at the hatchling. “What’s wrong with him?”
“Did you just name him Goose?” Trey asked. When the hatchling turned his attention to Trey, my best friend started laughing. “You did! Look at that! He knows his name! He’s a genius, our dragon.”
Senia let out an impressive roar. “You are not naming him Goose!”
Now the hatchling looked at Senia.
“Senia, he’s responding to it.” I pulled him—Goose—into my arms. “That’s your name, isn’t it? Goose?”
Goose honked loudly and gave me a very
wide and toothy dragon grin.
“Fine.” Senia stood and stretched. “But you’re the one who will tell Aristo. I’m sure he’ll be very pleased.”
Exchanging a startled look with Trey I swallowed hard, wondering what I’d just gotten myself into.
Chapter Eighteen
Aristo, as it turned out, found the whole matter hilarious. “Goose!” he boomed, his laughter shaking the mountains. “His name is Goose!”
Senia was unamused. “Aristo, please—”
“Look, he knows his name already!” Aristo continued. Each time he said “Goose,” the hatchling snapped to attention and proceeded to happily dance around his father.
“Aristo—” Senia tried again.
“If that is what they want, then that is what it’ll be.” Aristo fixed his gaze on me and I forced myself to remain where I was, even though everything inside me screamed to hide behind Senia. It was impossible to forgot how powerful Aristo was, even when he was laughing. “Nerine saved Goose’s life. Therefore, she should be the one to name him.”
Senia’s mouth dropped open. I’d never seen her look so shocked before. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it? To have Nerine name him?”
Aristo smiled smugly.
“You horrible beast!” Now it was Trey’s and my turn to look stunned as Senia roared for all she was worth. “What about all the time I spent coming up with names? Names that I delivered to you every morning? Names you always denied without telling me why? What about the time I wasted, Aristo?”
The gray dragon looked a little hurt. “Seeing me every morning was a waste of time to you?”
I realized, a beat later, what was going on. Aristo was flirting with her. Normally, I wouldn’t care either way, but Senia was Aster’s sister. How could he think this was all right?
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