by Lexi C. Foss
Patricia caught my arm as I started to leave. “If you ever need help, let me know.”
I looked at her—really looked at her—and noted the true concern in her gaze. “Ryder’s not Silvano,” I finally said. “Pay attention to him. He’ll surprise you.” It was all I could say without really knowing her. While I could sense her sincerity, it wasn’t nearly enough to trust her.
I didn’t need saving from Ryder.
But he’d made it clear that we couldn’t allow others to know that. Not yet.
Patricia gave me a sad smile, one that seemed to say she worried about my mental state. Given how long it took me to see the real Ryder with continued exposure to his decisions, I understood her hesitancy.
She released me as I stepped away, then didn’t try to stop me as I left.
Ryder stood outside, the phone still to his ear. “I said you have my attention,” he said, his voice radiating a calm not reflected in his stance. Upon seeing me, he bent to lift his bag up over his shoulder, then he grabbed my hand and we started walking.
Apparently, his commentary to keep Rick safe went without further related tasks.
“I’m new to this, Lilith,” he said a few minutes later. “You’ll have to review the rules more clearly with me.”
Just hearing her name sent a chill up my spine, but Ryder seemed focused on whatever she was saying. He also appeared to know where to go because he navigated the alleys with ease.
Vampires were outside, all glancing his way in shock at seeing him strolling down their streets.
Several had candles lit inside.
A few even dared to try to approach him, but one shake of his head sent them scampering backward.
His mood radiated off of him in an intoxicating cloud of danger and savagery. I felt dizzy from it, my feet moving quickly to keep up with his long strides.
“I see,” he replied again. “I’ll think on it during my walk over. Then we’ll talk more.” He ended the call and shoved the phone into his bag with a growl that stole the breath from my lungs.
This was Ryder angry.
I hadn’t seen this side of him yet.
On the next block, he finally stopped walking and pushed me up against the side of a building, his mouth capturing mine in the next breath. I shook against him, shocked and dismayed by his sudden affection. Only, it didn’t feel very affectionate. It felt furious. Threatening. Paralyzing.
My lungs stopped working.
Why did this feel so desperate?
A sensation of foreboding twisted in my stomach, causing my eyes to prickle with tears.
It seemed as though he was saying goodbye.
“Ryder,” I whispered.
“Shh.” His tongue entered my mouth, demanding my compliance and reciprocation. I responded because I didn’t know what else to do. This male had come to mean something to me, and I showed him that with my body since I knew he preferred actions over words. Only, he didn’t seem to return the sentiment.
Something was very wrong.
Fundamentally broken.
Missing.
I clung to him as though I could pull the man I knew back to the forefront and reclaim him with my wolf, but he wasn’t there. This man kissing me now resembled a stranger, his emotions locked up tight.
He finally pulled away with a stoic expression. Not an ounce of feeling resided in his gaze. I searched for his inner beast, for the vampire I’d fallen helplessly for, and found a vacant shell of a male in his place.
It all happened so quickly, the reality of it a punch to the gut.
“Come, pet,” he said, his tone holding an icy edge to it that resembled the kind of royal I’d originally expected him to be. “We have a meeting to attend.”
I shivered, my heart in my throat. “Ryder…”
“It wasn’t a request,” he said, turning without grabbing my hand, his steps clipped as he expected me to follow.
I did only because I had nowhere else to go. He was my Sire. My lover. My hope. Where had the light gone? It’d flickered out almost as quickly as the electricity in the city, his presence replaced by a dark, ominous fog.
We have a meeting to attend. I didn’t have to ask to understand whom we were about to meet with. Lilith.
My veins iced over, making my steps stiff.
He continued ahead of me in silence, his shoulders a line of tension.
“Don’t do this,” I said when we reached the next alley. “Don’t shut me out.”
“You were never in,” he returned coldly.
“Lie,” I accused, my feet freezing on the ground, my legs refusing to move. My wolf had come fighting to the front, her dissatisfaction driving my instincts. “You’re mine.”
He turned slowly, his expression eerily tolerant. “I belong to no one.”
“My wolf says otherwise.”
“Your wolf is a child,” he returned. “An infant. You are an infant.”
I narrowed my gaze. “You’re against eating children, yet you ate me just fine when we woke up earlier.”
His eyebrows shot upward.
There, my wolf said, noting the beast flickering in his dark eyes. My words had shocked him nearly as much as they’d shocked me, the sass something I’d internalized for so many years that it almost felt rejuvenating to release it now.
“I’m young,” I continued, stepping toward him. “But that only means I have a lot to learn. You’re going to teach me. You’re going to keep me. And I’m keeping you.” I stopped less than a foot away from him, then poked him in the chest as my wolf growled out, “You’re mine, Ryder.”
I took the last step to close the gap between us, very aware of the aggressive energy growing around him.
“Tell me what’s happening,” I demanded. “Talk to me like your equal. Not your pet. Not your fuck toy. But as your mate.”
“You’re not my mate,” he tossed back, the words so cold and heartless I nearly collapsed beneath the weight of his sharply phrased denial.
