by R. J. Blain
“Chasing a rabbit across the road. I couldn’t stop in time.”
“Did he seem impaired?”
The male’s mate shook her head. “No, not at all. He was really fast, hardly more than a blur when he darted in front of us.”
When a man dressed in something as pale as my coat approached the desk, I froze. I could smell the cinnamon wafting off him from across the room. My human was also alarmed.
We weren’t in our territory, and we were without our pack.
My human’s suggestion to act submissive seemed like a much better idea when faced with another Fenerec. I immediately whimpered, flopped in the female’s hold, and squirmed in my effort to show my neck and belly. I struggled against her hold, tucking my tail as close to me as I could.
“What seems to be the problem, Paula?” the male demanded, his gruff voice sharp. He also wore a pair of the thick leather gloves over his hands.
“This couple brought in a fox, Doctor,” the female replied. “Arctic, maybe? They hit him with their car up in the Cascades.”
The Fenerec approached us, and with a whine, I flattened myself to the female’s box.
“Okay. I’ll take him to the back. He’s probably an escapee from a zoo or a collector. Pet foxes are in fashion,” the Fenerec grumbled, grabbing hold of my neck.
My human was so offended at being called a fox a growl slipped out before I was able to restrain him. The Fenerec narrowed his eyes, tightening his grip on me. “Thank you for bringing him in. Please talk to Paula about any precautions you may want to take.”
The Fenerec carried me away from the other humans. My human’s fear and anxiety strengthened.
Meeting a rival Fenerec during the mating season wasn’t supposed to happen at a vet. That much I was able to glean from him before I had to exert my will over him to settle him down.
If he wanted me to pretend to be a submissive, I needed him quiet and calm. While I was smart and wise, my human didn’t handle submission very well. Few earned his respect, and he wasn’t like me.
He couldn’t play pretend for long before he forgot himself and needed to win every challenge and prove he was worthy of his pack. I knew we were. They had accepted us from the start.
My human, however, refused to believe in their acceptance despite the passage of the seasons. One day, my human would learn to trust me with the important matters, like knowing exactly when to stare at the ground, tuck in our tail, and let other wolves win.
I was carried, like it or not, into a room with a metal box in the center of it. The Fenerec dumped me on it, pinning me down. I whined, curled on my side, and stretched my head out so my throat was exposed.
My human hated every moment of it. I didn’t like it either, but until my human had a chance to rest, we couldn’t take the two-legged form we spent much of our time in.
He was too weary, and I hurt too much.
Reaching out with one hand, he picked up an odd device, tucked it between his shoulder and his ear, and pressed buttons on the little box hanging from the wall.
It made noise, and after a few moments, I heard someone speaking on the other end of the line.
“It’s O’Conner. Any news if any locals have lost a wolf?”
My human’s anxiety spiked, and I allowed him to whine for us. Whining helped him a little; it gave him the illusion of comfort, the sense of communication, and a chance to do something other than lie helplessly in the grip of another Fenerec.
“No, if he weighs in at more than fifteen pounds soaking wet, I’ll be surprised. He’s a submissive puppy. Coat color is odd, though. Paula thought he was an arctic fox when a couple brought him in. They hit him with their car,” the Fenerec replied.
When he let us go, taking a step back, my human was as surprised as I was. I recovered first, and with my tail tucked, I scrambled to escape. My claws couldn’t find purchase on the slick box, and my hind legs didn’t want to cooperate. I did manage to get to my paws, slipping and sliding towards the edge of the box. I balked at the edge.
The ground was a long way down, and I doubted my legs would hold up. I lowered to my belly and whimpered, ears turned back.
Staring at the metal box was the hardest part of acting submissive. Every single one of my human’s instincts wanted to issue a challenge and demand respect from the Fenerec towering over us.
