He went into work at lunchtime on Monday. The new rosters had been drawn up so he and Holly would be working overlapping shifts until another registrar was hired. It should mean them not spending as much time together but, as it happened, she was the first person he saw when he entered the building. His heart bopped up and down a couple of dozen times when he spotted her walking towards him.
‘Hi! How’s it been this morning? Busy?’ he asked in a deliberately upbeat tone which, hopefully, would disguise all the other emotions he was feeling. An absence of two days wasn’t long enough to have missed her, he told himself sternly. However, as his eyes greedily drank in the sight of her, it felt as though a lifetime had passed since he’d seen her last.
‘So-so. Did you have a good time with your parents? Lara told me that you’d gone to visit them.’
Her tone was decidedly cool and Ben hid his grimace because he could tell she was put out because he hadn’t mentioned his trip. ‘It was fine. It’s always nice to be fussed over,’ he replied, deeming it wiser not to admit that it had been a spur-of-the-moment decision in case it gave rise to any awkward questions. He sighed inwardly, hating the fact that it felt as though he was tiptoeing over eggshells whenever they spoke.
‘It is. Anyway, now that you’re back, Ben, I was hoping we—’
‘Oops, sorry. I’ll have to go,’ he cut in hastily. He stared past her, hoping that his acting abilities had improved during the past couple of days. ‘I’m sure I saw Sean waving to me just now.’
‘Really? You must have the most amazing eyesight, then, because Sean was in Resus the last time I saw him.’ She peered across the crowded waiting area then turned to him and smiled sweetly. ‘Anyway, I won’t keep you. What I have to say can wait until you aren’t so busy.’
She walked away, leaving Ben feeling like a complete idiot. Holly knew he’d been lying and all it had done was to make her even more suspicious. He made his way to the staffroom, wondering what he was going to do. He couldn’t keep making excuses to avoid her but how could he be sure that he wouldn’t cave in and tell her the truth? Part of him—a rather large part, too—wanted to tell her the whole story from start to finish, but the other bit knew how risky it would be. He couldn’t afford to let Holly become so overwhelmed by pity that she suggested they try again because he mightn’t have the strength to refuse.
The first hour was unusually slow so Ben filled in the time by catching up with some paperwork rather than spending it brooding. He’d just finished filling in the previous week’s statistics sheet when Sean came into the office with the new paramedic.
‘Ben, I’d like you to meet Gabriel McAndrew. He’s been working with the Shropshire ambulance service for the past year but he’s decided to make the move north and has joined our team as of today.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ Ben said, standing up to shake hands with the newcomer. He frowned as he looked at the other man. ‘Have we met somewhere before? Your face looks really familiar.’
‘We may have done.’ Gabriel shrugged. ‘I worked in London for a while so we could have run into each other there. Sean told me that you’d come here from St Gertrude’s.’
‘That’s right,’ Ben agreed, pleased to have solved the mystery. ‘I expect I saw you when I was working in the A and E department there. It was so busy that you never got the chance to find out people’s names.’
‘I see you’ve been sorting out last week’s stats.’
Sean claimed his attention at that moment and Ben turned to him. ‘I thought I’d get them done while it was slack for once. You don’t mind, I hope?’
‘Definitely not! It’s saved me a job.’ Sean picked up the sheet and glanced at the figures. ‘The rapid response team attended fifteen call-outs? That’s not bad for our first week in operation, is it?’
‘It isn’t. And when you look at our success rate in saving lives then I think it proves the new service is having a positive effect,’ Ben said, pointing to the last column.
‘It certainly does.’ Sean beamed as he handed back the sheet of paper. ‘This calls for a celebration. Spread the word that everyone is invited to a barbecue at my house on Saturday night, will you, Ben? We deserve a bit of fun after all the hard work we’ve put in!’
‘Will do.’
