by Kreig, K. L.
But Livvy is right. I haven’t been fair to Luke. I haven’t heard his side of the story. We can’t rebuild everything in a night, but we can start, if he’s willing. This is important to Livvy, so it’s important to me.
I swivel my barstool, so I’m facing him. “Thank you.”
Turning his head, he asks, “For?”
For bringing her back to me. For keeping me from making the single biggest mistake of my life by walking away. For everything. “For saving Livvy.”
He faces forward again, taking a large drink of his draft beer. He’s silent for so long, I don’t think he’s going to respond, and suddenly I’m not sure this fragile reunion will work. Maybe things are too damaged between us.
“I should have done more,” he finally quietly responds. Pain threads his voice and it hits me hard. Then he gives me a Reader’s Digest version of his story and now I know Livvy’s right. Luke may have started down the wrong path, but he wanted to turn around, go back. Turns out, I’m glad he didn’t, because he saved my future wife and mother of my children. It’s ironic how fate, or God, or whatever higher power you believe in, places people in and out of our lives at exactly the right time.
“I was out. I had worked out all the specifics and accompanying Peter on this pick up was my last job. I was done. Until we got there, I didn’t know what we were doing. Then I saw her. Livia. And I knew I couldn’t leave an innocent, vulnerable woman all alone in a house with Satan’s spawn and no protection. They would eat her alive. She’d be dead within a month. So I stayed and I plotted and I saved and I planned and I protected her as much as I could without drawing suspicion.” He takes another sip, pausing to gather his thoughts.
“It took me three long, agonizing years to get her out.”
“I thought she got out because that monster died?”
Luke turns his head, locking eyes with mine. They swirled with malice and hatred, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me. Eventually he said, “She did.” Only what I heard was, I killed him. For her.
Sitting quietly, we each finish our beers and order another. I reflect on his silent words, and how much someone has to love another person to kill for them. A fucking lot.
“Livvy’s pregnant.”
“I know,” he responds flatly.
“I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Yep. I’m marking. I need to make it clear that Livvy is mine. To everyone. Including my own flesh and blood.
“I know. I’m happy for you both. Truly.”
“I’m sorry, Luke. For...” I leave my sentence hanging, but we both know what I mean. I’m sorry for so goddamn much.
“I didn’t know about you, you know. Until recently.” I heard him swallow thickly and felt his heartbreak as if it were my own. I knew all about that suffering, and it tore me apart that my brother had to accept that he’ll never be able to have the woman he wants. “I tried not to fall in love with her. I knew she loved someone else, was engaged to someone else, and I knew I’d never be that guy. For years, I was insanely jealous of him, but knowing that it’s you…” His gaze pierces me, and I hang on every word to see how he finishes his sentence. “…almost makes it easier.”
He stands and takes a long chug before setting his half empty mug down. Grabbing my shoulder, he squeezes hard. “It’s always been you. You do deserve her, Gray.” Then he walks away, leaving me there to rehash every word we spoke, and those we didn’t.
Chapter 55
“Hey, do you have a minute?” Asher asks, knocking on the door. I look up from my mounds of paperwork to see the sheepish face of Gray’s younger brother standing in my doorway.
“Yes, sure.”
“Moving, huh?” He takes a couple of steps in, looking uncomfortable and I let him. It was a pretty shitty thing he did, having me fired when Gray didn’t even know about it, but to some degree I get it. He was protecting his brother and I’d hurt Gray terribly before. Asher doesn’t know the only way I’ll ever leave Gray again is through death. Gray and I agreed that outside of Luke, myself and him, no one would know the circumstances of why I had disappeared. At least not now, maybe not ever. It’s still too fresh, too painful.
“Today’s actually my last day. Just finishing up a couple of things.” I agreed to come back to work for Gray part-time just until I finished his little patent project, which we just wrapped up earlier this week. His new assistant, Georgia, started last week as well and I’ve spent the last few days training her. She’s nice, experienced and is about fifty with three grandchildren, so it’s a bonus that she’s not some young hottie who’s looking to get into my boyfriend’s pants.
“Look, Livia, I wanted to personally apologize. What I did was wrong and you need to know that Gray didn’t have anything to do with me delivering those severance papers. He just wanted you reassigned until he figured shit out. I took liberties I shouldn’t have and for that, I’m sorry.”
I study him for a couple seconds. “I understand, Asher.”
Sitting down, he continues. “I need to get something off my chest, if that’s alright.”