“Yeah, sure. I can describe him. He’s pale. A bit dirty, so I can’t tell if he’s gray or white. Probably gray. There’s blood in his fur from where he was hit, maybe from a recent kill, too. He was definitely injured; I let him loose, and he won’t even try to jump to the floor. He’s just cowering at the edge of the table, shivering. If a pack has lost their submissive, they’re probably in a panic by now. He’s definitely not one of ours.”
There was a long pause. “No, I haven’t seen any other Fenerec come through today. If I had, I would have called you. What do you want me to do with the puppy?”
My human despaired at being called a puppy. I had chosen our size because it was easier on my human, giving us everything we needed to hide where he could rest.
We needed to be small. We had been small before and had proven ourselves to be the victorious hunters. Small wasn’t weak.
“Okay, I’ll bring the puppy over as soon as I can. I have to call in someone to cover for me. Who would have thought it would be so busy tonight?” The Fenerec hung the device back onto the wall and turned to me. “Okay, Pup. I’ll take you to someone who can get you home.”
My human didn’t want to go home. Home was a lonely place.
Without initiating a dominance battle, I couldn’t stop the other Fenerec. All I could do was shelter my human and wait for him to be ready to resume his role. Once he settled, I would do as he should have done and draw on the comfort of our pack.
In that, we were well matched. My human was stubborn, but one day he’d learn.
With my human out of the way, it was much easier to play submissive—or dead. One worked as well as the other, and the Fenerec was a lot less aggressive when I pretended I wasn’t awake. It didn’t matter I wasn’t actually submissive; I tricked the other’s wolf into believing I was.
That’s all that mattered.
While the Fenerec would never be a match for me, he was dominant enough. All I had to do to bring him into line was whimper. My human wouldn’t understand my manipulations. It never occurred to him to play the nature of the Alphas against them.
My human wouldn’t understand, because he was the worst of the worst. He was determined to protect Alpha and submissive alike. On some level, he understood the role of a submissive, though it never occurred to him he could, if he wanted, fill that function himself if necessary.
We were meant to protect, but we were meant to comfort, just as a submissive did. Our ways were different, sheltering from harm, but our roles weren’t so different. As a submissive, I could wake the instincts of the wolves I protected.
It was a game I enjoyed playing, when he let me.
I’d have to make him submit to me more often, so I might teach him better how to be a proper wolf, one capable of more tricks and games. He did well for a human, but I was better.
I was a wolf.
Wolves were always better, though I saw value in my human’s odd ways.
I didn’t care for time as much as my human did. It went by. The Fenerec left me alone, locking me in the room with the metal box. When he returned, he was holding a blanket in his hands. My human liked blankets, soft ones that kept us warm. He liked the one in his box the best.
It smelled of our mate.
Even submissive wolves fought back when cornered, so when the Fenerec approached with his blanket, I bared my teeth at him. I growled, soft and in warning.
“I don’t want to have to dominate you,” the Fenerec said, his tone firm.
My human stirred at the threat. Whining and lowering my head, I submitted to the indignity of being wrapped up in the blanket. My hind legs still ached, but they had al
ready begun to heal. I’d recover faster once my human regained his strength. For that, we needed our submissive, but he was far away. I huffed.
If I had my way, I would have called on Desmond and his wolf again, but my human was tired of submitting. He was weary of fighting for dominance. Desmond’s wolf didn’t submit easily or well, and only in dire need. I liked Wendy, but Desmond wouldn’t let my human near his mate long enough for her to calm him. One day, we would rely on our mate as Desmond relied on his, but it wasn’t time for that yet.
I sighed as the Fenerec carried us to another moving box. My human’s interest roused in it. It wasn’t sleek like his box. It was big, too big, but my human liked it all the same.
The Fenerec made me ride on his lap in the box, one hand pressed between my ears. Sometimes he rubbed my fur, but because foolish Fenerec couldn’t accept how wonderful it felt, I growled to warn him off. He stopped, at least for a while.
When he brought the box to a halt, it was at a building that reeked of Fenerec. The presence of a pack Alpha settled over me, and I turned my ears back.