Ben sighed as he sat back down at the desk after the two men had left because he really didn’t want to go to the barbecue. It wasn’t that he was against socialising with the people he worked with but it would mean him socialising with Holly. He was ninety-nine per cent certain that he could behave sensibly if he kept her at a distance but he couldn’t put such a high figure on it if they spent time together. It looked as though another excuse might be needed for Saturday night.
The week flew past so that Saturday arrived almost before Holly had time to draw breath. Everyone was in high spirits at the thought of the coming party when she went into work that morning. There was much talk in the staffroom about what they were all wearing and who they were going with.
Holly managed to be vague when Mandy asked if she was going with Josh by muttering something about not having seen him all week. It was true but only because she’d deliberately avoided him. Even though they’d made tentative arrangements to go out again, it hadn’t seemed fair to encourage him when everything was still so uncertain between her and Ben. Of course, once she resolved that issue then maybe she would be in a better position to know what she was going to do but so far she’d not had a chance to sort things out.
If she’d been avoiding Josh, then Ben had definitely been avoiding her. She’d not said more than a dozen words to him since she’d met him in the foyer on Monday and those had all been work-related. Whenever she came into the department, he always seemed to be on his way out, and when they’d been asked to respond to a couple of serious incidents, Ben had managed to team up with one of the others. However, as Holly draped her stethoscope around her neck, she promised herself that she wouldn’t let him escape that night.
The day was the usual blend of high drama and the mundane. The struggle to save a toddler who’d fallen into a garden pond was played out at the same time as a man was being treated for a splinter in his hand. Holly dealt with the child, using the motorbike because there was a football match on in town and everywhere was gridlocked with traffic. Fortunately, the toddler’s grandfather had managed to resuscitate him by the time she got to the house but Holly’s main fear was that the water the child had ingested might have washed all the pulmonary surfactant from his lungs. Pulmonary surfactant was as vital to the lungs as oil was to an engine—it prevented the lungs collapsing after a person breathed out. That led to hypoxia—an insufficient supply of oxygen reaching the tissues—and could prove fatal.
She quickly inserted an endotracheal airway, thanking her lucky stars that the muscles in the child’s throat had relaxed enough for her to slide the tube into place. Oxygen came next and she carefully adjusted the flow so she didn’t damage the little boy’s lungs by using too high a pressure.
‘He will be all right? I mean, he’s breathing again so he’s going to be fine, isn’t he?’
‘Let’s hope so.’ Holly looked up from stripping off the child’s wet clothing when the grandfather spoke. The poor man was obviously dreadfully shocked by what had happened. ‘I’ll call an ambulance to take him to the hospital in a moment.’
‘Oh, is that really necessary? My son will go mad when he hears what’s happened. He warned me to cover up the pond when he brought Jack round this morning.’ The old man suddenly sank onto the couch. ‘My son is divorced, you see, so I don’t get to see Jack all that often.’
Holly frowned in concern as she covered little Jack with a blanket because his grandfather looked really awful now. ‘Are you all right? You don’t look so good.’
‘I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, Doctor. You just concentrate on the youngster.’
He lay back against the cushions and closed his eyes. Holly grimaced when she heard how laboured his bre
athing sounded because it looked as though she might have another patient on her hands. She checked the little boy again and felt her heart lurch when she realised that his pulse rate was dropping. One of the side effects of a near drowning was that some of the water that was swallowed was absorbed into the body and caused a volume overload. That could lead to circulatory problems and little Jack was starting to exhibit all the signs.
She hunted her radio out of her pocket and called base, keeping a close eye on the child as she explained that she urgently needed back-up. She’d just finished when the little boy arrested. At the same moment his grandfather gasped and slumped sideways on the couch.
‘Great!’ Holly muttered, grabbing the defibrillator. ‘Just what I needed. Two for the price of one!’
She quickly adjusted the dials then tossed back the blanket and applied the paddles to Jack’s chest. Fortunately, the defib worked its magic so she covered the little boy up again and made sure his airway was clear and that he was still getting oxygen before she went to check on his grandfather. The old man was unconscious but he was still breathing and his heart was beating, thankfully enough.
