The Promise of Rainbows

by Ava Miles

  Her new car got her to the meeting spot in twenty-four minutes flat since there was no traffic this time of night. Okay, and she’d sped a little. Well. More than a little.

  Sadie jumped out of J.P.’s truck and ran to her. Her hug was fierce, and Shelby knew she was scared too. Hadn’t she prayed the whole way, fighting the urge to call Mama and flat out ask her what was going on? But if Mama hadn’t said earlier, she wasn’t going to. That’s what made people tell her things they’d never share with another soul.

  J.P. didn’t get out of his idling truck, but when Shelby scooted into the cab, he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

  “Good to see you, darlin’,” he said. “Now, buckle up and let’s get this done.”

  Sadie awkwardly leaned across her to kiss their brother, and because Shelby was worried, she didn’t nudge her in the ribs for crushing her.

  She and Sadie reached for each other’s hands as J.P.’s headlights illuminated Jake’s long driveway.

  “Do you really think his alarm is going to go off?” Sadie whispered.

  “Maybe it will be all right since he knows J.P.’s truck,” Shelby said.

  “I was joking about the alarm,” J.P. said, clearing his throat. “He may have one, but I doubt it. He’s a pretty good shot from his military days. He doesn’t need an alarm.”

  Shelby punched him since she was closer. “How terrible of you to joke like that. You nearly scared us to death, making us worry about the police showing up.”

  “I would look terrible in an orange jumpsuit,” Sadie said with an edge in her voice.

  “You do look terrible in that color,” Shelby said, keeping her eyes on the road—not that they could see much else. “Goodness, it’s dark out here. I sometimes forget what it’s like outside of the city.”

  Something ran in front of their car. The tail was long, and the pointed head was disgusting.

  “Was that a possum?” Sadie asked.

  “Yes,” J.P. said, his aggrieved tone back. “Hush now. We’re getting closer.”

  They both shushed, and then Shelby punched him in the arm again. “Don’t tell us to hush. No one can hear us outside this car.”

  She looked over and saw his mouth twitching. “My mistake.”

  The house inched slowly into view. Lights were shining in a few of the windows, but the front porch lights weren’t on, so they couldn’t see much else.

  Her brother drove into what looked like a circular driveway. “Get the ice cream story ready.”

  “It’s drinks,” Shelby reminded him.

  Sadie gasped when J.P.’s headlights illuminated her sister’s Audi.

  “She’s here!” Sadie called out, messenger of the obvious. “What do we do now?”

  J.P. put the truck in park. “Well, seeing as how they likely know we’re here, we should go on up to the front door to deliver our lame excuse for why we’ve shown up for a visit after nine o’clock on a school night.”

  Shelby saw a muscular frame appear in the front window.

  “He’s seen us,” Sadie declared, panic lacing her voice. “Where is Susannah?”

  How was Susannah going to react to them showing up unannounced? Hopefully, she’d feel supported by her family.

  “Of course he’s seen us,” J.P. said, shaking his head. “Let’s get on out of the truck.”

  “You do the talking, J.P.,” Sadie suggested. “He knows you best. We can see to Susannah.”

  “Unless Jake is seeing to her,” Shelby said, but she doubted it. Susannah was a certified mother hen, and if Jake was seeing their mama for therapy, he needed one.

  The air was cool on Shelby’s cheeks as she followed Sadie out of the truck. She nestled close to her sister, and her brother slowed his steps so they could keep up with him in their heels. The front door opened, revealing Susannah next to Jake. Thank God.

  “Evenin’,” her brother called out. “I know it’s late, but we wanted to see if y’all wanted to join us for a drink.”

  The request was as lame as they came, but at least it wasn’t an out-and-out lie. As they neared the door, Shelby could see her sister’s pale face in the light from the entryway. The look on Susannah’s face made her desperate to run up and hug her. Then she noticed that Jake was holding her sister’s hand. His own face seemed carved out of stone today. Something had definitely happened. Mama had been right to call for prayers.

