by Kreig, K. L.
I know every single thing my man loves. I know how to strum his body expertly, as he does mine, so I lightly fondle his balls, reaching back with a finger to gently stroke his perineum. His cock swells, his thrusts increase violently, and my scalp stings from how hard he grips my hair. “I’m gonna come, baby.”
Seconds later, loud bellows that can’t be mistaken for anything other than one in the throes of an orgasm, echo off the four thin walls of the lounge. I swallow every drop of his salty goodness and continue licking him until he softens.
Strong arms reach under mine and he pulls me to him, grabbing my lips in a bruising kiss. “Let’s go home. I want to fuck my new fiancée properly in private. Only my ears will hear you moan and scream for me.” His silky voice feathers in my ear, causing goose bumps to blanket every inch of flesh.
“I love you Gray Colloway.”
“Not half as much as I love you, my soon-to-be wife.”
I wake from my dream with tears streaming down my face. I haven’t dreamed about the night Gray asked me to marry him in years. It shreds my already butchered heart to microscopic pieces. I was deliriously happy that night. We went back to his place and made love until the sun rose.
After only four hours of sleep, my father called, begging me to come home. He sounded scared. I thought something had happened to Alyse. It wouldn’t have been the first time. I left my sleeping fiancé a note that I’d be back soon, but when I got home, Alyse was nowhere to be found. Instead, standing in my father’s living room was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And he was surrounded by his gun-toting, roughneck pack mates. I’m here to tell you, a loaded gun in your face by someone who isn’t afraid to use it will make you do just about anything.
The next choked words out of my father’s bleeding mouth changed my life. “They’re here for Alyse.”
My father. I had missed so much of my life because of my father, because of his weaknesses. Peter Wilder may be the monster that literally held my life, and that of my family’s, in his hands, but my father was the catalyst. The decisions he made led us all to where we all are today. His greed, his lack of integrity and his selfishness had far reaching effects on so many lives.
Even in death, I’ll never forgive him.
They didn’t want my father’s life to pay his debt. No, that would serve them no purpose, so they took his daughter instead. While Peter wanted Alyse, he settled for me. But I would selflessly do it again. With Alyse’s fragile state at the time, she would not have survived a man like Peter Wilder; he would have broken her within a week. It took him far longer with me.
I did the only thing I could to save her. I threw myself on the proverbial sword. I married a man I did not know, a man I did not love…a man who turned out to be the vilest, most ruthless and cruel of men to ever walk the planet.
It’s over. It’s behind you, Livia. After over three years of tortured hell, I’m free from both my literal and invisible chains, and my sister, Alyse, is safe and successful and happy and healthy. In love. That’s what matters. She has no idea the fate she escaped, and it will stay that. My single regret is that I crushed the man I loved in the process of saving my sister.
My phone rings, pulling me out of my reverie. I quickly wipe my eyes and silently curse the fact that I had to run into Gray again. Now I feel like I’ve taken several steps back in my ability to cope with the circumstances the universe decided to hand me. I may not be living, but I was at least surviving until I laid eyes on the man I am still in love with. The man I’d constantly thought about seeking out over the last two years but couldn’t as I was no longer good enough for him.
I grab my cell and looking down, I see it’s Alyse. “Hi Lysee,” I answer, trying to sound upbeat, when I’m breaking apart inside.
“Hey, Libs. I haven’t heard from you in a while. Just wanted to see how you’re doing. Did you get that job?”
The one concession I’d gotten from Peter was to keep in touch with Alyse, but only sporadically. He’d let me have supervised phone discussions, so I didn’t reveal anything I shouldn’t, but I was never allowed to see her. I didn’t lay eyes on my sister for three long years. When my father got ill and passed away, she couldn’t understand why I refused to come home. I told her I was in Europe and couldn’t afford the ticket back. Lame excuse, but it was all I could offer. Of course the truth was, Peter wouldn’t let me, but I couldn’t tell her that because she didn’t know about Peter. It definitely put a strain on our relationship, but we’re finally bouncing back, slowly.