‘Hello! Anyone home?’
She looked round in relief when she heard Ben’s voice calling through the letterbox. ‘We’re in the back…use the side gate, will you? I can’t come to the door right now,’ she shouted, hoping he would hear her.
He appeared a few seconds later, taking in the scene at a glance as he came into the room through the French windows. ‘I’ll look after the man if you want to concentrate on the child, Holly. Get onto base and explain that we have two patients, will you, Gabriel?’ he directed, turning to the paramedic who had followed him in. ‘They’ll need to alert the rest of the team so they know what to expect.’
Holly gladly relinquished her place by the couch and went to kneel beside the child again. His pulse was still far too slow for her liking. He was obviously in shock and she came to a swift decision.
‘He needs to be in hospital and I don’t think it’s safe to wait while you sort out his grandfather.’
‘Then you and Gabriel take him back in the ambulance. I’ll stay here and wait for another ambulance to arrive.’ Ben checked the old man’s pulse. ‘He’s holding his own and it’s far more urgent that you get the child sorted out.’
‘That would be great,’ Holly agreed gratefully. Gabriel came back so she quickly explained what was happening, relieved when the paramedic didn’t question the decision but merely picked up the oxygen bottle while she carried the child. They headed for the door where Holly paused for a moment. ‘What about the motorbike and all my equipment?’
‘I’ll pack it up when the paramedics get here and ride the bike back.’
‘Thanks. I owe you one for this, Ben. You’re a lifesaver—in more ways than one!’
‘All part of the service,’ he said lightly, but she saw the warmth that had lit his face before he turned away and felt an answering glow start to burn inside her.
As she carried the little boy to the ambulance, Holly found herself thinking how easy it had been to restore harmony. All it had taken had been a few pleasant words and they’d been back to where they’d been two years ago—sharing a moment of closeness, their thoughts in sync, their problems forgotten…
She sighed as she laid little Jack on the trolley. If only it were that simple!
Malcolm Meadows had suffered a TIA—a transient ischaemic attack, more commonly known as a mini-stroke—undoubtedly brought on by the shock of seeing his grandson nearly drown. By the time the second ambulance arrived, Ben was fairly confident about his diagnosis, although it would need a CT scan to confirm it.
‘You’re going to be fine so try not to worry.’ He squeezed the old man’s shoulder, knowing how scary it must be for him to suddenly find himself so helpless. The brief interruption to the blood supply to Malcolm’s brain had left him unable to speak or use his right arm and leg. However, Ben was hoping he would make a full recovery—like most people did—in a few days’ time.
He went back inside the house after the ambulance drove away. Holly had left the defibrillator on the sitting-room floor so he packed it away then zipped up the Thomas pack and carried it outside. She’d left her helmet outside the French doors so Ben picked it up because he would need to wear it for the journey back to the hospital.
He put it on and was adjusting the chin strap when he became aware of a familiar fragrance. He breathed deeply and felt his heart lurch when he realised it was the scent of the shampoo Holly used. The fragrance must have permeated the lining of the helmet and it was like being enveloped in a great sea of memories as he drank it in. Being with Holly had been the high point of his life. Every day had been more wonderful, more special, because she’d shared it with him. They’d been too busy with work and too broke to do more than have the odd night out but it hadn’t mattered. They hadn’t needed expensive meals or exotic holidays because they’d had each other.
Had he been a fool to give her up? Should he have told her the truth about his illness and left it up to her to decide what she’d wanted to do?
He’d never asked himself those questions before and it was a salutary experience to find himself beset by doubts all of a sudden. He’d done what he’d thought right at the time but had it been his decision to make? Shouldn’t he at least have given her the option to choose if she wanted to stay with him?
Ben swung his leg over the motorbike and kicked the engine to life, his heart beating in time to the rhythm of the powerful engine as another question slammed into his head: was he just looking for an excuse to tell her the truth because he couldn’t bear the thought of living the rest of his life without her?