  Susannah leaned close to Jake and whispered something. When he turned to look at her, Shelby saw the corner of his mouth tip up. He mouthed something to her, but it was impossible to make out the words. What was possible—heck, undeniable, if she had to use a word—was the sheer power of their connection. Something had definitely grown between them since she’d last seen them together.

  “Why don’t y’all come in?” Jake suggested.

  The McGuiness siblings entered the house, each of them hugging Susannah fiercely in turn. Her return squeeze told Shelby all she needed to know. Unexpected or not, she was happy to see them.

  J.P. gave Jake a man hug, and Shelby decided to be bold and give him one too. Heavens knew the man looked like he needed it. Sadie followed suit.

  His entryway featured a curvy staircase leading to the second floor. A painting of a man playing his guitar stood on the wall opposite the doorway. At any other time, Shelby would have taken in every detail. But this wasn’t the time.

  Jake led them into a den and gestured for them to sit on the couch. They all took a seat there, and Shelby crossed her legs out of awkwardness. Susannah stood by Jake, and if she hadn’t known better, she would have thought her sister was protecting him.

  “Thanks to your wonderful sister here, I have a bar caddy now,” Jake said, rolling his shoulders like he was about to step into a boxing ring. “What can I get you to drink, ladies?”

  “Wine would be fine for me,” Shelby said, noticing how Jake reached for Susannah’s hand again.

  Sadie gave Shelby a knowing look. “Me too.”

  “I’ll get y’all some,” Susannah said softly. “Would you like a beer, J.P.?”

  “That would be mighty fine,” he answered, setting his hands calmly in his lap. “Can I see what you have, Jake?”

  Jake and Susannah shared a look.

  “Sure,” the man answered. “Come this way.”

  “I’ll find a bottle in the chiller and pour them some wine,” Susannah told Jake, putting her hand on his arm.

  His chest seemed to rise like a mountain’s shadow at night. “Thank you, J.P. Let’s get you that beer.”

  Shelby bit her lip, watching as they left the room. Jake was obviously upset, but he was making a brave showing. Sadie ran over to Susannah, and Shelby followed suit. They wrapped their arms around their sister.

  “Mama called,” Sadie whispered harshly. “She said you needed prayers. We got scared.”

  Susannah was gripping them back with all her strength.

  “Are you all right?” Shelby asked.

  “That poor man,” Susannah whispered and then pressed back. “He needs prayers too. What he must have gone through…”

  “What happened?” Sadie asked, cuddling closer.

  “I can’t talk about it now,” she continued, “but I’ll tell you later. I know it must have been weird for y’all to come over here and check on me, but I’m so glad you did.”

  Someone cleared their throat, and their heads swiveled. J.P. had his hands in his pockets. He walked forward slowly, his lips pursed in thought.

  “Jake doesn’t feel much like a drink tonight, after all,” he told them. “He wanted me to give his apologies.”

  Susannah’s face fell. “You need to go. I’ll stay a while longer.”

  J.P. shook his head. “Jake asked me to stay behind and chat. Susannah, can you see the girls to their cars?”

  “Where are y’all parked?” Susannah asked, staring in the direction of the kitchen with a concerned look in her eyes.

  “Ah…at the end of Jake’s lane,” Shelby said, twisting
her hands.

  Her sister didn’t seem to hear her or find anything strange in that comment. “Fine. I’m …going to say goodbye to him.” She walked a few steps and then turned. “Are you sure you’re all right to stay, J.P.?”

  He nodded. “It’ll be fine, Susannah. I’ll take good care of him.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, but she shook her head as if to deny them. “Be right back.”

  As soon as Susannah left the room, Sadie reached out and clutched Shelby’s wrist. “Oh, she’s crying. J.P., do you know what happened?”

  “Did Jake say anything?” Shelby shot out.

  “Nothing more than what I told you,” her brother said gravely. “Y’all take good care of Susannah, you hear?”

  They both bobbed their heads. Susannah came back, wiping tears from her eyes. They rushed toward her.

