“Hey, aren’t those bottles made by the Johnson Company? From Earth?”
He laughed then, slapping his thigh. “It’s not like there isn’t any commerce between the two realms. There are some things that humans do better than the Elves.” And with that, he motioned for me to follow him and we headed up the slope leading to the great tree palace of Cernunnos.
Ferosyn was waiting for me when Herne led me into the Healing Center.
Set toward the back of Cernunnos’s Palace, the Healing Center was a multilevel complex. The entire palace was built in a tree, which had originally startled me when I was first brought over to heal up from what Pandora did to me. But it made sense.
Cernunnos was Lord of the Forest, and it stood to reason that he would live in a massive treehouse that spanned several giant oaks. And by giant, I meant massive. The trees were easily double and triple the size of the biggest oaks over on Earth, rising hundreds of feet into the air and spreading across massive areas of the woodland.
Manned mostly by Elves, the palace was a testament to the power of Herne’s father. Everywhere, series of staircases led from one tree to another, and rope elevators, their cars built from lightweight wood, offered access to those who had trouble walking.
The Healing Center was in a separate tree than the main palace, although Ferosyn often worked out of an infirmary located near the throne room. Herne led me over to one of the elevators and I cocked my head, looking first at the wooden car, then at Herne.
“I can climb stairs, if you’d rather.”
He shook his head. “The Healing Center is at the top of the tree. There would be a lot of stairs to climb between here and there, and if we want to make your appointment, we better go as quickly as we can.” He opened the car door and I stepped inside, feeling slightly squeamish. I wasn’t afraid of heights, but the ropes looked so lightweight, and the distance to the platform to which we were heading was so far up that it made me nervous. Herne noticed my concern and was quick to reassure me.
“These ropes are made by the Elves, and they’ll support thousands of pounds—far more than we could fit inside this car. And the pulley systems are checked every morning and every evening. We’ll be safe.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I guess I’m not doing too well at covering up my feelings lately.”
“I don’t think you should try,” Herne said. “Repressing your feelings is never really a good thing. Well, I can think of a few exceptions, but over something like being nervous about an elevator ride? Not necessary.” He grinned at me.
“I see why Ember loves you so much. You’re so supportive, and I hope you realize how much I appreciate it. It’s been a rough past couple months.”
He regarded me carefully for a moment, then said, “May I ask how you and Kipa are doing?”
It was my turn to smile. “We’ve had a bit of a rough patch lately, mostly due to me trying to deal with all of this and keep him safe from worrying about me. But Kipa’s a rock, he’s my anchor. I think you underestimate him, Herne. I haven’t known him for a long time, and I know you have history with him that hasn’t been pleasant, but don’t underestimate him.” I paused, wanting to tell him that Nya had been the one to initiate the tryst with Kipa, but since Kipa had kept it a secret, I would too. But I swore to myself that if Herne ever brought it up, if he ever threw it at Kipa when I was around, I wouldn’t keep quiet.
Herne stared over the side of the car as we ascended through the tree limbs. “Perhaps you’re right. He does seem to have changed for the better. I’m glad that you get along with him. I just… I just don’t want to see you hurt.” He gnawed on his lip, giving me a sideways glance.
“Kipa told me he loved me the other night. And I said it back. I don’t know where we’re going, or how long it will last, but even though I’m a lot younger than you, I do know my own mind. I was engaged for a long time to someone I loved, and I lost him. But I have to tell you this: I never loved Ulstair the way I love Kipa. Ulstair and I got along, we fit together in so many ways. Don’t get me wrong, I would have married him if he was still alive…one day. But I didn’t have the same passion that I do for your cousin. Ulstair couldn’t match me the way Kipa does. He was too easy for me, and I think I was too hard for him. I value your friendship very much. But I’d rather have you as a buddy than a big brother.”
Herne gave me a little shrug. “Heard and registered. I won’t try to dissuade you again.”
