The room was too big to have any kind of atmosphere. Plus, the place had been decorated by dudes. It had about as much ambience as a fucking barn—white walls, some plastic tables and chairs, still others battered wood. The bar had a gleaming walnut counter because a brother had gotten a discount thanks to a girlfriend’s uncle, and the bottles behind said bar all gleamed with cleanliness. Aside from that, it was a dump. That was all it could be. Too many fights started and ended here. There was no point in having it all fancified.
Still, the one place where there was a little atmosphere was here. Above the pool table was a low light, and in this darkened corner, with the light illuminating the crags on Justiss’s face, Kiko could see his brother’s pain. And he felt for him. He really did.
Exiled without being cast out.
It was an oxymoron, but still, it was the truth. He’d been shunned for speaking out, daring to go against Jefferson’s orders. Hell, the man was lucky to still be alive. A couple of brothers had mysteriously disappeared after doing shit like that—another reason why Kiko knew Mars had kept his trap shut, not before sneaking off and snitching to Annette, his reporter mate. In this instance, Kiko had never been prouder to be friends with a rat.
Justiss took a while to process Kiko’s answer, but he had all the time in the world. He grabbed a cue and took a pot shot at a ball. When he potted it then missed on his next shot, Justiss stepped up to the mark. They carried on in that vein until the table was clear. Then, when Kiko was setting up another game, Justiss cleared his throat.
Kiko sent him a glance then went back to his work.
“Why did I never leave? Because I have nowhere else to go.”
It was a pitiful statement, one that was enough to make Kiko wince, but the truth was, before Mischa, he’d felt the same.
Fuck, their lives sucked.
What was the point in having endless amounts of time on this fucking planet if you spent most of it, if not all of it, wandering around wondering where your other goddamn half was? It was a cruel existence, bitterly so, and Kiko felt the whiplash of it now that he’d found Mischa. So many miserable fucking years… It hurt him that his brothers were still waiting, still suffering.
He didn’t know why the Goddesses punished them so, but he could dislike them for it.
And it never did any brother good to dislike the Goddesses for anything.
“I always believed in you, J. You know that, right?”
His bro snorted. “You, and the three Ms were the only ones who did.”
By that, he meant Mars, Mundo, and Major. Shame they couldn’t just called them the MnMnMs.
“I always felt like we could have done more…”
J shook his head. “Don’t even go there. There’s no point in regretting anything. I should have kept my mouth shut. I just…” He pursed his lips as he took a shot, sinking the white ball into the top left corner pocket. “Shit,” he groused then continued, “I knew Martinez was into some deep crap. Crap that Jefferson wasn’t telling any of us.”
Kiko grimaced. “You know, I always wondered that. What the fuck made you so certain? No one else knew until the deal was done.” Justiss had tried to warn them when Jefferson had called the MC together to discuss the logistics of the new deal with a cartel, but no one had listened. Kiko and Mars hadn’t even been there. They’d been out on another run. It had all been set in stone far too late for anyone high in the ranks to do anything about it.
Looking back, Kiko had to wonder if Jefferson had planned it that way. He’d have to have known Mars wouldn’t agree with human trafficking, so he’d set it all up when Mars was away on a job.
Justiss made a face then broke into Kiko’s ruminations with, “You really wanna know?”
“Wouldn’t have fucking asked otherwise, would I, genius?”
“Martinez’s cartel might be cunts, but they have some of the sweetest weed this side of the Mason-Dixon line.”
Kiko wasn’t sure if they were, but it sure as fuck felt like his eyes were bugging out of his head. “You mean to tell me you were scoring weed off another gang when you could help yourself to ours at any time?”
“What can I say?” He shrugged. “Their dope is better than ours.”
“Jesus, Justiss.” He let out a hissed breath. “Tell me you’re not still buying?”
“’Course I’m fucking not. The minute I saw how badly they were treating those girls—” He grunted. “I stopped. But I knew. At least, I had an idea.”
“How?”
“My dealer,” he admitted simply.
“Fuck. I didn’t even know you smoked pot,” Kiko groused, utterly pissed off and not sure why.
“Why’s it matter? The dealer was a friendly chick. I offered to cut her in on some of the stash I’d just bought.” He smirked. “You know where that led…”
“’Course I do. Bed. You always did have a way with women.”
“Like you didn’t,” J retorted, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, she took a bit too much one night and said a little too much as well. I pieced together the rest, and when I asked her about it when she was sober, she got this look on her face. She was hardcore, K. I mean, seriously. That cartel was her creed. She only fucked me because, like you said, I have a way with the ladies. But she was scared, Kiko. I could tell. Whatever was going on, she felt she was in way over her head.”