Sean had told everyone that it was open house and that they should turn up whenever they liked for the barbecue that evening. With staff working twenty-four/seven it was always difficult to arrange an event like this so timing had to be flexible. Holly was glad that she didn’t need to be there at a set time because it was really late when she got home.
Little Jack Meadows had been transferred to Paediatric ICU and was currently on a ventilator. He would need treatment to correct an electrolyte imbalance caused by excess water being absorbed into his vascular system. He was a very sick little boy but Holly was hopeful that he would pull through.
His grandfather had been admitted to the coronary care unit. Apparently, he suffered from angina and that, combined with the TIA, meant he would need to be closely monitored for the next twenty-four hours. Holly had had the dubious of honour of explaining what had happened to Steven Meadows, Malcolm’s son and Jack’s father, when he’d arrived at the hospital. It had been a lot for the poor man to take in and that was what had delayed her.
She took a hasty shower then dressed in cream linen trousers and a honey-coloured silk top. The outfit was casual but elegant and seemed to fit the occasion, plus she really didn’t have the time to agonise over what she was going to wear. A touch of lip gloss, several coats of mascara and she was ready. As she picked up her bag, Holly refused to acknowledge that the sudden fluttering in her stomach had anything to do with nerves. She was going to make Ben tell her the truth that night and there was no reason why she should feel nervous about it. After all, he couldn’t tell her anything that would make her feel worse than she’d done when he’d ended their relationship.
The party was in full swing by the time she arrived and there was quite a crowd gathered in the garden. Everywhere looked very festive with rows of coloured fairy lights strung up between the trees and old-fashioned Japanese lanterns hanging from hooks to light the patio. Sean was hard at work behind the barbecue and he waved to her.
‘Glad you made it. Grab yourself a drink then come and give your order to the chef!’
‘Will do!’ Holly grinned as she followed a handwritten sign informing her that drinks were being served in the kitchen. From the look of the rather wobbly letters, one of the children must have made it. Sean’s wife, Claire, was dispensi
ng drinks from the kitchen table and she smiled in delight when she saw Holly.
‘Oh, how lovely to see you!’
‘You, too.’ Holly gave her a hug then smiled at the little boy standing beside her. ‘Hi, Ben. Am I right to think that brilliant sign out there was all your doing?’
‘Did you see it?’ the boy asked eagerly. ‘I told Dad that we needed a sign and he asked me to make it for him.’
‘It was a great idea,’ Holly said seriously. ‘I wouldn’t have known where to go if I hadn’t seen it.’
The child beamed with pleasure as he raced off to join his friends. Claire chuckled as she took a clean wineglass out of the box on the table. ‘You just made his day. There’s nothing Ben loves more than being in the thick of things. He obviously takes after his father!’
‘He does, and in more ways than one. He’s the absolute image of Sean, apart from his hair colour, of course—he’s more like you in that respect.’
‘I know. It’s amazing, isn’t it? His sister, Amy, has Sean’s black hair and my colour eyes—just as if everything has been reversed.’ Claire sounded dreamy. ‘I wonder what the next one will look like.’
‘Does that mean what I think it does?’ Holly exclaimed, then laughed in delight when Claire nodded. ‘Congratulations! So when is the new baby due?’
‘Eight months from now.’ Claire blushed. ‘I only found out this morning and we were planning on keeping it a secret but I’m going to burst if I don’t tell someone soon!’
‘I think it’s wonderful and I’m really happy for you,’ Holly said sincerely then glanced round when someone came into the kitchen.
Her blood suddenly began to fizz when she saw it was Ben—the adult Ben and not the child this time. She bit her lip as a dozen different emotions hit her all at once, ranging from appreciation because he looked so handsome in those black chinos and matching polo shirt right the way up to pure terror because of what she was planning on doing. All of a sudden she was no longer sure if she was doing the right thing. Did she really want to risk getting hurt all over again just to learn the answers to a few questions?
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