My human’s anxiety once again spiked, strong enough I had to work to keep control over him. I whined. Where there was an Alpha, his pack wasn’t far behind.
If the pack strained my human too much, he would break.
“You’re a jumpy one, aren’t you?” the Fenerec said, pushing open the door. “Sanders!”
I perked my ears up.
Sanders would work. My human liked him. Sanders wasn’t a real risk to us, not like Desmond and his wolf. If we were in Sanders’s territory, my human could relax.
The Alpha made his appearance, and I drew in a breath to confirm his scent. Sanders cradled us in his arm, ducking his head down to press his nose to our neck. He breathed in.
He laughed. “You say he got hit by a car?”
“Somewhere in the Cascades. Couple didn’t tell us where. You know which pack he belongs to?”
“This puppy gets around. I know him. How badly is he hurt?”
“You know I can’t stand handling hurt a submissive, Sanders. He got hit in the hind legs and was limping pretty badly when they brought him in. They’re lucky he wasn’t a dominant, or they would’ve been mauled, hurt like he is. I don’t think anything is broken, but I wasn’t about to risk fighting with him when we had Normals in with their pets.”
Sanders made a thoughtful sound, rubbing his nose against my fur. “Okay. I’ll take care of him. Go on home. Thanks for bringing him by.”
When the other Fenerec left, Sanders flopped on a couch, cradling me against his chest. “Desmond’s having kittens. You took off right out from under his nose, so stealthily your pack didn’t have a clue you had made a run for it until he called them asking if they had heard from you.”
I huffed, stretching out my head so I could rest my chin on Sanders’s arm.
“I don’t suppose you can go change, can you?”
The request worried me. My human was reluctant. When he didn’t want to change, it hurt and took us longer. It tired him and left us weak. Turning my ears back, I bared my teeth.
Sanders narrowed his eyes. “Richard.”
How could I tell the Alpha what was wrong without my human’s cooperation? I snapped my teeth and did the last thing my human would ever do.
I lowered my gaze to the ground and waited. With the slow, deliberate care of a frightened submissive, I exposed my throat. Keeping still, I waited for the Alpha’s reaction.
“Jesus,” Sanders muttered, shifting to pull something out of his pocket. He pressed something on the screen. “It’s Sanders. I know you’re with your mate, but can you come over to my house for a bit? I need your help with something.”
I held my pose, shivering as I waited.
Sanders scratched under my chin. “You’d make a terrible submissive, Richard. I don’t know how you tricked Earl, but it isn’t going to work on me. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but if Chrissy can’t fix it, I don’t know who can.”
When Chrissy knocked at Sanders’s door, I felt the change in the air. I lifted my head, perking my ears forward. A submissive with a pack did that. When they came near, they brought calm with them. Sanders chuckled, dumped me onto the couch, and got up to let the Fenerec in.
“What’s wrong, Sanders?” Chrissy asked, her voice soft.
She kept her eyes on the floor, shivering as Sanders approached her. My human reacted to her, the need to protect drawing him out from hiding. I hopped off the couch and ended up crumpling in a heap with a yelp as my hind legs refused to cooperate.
Pain blinded me and kept me limp on the floor. When I shook it off, Sanders was next to me, running his hands over my flank. “Chrissy, his wolf is in control.”
Chrissy’s scent changed, souring with her fear. “He’s running wild?”
“If he were running wild, Chrissy, I would have called in Desmond,” Sanders replied, his tone gentle. “All I need is for you to cuddle with him, okay? He likes being petted, and you’ll keep him calm. That’s all you have to do.”
Submissive didn’t mean suicidal. I bared my fangs when Chrissy said, her tone displeased, “Cuddle? Pet? What nonsense is this?”
“Watch,” the Alpha said. He rolled me onto my back and rubbed my belly, coaxing a groan out of me. I closed my eyes, stretching out my neck. When he stroked under my chin, down my throat to my chest, the submissive’s close proximity started taking hold on me and my human. “He’s shameless.”