At that moment, the wooden elevator car came to a stop and Herne locked it into place before opening the gate. We exited onto a ledge near a door, so far up in the tree I could barely see the ground. A circular staircase wound around the massive trunk, descending toward the ground. The hand-carved railing ensured that no one could fall off. There were two doors in front of us, leading into the tree, and over the doors was a sign that I couldn’t read.
“What language is that?”
“Elvish. It reads ‘Healing Center.’ ” And with that, Herne opened the door to escort me in, and I ducked inside as a light rain began to fall, sprinkling down through the leaves.
Chapter Eleven
Unlike all the complaints I heard about human doctors, Ferosyn didn’t make me wait more than a couple minutes before he ushered me into his office. Herne went off to meet his father, and told me that Ferosyn would provide me with someone to take me back to the portal when I was ready to go home. He made sure I had enough money for an LUD ride back to my house.
Ferosyn looked as young as I did, but I knew he was thousands of years older. The Elves lived almost as long as the gods, even longer than most of the Fae. I wasn’t sure how they compared in relationship with the Ante-Fae, but I figured it couldn’t be much different. The Ante-Fae outlived the Fae by centuries—even millennia in some cases, but I still had a feeling the Elves had us beat in longevity.
“Have a seat, Raven.” Ferosyn sat down behind his desk, which was made of a polished mahogany. The wood reverberated with energy and I realize that everything within the halls of Cernunnos’s palace was alive in its own right.
I sat on the velvet divan opposite, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. I fidgeted with my purse, before answering. “Hey, so I’m back.”
Healers among the communities over in Annwn weren’t called “doctor,” like over on Earth. Often they were addressed with the title “healer” in front of their name, but Ferosyn never seem to stand on ceremony. In general, I was comfortable around him, but right now, I felt like I was walking on eggshells.
“Herne says that you’re interested in talking to one of our therapists?” There was no accusation in his voice, and no judgment, just a simple question.
I nodded, looking up to meet his gaze. “I’m having some problems. I really thought I could manage this on my own. I thought I was strong enough, but I’m having flashbacks, and the memories are interfering with my relationships and actually just screwing up my ability to function.”
“Post-traumatic stress disorder affects more than just humans, Raven. I’d be surprised if you weren’t affected by this. I’d actually be worried.”
“Worried?” That seemed strange to me.
“Yes, worried, because it would mean that you were repressing your feelings. You know Rafé came here for help?”
I nodded. “He said you guys helped a lot.”
“We did, but we can only help when someone’s ready to accept it. And asking for help is the first step. There’s absolutely nothing we can do for anyone who isn’t willing to admit that they need assistance. So I’m glad to hear you ask, because it means you’re ready to truly heal and let go.” He smiled, sitting back in his chair.
“Isn’t there a pill you could give me? Or some herbs that would just wipe it all away?”
“I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that, not even with magic. No, I think I should pair you up with Sejun. I think you’ll do better with him than you would with a woman, considering it was a woman who traumatized you.”
That made sense to
me. “So, when do I start? And do I have to come over to Annwn every time I need to talk to him?”
Ferosyn shook his head. “No, Sejun can come to your house. I want to start you at twice a week, for about two hours each time. That’s an intensive amount of therapy to put in, but I think that you will respond well to it. And I think you’ll be more comfortable talking in your own home.”
Feeling relieved, I let out a long breath. “Yeah, actually I would. So do I start today?”
“I think that’s the best thing, don’t you? There’s no sense in waiting. You’ll have your first session here, and then Sejun will take you back over to Earth, where he will escort you to your home so he knows where to go. If you have any trouble at all, just let me know. We have a number of healers and therapists and I can pair you with someone else if it doesn’t work out.”
Hoping that I wouldn’t have to worry about that, I simply nodded. “What do I owe you?”