“Yes, I did. I started on Monday, but the girl I’m replacing went into labor early, so now I’m trying to get by on my own.” It was Saturday, and it had been a hell of a long week. I foresaw many long evenings next week too. I would be glad when this board meeting was over because next week that was my sole job. Making my boss look good. I did not want to get fired and have to go back to waitressing again.
“That stinks.”
“Yes, it does. But I’ll get by. I’m lucky to have gotten the job.” I was just hoping Wes wasn’t regretting hiring me.
“When are you coming home? I want you to meet Finn.”
Finn was the man that Alyse had fallen in love with. She started dating him a just a few months ago, right after we sold our father’s house, and I haven’t been able to set foot again in Detroit. The idea of going back there, where there are memories of Gray everywhere I look makes my stomach lurch. So I haven’t met Alyse’s boy-toy yet, but by the way she talks, the guy could give Jesus a run for his money. He is “perfect in every single way”.
Gag.
And call me a bad sister, but even though I am over-the-moon happy for her, I just don’t want to witness it first-hand. I may be better, but I’m still human. And far from perfect.
“I can’t really afford a bus ticket right now, Alyse, but as soon as I get my first couple of paychecks under my belt, I promise I’ll come back for a weekend.” I didn’t own a car. I lived close enough to the train and bus stations that public transportation worked out just fine for me, so never saw the need to invest in a car. I didn’t even have a driver’s license, anyway.
When I moved here, Grant, the man who literally saved my life, thought it best to keep as low of a profile as possible, so no license and the lease agreement was in his name, along with my cell phone. Grant…God I miss you.
“Great. You can stay with us. Finn really wants to meet you. He keeps asking me when you’re coming.” I thought it was way too early, but they moved in together a couple of months ago.
“I’ll come as soon as I can, okay?”
“Thanks, Libs.” I smile at the nickname she’s had for me since we were kids.
We talk for a few minutes about mundane, irrelevant things before we hang up. I promised I would call her next week.
Deciding it was time to get my ass moving and be productive, I got up and threw on my workout clothes. Because I was so busy at work, I hadn’t had time to take advantage of the gym, but Addy had recently joined a gym a just a few blocks away and was able to get me a free six month pass, so I’d been enjoying running and taking some classes. I’d slept in too late for the spinning class this morning, but I’d enjoy a good run on the treadmill instead.
An hour later, I was sweaty and felt marginally better. I went about the rest of the day running errands and cleaning our small apartment, which didn’t take long. By 6:00 I had laundry done and put away, I had a cupboard stocked with my soup for the week and I was just settling down on the couch to watch Dirty Dancing when I heard the key rattle in the door.
“Hey, chicky,” Addy chirped. Striding through the door, her hands full of grocery bags, she slams it shut with her foot.
“Hey, Addy.” I take a spoonful of my hot chicken noodle soup and blow on it before shoveling it in my mouth. When she gets her groceries put away, she stands at the counter with a hand on one hip, just staring at me. “What?” I finally ask. I look down to see if I’d spilled something on me or if there was a spider crawl
ing on my leg like last week. Just thinking about it makes my heart pound.
Yeah, that wasn’t my finest moment. Even the smallest of spiders scare the shit of out of me. The glass of milk I had in my hand wound up dripping down my face, and I let out a scream so loud, we had Mrs. Ruffalo, the resident busybody, knocking on our door asking if everything was okay. We never did find that spider. I’d been on the lookout for it ever since.
“What the hell are you wearing?” Addy asked with a disgusting sneer on her face.
“Um, they’re called pajamas.”
“Yes, I know what they’re called. The question is…why is a twenty-eight-year-old single woman wearing pajamas at six o’clock on a Saturday night?”
“Addy…”
“Livia…” she replies mockingly. She comes over, takes the soup out of my hands, carries it back to the kitchen and dumps it down the drain.
“Hey!” I yell, jumping up from the couch, stalking after her. “That was my dinner!”