  “It’s okay,” she said, patting the hands they’d stretched toward her. “Let’s go.” She paused and wrapped her arms around J.P. “Thanks for taking care of him for me.”

  “Don’t worry, sugar,” he said, kissing her cheek. “I’ve got him now.”

  The sisters held hands on the way to Susannah’s Audi. She drove them to their cars, but when she put the car in park, silence descended.

  “We’re coming over to your house,” Shelby said.

  “Don’t even think of putting us off,” Sadie added.

  Susannah only nodded.

  As Shelby walked toward her convertible, she pressed a hand to her heart. Her sister was in love—all the way in love.

  And from the look of it, Jake was a much more troubled man than any of them had thought.

  Chapter 16

  “I told my sisters to go on and head out,” J.P. told Jake when he wandered back into the kitchen.

  Jake loosened his grip on the edge of the kitchen sink. He’d been staring out into the blackness. Susannah’s touch and their connection had kept him from being enveloped by the familiar void, but he could feel it on the edge of his consciousness. One of his favorite writers on fear and anger—Pema Chodron—had a saying: Don’t Bite the Hook. And he was doing his best not to get sucked back into the story of today or the past. He was trying to be present. But honestly, he was exhausted, the kind of bone-deep fatigue that came from facing all your demons and crawling away to survive one more time.

  Susannah had been exhausted too. He’d known it was time to send her home because of the way she’d clutched her sisters like they were life vests. Asking J.P. to stay a while would help ease her worry, so he’d gone ahead and done it.

  “You can head on home to Tammy and the kids any time,” he said, turning around.

  The situation could hardly be more awkward, but J.P. was the embodiment of calm.

  “They’re at their other house tonight since Annabelle has a cold.”

  “Sorry to hear that. She’s a sweet girl.” Even thoughts of her didn’t ease him.

  J.P. reached into the refrigerator for the beer Jake had never offered him. “Would you like a beer?” He popped the top using the edge of the countertop—a move Jake had never mastered. Yeah, he couldn’t remember where his bottle opener was. His mind was mush.

  “Best not,” Jake responded, leaning back against the counter to support himself.

  “I want you to know that my sisters and I don’t usually show up unannounced,” J.P. said after taking a sip. “Our mama called us and asked us to let Susannah know we’re praying for her, which is code in my family for something big being wrong. Mama wouldn’t say what, of course. When Susannah didn’t pick up her phone, Sadie drove by her house. After some discussion, we decided to see if she was out here with you. I did try contacting you to ask.”

  He was relieved to hear Susannah’s siblings didn’t know the full scope of the situation. The sound of the truck approaching had put him on high alert. No one came to his home unless he knew about it, like with the BBQ delivery man earlier.

  And then the McGuinesses had stepped out of J.P.’s truck. Susannah hadn’t made any calls, so for a horrible moment, he’d imagined that her mama had asked them to come get her. It was one thing for him to be messed up. Perhaps it was another thing for him to be messed up with her daughter. Talk about the paranoia that comes from PTSD.

  “I appreciate you sharing that,” Jake said, studying his boots. “You really don’t need to stay.”

  “We’ve known each other for a spell now,” J.P. said, easing back against the opposite counter. “I know a friend in need when I see one. Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

  Shame flushed his cheeks. He’d told J.P. some stories about his time in the Army to help inspire some of the songs they wrote together. But this? It involved his sister. If he told him everything, J.P. might not want him to be involved with Susannah. Perhaps it would be good to find out. He wasn’t too sure what to do right now. He wanted Susannah, but he was more scared than ever to be with her after today.

  “I know you won’t say anything to anyone,” Jake said, bracing himself, “but I’d still like to ask for your confidence.”

  “You have it,” J.P. said, resting the beer against his chest.

  And so, Jake told him about the day’s events. His friend listened without interruption, watching him all the while.

  “Your sister…she wants to be involved with me despite all this. Even though I deeply care for her…” Care was a tame word, but he wasn’t prepared to use the word “love.” That had too much power. “I don’t know if us being involved is a good idea. Your mama thought it might be. Before today.”

