Her words dwindled off. Thinking about Holly’s debt due to medical bills reminded her of the brief time her mother had been in the hospital after the crash. She’d been in intensive care for a day, only to pass away from the severity of her injuries. Her father had died at the scene of the crash, though he had been able to speak briefly to rescuers before he had passed.
She would never forget the sight of her mother, bruised and broken on the bed, and hooked up to all sorts of machines and monitors. The doctors had given her little chance of surviving and it turned out they were right.
Brianna suddenly wondered if things might have turned out differently if she had only turned to God. Why hadn’t she prayed for her mother to live?
She remembered a saying, ‘There are not atheists in foxholes.’ Seeing her mother at death’s door had been the most traumatic event of her life, yet she hadn’t turned to God. It hadn’t even occurred to her, but then, she had grown up around people who scorned those who counted themselves believers. Her father had often said of life, ‘This is it, kid. Your one shot. Enjoy it, because there is no hereafter. We’re all destined to be worm food.”
Remembering the pastor’s sermon earlier today, in which he had said that believers would be in heaven with God someday, and that non-believers would end up in…
She shuddered. Her parents…
She jumped off the bed and dashed out of her bedroom. She saw Holly’s bedroom door was closed. A slice of light slanted beneath the door, so she knew she was awake. Hurrying toward the door, she knocked, but flung it open before Holly could answer.
Holly was just climbing into bed but paused when she saw her sister’s face. Her eyes were wide with fright. “Brianna, are you all right?” she asked worriedly.
“I don’t know,” she said shakily. “Can I… Would it be okay if…?”
“What is it, Brianna?”
“May I sleep in here tonight?”
“Sure,” she answered, watching her with concern. “Climb into bed. I’ll get the light.”
They both climbed between the covers. Holly turned off the lamp on the small bedside table, and then reached for Brianna’s hand. She gave it a squeeze. “Are you all right?” she asked.
“I…”
Holly felt Brianna trembling beside her. Alarmed, she sat up and turned the light back on. “Brianna, what is it? Please talk to me.”
The girl sat up and drew her knees to her chest. She turned toward her sister. “I… Well, I just prayed to God…”
“You did?” Holly cut in. She was delighted to hear that Brianna had apparently gone to God with whatever was troubling her.
“Yes, I prayed,” she said. “I mean, I don’t know if I did it right, but…”
“Honey,” she cut in. “I’m sure you did just fine. But, what’s bothering you?”
“I got to thinking about the pastor’s sermon. You know, he talked about how we should ask God into our heart and that if we believe in Him and ask forgiveness for our sins, we’ll be with Him in heaven when we die.”
She nodded. “Yes. I remember. Did you … ask God into your heart?”
“Well, no… I mean, I started talking to Him, so I guess I did sort of invite him into my life…” She furrowed her brows in confusion.
“Do you want to ask Him into your heart? Would you like me to pray with you?”
“No, I mean, I might—when I understand better. It’s just…”
“Go on,” Holly prompted.
“Well, my parents didn’t believe, and if what the pastor said is true, that means they aren’t with God, but are instead…” Her face suddenly crunched in misery. “Holly, they’re…”
Holly’s heart twisted with pain. She could see the anguish in her sister’s eyes. She hurriedly took a hold of her hands and began praying. “Lord, please be with Brianna and comfort her during this difficult time. Lord, she loved her parents and is worried for their souls. We pray to you that her parents found you before they passed. We pray that they reached out to you during their final moments. We know that you’re good, and loving, and forgiving and that you care deeply for your children. We know that you sought to love Brianna’s parents and that you don’t give up easily. We know that if they called out to you at the end, you were there to gather them close to you…” She ended the prayer and met her sister’s gaze.
“Do you think they might be in heaven, Holly? Do you really think there’s a chance?” Brianna asked.
“Honey, there’s always a chance. Some people find the lord at the end of their lives.”
“Does God give you credit for that?” Brianna asked. “You mean, you can be a nonbeliever your whole life and then accept God at the end of your life and still make it to Heaven?”
“Honey, I don’t have all the answers, but I know God wants us to come to Him, regardless of when and where and how. He gives all of us the opportunity to accept the gift of salvation through Him.”
Brianna lay back against the pillow and contemplated her words. “I hope my parents became believers,” she said with a sigh. “I really do.”
“I do too. Let’s try to sleep. If you need me during the night, wake me up. Okay?”
“Holly?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Holly held Brianna’s hand until she detected the change in her breathing and realized she was asleep. Her heart broke for her sister. Moments before, Brianna had been in terrible pain, fearing the very worst for two people whom she had loved most in the world.
As she lay beside her, she struggled to remember their father. Since he’d been a part of her life until she was twelve, she figured she should retain many vivid memories of him, yet, she didn’t. She realized she had never really known him. She’d always been close to her mother, but her father remained an enigma.
Her mother had never spoken ill of her father, but Holly had finally pressed her for some information about him when she was eighteen. She had been hesitant to say much, but had finally admitted that her former husband had been arrogant—routinely putting on airs in order to elevate himself above others. He had often embarked upon ‘get rich quick’ schemes that had cost them their savings on several occasions, and had taken to the bottle which each subsequent failure.
