“He sounds wonderful,” Jo said wistfully.
So many times over the past seven years she’d wondered about Pete’s child. A part of her had respected his refusal to turn his back on the boy’s mother, even though it had hurt like hell. So many times her heart had ached at knowing that they would never have the children they’d talked about together.
Now, looking into that gaping, six-year-old smile, she couldn’t seem to stop the tide of emotions that washed over her—sorrow, envy and even an undeniable trace of anger that she’d been deprived all of this.
“Jo?”
Pete’s voice cut through the anguish.
She forced a smile. “I’m sorry,” she said, handing him back his wallet.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry,” he said, his expression filled with regret. “I shouldn’t have gotten into this with you.”
“I asked,” she reminded him.
“Still, I am sorry. It should never have been this way.”
“No,” she said softly, “it shouldn’t have been.” A lingering trace of anger crept into her voice. “Why was it, Pete? Why did it happen?”
He regarded her with a gaze filled with misery. “I wish I could tell you that it was all Kelsey’s fault, that she set out to seduce me and trap me into marriage, but I have to be honest. It wasn’t like that.”
Jo almost wished she hadn’t asked, but she needed to know. “Did you love her?”
“No,” he said fiercely. “You were the one I loved. I promise you that. But you had gone home. Kelsey and I thought there was no harm to hanging out together, having a few beers. It wasn’t about attraction or sex or even friendship, though I guess we were friends. We’d known each other since we were kids.”
“Had you dated before?”
He shook his head. “No. It was all about being lonely, Jo. I missed you. And I was too damn young and stupid to realize that sleeping with some other woman wouldn’t make that loneliness go away. It only happened once, because I knew right away that sex with anyone who wasn’t you wasn’t the answer.”
“But once was enough,” Jo said.
“Yeah, once was enough. It’s an old story,” Pete said. “When I found out Kelsey was pregnant, there was only one thing to do. I wasn’t going to let my child grow up without a dad.”
“The way you’d grown up,” Jo said, understanding at last. The marriage had been about far more than some moral obligation to Kelsey. It had always been about his son.
And knowing who Pete was and all the things that had shaped him into the man he’d become, she accepted that it couldn’t have turned out any other way.
With that understanding came relief. She felt a weight lift from her heart. Forgiveness, which had al ways been an elusive concept to her, flooded in, and for the first time in seven years, she felt at peace.
“I should have told you all this back then,” he said apologetically.
“I’m not sure it would have meant anything then,” she admitted. “I was too hurt and too angry.” She met his gaze. “I’m sorry the marriage didn’t work out.”
It seemed such a waste to her that it hadn’t, that he’d sacrificed so much only to lose his son in the end, after all.
“So am I,” he said.
It hurt to hear him say that. A part of her wished that he was glad to be rid of Kelsey, but it was a small, petty reaction. Again, he wouldn’t be the man she’d loved if he’d been relieved that the marriage was over.
“I know it’s none of my business, but what happened?” she asked him.
“I wasn’t what she wanted,” he said simply. “I never was.”
The woman must be an idiot, Jo thought, but kept her reaction to herself. If Pete didn’t cast aspersions on his ex-wife, she certainly wouldn’t.
“You said they live in Richmond. That’s not exactly around the corner. Do you get to spend much time with Davey?”
His eyes were filled with heartache when he replied, “Not nearly enough. We’ve worked out a schedule, and Kelsey usually sticks to it.”
“Usually?”
“When she doesn’t forget or make other plans—deliberately, more than likely.”
“Does that happen often?”
“Often enough.”
“That must be awful for you and your son.”
He gave her a grim look. “I try not to let it be. I don’t ever want Davey to be some pawn between his mother and me. That’s why I didn’t fight her for custody. He needs both of us. And as long as she’s doing right by him, he’ll never hear a harsh word about her from me.”
“But if she’s not living up to the agreement—” Jo began.
“I deal with her,” Pete said. “We don’t need the court involved.”
Jo’s respect for him grew. “You’re an honorable man. I hope she knows what a treasure she threw away.”
He laughed, but there was little humor in the sound. “I think she’d dispute that.” He met her gaze. “Enough about me. Tell me about the man who didn’t have the good sense to hang on to you.”
She gave him a wry look. “You mean besides you.”
He winced. “Ouch. I deserved that.”
“You did,” she agreed. “But I promise it’ll be the last time I take potshots about the past. There’s no point in living there.”
“Amen to that,” he replied. “Now stop avoiding the subject.”
“The short version is that I came home and found him in bed with someone else,” she said without emotion.
She had thought the image would be burned into her head forever, but ironically she couldn’t picture it anymore. In fact, it hardly seemed to matter. Seeing Pete again had done that for her. Feeling the stir of those old emotions, knowing that the depth of what they’d once shared was so much more than anything she’d ever felt for her ex-fiancé, had put her heartache to rest. Since her love for Pete hadn’t died nearly as quickly, she could only wonder if she’d ever loved James at all. Maybe that relationship had been on the rebound, despite the years it had taken for her to let another man into her heart.
Pete’s gaze was steady and serious. “Want me to go beat him up for you?”