Resting his cue on the ground, Kiko rubbed at his jaw then strode over to the bar. “Whiskey. Six fingers, Dev,” he ordered from a new patch-in. When the tumbler was in his hand, he nodded his thanks and sank it back. “Another.” This time, he took the glass back with him to the pool table and grumbled, “You never could do shit simply, J. Fuck. Trust you to bone your way into a sticky situation.”
Justiss snickered. “You do realize what you just said?”
“How old are you? Fifteen?”
When J snickered again, Kiko grunted. “I know, I know,” Justiss admitted. “I didn’t mean to sink in so deep. I just wanted some decent fucking weed, that’s all. None of that shit that we peddle. Tastes like crap, bro. Told Mars that. He said he’d look into some different strains.” His lips twitched. “Sure is nice to have a Prez who fucking listens.”
“Yeah? Well, there are some bros who wouldn’t agree with that.” Kiko worked his jaw a second then strode over to J as he made to take his shot. “Let’s finish this game. I think I have a way to change this sitch, bro. But you gotta be willing to sacrifice something.”
Justiss just folded his arms across his chest. “Like I would be here if I wasn’t willing to do that anyway.”
Kiko nodded, took his shot, and within ten minutes, the pair of them quickly rounded off the game with Justiss beating his ass. They abandoned the pool table and, as Kiko had predicted, the instant they made it to the outer doors that led onto the yard, brothers started to get up from their seats and head toward it.
Shaking his head at the injustice of it, he stepped out into the open air and sucked in a deep breath. Hearing rustling, he turned toward the noise and saw J was prepping a joint. When he cocked a brow, Justiss shrugged. “You know my secret. Why the fuck shouldn’t I smoke in front of you?”
“I don’t get why you kept it a secret from me. The MC, yeah—but me? You know I liked acid in the good old days.”
Laughter barked from J. “Liked it? Fucking hell, I had a hard time getting you to stop diving down into Wonderland. But then, your nightmares were a lot worse back then.” He shot him a look. “Time always did heal all wounds.”
Kiko flexed his arms then fisted his fingers. Words were the worst trigger sometimes, a shared knowledge of his past. It never failed to have him twitching back into the past down a rabbit hole that didn’t end in Wonderland but in a nightmare he’d never really get over.
It made him question his life, his choices, as well as the decisions he had to make and soon. Mischa would probably find out about his past, the details, the nitty gritty… He’d soon see the pity in her eyes when she read his mind a
nd learned firsthand what the bastards had done to him.
Could he stand that? Could he stand her knowing? Was it better to share all—to get it out in the open?
It probably was, but Kiko knew he’d never be able to do it. It was bad enough having his brothers know, never mind his mate.
“Sorry, man, I shouldn’t have brought that up,” J apologized as he lit his spliff, apparently sensing his words had taken Kiko off on a mental journey that never ended in a pleasant destination. When he blew out, he changed the subject and murmured, “Go on then. What’s this sacrifice?”
Eager to accept the new topic, Kiko revealed all. “The three boneheads are stirring up trouble, Justiss. We need three brothers to take them on in a challenge.”
There was no point in pussyfooting around it. No point at all. J would either help or he wouldn’t. Kiko had a feeling it would be the former, but then, he hadn’t realized his brother was a pothead either. If dope could mess with a human’s faculties, he guessed there was a slim chance it would mess with a Shifter’s.
“And I’m one of the chosen ones, eh?” He took a deep inhalation. “Who are the others?” he asked around a cloud of smoke.
Wrinkling his nose at the smell—he’d always hated cannabis—Kiko stated, “Graver and Harvey.”
Brows lifted, J murmured, “In exalted company, I guess.”
“Depends on how you look at it. Graver’s mother isn’t going to be too happy about her son going up for a challenge. Not when she lost Brody last year and Keith ten years ago.” He shrugged a shoulder. “It’s up to Mundo to convince him to take part. The incentive is good enough, I promise.”
J smirked. “Ah, something to sweeten the deal. And what with me smoking a spliff, then hell, it’s exactly the right time for the munchies.”
“Don’t be a jerk, J. You know Mundo, Mars, and I are all newly mated. What would you have us do? Fight and put our mates in danger?”
“Did I say that?” he snarled. “No, I didn’t. But what’s the incentive, Kiko? Don’t leave me in suspense.”
“Why are you being a dick about this?”
“Because you’re using my position in the MC against me. You know I’m practically one man against the club. I’m the outsider here, man. You’re fucking me over.”
“No, I’m not. I’m helping you, jackass,” he snapped. “If you’d just let me explain. If you win the challenge, when you win it,” he amended. “You have a place on the Council.”
“You mean what Mars should have given me all along?” J pursed his lips, then took another puff of pot. He ran his fingers through his white blond hair and tugged at the back of his skull. Rather than mellowing him, the pot seemed to be adding to his agitation.
“I don’t know why he didn’t,” Kiko confessed.
