Hurting her would be like shoving a knife into his chest. He couldn’t sustain such an injury and survive. She was every part of him that pure, everything good in his soul. He had to be worthy of her, had to be everything she needed.
He wondered if all males felt this overwhelming urge to become their mate’s world. He hoped they did, because it made him normal, and these feelings weren’t usual for him. He wasn’t that kind of man. He had always been autonomous, but that was changing now he had Mischa, and learning that side of himself would be as challenging as getting to know her fully.
Letting out a quivery breath, trying to let go of the unnecessary worry he was putting himself through, Kiko let his eyes drift to his bite, and as he studied the bloody mark, he grimaced at the smears surrounding it. As he watched, the gashes were closing up, the blood drying out as her flesh healed and started to scab over. But the dried blood wouldn’t go anywhere without a wash cloth… Should he clean her up? Would it be better if she saw no signs of the claiming? Or would she not like that? She’d had so many choices taken away from her, and he was determined to always be the one who gave her options.
So, even though it looked like she’d been attacked by a feral beast—a not too inappropriate supposition—he decided to leave it alone. He could explain about mating bonds a little more. Help her understand what had happened.
He’d been out of his league beforehand, incapable of doing anything but lying there and taking everything she had to give. He’d been through torture that had been less agonizing, but she’d responded in ways he’d never thought possible. When he’d made the suggestion, he’d never foreseen her asking him to claim her. He was gentling her to him, allowing her to do the gentling—to take control—and boy, had she.
Not that he was complaining. Jesus. His mate was here. With him. At last. The reality was, she’d claimed him. She’d taken things so much farther than he’d expected, and as a result, she was sleeping off his bite.
Inside, his heart did a happy dance. Outside, he just sported a huge-ass grin.
Sweet Goddesses, all these years of waiting and watching, wondering if his woman was out there, and now she was in his bed. Claimed.
He carefully fell onto his back, sprawling out comfortably when Mischa didn’t move an inch. Arms and legs akimbo, he wished like hell he could grab her and pull her into his embrace, feel her skin against his, but he didn’t so much as twitch. He wanted her to rest.
He wanted her to sleep. Sleep was what she needed.
She’d been claimed, but more than that, she was the mate of a high-ranking foot soldier in a motorcycle club that looked to be close to an internal war.
The smile he’d been sporting disappeared as his thoughts headed toward last night’s Council meeting.
It was astonishing how four brothers could be causing such shit, but truth was, they’d always ass licked Jackson, the old Prez before Mars, and with his passing and the subsequent turn of events, they were starting to fire up a storm they had no chance of winning—but it wouldn’t stop them from trying.
He let out a heavy sigh, feeling the burden of responsibility on his shoulders, not so much for the Clan but for Mischa. He had to keep her safe in a place where safety wasn’t in doubt.
How could he do that? How could he protect her when the people he trusted would soon be shifting alliances to suit whichever side of the playground they wanted to play in? He wanted to promise her the world, but that wasn’t an offer, and he resented the hell out of that. Kiko didn’t think they’d get a honeymoon period to adjust to mated life. All brothers got it, on the rare occasions males found their ones, but with the situation as shitty as it was, he just knew that time wouldn’t be available.
Weird thing was, Kiko knew Mischa wouldn’t mind. She was sensible and had her feet firmly on the ground. That meant she understood priorities, and in this situation, a honeymoon wasn’t a priority when her security was under threat.
“What’s wrong?”
He startled a little at the softly-posed question and turned his head to see his mate looking at him, a question in her eyes but a laxness to her posture that told him she wasn’t hurt, unhappy, or stressed.
She was at peace with who she was to him, and for that he would be forever thankful.
A part of him had feared she’d be scared of him, that she’d look at him with terror in her eyes now that she knew what it felt like to be bitten by a Shifter. But there was not an ounce of fear there. In fact, he was stunned to recognize she looked content.
Not wanting to destroy that happiness, he started to speak, but before he could shrug off her concern, she clucked her tongue. “Don’t lie. I know something is wrong.” She tapped her head. “Your thoughts are as clear to me as words spoken from your lips.” Mischa seemed to realize how odd her words were at the same time as he did because she froze, her limbs turning utterly still like ice sculptures atop the mattress, then came an explosion of movement.
He gawked at her as she scrambled into a sitting position. “You can read my thoughts?”