When her mother had urged him to turn to God, to pray for his salvation, and to be content with the many blessings in their lives, he had scoffed at her—calling her weak and simple-minded. He had laughed scornfully at her faith, and when he’d begun cheating on her, had suggested it was her fault, since she’d put her ‘religion’ before him.
It broke Holly’s heart that Brianna had lived for fifteen years with two people who hadn’t put her needs above their own. They had died from injuries sustained in a crash, caused by Alex, whose blood alcohol level was double the legal limit. He had driven while drunk, with little regard for the possibility that he could kill someone while behind the wheel. Holly had learned that her father had been driving without a license, since it had been suspended due to his having been arrested for DUI on two previous occasions.
Holly felt a seething anger toward her father. She forced herself to breathe deeply, to tamp down the fury. “God, help me to forgive,” she prayed. “Help me to help Brianna deal with the loss of her parents…”
She felt a sense of peace descend over her. She knew she needed to retain calm—to never allow Brianna to detect her anger toward her parents. It was heartbreaking that Brianna had lost both parents while young. And although she had cried for them, she hadn’t cried nearly as much as Holly would have expected.
She hoped against hope that having grown up with an alcoholic father hadn’t done irreparable damage to Brianna. The girl was adept at hiding her emotions, and often seemed confused as to what the appropriate response to a situation might be. At times, she seemed older than her years, at other times, much younger.
Holly sighed. She yearned for sleep. Tomorrow would arrive soon enough and she
needed the strength to face it head on.
Chapter Twenty-six
Ryan drove toward Battle Ground, having spent most of the day in Vancouver discussing the sale of his business to Drake and Bill. He’d spent the better part of the night struggling to make a decision. He had finally decided that Annabelle was right. He was no longer interested in working for the family business. Simply walking in today had required a force of will on his part.
Life was too short to spend it doing something that left him feeling empty and unfulfilled. He realized he wanted more. Unfortunately, he had no idea what that might be.
He passed through downtown Battle Ground. He spotted the daycare where Holly worked. He wished he could stop by and see her—talk about his day and the life-altering decision he’d just made. He wanted to share his hopes and dreams with her, to talk through the other big decisions needing to be made.
He suddenly laughed out loud. He was being presumptuous. They hardly knew one another, yet, he felt drawn to her. Being near her felt like … coming home.
Who was he? Even he had to admit that these feelings were foreign to him. He’d never needed anyone before. Sure, he had a sister who loved him, but he’d always walled off his emotions, even from her. It was difficult being the only son of Baxter McGraw. Expectations were high, with no real payoff. There had never been any pleasing his father.
Ryan had nearly reached Holly’s place. He spotted Brianna in the front yard, just as he was about to drive past. He swung the wheel and pulled down the drive.
It bothered him to see the young girl out front alone. He’d warned her before that it wasn’t safe for her to be by herself. They might live in the country, but bad things happened here too.
He climbed out of the truck and crossed the lawn. Brianna was now standing beside the rocking chair she and Holly had found at the side of the road. She made a sweeping gesture. “What do you think?” she asked, smiling.
“It looks great,” he said, assessing her work. She had sanded the chair and had applied a wood stain. “You’ve done a terrific job.”
She beamed under his praise. “I made a stencil of a rose and I’m going to put it here.” She indicated the head rest at the back of the chair. “I’m going to use a darker stain with the stencil.” Her eyes widened hopefully. “Will you help me position the stencil? I want it dead-center, and I’m afraid I’m going to bungle it.”
“Do you have a tape measure?” he asked.
She shook her read regretfully. “No, I’m afraid not.”
“I’ll be right back,” he said, and strode toward his truck. He returned with a tape measure. “Show me exactly where you want the stencil.”
She indicated the placement and he set about measuring the distance from the top and both sides of the head rest. “This looks good,” he said finally.
“Thanks,” she said with a smile. “Could you hold the stencil for a sec? I’m going to tape it.”
“Is the stain dry?”
“Yes. It’s been dry for awhile.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
He helped to stabilize the stencil, while she carefully dabbed the darker stain into the cut-out parts. When done, she carefully peeled it away. The darker rose design looked beautiful against the lighter stain.
“Wow, that looks great,” Ryan said. “You said you made that stencil yourself?”
She nodded. “I did.” She shuffled awkwardly. “I’ve always liked to draw.”
“A horsewoman and an artist,” he said, with admiration in his voice.
“I’m no artist,” she said, and watched him hopefully. “Ryan, do you think you could help me get the chair into the house when it dries? I want to surprise Holly with it. I hope she likes it.”
“She’s going to love it,” he assured her. “You two really have a knack for refurbishing furniture.”
She smiled. “It’s really fun,” she admitted. “I’m kind of surprised myself that I enjoy fixing up old stuff, rather than buying new. Before, I always had the best of…” Her words dwindled off. She might have had the best when it came to material things, but she certainly hadn’t had the best of her parents. Somewhere along the way, they had lost themselves, and any real relationship with her.
