“We’re going to drink in a barn and talk to a horse.” Gordon leaned against the gate and stared at me. “Is this the same horse that Jillian therapized?”
“She didn’t counsel him,” I said, irritated. “She just kept him company. He likes females.”
“Well, maybe you should invite her up here because neither one of us are female.”
There was a cough and a quick bark of laughter. “That’s good to know,” Harry wheezed. His cane struck the floor as he entered.
Exchanging a look with me, Gordon immediately unfolded a chair for the old man. “Mr. Blackwell. I didn’t know that you were coming by tonight.”
“Hadn’t planned on it. Got irritated when Brendan didn’t answer my calls this week,” he said as he sat down. “Figured I’d come down here myself and see what was going on. Saw the light on at the barn. Is that scotch?”
“It is.” Gordon held it up. “Really nice scotch. Not the kind that you drink in a barn, but here we are anyways. Want me to pour you a glass? I think Brendan keeps some real classy mason jars around here somewhere.”
“You know, there was a time when you mucked shit out of a stall too,” I growled as I patted the stallion’s neck. “Just because you moved to the city and decided to be some slick lawyer doesn’t mean you forget where you came from.”
“I’m here, aren’t I? Putting up with your abuse. It’s like déj vu.” He pulled a few glasses down from the cabinet and poured. “I don’t know if you know this, Mr. Blackwell, but Brendan stayed with me after his fake divorce. He was just as surly then, although I think he drank more. I guess responsibility has tempered him a bit. He also slept around a lot. I’m happy to see that has changed as well. I didn’t really love that there was a new girl naked on my couch every weekend.”
“Gordon,” I said sharply. “What the hell is wrong with you, man?”
The older man accepted the drink. “If we’re drinking expensive scotch in a barn and reminiscing about the past, please call me Harry. And continue. I find this story to be quite interesting.”
I shot Gordon a look as he handed me a glass. “I was twenty-two and had a broken heart. Now I’m not twenty-two, and I don’t have a broken heart. The only similarity is that Jillian is gone.”
“You don’t have a broken heart?” Gordon barked in laughter. “Your sister called me three days ago in tears because you told her to quit training horses and stick with what she was good at. I booked her a hotel and spa treatment in the city because she needed to spend some time away from you.”
Inwardly, I winced. I did vaguely remember that conversation. “She’s okay at training horses, but she’s no Debra, and I need her focused on other things.”
“She’s no Debra because Debra has at least a decade of experience behind her, and both Debra and Ben have admitted that one day, she’s going to be good. Really good. The kind of trainer that ranches fight over, and you’re throwing that away because you want people to be just as miserable as you. But, yeah. Your heart isn’t broken.”
I wanted to throw the glass at his head, but I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of Harry. The old man could probably find some way to back out of the contract. “I gave it a shot. She left me. What more do you want me to say?”
Gordon snorted. “You gave it a shot? You blackmailed her into living with you and pretending to be your loving wife so you could get the land, and after you seduced her, you lied to her when you did get the land. Sure. You gave it a shot all right.”
Damn it. Hissing, I looked sharply at Harry. “Sir…”
Harry put up his hand. “No need to explain, Brendan. I may be old and sick, but I’m no idiot. I hired an investigator when you showed up with a wife. I knew what happened all along, and I had my suspicions that you were using her. I planned to call you out on it until I saw the two of you together. Even to a half-blind man like me, it was obvious that the two of you were still very much in love. I thought that maybe going along with this charade would help you see that. I saw the horrible talk show thing that Jillian did. I didn’t know about the miscarriage.”
I didn’t want to talk about that. “Love isn’t enough. It wasn’t then, and it’s not now.”
“No,” Harry said quietly. “Love isn’t enough. You have to put some work into it as well. I couldn’t hold on to the love of my life because I wasn’t willing to yield or compromise. I stood rigid when I should have apologized. I blamed her when I couldn’t find the time for her. And when she left me, I told myself it was for the best.”