However, my wolf reacted differently, her fury a wave of fiery resolve that sent my palm upward to crack across his jaw. “Lie.”
His head swiveled with my slap, his anger mounting in response. But I’d take that reaction over this stoic asshole pretending to be my Ryder. “Willow.” The warning in his voice only made me want to push him more, so push him I did—literally—with two hands against his chest.
“You don’t get to do this,” I told him. “Not after you’ve convinced me to trust you. To believe in you. To see this different side of you. To change every perception I’ve ever had of this world.” I shoved him again. “You don’t get to take that man away. He’s my vampire. And I refuse to allow this emotionless asshole to taint what we have. So you turn him right off and come back. Now.”
I went to jostle him a third time, only to find my wrists caught in his grip.
He dropped his bag on the ground and walked me backward into yet another wall, but this time when he took my mouth, there was a passion I recognized. A fire I longed to stoke. A flame I could happily die inside.
His fangs sank into my lip, my blood pooling between us as he deepened the kiss. He wove his fingers into my hair, tugging harshly, while his opposite palm went to my hip.
I returned his ferocity with my own, my anger and fear exploding through my tongue.
He’d betrayed me.
Tried to tune me out.
Had hurt me, not physically but emotionally. And I let him know with my teeth that he would not be doing that again.
He growled as I bit him in the same way he’d bitten me, my wolf staking her claim once again, reminding him I wasn’t just a plaything or a pet. I was his pet. His progeny. His lover. His future.
We hadn’t spoken about the next steps, and I no longer needed to because I was telling him now with my mouth exactly where we were headed.
He couldn’t push me away.
He couldn’t ignore me.
He couldn’t claim I meant nothing.
Becaus
e I saw through that veil of emotionlessness.
His beast recognized mine. He might not be able to shift, but I’d awakened that part of him. I felt it in his touch, our souls dancing in a way no one else could understand.
“Fuck,” he whispered, his hand going to my waist as he lifted me into the air. I wrapped my legs around him, devouring his mouth with my own, claiming him as if it were the first time.
And maybe it was.
I’d been living in this world of uncertainty.
Unsure of what happened next.
When all along I just needed to take it.
Our blood mingled in our mouths, his palms roaming over my body in a dark obsession, his arousal prominent between my thighs.
But this wasn’t about sex.
It was about a vow, about fulfilling our destiny together.
“Don’t you ever deny me again,” I told him, panting against his mouth.
“She has Damien,” he replied, his voice breaking. “She made me listen to his screams until there was silence.”
I cupped the sides of his face, noting the emotions shattering through his gaze. “Oh, Ryder,” I whispered, realizing what had set him off. He’d shut down because it was too much for him to accept, the pain of his progeny’s agony ripping him apart.
I saw it then, the hopelessness of the male battling the rage of his inner beast.
He’d closed himself off to avoid processing it all.
But that wasn’t the solution. Actually, after everything he’d told me the last few weeks, I suspected that was exactly what Lilith had wanted.
“Don’t let her into your head,” I said. “You’re not like them, Ryder. And that’s your biggest strength. At least to me.”
His dark irises roamed over my features as though searching for the truth. I opened myself to him, allowing him to explore me without any barriers. Because there were none between us. He’d possessed me from the very beginning. He owned me. I still wore the collar around my neck to prove it.
He kissed me again, this time gentler, his mouth saying words only my heart could hear.
And then I felt his resolve snapping into place.
My Ryder never did what anyone expected. But for the first time, I had an inkling of what was to come. Only because I’d learned to anticipate his unprecedented reactions.
“Thank you,” he whispered before slowly returning me to my feet. “Let’s go.”
This time I felt the warmth in his hand as he laced our fingers together, just as I noted the assuredness in his stance. He retrieved his bag once more and nodded, some sort of decision made.
Whatever it was, I hoped it involved blood. Because I was thirsty for it.
32
Ryder
Lilith had given me an ultimatum.
“Return to your reclusive property willingly, and I’ll let you take Damien with you. Or you can try to fight for your royal position, in which case…”
That was when the screaming had started.
I never wanted to hear that sound from his mouth ever again.
He was in pain because of me. Because I’d asked him to help me bait Lilith, then I’d left him here to handle all my duties alone while I’d played with Willow.
Everything inside me had shut down in response, my guilt evoking emotions I’d thought were long dead.
Then Lilith had delivered her parting words. “And, Ryder? I know all about your little hybrid. Kill her as a sign of good faith, and I’ll allow you entry into the building to retrieve your progeny.”
She wanted me to choose between Damien and Willow.
She wanted me to choose between returning to my solitude and doing what was right.
Well, I refused both choices.
I’d decided on a third option.
One she wasn’t going to like.
Willow had pulled me back from a decision I didn’t know how to make. I’d turned off my emotions, preparing to offer myself in exchange for Damien’s life, and she’d forced me to see the crucial flaw in my reasoning.
