“Is that something that you want to continue doing when you move to San Clemente?”
“I wouldn’t trust myself. The job is too important to have somebody who isn’t a hundred percent.” It took everything he had to act casually and continue to smile and feed the dogs.
“What are you planning on doing when you get to California?”
“I haven’t really thought about it.”
“You haven’t thought about it, or you’ve just avoided thinking about it?”
“What’s the difference?” She dipped her head so that the hood of the slicker hid her face. He couldn’t stand it. He tugged at one of the red curls that were escaping the yellow material, forcing her to face him. “Zac, I’m going to be fine.” Her smile was heartbreaking. He slid his hand behind her neck and brought her inexorably closer, until finally their lips were a hair’s breadth apart.
“Fine isn’t good enough, Angel.” He whispered kisses against her lips until she let him in. Then she moaned, and her arms wrapped around him, and they clung together. When she gave him a slight push, he reluctantly released her. He ached to hold her again when he saw the fine trembling in her slim hands, but looking into pleading green eyes, Zac gave another false smile.
“I think the dogs would love a game of fetch. Feel up for it?” She gave him a grateful smile and they spent the rest of the time playing with the dogs. Thankfully it was an easy task for Beauty and Chaos to lift Brianna’s spirits, and once again they were back into the spirit of play. It was exactly the mood he was hoping for. He knew that tonight’s intervention had the potential to leave her in tatters. He still wasn’t sure if having the psychologist there was going to make it better or worse. He knew Dr. Anderson, Emily took care of his horse, He was a good man, but having the talk so official was just going to hurt Brianna even more.
A loud bark interrupted his thoughts and he looked down to see that Chaos had laid a stick at his feet. He threw it far down the beach. Both dogs went running after it, and Brianna laughed as both dogs detoured to play in the surf after Beauty got the stick.
“My God, your suburban is going to be a wet mess.”
“The tarp is a twofer,” he explained as he threw his arm around her shoulders. He went to collect the things, and Brianna helped him roll everything up. When they were done, Zac whistled for the dogs to follow them back to his SUV. Before the dogs got in, he rolled out the tarp in the back. It was still going to be a wet mess, but at least it wasn’t going to have a lot of wet dog hair.
He walked her back up the stairs to her apartment and stole another kiss.
“I’d invite you in, but I have plans for dinner over at Chance and Sam’s house. I have to go get ready. Maybe you, Charlie, and I could go out tomorrow?”
“How much longer are you going to be here, Brianna?”
“I promised Olivia I wouldn’t leave until she returns from Boston. She is due back in four days.” For a brief moment he considered the wild idea of following her down to California, but he knew that wasn’t the right answer. First, she wouldn’t want that. And second, he would be following her into a half-life, a life she truly wasn’t meant to live. That meant he would be seeing her tonight at Sam and Chance’s house.
“You know I love you, right?”
“You know I never meant to hurt you, don’t you, Zac?” He kissed the tip of her nose.
“I will never regret a single moment of loving you, Angel. I hope you’ll always feel the same way.” She threw her arms around him.
“Always, Zac. Always.”
Chapter 25
She hoped that Chance hadn’t cooked a big meal. She was still stuffed from lunch. But she wouldn’t be disappointed if Josie had some kind of killer dessert waiting for her. She knocked on the door and was surprised when Butch answered. She gave him a big hug. He ushered her into the living room. As soon as she saw Olivia sitting there, she realized she had been set up.
“Baby girl, Betty and I have rarely asked you for anything. Can you please stay and hear us out? I mean stay for the entire hour?” Butch kept his strong warm arm around her as she gazed around the room. Olivia looked at her with a warm and guilty expression. Yep, Brianna had definitely been set up.
“This is an intervention, right, Dad?”
“You got it in one.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze.
“Come sit on the couch between your mom and me.” Brianna continued to look around. Sam and Chance, but no Josie. Olivia was seated on another couch flanked by Charlie and Zac. Then there was a man she didn’t recognize seated in a chair by himself. After she sat she turned to him.