Shocked, I stared at him. “But your wife didn’t leave you.”
“Dennis’s mother was not the love of my life. She was the woman that I thought I needed when I wanted to make a name for myself. We both knew it, and I imagine that’s why Dennis has no real love for me or this land. No, I met Mary long before I got married. She knocked the wind right out of me, and before the year was up, I had a diamond ring on her finger. Small, almost pathetic by today’s standards, but she loved it. She loved me.” He cleared his throat, and I saw the brightness in his eyes. Seeing him emotional made me choke up. “But when I started to build this ranch, I told her it was for the two of us. I spent most of my nights here, working, telling her it was for our future, and I never even saw that she was slipping away. I didn’t hear her when she begged me to come home, and when she gave the ring back, it was the second-lowest moment of my life.”
Gordon cocked his head. “What was the first?”
“Realizing that I still hadn’t learned my lesson.” Harry swallowed more of his scotch. “When you showed me exactly what kind of man my son had become. Someone who was so consumed by money that he’d break an old man’s heart.”
“Harry…”
He held up a hand. “You’re already on steadier ground than me, boy. You’ve got your ranch. You’ve achieved your dreams, and now you’re protecting that dream, but if you let that girl walk away from you again, you’re going to end up no better than me.”
“I didn’t betray her,” I snarled. “She’s in the wrong here.”
“Did you tell her that?” Harry’s hands shook as he sat the glass on the floor and grabbed his cane. “Or were you too consumed by anger?”
“What kind of woman thinks that about the man that she loves?”
“One who’s hurting,” Gordon said softly. “Deeply. You lost her once to grief by not doing anything. What do you think is going to happen now?”
His words hit a chord, and I tightened my grip on Silva’s mane. Gordon finished his drink and sat it down. “Going somewhere, Harry?”
“It’s late. Too late for me. I just stopped by for a quick chat.”
“I’ll see you back to your car.” Without looking at me, both men left me and Silva alone.
Sighing, I drained my drink and leaned back to stare at the horse. “What do you think, boy? Are they right?”
He snorted and rolled his eyes. Closing my eyes, I thought back to the day I thought I’d ended our marriage for good. The way my hands had trembled when I signed the papers. The way I’d screamed inside when she gave me a polite smile and walked away.
They were right. I was letting it happen all over again. Jillian may have been in the wrong, but so was I, and I obviously wasn’t learning my lesson quickly enough. “It won’t be easy to get her back here,” I muttered as I bent down and reached into a bag to pull out a carrot. “But she’s worth it, isn’t she?”
His nostrils flared as he sniffed at the carrot. “Go on, now,” I encouraged him. “She won’t be happy with either one of us when she comes back and realizes that you lost weight. You don’t want to disappoint her, do you?”
I knew that it wasn’t possible for the horse to really understand me, but he bent his head and ate the damn carrot.
Picking up the phone, I called Kim. I had some apologizing to do.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Jillian
“Ms. Quinn, given the most recent publicity, how do you expect your clients
to view you as a professional given the mistakes that you’ve made?” Dr. Ross looked down her pointed nose at me as she tapped her fingers on the table.
It was a wildly inappropriate question. I’d defended my dissertation to the board flawlessly, but I knew that this would come up. It had been three weeks since the disaster with Joyce Reid, and even though critics were tearing her apart and her ratings had dropped after several celebrities had refused to interview with her — Cindy’s work no doubt — the popularity of Joyce Reid didn’t mean much to the board. All they saw was the damage to my reputation, and even though they’d have no choice but to pass me, they could turn their backs on me and discredit me.
“The interview was unfortunate, but I believe I handled myself well, and the public is defending me,” I said calmly as I folded my hands. I’d rehearsed this moment so many times in front of the mirror. “We’ve all made mistakes, haven’t we?”
“I don’t believe that any of us have rashly made such an important decision like marriage at such a young age,” Ross said frostily. “Nor did we embarrass ourselves by letting some con artist fake a divorce.”