“I’m on retainer,” Ferosyn said. “Cernunnos pays me more than I actually need.” He reached up and rang a bell next to his desk. A woman whom I assumed was a nurse entered the room, dressed in a calf-length white gown, her hair tightly braided back and hanging down to her waist. She was beautiful, an Elf, but she looked older than Ferosyn himself. I wondered how long she’d been around, but decided that would be rude to ask.
“Mesaue Fortunlea, would you please escort Ms. BoneTalker to Sejun’s office? Thank you,” Ferosyn said.
The nurse nodded to him, then motioned for me to follow her. We headed down a corridor door that was brightly lit. The floor here appeared to be marble, and the walls were textured wood, but they were painted a light white color, with just a hint of pale green. They were easy on the eyes, and made me feel oddly calm. We turned two or three times along the way into other hallways until we came to a door. She tapped on it, then entered, motioning for me to follow her.
The office reminded me of a medical office over on Earth, except it felt more soothing, and there was even an aquarium here. I shook my head, laughing.
“Did you get that over on Earth?” I asked.
Mesaue Fortunlea smiled, her somber demeanor dropping away. “Yes, and it is Sejun’s pride and joy. He loves those fish so much.”
I bent over to examine the fish while she tapped on an inner door, then peeked inside to murmur something I couldn’t quite hear. The fish were darting around, looking extremely energetic for fish, and one came up to the side of the aquarium, watching me through the glass.
“Ms. BoneTalker? You may go in. Sejun is waiting for you.”
As she held the inner door open for me, I felt oddly reluctant. Walking through that door was to admit that I couldn’t handle this myself, and I hated that thought. But it was true, I couldn’t. So taking a deep breath, I entered the room, deciding to place my mental health in a stranger’s hands.
By the time Sejun and I left his office, I was reeling and I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like we had talked over anything that seemed incredibly difficult, but somehow, he seemed to draw the trauma up to the surface, and to start skimming it off of me. I had told him what happened, not in terrible detail, and I hadn’t even talked about how painful it had been. But I felt like a scab had been ripped off and I was open and raw. He had given me a bottle of herbal capsules, and instructed me to take one before bedtime.
“It will help you sleep and heal. Come now, I’ll escort you home. I’ll see you on Saturday, at three p.m. your time.” He was very professional, but the moment we left his office, he seemed to relax and totally veered away from the subject of my visit.
“Do you like living among humans? I’ve never had much interaction with them,” the Elf said.
“Yeah, I do. But I’m one of the Exosan—the Ante-Fae who tend to hang out with humans. We’re all younger, most of us well under five hundred years old. The older generations don’t tend to understand what we see about interacting with humankind or with the Fae. But they’re our descendants—the Fae are—and it just makes sense to form some sort of connection. And humans cover the planet. It doesn’t seem like a wise move to just ignore their existence.” I paused as we got into the elevator car again. Holding onto the railing, I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see our descent.
“Afraid of heights?”
“No, not terribly, but this seems like such a flimsy contraption. Even though Herne reassured me that it was safe, I still don’t feel that confident about it.” I tried to laugh off my nerves, but the truth was that when we reached the bottom, I took a huge breath of relief.
“Not to insult your engineers, but I think I prefer the elevators over where I come from.” I looked around, as the street seemed to be emptying. The sun was headed toward the horizon, and it seemed cooler over here than it did back home.
“People are going home for the day. The bazaar shuts down around this time each night, and earlier in winter.” Sejun crooked his arm, waiting. I realized he meant for me to slide my arm through his so he could escort me properly. Feeling odd, but not wanting to insult him, I obliged.
He motioned for a carriage, and before I could say a word, we were bundled inside, heading toward the portal. Sejun didn’t talk much, but that didn’t surprise me. Most Elves weren’t very talkative. Instead, I looked out the window, watching as people wandered along the road toward the village of Eselwithe. Rows of houses were lit from within, and smoke rose into the air from the chimneys. It seemed odd to look up and see the glimmer of stars appearing in the sky already. But there was no light pollution here to block them out, and because of that, it seemed that night fell faster here.