“So you’re the shrink?”
“Psychologist. My name is Eli Anderson. I’m only here as a facilitator.”
“Why? I would have thought you’d have all sorts of opinions and tell me that I was right or wrong.”
“How can I do that if you and I have never talked? I can inform you what might be appropriate for different people with schizophrenia, at different stages of the disease, and how they might deal with it. I do have people I work with, but I wouldn’t presume to know what is appropriate for you without first talking to you about your symptoms.”
“That’s bullshit.” The knot in the pit of Brianna’s stomach got worse, not better. “You’re lying to me. You do too have opinions. You’ve already made up your mind. You’re on their side. They’ve already told you their side of things, and you think I’m overreacting.” Brianna heard her voice getting louder. Good, maybe that would help convince him she was crazy.
“Brianna, I went and saw Eli for over a year when I was working through my posttraumatic stress disorder. Hell, I still see him when my job as a social worker gets too overwhelming,” Sam explained. She glared at her brother. He was probably the sneaky bastard who organized this intervention. When had he become such a fucking do-gooder?
“I don’t really give a shit, Sam. Was this your idea?” She bit out the question, daring him to lie to her.
“Nope, this was my idea,” Olivia said as she got up from the couch and came over to kneel in front of Brianna and take her hand. “Honey, I love you so much. I can’t stand the idea of you punishing yourself this way.”
“Jesus, Livvy. You have totally fucked up what an intervention is about. An intervention is when somebody is out of control, and needs to be reeled back in. When they’re off their meds, or abusing alcohol or drugs. I’m the poster child for self-care.” She yanked her hands out of her sister’s, but she couldn’t break away from Livvy’s intent blue gaze.
“No you’re not. You’ve never once gone in for counseling, now have you?”
“I don’t need to. Until recently I never exhibited any signs.” She was now nose-to-nose with Olivia.
“One incident, when you were under extreme duress is not a sign of schizophrenia.”
“Don’t use your high and mighty CEO voice on me, Livvy.”
“Then talk rationally.”
“See, I am crazy!”
“Don’t twist my words.” Brianna smiled in satisfaction at Olivia’s frustration.
“Boo-hoo, is your intervention not going well? That’s because I don’t need one. You fucked up Ms. Know-It-All.”
“Let me tell you something. An intervention is when somebody is intent on a course of action that is harmful to themselves. You’re still buying into the shit that your father said. This isn’t about the fact that you might be sick. This is some deep seated belief that you’re that demon your dad always called you.”
She was off the couch and across the room before she even realized it. Sam blocked the way to the hall.
“Please stay, Brianna. You’re free to go at any time. But please stay. We all love you. We’re doing this because we love you, and you’re smart enough to want to know the truth. If something triggers such a strong response, don’t you want to follow that?”
“Not in front of all of you! I’m not a fucking demon.” Sam reached out and hugged her, hard. She hugged him back even
harder. God she loved this man. He was her brother, her rock. Even as mad and hurt as she was, hugging him felt good. “I’m not a demon,” she repeated.
“No you’re not,” he whispered into her ear. “Please stay, little sister. I’m begging you. You know I have your back no matter what. But please stay.”
She tiptoed up and whispered into Sam’s ear. “Why are Charlie and Zac here?”
“They love you, sis. I really believe they are part of our family now. They want to stick by you. But if they make you too uncomfortable, if getting rid of them will make you stay, they’re outta here.”
God, she loved her family. Why couldn’t she have been born into it? But looking into Sam’s eyes, she saw a kindred spirit. He, too, had been through the fires. She pushed away from him.
“I’ll stay,” she said loudly enough for the others to hear. She turned to the doctor. “Tell them that PTSD is nothing like schizophrenia. Tell them how much worse schizophrenia is.”
