by Jillian Hart
He mounted up clumsily, but good for a second attempt. “Know what I think?”
Kendra found herself in the saddle, reins gathered, turning Jingles away from the creek and toward the trail. Toward home. She wanted to go home.
“I like this. It’s peaceful. It’s closer to being like hiking than I thought it would be. Not as near to the ground.”
She nodded, acknowledging his attempt at humor.
“It’s peaceful. Closer to nature, something you don’t get on a motorbike or four-wheeling.”
A tip of a pine bough brushed against her cheek, startling her. Reminding her where she was. She was here, safe, the memories were gone, tucked safely away behind the shields protecting her heart. Leaving a growing emptiness.
An emptiness that had swallowed all the warmth and laughter she’d felt with Cameron. That left her feeling alone, as she was meant to be.
She stayed several yards ahead of Cameron on the return trip through the tree line and along the well-used path until the fields and the paddocks and the buildings came into sight.
Chapter Six
Kendra couldn’t resist standing at her new niece’s crib for a few more moments, gazing down on the sleeping infant, so sweet and precious and new. Love shone like the sun inside her heart. Gramma’s words came to mind. That’s what your little girl will look like one day.
No way, Gramma. Kendra brushed her hand over the infant’s downy head, her fine hair already thicker and curlier than when she’d been born. She was a McKaslin, all right, with the gold locks.
“You look like your mom, not me,” she told the baby, who sighed in her sleep, pressing into Kendra’s touch.
Oh, I’m going to spoil you rotten, little girl. It was an aunt’s privilege, after all. She thought of all the birthday presents to buy, all the fun outings ahead, finding her first pony and teaching her to ride. Buying her riding boots and her first cowboy hat. So much to look forward to.
She felt a tug on the hem of her denim shorts.
“Auntie Kendwa?” A big girl, two and a half years old, Allie stretched out both adorably chubby hands. “Up!”
“Hey, princess.” Kendra settled her niece against her hip, heading for the door. “Are you up from your nap already?”
“Mine!” Allie pointed to the baby in the crib.
“That’s right. She’s your little sister. Isn’t she nice?”
Allie nodded, her silken gold hair as soft as silk against Kendra’s jaw. She smelled of baby shampoo and the laundry detergent Karen used and that sweet little-girl scent that was everything good. “Allie want cookie.”
“Are you a hungry girl?”
A very serious nod. “Hungwy.”
“Then we’d better go downstairs and check out the cookie jar. There just might be chocolate cookies.”
“Yum.”
Thoroughly charmed, Kendra started down the stairs and onto the main floor, careful to be quiet as she circled past the living room, where Karen was stretched out napping on the couch. She didn’t stir.
“Cookie! Cookie!” Allie clapped her hands together, steepling her little fingers when she saw the jar had been refilled, thanks to a late-night baking.
“You can have two.” Kendra handed one to the girl, who took a big bite and chewed happily.
She slipped Allie into her high chair, buckled her up and locked the tray in place. She left the second cookie within reach while she searched through the cupboard for a cup. When she turned around, Allie had a cookie in each hand, both missing a big bite out of the tops of them.
Too cute. Kendra felt her self-protective armor settle back in place. This is not what it would be like if she had a family of her own—she wasn’t going to think like that. She wasn’t ever going to go there. To start picturing in her mind what it would be like if she could find a man to trust.
A man like Cameron. The thought breezed into her mind so fast and stealthily, she couldn’t stop it. And where had that come from? She was far from interested in the local sheriff. Really. She was fine all by herself. Just fine.
A light tap on the screen door had Allie squealing. “Gwamma! Gwamma!”
“Yes, it’s me, little darling.” Gramma slipped into the kitchen, carrying an insulated casserole dish and a rolled grocery bag on top, which she set on the edge of the kitchen island. “I brought dinner for you girls. I know, you were going to handle it, but you’ve been doing so much lately, I couldn’t help wanting to pitch in.”