She returned his gaze with a solemn expression. “That’s a lovely thought, but Ashley already offered. I turned her down.”
“I’m meaner.”
“You obviously don’t know my big sister all that well.”
“I saw her use a hammer,” he said, then added with a grin, “She’s a sissy.”
Jo burst out laughing. “Please tell her that,” she begged. “I want to be there.”
“Think she’ll pummel me to a bloody pulp?”
“I certainly think she’ll try.”
“It’s good to hear you laugh, Jo,” he said, his expression suddenly serious again.
“It’s good to have something to laugh about,” she admitted. “I was beginning to think I’d lost my sense of humor along with my fiancé.”
“That would have been the real tragedy,” Pete told her.
She lifted her gaze to his and felt the familiar stir of old desires. “It would have been, wouldn’t it? I think I’m just beginning to see that.”
“I could always make you laugh,” he reminded her.
Because it hadn’t always been that way, she re minded him. “You made me cry, too.”
“And it’s something I’ll regret till my dying day,” he told her.
Jo shook off the desire to weep one last time for all they’d lost. Instead, she met his gaze and lifted her glass of water in a solemn toast. “Here’s to concentrating on the laughter from now on.”
Pete lifted his bottle of beer and tapped it against the glass. “To laughter.”
But even as they made the pact, Jo knew that there were no guarantees. The one thing certain about the future was its unpredictability. In fact, she would never in a million years have predicted that she would be sitting here in the kitchen at Rose Cottage sharing a meal with Pete again. Moreover, they’d found a way to laug
h together again. That wasn’t just totally unpredictable, it was a miracle.
But looking into Pete’s eyes, feeling her heart begin to heal at long last, she realized that miracles truly could happen.
6
Pete cursed himself six ways to Sunday all the way home from Jo’s for having gotten drawn into even the briefest mention of his marriage. Up until tonight, he’d had a hard and fast rule: He didn’t talk about it, not with anybody. What was the point, anyway? It was over and done with. Nobody needed to know the gory details. He’d always told himself he was keeping silent for his son’s sake, but it was more than that. He didn’t want anybody to know just how badly he’d screwed up.
Tonight he’d broken his own vow, and now he was regretting it. It would have been bad enough no matter whom he’d opened up to, but he sure as hell shouldn’t have gotten into it with the woman who’d suffered because he hadn’t known at twenty how to keep his pants zipped.
Then, again, maybe he had owed Jo that conversation. Maybe it was long overdue and damn the consequences to his pride. Possibly it would give her some satisfaction to know that he’d suffered too for the mistake he’d made. Maybe the humiliation of reliving it all would turn out to be worth it, if she’d been able to take some comfort in finally hearing the truth about his hasty, ill-advised marriage. Surely she couldn’t think any worse of him than she did already. If she did, so be it. He could live with that, knowing that he’d finally been honest with her.
If they were ever going to have a second chance, Jo had to know the whole story. The fact that such a chance was even possible was a miracle, Pete realized. Mike had opened his eyes to that and made him see that it was a gift that shouldn’t be tossed aside lightly. Since his attraction to Jo clearly hadn’t died, he should be grateful for every second that gave him time to make amends and explore whether there was a chance for the two of them to recapture what they’d once had and build it into the dream they’d once shared.
Jo had been so damn innocent back then, so trusting. She’d believed in him—and in them—enough to give him not just her body, but her heart. He’d been way too careless with that gift. Because of that, he wasn’t sure if he deserved a second chance, but obviously fate had other ideas since it had tossed them together now.
So far Jo had said nothing about how long she intended to stay, but he planned to use every minute to see if there was anything left of the feelings they’d once shared. One look at her had stirred something inside him, something he’d convinced himself was dead and buried. If he’d had to put a label on it, it wouldn’t have been love exactly. No, it was more like hope.
When she’d been in his arms for those few brief moments, he thought he’d seen a fleeting spark of desire, a hint of longing in her eyes. He knew she’d responded to that kiss they’d shared. In fact, she’d looked as shaken by it as he had been. That could be the building block to something more. He just couldn’t rush it. He had to keep in mind that she was in emotional pain herself. Her break-up was far fresher than his own. Taking advantage of that was out of the question.
No, he was older and, hopefully, wiser now. He was in it this time for the long haul. No mistakes. No blunders that would leave him racked with guilt and pain.
And with her entire family watching him like a hawk, he wasn’t about to do anything that would give them cause to question his motives. Nope, he was going to be the perfect gentleman…even if it killed him.
Satisfied that he’d worked everything out—at least as much as he could control—he walked into his house with a lighter step. Immediately, he heard the phone ringing. By the time he snatched it up, the person had hung up, but the Richmond number on the caller ID told him it had been either Kelsey or his son. Though he had no particular desire to speak to his ex-wife, he couldn’t take a chance that it had been Davey or that Kelsey was calling about his son. He dialed back immediately.
It was Davey who answered on the first ring. “Hello,” he said, his voice quavering in an obviously frightened whisper.