“That was an appetizer, for fuck’s sake, Livia. That wasn’t dinner. I’m taking you out to celebrate your new job. My treat.” She walks around me, but not before grabbing my hand and dragging me behind her down the hall to her bedroom.
“Addy, no. You don’t need to do that,” I argue. I hate feeling like a charity case that my friends think they need to take care of. And while I won’t be buying a brand new BMW anytime soon, with this new job, at least I shouldn’t have to feel like I constantly need a handout.
She stops ruffling through her closet long enough to shoot me a death glare. “I know I don’t have to. I want to. Besides, it’s really Kamryn’s treat. She’s meeting us at Finnegan’s for dinner at eight, and then we’re going to Firefly for some after-dinner drinks and dancing. If you’re lucky, maybe we’ll find you a nice, tatted bad boy to oil your lady bits. God knows they need it.”
“Addy, no.”
“Livia, yes. No arguments. Now go jump in the shower, slut up your makeup and put your hair in a sexy twist. And put on this hot little number.” She throws a royal blue scrap of fabric at me that’s supposed to be a dress, along with some strappy silver heels. I’ve seen this dress on Addy. It barely covers her ass, and hers is much smaller than mine. “Kam’s sending a car to pick us up at seven fifteen, so chop-chop.”
Fuck me. Really?
My friends don’t do this very often, but every once in a while they find it incumbent upon themselves to try to get me laid. They think I can’t find a man and that’s the farthest thing from the truth.
At five feet seven inches, I’m no skinny Minnie, but I’m in very good physical shape. I have curves and look like a woman should. My bright green eyes stand out against my fair skin, especially with my chocolate brown hair. I may not be runway model gorgeous, but I know I’m attractive enough to bed a man, should I choose to do so. I just don’t. Hell, my boss has hit on me enough this week, that if I went into his office, lifted my skirt and bent over his desk, he’d gladly fuck my brains out.
But there is only one man I want between my legs and I can’t have him. I simply can’t stomach the thought of anyone else there.
“Addy, I really don’t think I’m up to it.”
My best friend stops what she’s doing and looks at me pointedly. “Livia, I know things have been rough for you. I may not know who, what, or why, but I see your sorrow. Whatever happened in the past, you’re here now. You’re alive, you’re young, you’re beautiful, and you have a lot inside you to give. You need to live life, not be holed up in a shitty two-bedroom apartment eating chicken noodle soup for supper. And besides, I need this as much as you do.”
“I know,” I tell her quietly. “Fine. Okay. I’ll agree to dinner and dancing, but. Do. Not. Try. To. Hook. Me. Up. Understood?”
“Yeah, yeah,” she waived, turning back to her closet to pick out her own slutty attire.
I turn and stomp out of her room like a five-year old who was told she couldn’t have a cookie before dinner.
Ugh. What have I let my friends talk me into?
Chapter 7
The music is deafening, the dance floor is packed and I’ve already turned down two offers to take me home and one to “get nasty” in the bathroom. I’ve only been here an hour. It must be a full moon and mating season because the werewolves have clearly descended onto the unsuspecting humans.
Kamryn called ahead and reserved us a booth, so at least we have someplace to escape the throngs of people milling about, and for that I’m relieved.
Addy went to the bar to get some more drinks. Our waitress has been slammed tonight, complaining that someone just quit this morning and another called in sick. I feel bad for her. She’s working her ass off. I can relate.
My eyes roll as I see Addy approach our table with a tray of shot glasses filled to the brim with a clear liquid. Addy is a very beautiful woman, both inside and out, and as she makes her way back through the crowd to our table, I watch men watch her. At five feet eight inches, she’s only an inch taller than I am, but her legs go on for miles. The blood red dress she’s wearing tonight shows them off to the nines. Her mahogany hair and large, expressive hazel eyes round out a package that is every guy’s wet dream.
“Oh no,” I say, as Addy sets a hangover waiting to happen on the table. “I’ve already had one martini.” It was dirty and one hundred percent alcohol. My head is already swimming.
