But this was entirely different. This changed everything. The pain and confusion was etched in his eyes. Both of them knew this wasn’t her fault. This was something that neither of them had control over. Or did they?
Could she have done something to prevent this happening? Could she have done something to allow them to cling onto the hope of developing a relationship together?
She was so confused right now.
Panic started to grip her. She’d written that name on the card without a second thought. Her reactions had been automatic. She should have guessed wrongly. But it hadn’t even occurred to her at the time.
Pain started to spread across her chest. She was starting to feel woozy. The room was closing in around her. She couldn’t bear the look on Callan’s face. The look that said everything had just changed. His pain was too much for her to bear. And the ramifications made her feel as if everything was out of her control.
Her feet started to move. She started to push her way through the bodies. She had to get outside. She had to get some air.
Marion reached out to her on the way past but she didn’t even slow her steps. She couldn’t.
She pulled the main door open. The wind and rain howled around her but she didn’t even care. She just walked. And kept on walking.
Her shirt was soaked in seconds, her hair whipping around her face. But all she could think about was the air. It was what she needed.
Her legs carried her around to the front of the castle—the most exposed edge facing the sea. She leaned against the wall and tried to take some deep breaths.
The wind was working against her—almost sucking the air from her lungs as she tried to pull it in. She bent over, arms around her waist and counted to ten. One, two, three...
She lifted her head again. This time she felt the cold coursing through her. This time she looked at the castle she could inherit.
Tears started to pour down her cheeks. This was hers. This could be hers.
It was almost unbelievable. To go from a girl with only one known living relative, to a girl with a huge array of aunts, uncles and cousins, and the inheritor of a castle all in the space of a few weeks.
The castle loomed in front of her. Dominant. Intimidating. A whole world of problems.
But she didn’t feel like that about it. She looked at the sandy-coloured storm-battered building with its intricate-paned glass windows and drum towers.
She loved it.
She loved it with her whole heart.
But she loved something or someone else a whole lot more.
Genetically she might have a right to Annick Castle. But there were some things so much more important than genes.
‘Laurie!’ The shout came from her side.
Callan was running towards her, followed by Frank bundled up in a rainproof mac. Frank’s umbrella caught in the high winds, turning instantly inside out and making him spin around blindly.
Callan reached her, soaked and windswept by the battering rain. He put his hands on either side of her shoulders. ‘Laurie, are you okay? What happened? You ran out before we had a chance to talk.’
She shook her head. Would he notice her tears in amongst the torrent of rain?
Callan was shaking his head in wonder. An amazed smile appeared on his face. ‘How did you know? How did you know it was the butler? We’ve hardly been there this weekend.’ He was shouting now. She could hardly hear him above the roar of the waves below.
She lifted her hands. ‘Who else could it be? There were twelve of us. It couldn’t be any of us, Callan. That would have been unfair. It had to be you, Robin or John. And when the murder took place, you had your arm around me the whole time.’
The recognition dawned on his face. He’d obviously never given the whole weekend much thought. He’d been too wrapped up in the outcome. Too wrapped up in the fate of Annick Castle.
He grabbed her hand. Frank had reached him now and was starting to babble. She couldn’t hear a single word he was saying in the braying winds. ‘Come on,’ shouted Callan. ‘Let’s get inside.’
He pulled her towards a back door. It must have been a servants’ entrance and it took them along a back corridor until they reached somewhere she was much more familiar with. Much more comfortable with—the library.
Callan waited until Frank had joined them and locked the door behind them. Rain was dripping from every part of her. Callan lifted a throw from the back of one of the chairs and stood in front of her, gently rubbing her sodden hair and face.
Callan was so wrapped up in what he wanted to tell her he couldn’t contain himself. ‘I found medical files, Laurie. Files that were part of a drug trial seventy years ago. Angus was a participant. Everyone else died within six months. He must have thought he was going to die too, Laurie. That’s why he didn’t meet his kids—just provided for them financially.’
She hadn’t spoken. She hadn’t responded. And his voice tailed off to be replaced with a concerned expression on his face. There was a second of recognition. Recognition that she was long past the point of caring about Angus McLean.
‘Laurie? Isn’t this what you wanted? You’re the only relative here who has shown any real interest in Annick Castle.’ He hesitated. ‘I’ll need to go over the castle accounts with you, but some of the things you suggested might be part of the way forward for Annick Castle.’
Frank stepped forward. ‘I have to warn you I think there might be some legal challenges from some of the unhappy parties. There’s nothing we can do to prevent that. But no matter what their challenges, Angus’s will is rock solid. He made sure of that. It might just tie us up in court proceedings for some time.’ He rustled some papers. ‘Now, can we make some arrangements for your DNA test? It’s just a simple cheek swab, and I’d expect the results back relatively quickly.’
‘Stop.’ She lifted her hand. ‘Stop it. Both of you.’