“Okay.” I brace myself for whatever he has to say.
“I love my family and I can’t watch Gray go through losing you again, Livia. It nearly killed him before.”
I look down and once again, guilt assails me. “I know,” I respond quietly.
“If you tell me you’re committed to him and you won’t abandon him again, I’ll believe you. I’ll work on trusting you again.”
I study Asher because somehow I feel like this is about more than just what happened between Gray and me. I feel like he has personal experience with this. I want to tell him about the baby, assure him that I’m not going anywhere, but we aren’t going to tell anyone about the pregnancy until after my doctor’s appointment tomorrow.
“I love Gray, Asher. I always have. I – I don’t blame you for not trusting that I won’t hurt him again. Hell, I’m sure I will, but you have my word I will never leave him.”
He nods. “Fair enough.” He rises to leave but stops before he walks out. “He was lost without you Livia.”
Tears sting and all I can do is stare, biting my lip to keep the waterworks from falling. While I love the fact that I’m pregnant, I hate most of the effects the hormones have on my body.
Some days I’m one big ball of tears and snot.
Ten minutes later, I’m packing up the last of the papers into the cardboard box when the love of my life walks in. “Hey, angel. Packing up?”
“Yep, just got finished. I’ll be walking Georgia through just a couple of things yet before I go, but she’s catching on fast so I don’t think I’ll need to come back.”
“Yes, she’s great, actually.” Walking around the desk, he pulls me to him. “Are you sure you won’t reconsider staying? I’ll miss not seeing your face every day.”
Reaching up, I peck him on the lips. “You’ll see me every day. It will give you incentive to get home to me faster at night.”
“Hmmm…true.” His mouth descends on mine and I’m instantly turned on. The one upside of the pregnancy hormones.
“I talked to our attorneys today about the patent. They’re vetting our options,” he whispers against my now kiss-swollen mouth.
“Good.”
Just two days ago I discovered that one of the developers just happened to be HMT’s former CFO’s brother-in-law and had known about the acquisition of HMT by GRASCO Holdings. A year ago when they found out the CEO was looking to sell, they secretly filed the patent without anyone else knowing. They thought they’d done a good job at erasing all the evidence, but a few instant messages turned up in the mounds of paperwork I reviewed. Just a few sentences led to their demise. Wes was innocent, but I was betting he’d be gone within six months anyway.
“I think I’ll have to find some more ‘special projects’ for you to work on. You did good, Livvy.”
“Thanks, babe. We still on to see your mother next weekend?”
“Yep. She’s going to go i
nto meltdown when she finds out you’re pregnant. You know that, right?”
I laugh. “Yes.”
“Two thirty tomorrow right?”
“Two thirty. Are you still able to come?”
He cups my cheeks. “Wild horses couldn’t keep me away from seeing my babies growing in your belly, Livvy.”
“Babies? You think I’m having twins?”
“No, I don’t think. I know.”
Chapter 56
“Livia Kingsley?” a female voice calls from the open doorway. We stand and, hand in hand, dutifully follow our guide to one of the exam rooms. The nurse hands Livvy a gown and instructs her to take everything off, making sure the ties of the thin garment are in the back.
After she leaves, I stand and cross the small room. When I grab the bottom of Livvy’s shirt and begin to drag it over her head, she asks breathlessly, “Gray, what are you doing?”
“Helping you disrobe.” Our eyes lock and her bright smile slays me, as it always does. Once I have her in her bra and panties, I make her turn and I unhook the lacy material that keeps her full breasts and sensitive nipples from my view. My fingers follow the path down her arms as I push it to the floor.
Protesting, but not very hard, she mutters, “She said I could keep my bra on.”
“It’s obstructing my view,” I breathe against her skin. I palm her round globes while I feather kisses along her shoulders and neck and she arches to give me better access. Her breathy moans make me want to unzip, bend her over the table and take her right here. I run my hands down her bare torso and slip my fingers under the waistband of her panties, which are now drenched with want and need. My name is a breathy entreaty, falling from her lips to my ears.
Kneeling, I palm her full cheeks before dragging her panties to the floor to join the rest of her clothes. I make sure my lips don’t miss an inch of her thighs and ass as I slowly stand. Grabbing the robe, I guide her arms through the sleeves and tie it closed.
After she’s seated on the exam table and thoroughly kissed, she quips, “That’s probably the most exciting exam prep I’ve ever had.” Her cheeks are flushed with desire and I’m hard as fucking stone.