“I don’t believe it’s my actions that are in question here, Dr. Ross, but rather the publicity of my actions. Misjudgments in love do happen. You married a man who ran off with his secretary last year.” The woman across from me flinched, but I plowed on. “A cliché I’m sure you should have seen coming. Dr. Patterson’s kid had to be bailed out for drunk driving, only one of a series of misfortunes to befall him.” I turned to look the man beside her in the eye. “And, Dr. Isham—”
“Yes, I believe you’ve made your point,” Isham said quickly as he raised his hand.
“Those mistakes aren’t even a blight on their reputation here at the university. You bringing up my mistake at my orals is inappropriate and suggests that you’re threatening to deny my credentials at the school.” I kept my voice even as I stared at the woman. “The situation has resolved itself, and I’m pleased that Reid’s viewers are rallying around me. I believe the latest headline suggested that I was professional even in the face of my own humiliation. Now, who doesn’t want to work with someone like that?”
There was a moment of silence. “Ms. Quinn, you’ve done very well here,” Isham said finally. “We’ll need to convene, of course, but I expect that congratulations are in order. Yes? We are pleased to have such an distinguished woman in our midst, and you’ll be a credit to our program once you’ve completed your internship.”
Everyone at the table, even Dr. Ross, nodded. Pleased, I stood up and shook their hands. “Thank you so much. I’ve waited a long time to hear that.”
As I walked out, I tried not to jump with glee. It was over. Another chapter of my life was behind me, and I was another step closer to well and truly starting to focus on my career.
And my divorce.
I hadn’t heard a single thing from Brendan or Gordon, but I wasn’t deterred. Now, I had the time to get my own divorce attorney and get the ball rolling.
“Jill.” A cold voice greeted me in the hallway. “I hope you do not mind that I was unable to be on the board today. I was asked to exclude myself from your defense given our previous relationship. I trust that Dr. Ross was acceptable in my place?”
Don. I’d almost forgotten about him. After his last email, I’d sent him my rejection as easily as I could. I knew that his feelings weren’t involved, but I didn’t want to upset him. At the time, I had thought Brendan and I would make it.
Even now, I knew I hadn’t made the wrong decision about Don. I forced what I hoped was a pleasant smile. “Of course not! I understand completely, and Dr. Ross was tough, but they all seem to be in agreement. I’ve passed with flying colors.”
His eyes widened even as his cheeks reddened. “Is that so? I was afraid that recent events might damage your reputation here.”
Was that anger I heard in his voice?
“My reputation has nothing to do with the work I’ve put in here at the university. I was a little bit afraid that Dr. Ross might press for the board to approve my dissertation but not support me, but I think I made my points clearly enough. Dr. Isham seemed more than pleased to vouch for me. I don’t think that’s going to be a problem in the future.”
If at all possible, his face grew even redder with each word that I spoke. “So, you just got everything that you wanted, is that it? Stardom before you even graduate. That little tale you spun on television might have fooled everyone else, but it will not fool me. I recognize a woman who spreads her legs for success while the rest of us have to put in hard work.”
His anger stunned me, and I backed up into the wall. “What are you talking about?”
“Is this how you planned it, Jill? Make me look like an idiot when I was ready to start a private clinic with you? When I was ready to marry you and lend my name to help you launch your career? Use that simpering idiot of an actress to advance your career and fuck that ridiculous rancher husband of yours until everyone was just dripping with sympathy? You should have been humiliated on television, damn it. I don’t know how you’re still standing.”
Revelation dawned on me, and my jaw dropped. “You,” I whispered, dizzy with the fact of how wrong I’d been. “You leaked that information to Joyce?”
“It should have ended you!” His face was almost purple with rage.
“All of this time, I thought that you were guiding me,” I said through gritted teeth. “Advising me to keep my feelings in check because you wanted to see me succeed, but you were stifling me. You were jealous of the relationship I’d formed with Cindy and afraid of where that would lead me. And when you couldn’t stop it, you thought you’d try to join me on my way to the top.” Disgusted, I pushed away from him. “You are worthless, Don. A washed-up academic who never could make it work in the real world, and I was your last shot. I can’t believe I was pulled in by your lies.”