All lingering thoughts of his unexpected evening with Jo fled. Trying not to overreact, Pete kept his own tone light. “Hey, buddy, it’s Dad. How’s it shakin’?”
“How’d you know it was me who called?” his son asked, his voice filled with surprise and unmistakable relief.
“Caller ID. How come you didn’t leave a message?”
“I dunno.”
“You know it’s always okay to call me, right?”
“I guess.”
Something wasn’t right. Davey loved to call, but he usually had a reason and was usually bubbling over with enthusiasm. Tonight, he was being surprisingly vague. Pete pressed gently for answers. “What’s up, buddy? You okay?”
“I guess.”
“Is everything going okay at school?”
“I guess.”
“Is your mom around?”
Davey hesitated so long, Pete knew he’d finally hit on the problem. “Where’s your mom?” he asked.
“She’s on a date with that guy, the one I told you about,” Davey said. “Harrison something.”
“Yeah.”
“Is someone there with you?”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Davey said bravely. “I’m almost seven.”
Pete bit back a curse. Almost seven! Typical kid. He’d barely turned six, and he was already anxious to be a year older. Six was entirely too young for a kid to be on his own at night, especially in the city. So was seven, for that matter.
Down here was something else, but even here Pete would think long and hard before leaving his son rattling around in the house by himself. Kids needed supervision, whether they wanted it or not. His skin crawled when he thought of the mischief and danger the boy could have gotten into.
“How long has your mom been gone?” he asked, careful not to let Davey know just how furious he was.
“Not that long. A couple of hours, I guess.”
“Did she leave you a number?”
“I’ve got her cell phone number,” Davey said. “She promised to leave it on.”
Pete’s temper hit a boil. Despite everything he’d said to Jo earlier about trying to keep his relationship with Kelsey civil for Davey’s sake, he’d just about had it with her irresponsibility. He obviously needed to have another talk with her about her neglectful approach to parenting. Until now, he’d tried just talking things out with her, but he was beginning to wonder if it wasn’t time for him to press the issue in court. He hadn’t fought her before, because he’d believed she was seriously trying to be a good mom. Lately, though, he didn’t like some of the decisions she was making. Too often she was choosing her social life over their son’s well-being.
“Dad, please don’t be mad at Mom,” Davey said, obviously sensing that he’d revealed too much. “I’m okay, really. I just thought maybe we could talk for a while.”
“Of course we can talk,” Pete said, trying to calm his fears. As long as Davey was on the phone with him, he’d know he was safe. He shrugged out of his jacket and settled into a chair. “Why don’t you tell me what’s happening at school these days?”
First grade apparently was more exciting than Pete remembered. He kept his son on the phone for an hour, listening to the increasingly carefree chatter about an awesome science project he’d seen.
“I could have done a really cool one that was better,” Davey said. “But our teacher said we’re too little. Isn’t that dumb? What difference does it make how big we are?”
“None I can see,” Pete agreed.
“Did I tell you I have a spelling test tomorrow? I’m going to ace it. I spelled all the words for Mom and she said I was perfect,” Davey boasted.
“That’s great,” Pete told him. “Want to spell them for me?”
Davey giggled. “Dad, you’re a lousy speller. You won’t even know if I’m right.”
“Hey, kid, mind your manners. I’m not that bad,” he retorted.
“Mom says you are. She told me if I
needed help with spelling, I’d better get it from her.”
“Okay, maybe she has a point,” Pete admitted. “But I’d like to hear the words anyway.”
Davey spelled a couple, then yawned.
“You tired, buddy?”
“I guess.”
“Then crawl into bed and get some sleep. Take the portable phone in with you. If you wake up and want to call me, it’ll be right there, okay?”
“Okay.”
“And don’t answer the door, you hear me?”
“Dad, I know that,” Davey said. “You’ve told me.”
“Yeah, I guess I have,” Pete said, grinning at his son’s evident exasperation. “How about I come down this weekend and we can see about doing that science project you want to do? Nothing says you can’t do it, even if it’s not for school. We’ll grab some lunch, too.”
“Really?” Davey asked, then immediately tempered his excitement. “It’s not a regular visit. I already looked on the calendar to see when you’d be coming again.”
“I’ll work it out with your mom. Now get some shut-eye, kid. Tomorrow’s a school day.”
“Bye, Dad. Love you.”
“Love you more,” Pete said, his heart aching.
He didn’t waste so much as a split second on self-pity, though. He immediately punched in Kelsey’s cell phone number. It took several rings before she picked up, and when she did, her voice was slurred. Even in that condition, he’d rather have her home with Davey than having the boy in the house all alone. Hell, maybe he should have called the cops instead and let the chips fall wherever they would, but he could only imagine the mess it would create with Davey caught smack in the middle. He’d probably end up in foster care before Pete could get it all straightened out. That wasn’t an option, not even for a night.
“Get home right now,” Pete said without ceremony. “And don’t leave Davey there alone again or I’ll haul you into court and take him away from you.”
“What?” she asked, clearly fighting to grasp his words.
“I said to go home. I’ll be calling there in fifteen minutes, and you’d better be there. If you’re not, my next call will be to the police.”
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