She gulped as she pushed her pointer fingers into her temples, rubbing the tender flesh there as though she were dragging an eraser against paper, scrubbing away her words by deed if not action. “Yes, I can.” Her voice turned hoarse as she shot him a concerned glance. “You were worrying about Jackson’s allies and if they would put me in danger. I heard it like you’d spoken it. How is that possible? Am I going crazy?” Her accent was thick, flooding her sentences until he had to strive to understand her.
Her panic was like a living entity between them, and he couldn’t help her. He couldn’t calm her down because his breath wheezed from him as the repercussions of her words filtered through him, making him panic as badly as she was at this revelation.
Kiko grabbed her to him, pushing a hand over her mouth as fear flooded him. She startled, surprise making her an easy weight to move, but he knew she was on the brink of struggling when he put his mouth to her ear and whispered, “Don’t tell anyone.” His words were more of a breath than a whisper, a quiet sound he prayed only she could hear, and then, he shook his head, clearing it of thoughts. And because they had a perfect way to communicate silently now, didn’t they, Kiko thought:
You mustn’t tell anyone.
“But why?” she whispered back once he removed his hand from her mouth. He’d let her clamber on to his lap, and she spoke straight into his ear as quietly as he had spoken to her.
Because it’s a dangerous trait.
“I couldn’t do it before,” she replied, confusion lacing her tone.
No, it’s a gift. It comes with the claiming. I didn’t really explain to you what happens. Truth is, I didn’t expect you to ask me to claim you so quickly. I thought I’d have time, but I should have realized things would progress quickly now you’d accepted what we are to one another. I’m sorry I let you down, Mischa.
She frowned at him, but his words seemed to act like a key. They unlocked her panic, making her relax atop his lap rather than struggle as she had been. “What do you mean let me down? Don’t be silly, Kiko,” she spouted, militant in her defense of him. “I’ve read the Shifter books, you know. I kind of guessed what was going to happen, what with the bite and everything.”
That had him snorting. “Like they’ve ever, in the history of existence, been accurate.” Rolling his eyes, he switched to their new means of communication. The Goddesses gift a trait to new mates. Humans are weaker than Shifters, but we find our mates within your gene pool. Once you’re claimed, you’re stronger than the strength of an above-average human male, but it isn’t always enough. The Goddesses protect mates with their gifts. Annette can talk to Mars, and he can reply. Christie, Mundo’s mate, has a really strong sense of smell. And you, well, you can read minds.
“Christie can smell?” Her brow puckered. “Dear me, that is rather a disappointing gift. I mean, this is scary…” She gulped, as though processing just how scary it was. But then she shook it off, and murmured
, “Scary but cool. Smelling is like… Well, I don’t know what it’s like aside from boring.”
Because he’d thought the same thing, and he knew Christie felt the same way too because he’d overheard her bitching at Mundo at her gift which seemed useless in the face of Annette and Mars’s, he tried and failed to withhold a grin. When she saw it, she laughed, and they snickered together like a pair of thieves who were in cahoots. And hell, he guessed that’s exactly what they were.
Look, some gifts manifest for different reasons. We never know. Goddesses do. They give us what they think we need. Who are we to query it? As it stands, this is a perfect gift for this given moment. There’s war coming, Mischa. When her eyes flashed with fear, he shook his head. I will always keep you safe. You need never fear that. I will take you away from here before that happens.
“You’d do that for me?” she breathed, astonished pleasure in her voice. “Christie told me what the Clan means to you all.”
She’s only beginning to understand how vital it is to us and our wellbeing, but that’s nothing in comparison to the health and welfare of our mates. He sucked in a deep breath. The last thing I want is to leave this place, but I know for a fact, Mars and Mundo would do the exact same thing in a heartbeat. It’s just a matter of the situation calling for such a dire response.
“Is this about the way the club is starting to straighten out?”
He nodded. A lot of people aren’t happy with us turning to legal opportunities. I guess if I hadn’t met you, I would have been equally as pissed. Finding you has put me in a difficult position because I can empathize with the dicks who are causing trouble, but at the same time, I want to keep you safe, and I know that Mundo is right.
What Jackson wanted was taking us down into dangerous territory. We don’t mind danger. It’s our stock in trade. And the truth of it is, when you have no mate, you don’t mind your life being on the line. We live long lives, the days pass in a blur… after a while, you stop feeling the passage of time, and the thrill of danger is what keeps you striving on. But now, I have you, and I don’t want that anymore. It doesn’t mean all my brothers feel the same way.
If they know you can read minds, and let’s just assume you can read more than just mine, that puts you in danger. Especially when some of them are going to be thinking shit that goes against the Council and Mars. You have to keep this quiet.