Callan froze. He’d been mid-rub of her hair, which was still stubbornly dripping on the floor below. She shivered. The impact of the rain and wind was starting to affect her body’s reactions. Frank’s mouth was still open—poised mid-sentence.
‘I can’t do this.’
‘What?’ Both voices, in perfect unison.
Callan’s brow instantly wrinkled. ‘What do you mean you can’t do this? You are the perfect person to do this, Laurie.’
‘No. No, I’m not.’ She shook her head fiercely. ‘If I’d thought about this more carefully I would have put the wrong name on the card.’ Frank looked horrified, but she continued before he could say anything else. ‘I’m not the right person to look after Annick Castle. It doesn’t matter that I’m a relative of Angus McLean. It doesn’t matter at all.’
She walked over and picked up one of the photographs of Angus in his army uniform. ‘I didn’t know this man. I didn’t know this man at all.’ She pointed to herself. ‘And he didn’t know me. I didn’t matter to him. My father didn’t matter to him. I don’t care what his reasons were.’
Her brain felt as if it were scrambled. She didn’t feel rational. She didn’t feel in control.
‘Laurie, hold on. Let me show you what I found—’
‘No. Don’t, Callan. I don’t want to hear it. The fact is, I’m a lawyer. And I’m not even going to be that for much longer. But it doesn’t matter. What do I know about a place like this? I wouldn’t even know where to begin. It’s already starting to fall apart.’ She held out her hands. ‘This is a piece of history. This is something that should be protected and preserved. This is something that other people should enjoy.’
‘But you can do that, Laurie. You’ve already considered what could happen with Annick Castle. Let me tell you what I found.’
She felt herself start to sway. Her legs were turning to jelly underneath her and she slumped down into one of the nearby chairs.
/>
She took a few seconds, then lifted her head. ‘Frank, if you need to do a DNA test on me, then that’s fine. Do it. But I need you to do something else for me.’
‘What?’ Frank looked bewildered, as if the whole event were taking place in a parallel universe.
She loved Callan. She absolutely loved him. If she kept Annick Castle they would never have a chance. This would always be Callan’s home. And she would always be the person that had taken that away from him. And she loved him too much for that.
She’d seen the flash in his eyes back in the drawing room. She didn’t need him to spell it all out to her.
She wanted to believe that he really hadn’t meant to leave her this morning. But deep down she couldn’t entirely be sure.
And she needed to be sure. She needed to know that Callan McGregor was with her because he wanted to be, not because she was a route to something else that he loved.
She needed him to love her, just as much as she loved him. The only way to find out if that was true was to take Annick Castle out of the equation.
To put right something that was wrong.
She looked over at Callan’s face. She loved him. She loved him with her whole heart. There was only one action she could take right now and it was something she was proud to say that her dad had taught her. Do the right thing.
‘I want to give Annick Castle to Callan. I want the castle to be looked after by the person who deserves it most.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘WHAT?’
Callan couldn’t believe his ears. This day was getting madder by the second.
‘You can’t do that.’
‘Yes, I think you’ll find I can. Can’t I, Frank?’
Frank nodded numbly.
Callan knelt down in front of Laurie. She looked exhausted and she was still soaking wet. They were all soaking wet. ‘Laurie, you’ve had a shock. You’re not thinking clearly.’
Her words were crisp. ‘I’m thinking perfectly clearly, Callan. If Annick Castle is mine, then I can do what I want with it.’
He shook his head. ‘But Angus wanted it to go to family. You’re his family, Laurie, not me.’
She leaned forward, her face inches away from his. ‘And I can see exactly how much that hurts you, Callan. What is a family anyway? Is it the person that created you genetically? Or is it the person that’s loved you, protected you and sheltered you from the world? Isn’t family the people who’ve taken care of you, helped you do your homework, played with you and looked out for you when you were a kid? Shaped you into the adult you’ve become? What does the word family mean to you, Callan?’ She reached out her finger and touched his chest. ‘What does it mean to you in here?’
He couldn’t speak. He felt totally blindsided by her. It was as if she could see inside his head. See every bad thought that had entered his brain. Every time he’d bitten his tongue this weekend to stop him saying something he shouldn’t.
He knew exactly what she meant. He’d heard her talk about her father. She’d loved him unconditionally—much like the way he’d loved Angus. Whenever she was thinking deeply about something she fingered the gold locket around her neck, the one her father had given her. The love she felt for her father had lasted long after her father’s death. And he felt the same; he’d never forget Angus.
‘Angus was my family,’ he whispered. His throat felt dry and scratchy. Saying the words still hurt. Facing up to the fact that Angus hadn’t thought of him as family still hurt. But now he’d discovered so much more.
He reached over and took her hand. ‘Let me show you something—something I just found.’
He didn’t wait for her response; he just pulled her along behind him. Down the corridor and up the carved staircase towards the room that held Angus’s things.
Laurie hadn’t stopped crying yet. Slow tears were still trickling down her cheeks. She reached over and put her hand on his cheek. ‘What is it, Callan? Because I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t deal with you.’ She pressed her hand to her chest.