The palms of her hands hurt, and she realized she was holding her hands in fists, and digging her nails into her palms.
“I can’t do that, Brianna. Each case is different. In two people, one with PTSD, and one with schizophrenia, the PTSD in that person can be much more difficult to manage than the schizophrenia is for the other person.”
“You’re being deliberately obtuse.” Brianna was close to gritting her teeth. “Which disease can you more easily manage? Which disease can have the symptoms go away with time?” She heard herself spitting out the questions. She felt the stares of her family, of Zac and Charlie, and she really didn’t give a shit. They shouldn’t even be here.
“You’re right. Over time, the symptoms of PTSD can dissipate.” She hated his calm voice. He sat in the chair looking so comfortable and relaxed. She hated him. Sam still had his arm around her shoulder and she jerked away from him to stalk in front of the damn doctor.
“So you’ve fed them a bunch of horseshit. You have somehow convinced them that I’m going to be okay. That I’m going to be good old normal Brianna. Well I know better. I know just how bad it’s going to be. I know that not only will I be a burden, I’m going to be their worst fucking nightmare, and I absolutely refuse to do that to the people I love! I’m out of here, and I’m leaving town tonight.”
She turned away from the doctor and turned to stare at every single person in the room, tears streaming down her face. Not one person in the family looked surprised. She saw resignation on her mom and dad’s faces. Sam looked thoughtful. Olivia just looked at her with so much love it hurt. When she looked at Chance he had the audacity to wink.
“Are you done?” Zac walked over to her and enveloped her into a warm hug. She could have shaken him off, she knew she could have, if Charlie hadn’t then wrapped his arms around both of them. She closed her eyes. She needed this one last time, but finally she tugged, and they let her go.
“You played me, Zac.”
“No, I took you out to play.”
“You knew this was coming, you both did.”
“Yes,” Charlie answered.
“I have to get out of here.”
Brianna left the room with her head held high.
* * * *
Charlie turned on Sam. “I hope you’re happy with yourself,” he snarled. He’d thought he knew these people.
“This is for her to work out. We didn’t really think we would get through to her tonight, we had hoped, but we’re hoping that we crowbarred open some of her armor so that she might start seeing things a little more clearly.” He could see why Sam had been getting on Brianna’s last nerve. He looked over at Eli.
“What about you? We’ve worked on cases before. First, how in the hell did you get roped into this goat rodeo? And second, how could you let her leave?” Charlie heard Chance laugh behind him, but he was too focused on Eli to spare him a glance.
“Sam’s told me about Brianna for the past few years. I meant what I said, I was here only as a facilitator on behalf of the family. I’ve seen these things go sideways.”
“Yeah, like tonight.”
“Actually, from everything Sam had told me about Brianna, this went better than I expected. She stayed longer than I had anticipated.”
“She was out of here in twenty minutes.”
“She let everyone speak, and she didn’t shut anyone out. No one talked over her, she was allowed to speak, and I believe she felt like she was heard. Tonight went really well.”
“Will she stay?” Zac asked.
“Not a chance in hell,” Chance answered.
“You can’t know that, Chance. We might have gotten through to her.” Olivia was now sitting in between Butch and Betty in tears.
Charlie watched as Josie, Ian, and Joshua came into the living room. They had been staying in the back office. It had been decided that only Zac’s, Charlie’s, and Brianna’s immediate family would be present. Joshua knelt in front of Olivia just duplicating the pose that Olivia had been in, in front of Brianna.
“Olivia Ann, you did everything you could,” Joshua soothed, as he clasped her hands.
“I just want her to be happy. I don’t care if she’s sick. I love her so much. I’ve missed her, and I want to take care of her. I want her to be as happy as I am.” Charlie had been so angry at Olivia for the pain she had caused Brianna earlier, but seeing her now, he just couldn’t continue to be mad. It was obvious that everything she had done and said was out of caring. However, he worried that she might have caused a rift between her and her sister that could never be repaired.
