She was starting to see a clearer picture now. She’d been making assumptions. But it was clear to her now that, in Callan’s head, Angus had been his father figure. The person he’d relied on, the person he’d looked up to. How would she feel if she were in his shoes?
His arms were still around her waist. Her hand was still on his cheek. She almost felt frozen in time. She could stay like this for ever.
For the first time, in a long time, she felt as if she was home. Home in Callan McGregor’s arms. The realisation was startling. It didn’t matter how she felt about Angus McLean. She had to respect the fact that, for Callan, he’d been family.
‘What happened to your own mum and dad, Callan?’
It was an intrusive question and she felt him bristle under her touch. But it was just the two of them, with no interruptions. If she wanted to understand Callan McGregor better, she had to ask.
His eyes fixed on hers and she could almost see his mind jumble around trying to decide what to say. ‘My mother was never really around. I’m not entirely sure what happened in their marriage. It was only me and my dad since I was a young boy. My dad would never talk about her.’
‘Do you remember anything about her?’
‘I remember the police coming to the door of our house when I was fifteen to tell my dad she was dead. I was more or less staying with Angus all the time by then, but I went home on occasion.’
‘What happened to her?’
He shook his head. ‘I didn’t actually find out until years later. She had a mental health condition—schizophrenia. She’d taken an accidental overdose.’
‘That’s awful. Do you think she left because of her mental health problem?’
‘No. I think she left because of my dad.’
His answer was instant. The next question was poised on her lips, but something told her not to ask it. Not to pry. Callan took several deep breaths. Even sharing that little part of himself had been hard for him.
He pulled back and she was surprised by how hurt she felt as he walked across the room, picking up the plates and cups and putting them on the tray.
She didn’t want him to leave. She wanted him to stay here, with her. And that made her insides curl up in confusion.
‘I’ll take these back to the kitchen. Are you baking today?’
The conversation was clearly over. At least that part of it was.
She took a deep breath and smiled. ‘I think Marion has me lined up to make a raspberry cheesecake and some more gingerbread.’
‘You could leave the staff to it, you know.’
‘No. I couldn’t. I like being in the kitchen. Next to this room—’ she held out her arms ‘—it’s the place I feel most at home.’
She hadn’t meant to say it like that. She hadn’t meant to imply that she was thinking of this place as home. Because she wasn’t. Really she wasn’t. Her mind was getting jumbled with the huge range of emotions Annick Castle was conjuring up for her. And something flickered across his face. A look of discomfort, that was quickly replaced by a quick nod of the head.
‘I’m going to go for another walk later—back around the grounds. Or, do you want me to help you with Angus’s boxes?’ It was a measured question. It was her trying to offer a hand of friendship.
Was she really comfortable making that offer? Who was she to go through Angus’s things? Grandfather or not, she hadn’t known him and never would. Not the way Callan had.
But she’d seen the look in Callan’s eyes earlier. She’d seen how hurt he was, how he was struggling with his bereavement. And while she didn’t have any loyalty to Angus, she did have a burning desire to support Callan.
She’d been there. She knew how hard this was. Her mother had fallen to pieces and if it hadn’t been for her university friends, she would have too. Having people around to support you made all the difference.
Callan shook his head. ‘I’ll be fine. I probably won’t get much done today. I have to make some calls and answer some emails for the day job.’
She smiled. ‘You mean you need to Blether?’
He laughed. ‘Absolutely. I need to Blether.’
She took a deep breath. This was difficult. She was struggling with this. She didn’t really know who Callan McGregor was. But he’d shared a little of himself with her today. He’d held her at the bottom of the cliff steps. He’d kissed her last night. He’d hugged her today. This was the closest she’d got to a man in months. And he set every nerve in her body on fire. There was something between them. For her, there were blurred lines all over the place. She just wasn’t sure what this was.
‘Well, you know where I’ll be if you’re looking for me.’ Her eyes fixed on his.
And he held her gaze. For longer than ever before. She could practically hear the air in the room sizzle between them. Was something else going to happen?
He tore his gaze away and fixed a smile on his face. ‘Yes, I do. Thanks, Laurie.’ Then he picked up the tray and disappeared down the corridor.
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
* * *
At first glance the kitchen seemed empty and Laurie walked across the room and started washing her hands at one of the Belfast sinks. It only took her a few minutes to collect all the ingredients from the larder, including the fresh raspberries that had been picked from the castle gardens this morning. She breathed in deeply; they smelled gorgeous.
She lifted the large glass mixing bowl and whisk out from the cupboard at her feet and started adding her ingredients for the cheesecake. Marion appeared at her elbow. ‘Hi, Laurie, are you sure you’re still happy to help?’
She jumped about a foot in the air. ‘Where on earth did you come from, Marion? I was sure there was no one else in here.’
Marion laughed and tapped the side of her nose. ‘I’m like the genie in the lamp. I know all the hiding places around this kitchen.’
Laurie stared at her for a few seconds, trying to work out if she was joking or not.
Marion smiled. ‘I was in the pantry. You were so deep in concentration that you didn’t notice me when I came out. What are you fretting about? Is it about the castle?’