He dropped down onto the carpet and pulled the photo album from the top of the box. ‘I don’t want you to give me the castle, Laurie. It’s not right. It’s not the way it’s supposed to be.’
She lifted her head up. He could see the determined look across her face. The kind of look that dared anyone to argue with her. ‘I don’t agree with what Angus has done. And I don’t need to. But I can put right what I think is wrong.’
Callan shook his head. Every other relative had looked as if they wanted to sell the castle. Laurie was the only person who hadn’t considered that. Did she have any idea what the castle was really worth?
‘Laurie, I have to tell you. I’d planned to speak to whoever inherited the castle to see if they would accept my offer. I’d always planned to try and buy Annick Castle. I certainly don’t want you to give it to me.’ He placed the album in her hands. ‘But this is what Angus McLean left me. Something so much more important than a castle.’
He was starting to panic. This didn’t feel right. Callan McGregor was always entirely above board. He didn’t want Laurie to give him the castle. No way.
How would that look?
Particularly now—when he wanted her to stay.
This confused everything. He’d wanted to ask her to stay this morning. Before any of this happened. And he should have asked her. He should have asked her then.
He wanted her to understand everything. He wanted her to look through the album and realise he believed she was right. The gift that Angus had given him was security. A place where a little boy could thrive and be loved by a family. The people who stayed here were his family. Blood didn’t matter. Genetics didn’t matter.
But Laurie’s face was blank. Was she listening to him at all? She still hadn’t opened the album. The album that told the story of his life. He had to try something else.
‘I’ll buy it from you. We’ll get an independent survey, an independent evaluation.’ He was starting to babble, but he just couldn’t help it. He felt as if everything was slipping through his fingers. Which was strange, because up until a few days ago his priority had been Annick Castle. A few days ago, this would have been exactly what he wanted.
And part of him still wanted it. Just not without her.
He shook his head. ‘I’ve looked at the accounts. Things aren’t good. Annick Castle is in trouble. The nest egg that Angus used to have just isn’t there any more. You’ve seen for yourself that there are areas that need attention. And with a place like this there are no simple fixes. Even things that seem simple need a master craftsman. Traditional materials, specialist trades, everything has to meet the standards for listed building consent. Things need to change around here.’
Laurie stood up. ‘What are you talking about, Callan? I’ve told you. I want to give you Annick Castle. I don’t want your money. I don’t want you to buy it from me. It doesn’t even feel as if it should really be mine.’ She flung her hands in the air, letting the album fall to the floor. ‘It’s ridiculous. I inherit this place on the basis of the name I wrote on a card?’ She turned to face Frank too. ‘Tell me this isn’t fundamentally wrong—because we all know it is. This place, never mind its monetary value, what about its heritage value, its history? These are the things that are important. These are the things that make Annick Castle special.’ She turned back to Callan. ‘Angus was wrong. Annick Castle should always have been yours. You’re the one with the connection with this place. You’re the one who loves it. It should be yours.’ There was real passion in her voice. As if she knew, as if she understood.
And he could recognise it. Because he understood completely.
He placed his hand on her arm. ‘But that’s just it, Laurie. I’m not the only one with a connection to this place, am I?’
He watched her eyes w
iden. She started to stutter, ‘B-but...’
‘Tell me.’ He stepped forward and placed his hand on her chest. ‘Tell me how Annick Castle makes you feel in here, Laurie.’
She didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer.
‘I could see it, Laurie. I could see it in your eyes, in everything you did this weekend. From the moment you saw this place, from the moment you set foot in this place, Annick Castle started to get under your skin. You asked questions, you took an interest in everything that happens around here. You looked at this place with a fresh set of eyes.’ His voice lowered. ‘You introduced me to ideas that I would never have considered myself.’ He shook his head as he grew more determined—as he started to see in his head exactly what he wanted to happen.
It was like standing at the railway station again, watching the smoke clear around Laurie’s curves. He just knew.
‘I can’t do this without you, Laurie. I don’t want to do this without you. This morning, when I woke up I watched you sleeping. I wanted to ask you then. I should have asked you then.’
‘Asked me what?’
‘To stay. To stay with me.’ The words that had been skirting around the edges of his brain for the last few hours. It was so much easier to say them out loud than he could possibly have imagined.
He sat her down on the chaise longue next to the window and put the album in her lap, flicking past the first few pages of Angus’s photographs and onto the pages that showed him as a young boy.
He could see her sharp intake of breath. ‘Laurie, I don’t care what you do with Annick Castle. If I ever want to move on, I have to let it go. I have to get past this. But I can’t get past you.’
Her eyes widened as he turned the pages, letting her see every year of his life recorded by Angus. Letting her see the love between them, letting her see the warmth and security that he’d been provided with. Letting her see his family.
‘What is this?’ she murmured.
The Heir of the Castle (Harlequin Romance) Page 15