“Livvy, let’s get you home.” Ian and Joshua bundled Olivia up, and said their good-byes, and then left.
“Zac and I are out of here, too.” Charlie picked up their two jackets and handed Zac his.
“Hold up, are you planning on barging in on Brianna?” Chance asked.
“What business is it of yours? Or are you planning on taking this circus on the road?” Zac grabbed his shoulder and gave him a hard squeeze. Charlie took a deep breath and turned to face Chance and Sam. They just stood there staring at one another, nobody saying anything until finally Betty chuckled.
“Boys, you really need to take it down a notch,” she admonished.
“Yes, ma’am, we really do,” Zac agreed.
“What about you, Eli?” Charlie asked turning to face the man still sitting quietly in his chair. “I’ve never seen you give up so easily before.”
“Make up your mind. Are you mad that we had the intervention, or mad that it didn’t work?”
“Both! I’m mad about this whole fucking thing. But answer the question, I’ve seen you hammer away at someone before, and you went easy on her. You could have really made her see things your way. Normally you wouldn’t give up as easily as you did. What gives?”
“Charlie, when we’ve worked together in the past, it’s been in county cases. Normally I’m trying to talk a judge into extricating someone from an abusive environment. Damn right I don’t give up. Here I was just trying to help a woman’s family explain to her that her thinking might be skewed. She’s entitled to her own opinion. Hell, given her upbringing I’d say her caution is totally understandable.”
“The fuck it is! She’s cutting herself off from everything and everybody. She’s basically putting herself into prison!”
“No, Charlie, she’s not. From everything I’ve been told she’s been living a half life for the last eight years. Since she has come here, she has come out of her shell. We gave her something to really think about.”
“What’s more, I have never seen Brianna happier than she has been with the two of you,” Betty said as she looked up at him from her seat on the couch. Charlie felt a knot begin to form in his throat.
“Charlie, I know this was hard to watch. I know you think we betrayed her, but every single one of us has had balls-out conversations with her that have gone nowhere. She just hasn’t heard us. This is the first time she heard us. This was a last ditch effort, and as hard as it was, it w
as worth it.” Charlie looked at Sam, surprised to see a sheen of tears on his eyes, before his tiny wife, and then Chance, engulfed him in a hug.
“Come on, big guy. We’ve got to go.” Charlie looked away from the trio, and focused on Zac.
“What?”
“We’ve got to go.” Betty stood up and grabbed his hand and then Zac’s as well.
“Brianna’s stubborn. She’s likely still going to leave. But she’s smart, and she loves you. I hope you can give my baby the time she needs.”
“Begging your pardon, but she’s not going anywhere.” Charlie did everything he could to keep from growling. Betty gave his hand a squeeze, and tugged him down so she could kiss his cheek.
Chapter 26
He and Charlie left the house together and followed one another to Brianna’s apartment. Zac once again found himself sitting in the little parking lot of the bakery staring at Charlie as he contemplated how best to approach the woman he loved as she was making her getaway. Hopefully this would be the last damn time he would have to go through this.
“What are we waiting for?”
“A plan.”
“The plan is to go in there and make her stop packing.” God, he looked and acted just like the big bulls that Emily worked on.
Telling Brianna she wasn’t leaving was waving a red flag at her. Telling Charlie that Brianna was leaving was waving a red flag at him. Zac would prefer to be stuck between two rabid mountain lions…in heat.
“Charlie, what do you think that Olivia and Sam accomplished tonight?”
“They managed to chase her the fuck out of town,” he said in a disgusted tone. He pushed away from his Mustang and started toward the stairs to her apartment.
“So what’s your plan to change her mind?” Zac asked as he fell into step behind Charlie. The sheriff slowed. At the bottom of the steps he stopped and hit the handrail so hard Zac thought either the wood or Charlie’s hand would break.
Cherishing Brianna [Fate Harbor 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 24