Laurie set down the wooden spoon she held in her hand. ‘No. It’s not about the castle. Not at all.’ She looked around her. ‘But that’s probably what I should be worrying about, isn’t it?’
‘Aha.’
‘Aha? What does that mean?’ Marion was giving her a strange kind of smile as she started to collect her own set of ingredients.
‘It means I always know what’s going on in this place.’
‘Well, I don’t. Why don’t you share it with me?’
Marion was practically chuckling. ‘I bet it was Callan that was on your mind.’
Her cheeks flushed instantly. The woman was a mind reader. ‘Why do you think that?’ Had people noticed they’d been spending time together?
‘Because I’ve been here a long time. I notice things. I particularly notice things when it comes to Callan.’ Her voice had a little protective edge to it. ‘I heard about the kiss,’ she added.
‘How long have you been here, Marion?’ Curiosity was piquing her interest, particularly now Callan had revealed a little part of himself to her.
‘More than forty years.’ She said the figure with pride.
‘And you haven’t thought about retiring?’ She knew instantly it had been the wrong thing to say as Marion bristled.
‘I have no intention of retiring,’ she said stiffly. ‘As long as I can still do my job I’ll be here.’
‘Of course. I didn’t mean anything by it, Marion. Forty years is a long time.’ She started mixing the ingredients in her bowl. ‘You must have been here when Callan first appeared,’ she added carefully.
Marion’s keen eyes locked with
hers. ‘What did he tell you?’
‘He told me Angus found him as a young boy. He told me about his mother. And about the fact Angus named him as next of kin.’
Marion raised her eyebrows. ‘He told you quite a lot, didn’t he?’ Her eyes swept up and down the length of Laurie. ‘He doesn’t usually share much about himself.’ She stopped, then added, ‘But then he doesn’t usually kiss girls in front of a room full of strangers.’
Laurie gave a little smile. ‘I get that.’
She mixed slowly. Had she been misleading about how much Callan had told her? She was itching to know more, but she didn’t want to come right out and ask.
After a few guarded seconds Marion started to speak, her eyes fixed on the wall. She’d obviously drifted off into some past memory. ‘I’ll never forget that night for as long as I live. When Angus came in here with Callan bundled up in his arms, freezing and soaking wet after hiding from his brute of a father.’ She shook her head. ‘We made a pact.’
Laurie felt her heart start to race. Did she really want to know this? Should she be upfront and tell her Callan hadn’t told her this part? But the truth was she did want to know this. She wanted to understand why Callan was so fiercely loyal to Angus. She wanted to try and understand the connection between the two men.
‘All of us. Me, Angus and Bert. We were the only three here that late at night. But we promised there would always be a place here for Callan. There would always be somewhere safe he could come where people would be concerned about him.’ Her voice drifted off a little, and Laurie could see the tears forming in her eyes. ‘Where people could show him that they cared what happened to him.’
She looked out of the window. ‘Social services weren’t the same as they are nowadays. Children were left in conditions they shouldn’t be. Everyone knew that.’ She turned to face Laurie. ‘Do you know after his drunken rage his father didn’t even know that Callan had gone? It was two days before he turned up here looking for him.’ Laurie could hear the disgust in her voice. ‘We all knew that his mother was gone. But no one really knew why. We didn’t know about the schizophrenia then.’ She waved her hand. ‘That all came much later.’ She shook her head. ‘We guess that his father got worse after his mother left. But we don’t know that for sure. Maybe his father’s drinking contributed towards his mother’s mental health condition? All I know is, that must have been a terrible environment for a wee boy to be in.’
Laurie was shocked. No wonder Callan only shared little pieces of himself. What had he been subjected to at home?
Marion hadn’t said the words but the implication about his father being a drunk was clear. She couldn’t help the automatic shiver that ran down her spine. No child should be subjected to a life like that.
Her eyes fixed on the contents of the bowl as she stirred. She could feel the tears prickling in her eyes. Her natural thoughts were to compare Callan’s upbringing with her own.
She’d had a mum and dad who had loved her dearly and doted on her. Callan’s life had been nothing like that. And no matter what her thoughts about Angus McLean, thank goodness he’d recognised a child in need and had reached out to him.
She felt a hand resting on her back. Marion’s. ‘I know,’ came the quiet words of understanding. Marion could obviously see the whole host of emotions flitting across her face.
She waited a few minutes, lost in her thoughts. ‘Marion, if you’ve been here that long, tell me about my grandfather. Tell me why he didn’t acknowledge his children.’
She couldn’t stop this. It played on her mind constantly. She already knew Callan’s thoughts on all of this. Maybe Marion could offer better insight?
Marion shrugged her shoulders. ‘I’m not sure, Laurie. It seems odd. But Angus McLean’s life wasn’t entirely easy. He was much more involved in the pharmaceutical business than his colleagues thought. He would spend hours in the laboratories. He was involved in all the developmental work. Lots of people just thought Angus dealt only with contracts and sales—but that wasn’t true at all.’
There was something strange about her words. Something Laurie couldn’t quite put her finger on.