“Thank you, Gramma.” Kendra kissed her grandmother’s soft cheek, as delicate as paper. “You look snazzy. Where are you off to with your boyfriend?”
“Imagine, a boyfriend at my age.” Gramma sparkled with happiness as she pulled a small stuffed tiger from her purse, heading straight for the high chair and the little girl who was clapping in glee. “Look what Gramma got you.”
“A kitty!” Chocolate ringed Allie’s mouth and crumbs rained from her fingers as she reached out to claim her new toy.
“There’s a concert over at the university,” Gramma explained while Kendra poured Allie’s milk. “Selections from Chopin. You know how I love classical music. Willard is spoiling me.”
“I knew I liked that man.” Kendra was glad to see that her grandmother, after being a widow for so long, had found someone who made her happy.
Please, help him to continue, she prayed. She worried about her gramma, who was so trusting. Sometimes it wasn’t easy to see what lurked hidden inside a person—a man.
Isn’t that how she’d felt about Jerrod? He’d been a truly wonderful boyfriend at first. And then—
Her stomach turned to ice and her hand shook. The spill-proof lid skidded through her fingers and milk sloshed over the rim.
“I’m glad you’re taking your time getting to know Willard.” She grabbed a paper towel to wipe up the mess. “It’s good to go slow.”
“I’m enjoying every moment. It’s shameful how he spoils me. I tell him so, too, but do you know what he says? Get used to it, Helen. Goodness. He’s all but swept me off my feet.”
“It’s good to keep your feet on the ground.”
“That’s sensible advice from a woman who has never truly been in love.” Gramma took the lid and snapped it into place. “True love is worth the flight and the fall. It’s the journey that matters, dear. What choices we make, to love and to live, especially after we get hurt. Love is never a mistake. Remember that.”
Yes, it is. What else could Jerrod have been but a mistake? Maybe she’d been blind, but Jerrod had seemed kind and gallant at first. With everything she was and everything she had in her soul to give, she’d wanted to fall in love.
And she had. She’d been wrong. She’d made one huge glaring mistake, just one.
Nothing would ever be the same again. Nothing would ever be right.
“Great-Gramma loves you, darling.”
Kendra watched as her grandmother kissed the top of Allie’s golden head, all curls and silk.
“I think it’s great you’re helping the sheriff out.” Gramma flashed Kendra a knowing look. “He told me all about it when he came in for coffee this morning. Said how you were helping him find the right horse.”
“It is my job.”
“Exactly.” Sparkling, full of hope, Gramma headed to the door in a swirl of color and beauty. “I’m so pleased you do your job well. Keep up the good work.”
Really. Kendra rolled her eyes. “You could mind your own business.”
“What fun would that be? Oh, hi, girls. I’m on my way out. Michelle, you’re glowing. Kirby, you look pale. Are you getting enough sleep?”
“I had a late call last night,” replied Kirby, the nurse, as she held the door. “Have a good time, Gramma.”
“Yeah, and behave!” Michelle called out, teasing. “I’m not sure about that grandmother of ours. Out until all hours of the evening with that boyfriend of hers.”
“The literature professor.” Kirby, a year younger than Kendra, set the board game and the
foil-covered cake pan on the table. “Are you ready for game night? I made chocolate cake.”
“Is that taco cheese-and-macaroni casserole I smell?” Michelle followed her nose to the counter. “Ooh, and Gramma’s homemade rolls. We’re eatin’ good tonight, but not as good as little Allie.”
“Hello, cutie pie.” Kirby freed their niece from the high chair. “Where’s your mommy?”
“Sleeping,” Kendra supplied while she preheated the oven. “You guys watch Allie for me, and I’ll get supper on for us.”
“My pleasure.” Kirby spirited their niece away.
Leaving Michelle to lean against the counter and gloat. “Do you know what I heard? That you spent yesterday afternoon with a certain handsome lawman. One that was the recipient of your baked goods the other day.”