It’d all happened so quickly, my mind shutting down at the bizarre sense of failure overwhelming me.
I never lost.
I always won.
And for the first time in my very long existence, I felt as though I’d been defeated.
Then the little warrior beside me slapped common sense into me, reminding me that we were in the middle of a battle, not at the end of it. I couldn’t give up before the game had been called.
Lilith had played me well, her continued mastery in this match impressive. She’d pitted us all against each other at some point, placing her pawns around the board in exactly the locations she desired.
Only, I’d brought her here through some plays of my own.
I’d removed the queen from the sanctity of her kingdom and brought her to my playground for a reason.
She might have arrived early and thrown me off-kilter with her underhanded moves, but I still had a few plays left in me.
Lilith had chosen the wrong vampire to fuck with.
She’d underestimated my skill and age from the beginning, just as I’d underappreciated her knack for deviousness.
But now I knew better.
And she did not.
Which I intended to use to my full advantage.
I paused a block away from the main building to gather my bearings. I’d checked the map on my phone before deciding on our route, and now I wanted to check it again. Dropping the bag, I opened it to retrieve the device, then clicked on the GPS I’d pulled up while talking to Lilith.
Willow glanced at it, her blue eyes glowing with intent. “What’s the plan?” she asked, her faith in me resolute.
“Lilith wants your head,” I said.
Her eyes flew upward. “What?”
“She said I have to kill you to be allowed entrance into the building. Which tells me she has guards in place. But I’m wondering if she’s accounted for all entry points.” Benita would have provided her with all the door locations. Just as I assumed Benita was to blame for Lilith being able to capture Damien. That was a decision she would soon regret.
I analyzed the roads leading up to the building, determining my preferred approach.
“The Vigils who attacked us probably belonged to Lilith,” I said. “Which suggests she’s using humans to guard the doors, too.” Unless she’d found a few allies in my region through Benita, which was also entirely possible.
I started going through the bag again, pulling out items that would help us. I handed two grenades to Willow. “Don’t pull those pins,” I warned her.
I found the gun she’d originally had in the car—she must have put it back when I was talking to Patricia—and I evaluated the ammunition left in the bag.
“It’s too bad I didn’t bring a rifle.” Then I could have gone up to the roof of a building and picked off her guards, only that would provide her with enough time to kill Damien. So never mind. A rifle would have been a bad play.
Calculations rolled through my head as I added up weapons and bullets, considered trajectory of entry, and speculated the number of guards she’d have queued up inside.
“She would’ve arrived by air,” I said, more to myself than to Willow. “And she would have landed between the time I spoke to Damien earlier and our arrival. Rick would have noticed any nearby air traffic, so I’m guessing she only had one jet. A small one. Maybe ten passengers, max. She’s also banking on her Damien card keeping me in check.”
Which all added up to her being insufficiently guarded. At least in theory.
“All right, here’s what I want you to do,” I said, a strategy unfolding through my thoughts. “You’re going to run like hell toward the entrance. Act as though you’re terrified. Scream and beg for me not to do this. Put on one hell of a show. Then, when you’re close enough to the front, I need you to pull the pins out of those grenades.”
I paused to show her how they worked. Once I was satisfied that she understood, I conti
nued.
“So you pull out the pins, then throw the grenades at the glass entrance and dive behind the palm tree planters outside for cover.”
I dug back into the bag again to find some earplugs.
“You’ll need these to protect your lycan senses,” I added, handing them to her. Then I picked up the gun she hadn’t used earlier. “Can you hide this somewhere?”
She looked at her shirt and pants before shaking her head. “Not if I’m carrying these.” She held up the grenades.
Hmm, unfortunately, I hadn’t brought additional holsters.
“The grenades will have to do. If they’re like the Vigils, they won’t even be armed anyway.” My kind very rarely played with weapons now that humans were no longer a threat. Another miscalculation in Lilith’s approach—she expected me to react like a vampire, not a mortal. She clearly didn’t understand my appreciation for toys that killed.
“Where will you be?” she asked.
“I’m going in through the glass,” I told her, checking the gun in my holster and reloading it appropriately. Then I picked up her discarded weapon, and a third one from the bag. These would have to be enough because I couldn’t carry this bag with me into the building.
“Glass?” she repeated.
I stood, smirking. “You’ll see.” Then I stepped into her and pressed my mouth to hers. “Start running, little wolf. Act scared.”
“That’s it? No other pep talk? No further plan?”
“Trust me, it’ll be enough. Now go be my distraction. I have some work to do.”
“You going to tell me which way to go?” she demanded, sounding adorably annoyed by my lack of directions.
I kissed her again, just because. My lip was still bleeding from her earlier bite, reminding me of her yanking me back to a proper frame of mind.
She’d grounded me in a way no one ever had. And I was pretty sure I gave her my heart in that moment for safekeeping. Or perhaps she already owned it. I couldn’t really say, but she absolutely had it now.
“It’s one block down through there,” I said softly, gesturing at the road. “You can just make out that hideous floral display Silvano installed as a driveway entrance.”