‘But lots of people have difficult jobs, Marion. That doesn’t stop them keeping in contact with their kids.’
Marion’s lips pressed firmly together. ‘Things aren’t always what they seem, Laurie. And remember, times have changed rapidly over the last few years. Angus did what he thought was right for his children.’
Money. Marion was talking about money. So, she wasn’t wrong about this vibe. There was definitely something that Marion wasn’t telling her.
‘All the money in the world doesn’t make up for not having your dad when you need him, Marion. I can’t imagine not having my dad there. I’m a grown adult now, and I still struggle with the fact I can’t pick up the phone and speak to him every day.’
‘I understand that, Laurie, really I do. But everyone’s life circumstances are different. That’s all I’m saying.’ She picked up the mixture she’d been preparing and started dividing it into tins. It was clear that from her perspective the conversation was over.
Laurie followed suit. It only took a few minutes to finish whisking the cheesecake and put it in the fridge to set. The gingerbreads were ready for the oven and now all she had to do was wait.
‘Have you finished up?’
She nodded. ‘Is there something else you need a hand with?’
Marion shook her head. ‘We’re all ready for the ball tonight. The turkey and the beef joints are in the oven. The veg are all prepared. And I’ve got a few girls coming in from the village to help serve again.’
‘What else is happening tonight?’
Marion rolled her eyes. ‘I have no idea. I do know that there’s a string quartet coming. They are expected to arrive in the next few hours. As for the rest of Robin’s plans? Your guess is as good as mine.’ She brushed her hands together and glanced over at the ovens. ‘If you’re finished up I’ll be happy to take everything out of the oven for you.’
Laurie smiled. ‘Has Callan been nagging you about me being in the kitchen?’
Marion laughed. ‘Don’t you worry about Callan nagging me. I’ve been dealing with that for years.’
Laurie took off her apron and hung it back up. ‘I’d quite like to go for a walk around the grounds before tonight—you know, to clear my head.’
Marion nodded and looked at her carefully. ‘We all need to do that sometimes. Even Callan.’
Her feet had already carried her to the door but she turned as Marion spoke again. ‘Laurie—just so you know. That’s the first time I’ve ever known Callan to be so...’ she was obviously searching for the right word ‘...affectionate in public.’
Laurie’s heart gave a little leap. She gave Marion a little smile and fled out of the door. Annick Castle was going to land her in a whole heap of trouble.
CHAPTER EIGHT
CALLAN CHECKED THE records one more time. Annick Castle was in trouble. Lots of trouble. It was losing money like a leaky sieve. In a few weeks’ time he and Frank would have to hand over all this information to the new owner. What would they think? Because right now, all paths seemed to lead to the fact that Angus McLean hadn’t been managing at all.
He could see what the problems were. The biggest, and most obvious, was that Annick Castle had no income. The gas and electricity bills had quadrupled in the last ten years, but, then again, so had every family’s in the country.
Annick Castle wasn’t environmentally friendly. It was a draughty old girl, in rapid need of some maintenance. But even then his hands were tied. There were no modern windows to keep the freezing winter temperatures out, no proper insulation, no modern heating or modern appliances. The whole place really needed to be rewired. But rewiring was more than a little expensive, and the damage that would be incurred rewiring
a building like this would be astronomical. The heritage people would have a fit. As for the roof...
He hadn’t even had a chance to glance at Angus’s boxes yet. All his time had been taken up with trying to sort out the accounts. It wasn’t just the castle. The family fortune had been damaged by the stock-market crash, some unlucky investments and poor interest rates. He was going to have to try and find some solutions—fast.
He closed the computer program and grabbed his jacket. The walls were starting to close in around him. He needed some fresh air and that was one thing Annick Castle had in abundance. It was time to find Laurie. She was the only person around here he wanted to spend any time with.
Part of him felt a little guilty that he didn’t want to spend more time around Angus’s children or grandchildren. Truth was, some of them he didn’t even like.
And a tiny part of him said why should he spend time with people that Angus hadn’t? And until he got to the bottom of that he wouldn’t be able to understand it.
But Laurie was different. She wasn’t constantly assessing the value of the castle. She wasn’t aligning herself with estate agents as he’d heard one of Angus’s sons doing yesterday.
Laurie was the only one of Angus’s relatives he felt a connection to. He couldn’t understand it. He couldn’t understand it at all, but after several hours surrounded by computers, paperwork and figures he found himself craving her company again.
It would be so much easier if he could put Laurie Jenkins in a box where she wasn’t a possible inheritor of the castle, and she wasn’t Angus McLean’s granddaughter. Then maybe he would be free to try and figure out what it was about her that drew him like a moth to a flame.
The scent of gingerbread had drawn him to the kitchen. But the evidence of her baking was sitting on two wire cooling trays with no sign of Laurie at all.
He walked out into the grounds. His first guess had been the gazebo next to the swan pond. He’d noticed the gleam in her eyes when she’d first seen it and the whole host of other thoughts that was obviously flitting around her mind. But even from the top of the steps leading to the lowered gardens it was clear she was nowhere in sight.
The Heir of the Castle (Harlequin Romance) Page 10