“Oh yes,” she quips. “It’s my mission to get you drunk tonight, Livia Kingsley. No excuses.”
“I’m half way there,” I complain.
“You’ve had one drink. Stop your whiny bitching and take a shot.”
Kam nudges me. “Come on, Liv. You deserve a fun night out.”
You know what? They’re right. I do. “What the hell,” I say, taking one of the tiny glasses. “What kind of poison did you bring me anyway?” My nose wrinkles when the fumes hit me.
“What else, babe? Tequila.”
“Ugh. Anything but tequila,” I whine.
“Breakfast of champions,” Addy laughs as she holds up her own glass. “To Livia. Congrats, babe. Things are finally looking up for you.”
“Here, here,” Kam adds before we unceremoniously shoot them back. My face scrunches when I suck on the sour lime. I hate tequila, and the only way I can take a shot of it is with training wheels. My friends know me so well.
“Addy, how are you doing?” I ask, concerned about my friend. Her boyfriend of over a year just broke it off with her recently and while she appears to be holding things together pretty well, she does the same thing I generally do. Hold the pain in and push it way down.
“Couldn’t be better,” she retorts. My brows rise in challenge. “Really. I’m better off without him. I don’t think he ever loved me anyway.”
I reach across the table, squeezing her hand. “That’s his loss then.”
“Damn straight it is.” I watch my friend take another shot, drowning the sorrow in mind-numbing liquid. I can relate all too well.
Two hours, three shots and two more dirty martinis later, I’m on the dance floor laughing and shaking my ass with my two best friends. Two hotties that look a lot like brothers saunter up behind Kam and Addy, who have now drifted away from me. Looks like maybe one of them will be getting their lady bits oiled instead of me.
My head feels numb and fuzzy, and I’m having a hard time focusing on any one thing in particular, so I shut my eyes and let my body instinctually take over, swaying to the booming rhythm. I’m so lost in the thrum of the bass as it beats through my body, that I don’t immediately register the strong hands that grip my hips from behind. But I do register the thick erection that’s now prodding my backside. And I feel the hot breath that’s tickling my neck. The music has now slowed to something sultry, and I open my eyes to see that the dance floor is even more packed, if possible.
Soft lips graze my bare flesh and, even though, my body is slick with sweat from the hours of dancing, it chills at this stranger’s touch. Dr. Howard’s wo
rds play through my head. “It’s alright to let yourself live again, Livia.” I should pull away, but I don’t. Maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s time I try living again. So I close my lids and lean my head back on his shoulder, moaning.
But instead of enjoying the moment with someone new, I imagine the hands tightly gripping my hips are Gray’s. I pretend the mouth nibbling my sensitive skin is his. I wish that the hand now sneaking around my stomach pulling me tighter as he grinds us to the slow beat of the music belonged to the man I still loved with my whole being.
“I want to fuck you,” a deep masculine voice whispers in my ear. And then he surprises me by brazenly cupping my mound and caressing my clit in full view of anyone who cares to watch. My borrowed dress is short, and with his hand where it is, I’m almost indecently exposed.
I meant to say no, but in my poison-induced fog, yes tumbled out of my mouth instead. If I keep my eyes closed the whole time, I can stay lost in my fantasy that it’s Gray who’s caressing me. That it’s Gray’s fingers that will make me come. That it’s Gray who will fill my empty body instead of this unknown man.
The stranger grabs my hand, dragging me quickly through the swarm of damp, grinding bodies to a darkened hallway on the other side of the club. Even with my heels, he’s several inches taller than me, with a broad build and short dark hair. His jeans mold his tight ass perfectly. He takes a turn down another hallway which offshoots to the left and is even darker than the one we’d just left. It seems like he knows where he’s going.
When we near the end, he pushes me back against the wall and plunders my mouth. He tastes like beer and tobacco. His hand snakes under the front of my dress, quickly finding my drenched core beneath my tiny black thong, but at the first brush of his fingers against my sex, my stomach rolls. I don’t want this. I can’t do this. I’ll never be able to do this with anyone but Gray.