“What are you looking at?” Sejun asked.
“The sky. We see the stars over where I come from, but not nearly so clear. Here there’s nothing to block their light. I think I’d like to come back here and go camping sometime. Maybe Kipa can bring me.” I realized that I really did want that. While I wasn’t exactly the camping sort of girl, I did enjoy spending time in the forest. And it would be nice to get away, just Kipa and Raj and me.
“I think you should do it. I think you’d enjoy that a lot from what you told me about yourself.” He paused, then added, “Don’t forget to take those capsules at night. One per night. They’ll help get you through the rough parts of therapy, and sleep will help you heal. My guess is that your sleep is been highly interrupted for the past few weeks, am I right?”
I nodded. “You don’t know how right you are. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks. I wake up at the slightest sound, and when I do sleep I have either nightmares or confusing dreams that I don’t understand but that leave me feeling uneasy and out of sorts.”
“I think tonight will be a little bit easier.” Sejun stopped, looking back out the window. A few minutes later we pulled in toward the portal, and he got out, holding up his hand to help me down from the carriage. I gave him a quick curtsey and then we sauntered over toward the twin oaks.
He talked to the portal keeper for a moment, then motioned to me and held out his hand.
“Once we get over there, you’ll have to take the lead. I’ll be out of my element. But it will do me good. I haven’t been over that way in a long time, and it will remind me of just what environment you’re coming from. Plus I’ll have to get used to it, coming over twice a week for a while.”
I bit my lip.” How long do you think it’s going to take for me to get over this?”
“I don’t know if you ever get over something like that, but if you’re asking how long will it take you to feel back to normal? Probably less time than you expect.” Then, giving my hand a quick squeeze, he walked toward the portal and I followed. Hand in hand, we stepped through the oaks, back into Seattle.
The portal keeper was waiting there. “Herne asked me to drive you down to the parking garage to pick up your car.”
“That works for me. Then, after I show Sejun where I live, I’ll send him back in an LUD. I’ll call to schedule a ride right now. They take reservations. I’ll put his fare
on my credit card.” I scrambled into the back of the car, and Sejun followed, looking slightly uncomfortable.
It suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t remember much about what we discussed during the actual session. It was almost as if the entire appointment had been a dream that was quickly slipping away. I was going to say something, then decided that it wasn’t anything to worry about. After we picked up my Subaru, we headed across the 520 floating bridge over to the Eastside.
As we stepped out of the car at my home, Sejun looked around, giving a nod of approval. “You have a very nice home,” he said. “How long have you lived here?”
“Oh, a number of years. My father helped me buy the place. Did you want to come in for a drink or something?” But as I spoke, the LUD drove up, right on time. “Oh, there’s your ride. We can reschedule it, if you like.”
He shook his head. “No, I’d best be getting home. I have a photographic memory. Now that I know your address, and the route, I’ll be able to find my way here no matter what portal I come through. I’ll see you on Saturday at three. Until then, remember—”
“Take the capsules, one per night. I’ll remember. And Sejun, thank you. I appreciate your help. I don’t know how the treatments will work for me, but I have an open mind and I’m hopeful.”
“That’s all I can ask for,” he said, heading back to the LUD. As I watched the car drive off into the street, I realized that I really didn’t remember anything we had talked about. Feeling slightly confused, but lighter of heart, I unlocked the door and entered the house.
Kipa wasn’t home yet, but the wards were still set and the security system hadn’t been tampered with. After setting down my purse and keys, I looked around for Raj. He was nowhere in sight and a momentary panic crept over me.
“Raj? Raj? Where are you?” It wasn’t like Raj to hide when I got home. I peeked in my office but he wasn’t there. He hadn’t been in the living room and I didn’t notice him in the kitchen when I passed by. Starting to fear that he had somehow found his way outside and ended up lost, I dashed down the hall to my bedroom and peeked around the corner.
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