“What if they ask…?”
Before she could finish, he shook his head again. Say your hearing has improved or something. Christie’s came out of the blue.
“Won’t they test me?”
Not unless they want to be confronted with my fists. Knowing he’d snarled at her, even if it was telepathically, he grimaced. Sorry. Mischa, if anyone approaches you, it’s imperative you let me know. Goddess, I wish we could communicate the same way Mars and Annette do. Maybe we should try. Think something, maybe I can hear it too.
When she wrinkled her nose but remained silent, he knew she was complying with his wish to try. But when no thoughts were forthcoming, he had to let out a sigh.
No joy. Dead air.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, apology lacing her tone.
Hey, you don’t have to be. It’s not your fault. It could come in handy, but I don’t want you anywhere near the battlefield, never mind at the front.
“You think I want you out near the front?” she spat, her snarl as bad as his had been. She prodded him in the chest with a slender finger that was tipped by a sharp nail, and he had to withhold the shudder of longing that came at the thought of her dragging those little claws down his back. “You think I went through all I did just to lose you?” Her words brought him back to Earth with a bang. “Jesus, worse than that, if you get hurt, I get hurt anyway. That’s how it works, isn’t it?”
He replied with a single nod. He knew what she meant. If he died, she’d die too.
That was never going to happen.
Mischa’s life, for the most part, had been loaded with a misery that was undeserved, and that had stained the majority of her days. There was no way in hell that she was going to pass on now that she had some happiness in her life, because he’d devote himself to ensuring that the rest of her days were in no way similar to the ones she’d endured without him.
I won’t be on the front. I’m on the Council.
“Bull. That’s where you’ll be needed most.”
This isn’t a war like between nations. It’s internal.
“Just as deadly.”
Her words were cold and bitter but laced with a truth that stung. Brother would soon fight brother if they couldn’t get this under control.
Mutiny was never easily dealt with in the human world, so he could understand why she was taking a pessimistic outlook on this situation. But bears usually dealt with this kind of thing with challenges.
As the thought occurred to him, he wondered if that was even a possibility. Would a series of challenges be enough to stop the Clan from breaking apart, with those who wanted to remain outlaws going one way and those who wanted a more peaceful existence going another? He’d suggested that challenges might be a solution of sorts way back in the beginning, but he had been shot down. The way things were developing though, they were getting desperate.
The truth was, if a challenge urged the Clan into splitting in half, the breakup should be simple—two separate entities wanting their own things and going about it independently. Trouble was, it never worked like that. The ones who wanted to stick to the same path would never allow those who wanted peace to truly leave. How could they? The peacemakers would forever be viewed with suspicion, forever feared that they’d reveal old contacts or the like.
Kiko scraped a hand over his jaw then turned his head when Mischa murmured, “What are you thinking? You’re going too fast for me to translate.”
Oh, that was a tidy piece of information.
“I heard that,” she grumbled, folding her arms over her chest.
His lips twitched. It’s always good to know I can keep some things from you. You should probably be grateful I don’t have much to hide.
Pain slashed through him, a memory he immediately quelled. Because he did have something to hide, didn’t he?
She stared at him, head tilted to the side in confusion. “What was that?”
He clenched his jaw. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. We have bigger things to worry about.”
“Why don’t I believe that?”
“There are things that will affect our immediate future. That’s ancient history.”
“It didn’t feel like that, but I understand your point.” She let out a sigh. “What is a challenge? And why don’t I like the sound of it?”
He huffed. “Because it’s hardly a positive word, is it? Doesn’t exactly inspire hope.” Kiko sighed out, A challenge is usually to the death. It’s in bear form, mostly, but can take place in human form too. That’s a lot less common. Rule is, if one Shifts, the other has to as well. But that’s it, really. Anything goes until first blood. Then, it depends on the situation. If it’s petty shit, then first blood is enough to satisfy honor. In this instance, death will be the only thing any competitor wants.
She shivered. “How many are there of Jackson’s allies?”
He made a face, knowing where she was going with this. “Three.”
“I see.”
“You don’t. Not really.”
“I know that Mars is leader, you’re his second, and Mundo is third in the rankings. Which means you’ll have to be a challenger. To the death.”
As she started to tense up, he quickly inserted, “Technically, Major is third in command, but he never steps up to the plate the way Mundo does.” When she shot him a questioning glance, he explained, “He’s always disappearing.”
KIKO (MC Bear Mates Book 3) Page 10