“You mean Frank, the deputy?”
Michelle scowled playfully, because there was an abiding love between them. “Cameron is a good man. Good in the way that matters. The kind of man that stands tall and loves deep. Way to go, sis.”
“I’m not seeing the sheriff.”
“Face it. You literally saw him. You were alone with him. I’d call that a date.”
Her stomach turned into a cold, hard ball. “You’re making something out of nothing. It’s business. He wants to buy a horse. I’m going to help him. I do that. I own a riding stable, remember?”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t have to be all business.” Michelle grabbed the board game and began unboxing the set. The clatter of tokens and the spill of hotels filled the silence between them.
Kendra took the lettuce from the refrigerator and tore open the plastic wrap. Why were her hands trembling again? It’s just business, she wanted to say one more time convincingly, but to who? To Michelle? Or herself?
Cameron is a good man. Good in the way that matters. How did Michelle know? And were there any good, decent men left out there? The kind that never hurt, that always stayed? How would she know when she found one?
Or would she make the same mistake?
As if in answer, her arm ached, the pins and plates that had held her bones together gone now, but the memory remained.
As deep as those scars had gone, there were others that had cut more deeply. Those scars hurt, too.
It was amazing the difference a new interest could make in a man’s life. Cameron had slept like the dead, something he hadn’t done in more years than he could count.
Rested, it was that much easier to face work on a Monday morning, whistling while he strolled around the echoing office making coffee and punching out reports.
Frank happened by a few minutes before eight o’clock, keys jingling, looking dog tired. “What’s with you? I could toss you in the holding cell. There ought to be some ordinance against being happy before coffee.”
“I’ve already had mine. It’s hot.” He gestured toward the low filing cabinet where the coffeemaker sat, light on, coffee steaming.
Frank frowned and he grabbed a mug with a clink and poured. “It’s got to be that woman. If you’re dating her, then does that mean we’ll be getting more cookies?”
“You can hope, but I’m not dating her.”
Frank swiped one of the last two from the plate by the sugar packets. “Want the last one?”
“Already helped myself.” Cameron stapled the last report and checked his e-mail. Nothing much, just a reminder for this month’s council meeting from the mayor’s secretary.
“Hmm, these sure are good.” Frank chewed as he headed toward the door. “Did you score another date with her for this weekend?”
“I told you. I didn’t have a first date with her.”
“That’s your story. I don’t think you’re telling me the truth, man.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Sure it is, if cookies are involved.”
“We didn’t have a date, but I did spend time with the lovely lady over the weekend.”
“You mean a woman that fine actually deigned to speak to a guy like you?”
“A few words. I’m thinking there’ll be more if I board a horse at her place.”
“Wait. Hold it. What horse?”
The phone at his elbow rang, the first line lit up bright red. He grabbed the receiver, since Frank was taking his last bite of the cookies.
“Hello, Sheriff,” said the sweetest voice ever.
“Kendra.” Did he sound way too unprofessional or what? He cleared his throat and tried to sound more dignified. “What can I do for you on this fine morning?”
“I’ve got some good news for you.”
“I like the sound of that. Frank and I polished off the last of your cookies, crumbs and all. Thank you. Haven’t had better cookies.”
“I’m glad you liked them.”
Was it his imagination, or did she sound glad to talk to him?
“I may have found the perfect horse for you.”
“Worked on that mighty fast, did you?”
“That’s my job. I put out a few feelers, and guess what? I just got off the phone with a former client. I taught his kids to ride, and they’re a very fine family of horse lovers. They have a gelding they’re interested in selling, but only to someone who will be good to him. He’s a registered quarter horse, but they are willing to budge on the price quite a bit. They’d rather he went to a good home.”
Nerves coiled in the pit of his stomach. This was a big step. He was ready for it, but… “I don’t want to make a mistake. Is he a good horse?”