I never saw it coming. The punch came hard, striking my jaw and throwing me back into the wall. When he pulled his elbow back again, I ducked, and he slammed his fist into the wall. He howled in anger, and I stumbled away from him. Without thinking, I put my hand over my belly to protect my child.
“Dr. Augusta!” Ross’s outraged voice filled the hall, and we both turned to look. Every single judge from my orals, all twelve of them, were staring at us in horror.
His job at the university was finished. Vengeful satisfaction bloomed inside of me, but it wasn’t nearly as strong as the horrible realization that I’d wrongly accused the man I loved of betraying me.
“Jillian, are you all right?” Patterson asked in a quiet voice. “Should we call the police?”
“No.” I straightened my blouse and pushed my shoulders back. “But I will be writing a report to the university about Dr. Augusta’s conduct. It would make me happy if the twelve of you signed it as witnesses.”
“Of course.” Ross’s lips tightened in a thin line. I had a feeling that Don had expected Ross to bring me down, but obviously striking a woman was not something that she tolerated well.
“I appreciate that. If you’ll excuse me, I have something that I need to do.”
I didn’t even bother to spare Don another look. His hatred was rolling off him in waves, but there was something far more important that I needed to do.
***
A few of the ranch hands recognized me as I wandered the pastures in search of Brendan, but he was nowhere to be found. The house was empty, and the office in the stable was locked up tight. Debra was in the middle of a training session, and I knew the dangers of interrupting her when she was working. No one seemed to know where Brendan was, and someone finally told me that he thought Ben was working on a new fence line.
It was going to take me forever to walk down there, but I needed to see Brendan. Before I headed down the path, I stopped in the stable to check on Silva. I’d missed my stallion.
He wasn’t alone. Kim was at the gate feeding him, and Mickie was sitting up on the gate and
giving her his most charming smile.
I hesitated. I’d left the ranch without even saying goodbye to Kim. How would she feel about me?
Silva’s nose flared, and he turned his head to me. Kim followed suit, but she didn’t greet me nearly as warmly as the horse did. “Mickie, can you give us a second?” she asked softly.
“Only if you give me a second tonight, darling,” he said with a wink as he hopped down. He obviously understood the situation. Tipping his hat to me, he winked at Kim and left without pressing the issue.
“I see he hasn’t given up,” I laughed.
“It’s all for show. Found out yesterday that Mickie has been carrying a diamond ring around in his pocket for some girl he’s been keeping a secret. According to him, there’s so much drama on this ranch that he was afraid to even mention his girl’s name.” She cocked her head to the side. “You understand that kind of drama, don’t you, Jillian? Like leaving without telling your sister-in-law goodbye or accusing the man who loves you of betraying you without proof?”
Oh yeah. She was angry.
“Yes. I suppose I do understand that. Not to add to the drama, but I’m here to make that right. Since you’re here, I figured I’d start with apologizing to you. Despite what happened between Brendan and I, you and I became friends, and I owed you an explanation. It was cowardly of me to go without saying goodbye.”
“Not friends,” she corrected. “Family. You and I were family.”
“You and I are family.” I nodded, tears springing to my eyes. “And I’m sorry.”
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Does that mean you plan on dropping this ridiculous notion of a divorce?”
I chose my words carefully. “I have a lot to answer for when it comes to Brendan. I don’t know that he’s going to want to drop the divorce, but whatever happens, I hope that I can still consider you family. I don’t have much in the way of it.”
After regarding me for a few tense minutes, she finally dropped the walls and flung her arms around me. “Of course you can. Girl, I have missed you. The whole ranch has missed you. Brendan has been an absolute jackass since you’ve been gone and then Silva stopped eating, but Ben and Debra finally slept together, so at least the two of them haven’t been so grouchy.”
Reclaiming My Wife Page 25