“I love Mundo, man. You know I do. But why him and not me? He’s a cub. No use on the Council. And now you’re trying to turn this shithole straight, I mean, I’d have been perfect. I have so many ideas to explore, and he fucked me over.”
“I don’t know. That’s your beef with him. You can ask him anything you fucking want once you’re behind closed Council doors.”
“This is bullshit.”
“Maybe it is.” Kiko jerked a shoulder. “Maybe it’s a golden opportunity you’d be a dick to throw away.”
J sneered. “That’s just it. You know I’m in no position to say no. That’s why I’m fucked off, Kiko. You’re manipulating me. You’re manipulating us all into putting our lives on the line.”
“What would you do in our situation, J? Jesus Christ, we’re looking at a war here—a battleground in the clubhouse,” he said with a hiss. “You must have felt the tension, heard the gossip. Shit, if you can find out about Jefferson’s plotting weeks ahead of the MC, you must have felt this. Moses, Junkers, and Logann have always been divisive. They know how to stir the shit, and they’re doing exactly that. We need to cut this off at the root, otherwise the MC goes down.”
J shook his head. “Still don’t make it right.”
“Never said it did,” Kiko said with a sigh, and then he did the unthinkable. He grabbed the spliff in J’s hand, put it to his mouth, and inhaled deeply. Grimacing as the smoke collected in his lungs, he blew it out in a slow stream, trying to take advantage of the effects.
Drugs didn’t work so well on Shifters. Their constitutions were strong. They had to up the doses to feel anything. And J was right; whatever the hell he was smoking packed a punch.
A punch he needed.
“You always were honest as fuck.” J let out a growl. “I hate being manipulated.”
“I didn’t have to come to you with this. There are others who would suit just as much. But I hate that you’re an outcast, and I want you on the Council. We wanted brothers who would be popular choices, and let’s face it, that’s not you. If anything, it’s the opposite. You’re the last person I should be asking, but you deserve to be on there. And you’re right. We do need you. If we’re to get this place back on track, then we need someone with vision, and that’s always been you.”
J stared at him a second. “Do you really not know why Mars didn’t put me on the Council? I thought we were tight, me and him. But ever since he took over, he listens when I have something to say, but he doesn’t seek me out. I don’t get why he’d put a cub like Mundo in when a veteran like me, who always has his back, was left out in the cold.”
Because he could understand how that could be a bitter pill to swallow, Kiko sighed. “I really don’t know. Mars had…” A thought occurred to him. “Does Mars know you’re on pot?”
J frowned. “I never kept it a secret from any of you.”
“Yeah, but I’ve known you for decades and I didn’t know. Did Mars?”
He shrugged. “I guess. Caught me with it once or twice.”
“Did he ask you how you knew about Jefferson’s intentions ahead of time?” When J nodded, Kiko grimaced. “That’s your fucking answer, dickwad. Mars doesn’t like drugs, does he? Fucking hates them.”
“I don’t do hardcore shit, man. It’s fucking pot. You were on goddamn acid!”
“In the seventies. Jesus, J. There’s no friggin’ comparison.”
“You mean to tell me because I take a little recreational weed, he snubbed me?” J sounded so astonished, Kiko was hard-pressed not to laugh. He didn’t because he didn’t want to go back to Mischa with a black eye. Still, the temptation was there.
Instead of showing his amusement, Kiko shrugged. “Very likely. You know he hates drugs. He avoided me like the fucking plague back when I was tripping. So, if you’ve been into them long term, it’s no wonder he doesn’t involve you. Remember that time during the sixties? When everyone was on coke? He went off, didn’t he? Couldn’t deal with everyone being high all the time. He’s never liked us messing with the merchandise.”
A groan escaped J, and he stared down at the spliff in his hand as though it had suddenly become repulsive. “If I win the challenge and I still smoke pot, will Mars let me take a place at the Council?”
“How the fuck should I know? I didn’t think to ask him because I didn’t realize you were on fucking weed.” He thought about what Mars had said about Justiss and murmured, “Mars didn’t mention anything against you when I suggested you for this. And if that was his reasoning, it isn’t like anything’s changed. He could have vetoed you. Let’s face it, you’re not exactly what we need on the Council. We need people who are sympathizers with Logann and that bunch of dicks. You’re outcast. It’s part of the reason why I want you, but you’re not the greatest brother to have around the table.”
“Fucking hell, Kiko, why don’t you just stab me, eh?” J snickered, his words angry but his tone amused. He stared back down at his joint then took a long, slow drag. After, he dropped it to the ground, toed it until it was burnt out, and murmured, “I’ve had enough of your honesty for the night. You can tell Mars that I’ll fight. But I’m not happy about being manipulated.”
KIKO (MC Bear Mates Book 3) Page 13