“I trained him.”
That said something. “Would you buy him, if you were me?”
“Absolutely. Warrior is a good-hearted animal. Plus, he’s trained for the backwoods. The father and son are outdoorsmen, like yourself. The son’s going off to college, and they don’t want to sell, but they don’t want the horse to be lonely, either. Would you like to look at him?”
“Would you come with me?”
“Sure. Let me check my schedule.” He could hear Kendra flicking through her paperwork, all business. “I could do it this evening.”
“So can I. Want me to ride out and pick you up?” A man could always hope.
“Oh, no, that’s going well out of your way.”
“You’re going out of yours to help me. The least I can do is provide the transportation.”
“Don’t worry about it. I do this all the time.”
“As long as you’re sure.”
“Absolutely.” Kendra couldn’t believe what a nice guy Cameron was. She thought about what her sister had said. The kind of man that stands tall and loves deep.
Michelle was happily married. Maybe she knew the measure of a man when she looked at him. Kendra couldn’t argue that Michelle was right.
Only the Lord knew how protective he’d been to her the night her life was in danger. How tall he’d stood. How strong.
How kind he’d been in the face of devastation and broken faith.
But if she ever trusted a man again, it would not be one who carried a gun on his hip. Not a man who stood strong against violence and won. The constant reminder of what she’d endured would just be too painful.
She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing away the image of Cameron on that cold, rainy October night taking Jerrod down. Fear took hold of her stomach.
Don’t remember.
She cleared her throat. Business. That’s what she had to focus on. And the fact that the Lord would not have led Cameron across her path once more if there wasn’t a greater purpose. She’d received the sheriff’s help; it was her chance to help him in return.
It felt right. Maybe it would help her find a way to forget and forgive. To bury that horrible time forever.
She forced cheer into her voice. “Do you know the Thornton’s ranch? I’ll meet you there at seven?”
“I’ll be there. How do we do this? Do I need to bring my checkbook or anything?”
“You can, but you don’t have to make a decision today. It’s good to meet the horse and
see if your personalities mesh, if he’s what you want in a friend. A lot of folks look at a dozen or more horses before they find the right one.”
“How do you know when you do?”
“You just know. You feel it in your heart. Do you know what I mean?”
Boy, did he. He had to wonder what he was feeling inside at this moment.
As he said goodbye and replaced the phone in the cradle, he realized he wasn’t alone in the office. Frank was sitting across the room at his desk, staring right at him, one eyebrow raised—whether in disdain or approval, it was hard to tell.
I get to look at a horse tonight. It was all he could do to hold back his excitement. It made him want to get up and do a happy dance right in the middle of the street, but he restrained himself.
He settled for a second cup of coffee instead. Life was looking up. For the first time in a long while, he was glad to be alive.
As she kicked up a cloud of dust behind her pickup, barreling down the country road to the Thornton ranch, it hit her. Should she be speeding when she knew a sheriff was around? Not that she was speeding badly, just pushing the needle a little over the legal limit. She was running late.
Better late than a lawbreaker. Or having to pay for a ticket. She eased her foot off the gas and not a moment too soon. There was a gray patrol cruiser. Was it Cameron?
No, she realized as she moved over on the narrow road to give the oncoming car plenty of room. It was the new deputy. He had his window down and saluted her as they both slowed.
“Going a little fast, weren’t you?” Easygoing and polite, the deputy flashed a grin at her.
“Yeah.” It hurt to admit it. “I’m late meeting your boss.”
“It’s awful generous of you to help him out like this. He seems to really want a horse.”
Was it her imagination, or did the deputy seem sarcastic? Not mean sarcastic, but as if he knew something she didn’t. Oh, wait, she knew what he thought. He thought she had a crush on Cameron, too.
Her face grew hot. Really! Bake cookies as a thank-you, as a good gesture, and look what happens. She was really starting to regret making those cookies.