Ryan watched her face. It broke his heart to see the sudden sadness in her eyes. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked.
She sighed, but nodded. “I’m fine. I’ve been thinking about my parents quite a bit lately.”
“I know you must miss them a lot.”
“That’s the thing,” she said sadly. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, and I have to be an awful person to say it, but…”
He nodded, prompting her to continue.
“Anyway, I think I miss the idea of my parents, rather than the reality of who they were, and really, who they were with me.”
He furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”
“I didn’t really know them. I mean, I lived with them, of course, but they sort of did their own thing. They seemed to care a lot about each other, and did a lot together, but they really didn’t include me.” She sighed. “Alcohol seemed to be the core of their fun, so… I spent most of my time by myself.” She gave a shrug. “I guess I felt like that was normal, because it was my normal. Now…”
“Now, what, Brianna?”
She forced a smile. “Now, I have a sister who’s only twenty-eight, and she’s a better parent to me than they ever were. She’s only known me for a short time, really, but she puts my needs above her own. She wants the best for me, and is always trying to figure out how to make that happen.”
“She’s a good person,” he said. “She loves you.”
“I know, and I’ll tell you what—I made it hard for her in the beginning. I wasn’t easy to love for most of the time I’ve been with her, really,” she conceded.
He smiled. “Well, you’re pretty loveable now.”
“Thanks,” she said, shuffling her feet and reddening at the compliment. She gave him a tentative glance. “I’ve realized I’m never going to have a father again but…”
“Hey, that’s not true. Someday, you’re going to get married and hopefully your future husband will have a really nice father. He’ll be a father to you. You mark my words.”
“I’ve never thought about that,” she said, smiling softly. “You’re right. But…”
“What?” he asked, smiling indulgently.
“I was thinking it would be great to have a big brother. If Holly gets married, her husband would be my brother-in-law. That’s pretty close to a big brother, right. I mean, hopefully he would like me and all, and won’t mind having me around…” She gave a dismissive wave. “I’m being stupid.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am,” she sighed. “Holly isn’t getting married anytime soon anyway. I’ll probably be an adult by the time she gets married.”
“Oh,” he said, pretending a casual interest, when in reality, his heart began pounding like a drum in overdrive. “She doesn’t want to get married, huh?”
Holly cocked her head in thought. “I think she would like to find a good guy, but she won’t ‘saddle’ anyone with her problems.” She emphasized the word saddle by doing air quotes with her fingers.
“Holly has problems?” he asked lightly. “Really? She seems so together.”
He felt some guilt for asking Brianna questions about her sister. He had no doubt she wouldn’t appreciate his intrusive questioning. He knew he wasn’t playing fair and was taking advantage of Brianna’s naiveté. But his motives were pure. He cared. A lot.
“Oh, she thinks she does,” Brianna said with a roll of her eyes. “She thinks she has so much baggage a guy wouldn’t want her.”
“Baggage?”
“She has a lot of debt,” she told him.
He arched his brows. “Really?” He grinned. “Likes to use her credit cards, eh?”
“Oh, no! Nothing like that. I mean, she has one credit card for emergencies or for necess
ities, but no, she’s not big on credit cards. In fact, I tried to tell her she should get a bunch and max them out and then declare bankruptcy, but…”
“You did what?”
She winced. “I know. It was stupid of me. It’s just, that’s what my folks did, you know. They’d buy all sorts of stuff we couldn’t afford and then file for bankruptcy. They always managed to hang onto their stuff, but didn’t have to pay for it. My dad thought he was pretty smart, you know.”
“Hmmm,” he murmured.
“Yeah, but anyway, Holly told me that any debt we incur we have to pay off. She said we should never purchase anything we can’t afford and that paying off our debt—heavy on the ‘our’—is our responsibility. She said it’s a matter of character.”
“Yes, I agree with her,” he said, as he started off toward the porch. He dropped down on the top step.
Brianna followed and joined him there. “Anyway, she’s stuck with a lot of debt and said she’d never marry a guy and ‘saddle’ him with it.”
“Sounds pretty noble.”
“Yeah, but Ryan, if a guy loves a woman enough, wouldn’t he be willing to assume her debt. I mean, if he really loved her.”
“I would think so,” he admitted. “I guess it would depend upon how she acquired the debt. I mean, if a woman has a stack of credit cards and maxes them out, and then marries a guy, and he pays off the bills, only to have her do it again…”
“That would be bad,” Brianna acknowledged. “But it’s not like that with Holly. The only reason she has any debt is because when her mother got sick, the hospital wouldn’t treat her unless someone promised to pay them for her treatment. Her mom didn’t have insurance, so Holly accepted responsibility for payment.” She sat quietly for a moment, as if pondering the implications of her sister’s sacrifice, but perked up. “She’s paid off a lot of it already. She says she’ll probably be out from under the debt in four years. I think that’s what she said, but to do that, we have to watch every penny.” She smiled. “It’s so great Uncle Ben left us this place. Since we don’t have to pay rent or a mortgage payment, Holly has been able to put more money toward the debt than she had been able to before.”
By Summer's End (Christian Fiction) Page 17