“That’s crazy. It’s absurd. Is that thing really a Fenerec?”
Sanders laughed, and because he was petting me, I wasn’t able to take too much offense at the submissive’s insult. “If you’re not comfortable with doing it, I won’t force you.”
“All I have to do is pet him?”
“That’s it. I’ll leave you alone with him for ten minutes and see how he’s doing after. It’ll be easier if I’m not in the room hovering.”
I cracked open an eye. While Chrissy didn’t look happy about it, she knelt beside me. When she tentatively touched my belly fur, her eyes widened. “He’s softer than cashmere.”
“I bet I could make a fortune if I charged by the minute.” Sanders stood, stretching. “I’m going to go make a call in the kitchen. If you need me, shout out.”
“If I need you, I’ll be screaming,” Chrissy promised.
“You’ll be fine.”
The submissive Fenerec wrinkled her nose, but petted me anyway. As my human had so often done for me, I fed him the calm she offered.
While Sanders’s submissive helped, my human needed something else—something more. Growling my frustration, I rolled over, snapping my teeth as I struggled to stand.
Chrissy shrieked, which brought Sanders at a run. Flattening my ears back, I limped my way towards the other Alpha. My right hind leg was the worst, refusing to bear any of my weight. I snarled each and every step.
Without my human, I wasn’t healing, not like I should, and judging by the worry in Sanders scent, he realized it.
We were supposed to be a pair. We weren’t supposed to have a beginning or an end, but rather a melding that left us always nosing at each other’s territory. I was supposed to draw on him while he was likewise supposed to rely on me.
Sanders knelt beside me. “Richard, have you healed at all?”
Chrissy clapped her hands to her mouth. “Richard? He’s your friend Richard? And he’s wild?”
I turned an ear back at the fear in Chrissy’s voice. Sighing, I shook my head.
“Damn it. Chrissy, thanks for coming out. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. Will you be okay with him? If he’s…”
“I’ll take care of him,” Sanders whispered.
The submissive hesitated before backing her way out of her Alpha’s den.
“You’re his wolf, aren’t you?” Sitting down next to me, Sanders pinched the bridge of his nose. “Richard’s not in there at all, is he?”
We were Richard, but I
didn’t know how to explain it to the other Alpha. He hadn’t been born with his wolf. He had found him later. We were different. We had always been us, a human bound to a wolf and a wolf bound to a human.
But he was right; my human was lost, tired, and worn. I didn’t know how to restore us to what we needed to be.
I didn’t like being in control without my human fighting me, forcing me to surpass him. We had tried too hard, pushed too far, and done what we shouldn’t have been able to do, and my human was paying the price for it. He had called on me, begged for my help to help the two who were pack but weren’t part of our pack. He had been the one to surpass our limits and dominate the wolf we never should have been able to control, all for the sake of our mate.
Then, bit by bit, he crumbled away despite Desmond’s efforts to keep my human strong.
Without my human, I couldn’t even cling to our pack bonds. We, together, had to do it.
I whined, leaning against Sanders.
He picked me up, burying his face in the scruff of my neck. “I’ll call Desmond. Maybe he’ll know what to do.”
Desmond couldn’t help us. He had already tried, but I didn’t have any way to tell him that, not without my human’s help.
Sanders carried me back to the couch, slumping down on it. I managed to draw on my human enough to understand what he was doing. Putting his phone on speaker, he called Desmond.
“Desmond.”
“Theoretical question, Desmond.”
“I don’t like those, Sanders.”
“Tough shit,” Sanders snarled.
There was a long moment of silence. I turned my ears back and waited, shivering. Sanders stroked his hand down my back.
“Fine, what is this theoretical question of yours?”
“Can the human half of a Fenerec die?”
Baring my teeth in a silent snarl, I considered taking a bite out of Sanders for even suggesting my human was going to die. I wouldn’t allow it.
If I didn’t die, everything that made us who we were would disappear.
I didn’t want to become a lesser cousin.