  “When are you seeing my mama again?” J.P. asked, his brow knit in deep thought.

  “Tomorrow morning.” His mouth was suddenly bone dry, so he refilled his water glass.

  “That’s good. That’s real good. Why don’t we sit a spell?”

  The chairs scraped the floor as they sat at the kitchen table. J.P. set his beer down and leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “My mama has plenty of experience with people who have PTSD, so she’s got a good head on her shoulders. See what she says tomorrow. But I’m your friend, and I’ve also fallen in love with someone who had PTSD.”

  Jake was sure his mouth about dropped open. Then it hit him. “Tammy.” Funny, he saw PTSD as a man’s problem, but the disorder wasn’t exclusively for people serving in the military. Plenty of women had PTSD too.

  Nodding, J.P. continued, “I met Tammy right after she’d left her ex-husband, but I waited almost a year to ask her out. I wanted her divorce to be final, obviously, but I also wanted to give her enough time to heal from it.”

  J.P. certainly had been patient, which was more than honorable, if you asked him.

  “Some might say, I shouldn’t have gotten involved with a women who was still recovering from domestic violence,” J.P. said with a shrug. “Frankly, the thought never occurred to me. Tammy is the most wonderful woman in the world. Nothing would have stopped me from being with her.”

  Was that how Susannah thought about him? Her behavior certainly suggested it. His heart squeezed in his chest. But how could she want to be with him when he had so much baggage?

  “Maybe Susannah is like me in that regard,” J.P. said, pausing for a moment. “She doesn’t see any reason not to be with you when you both obviously care about each other.”

  Jake shifted in his chair. “I do care about her. I have from the beginning. I didn’t ask her out—”

  “Because you were concerned about your PTSD,” J.P. finished for him. “I guessed as much. I was hoping your worry might fade, or Susannah’s feelings for you would grow enough that you’d cave like Tammy did with me. She resisted at first. Heck, that woman still hasn’t agreed to marry me yet. But I support her and love her just the same. And she will marry me. Love always wins out.”

  Jake liked to believe that, but he knew firsthand that the world didn’t always work out the way it should. “Susannah is like you, and for that I’m grateful. More grateful than you could know. Ho
w she acted after what I did today… Well, it’s a sheer miracle, and I don’t believe in them much anymore.”

  “There’s always the promise of rainbows, Jake.”

  Those words again. “What? You too?”

  J.P. chuckled softly. “It’s not just something my mama says. She used to say you could wish for a rainbow after a storm with your whole heart and one might appear. It might sound crazy, but I believe it to be true. Not all rainbows are visible to the naked eye. Tammy and the kids are my rainbows, and I’m theirs.”

  Jake’s mama had told him to hush his mouth whenever he’d talked about things like magic and stardust when he was a boy. “That’s really beautiful, man.” And he meant it as both a friend and as a fellow artist.

  “Tammy won’t mind me saying so, but she thought she was messed up too. We’ve talked before about some of the problems you faced after you left the Army. Things have gotten a heck of a lot better for you, Jake, if you ask me.”

  All that was true, and he’d tried to hold onto that thought like a drowning man would hold onto a piece of driftwood. He ran a hand through his hair. “The thing is…except for the nightmare I still have on and off, I felt like I had my remaining symptoms under control. Flashbacks and mental tricks like tasting sand in my mouth. Now I’m afraid—”

  “That you’ve backtracked,” J.P. finished for him, picking up his beer and taking a swig. “When you start to care about someone, it has a way of bringing other things up. Rather like deep water fishing, if you ask me. It sounds like being with Susannah is doing that for you.”

  Jake rubbed his forehead. There were dried salt crystals there from all the sweating he’d done today. God, he needed a shower. “I’m worried it’s getting worse again. While there’s a lot written about PTSD, the experts don’t know if it ever completely goes away.” And didn’t that fear drive a stake in his heart?

  “So you’re supposed to go your whole life without the love of a good woman and family?” J.P. said. “In my opinion, that’s bullshit.”