Chuckling, I pull her close. Her arms circle my waist. We cling to each other, as we often do these days. “I wanted it to be memorable, angel.”
“Mission accomplished.”
For the past three weeks that we’ve been back together, other than work, we haven’t spent one single second apart. The floodwaters that had threatened to wash away our very happiness have receded. Every day our relationship grows stronger and feels more secure. Permanent. I love this woman more than life itself. She’s my everything.
The day after Livvy and I reconciled, I sent Addy a gift certificate for an all-expenses paid seven-day vacation to paradise for two. Maui. Extravagant? No. Not nearly enough for all of her help and faith, even when I didn’t deserve it.
There are things that happened to Livvy that are hard to swallow and accept. She’s opened up a little about her life, or lack thereof, with the fiend that kept her from me, and my soul aches for all that she’s suffered. We’ve wept together a lot at the loss of our baby. That was a tough day, and I’m still struggling to accept how very different our life would have been had all of this not happened.
Livvy was right when she said I was also a victim in this. We’ve both suffered untold losses, but our love is strong. It’s impenetrable and it’s everlasting. Livvy suggested counseling for me, for us, and she continues to see her therapist separately. I started therapy last week and I think maybe talking about what happened with a disinterested third party may help me put a lot of this shit at least into perspective. I’m not sure it will ever be behind me, or us, because it happened. It’s part of our lives and can’t be forgotten. The events of our past shape our future, the people we become and the lives we live, whether we want them to or not.
There are so many things in my past that I would change if I could. But the one constant would be to have met this vivacious, beautiful woman at Rocky’s Pizza in downtown Detroit on December 28, 2007.
My everything.
There’s a cursory knock on the door right before it opens, and whom I assume is Livvy’s doctor steps through. I release Livvy, move to her side, my hand palming her bare thigh.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Law.” We exchange pleasantries and she moves around the room, readying for her exam. Finally, she stops and smiles. “Well, are you two ready to see your baby?”
Because of the history of multiples in my family and Livvy’s severe morning sickness, they wanted her to come in at eight weeks for an ultrasound. The doctor takes what looks like a slim dildo, puts a condom on it, along with some gel and gently glides it between Livvy’s legs, which are now resting in stirrups.
I smile to myself because I am quite sure the gel is unnecessary. And I have to admit, I’ve never been more jealous of a piece of medical equipment than I am right now.
“You okay, angel?” I ask softly, squeezing her hand.
“Yes.”
We watch the monitor, anxiously waiting to see signs of life inside Livvy’s womb. Then suddenly I see them. Both of them. Two clearly separate sacks that will protect our babies while they grow. They don’t look like much of anything right now, but lima beans with budding hands and legs, but they couldn’t be any more perfect to me.
I feel Livvy shake and when I look down, she’s watching me watch the monitor, and water streams in rivulets down her face, into her hair. When she told me what that vile creature tried to do to her after he murdered our baby, I lost it. I have a hairline fracture in the top of my right hand from punching the wall. Now we’re staring at a miracle that I prayed with everything in me would happen every time I was inside of her, even though I had no idea at the time she didn’t think it ever could.
“Tell me you love me.”
“I love you,” she whispers.
I bring my lips to hers. “Not half as much as I love you, angel.”
I can honestly say that I’ve never been happier than I am at this very moment. I stare at Livvy, my best friend, my very soul, the mother of my children, and I know that after the heartache we have both endured, we’re right where we’re supposed to be.
With each other.
Epilogue
Two weeks later…
“Angel, it’s time to go.” Gray’s tugging on my hand before his mom stops us.
Gray and I came back to visit his mother for the weekend, in part because we wanted to tell her about the babies in person, but also because I’ve just missed her. When we told her, she spent all last night crying and hugging us. Then we thumbed through Gray’s baby book, which was the first time I’d seen it. There were a lot of pictures of Luke, which I thoroughly enjoyed seeing too. Barb Colloway has no shortage of pictures of her boys.
“Oh, hang on dear. Just one minute,” Barb says before rushing out of the room. Less than a minute later, she’s back with a package wrapped in pastel Congratulations paper.
“What’s this for?”
“For my firstborn’s firstborns.”
“Barb…” I look at Gray and he just shrugs his shoulders, smiling.
“Now, now. No tears. Go on, open it.”
Sitting, I slowly tear off the thin recycled paper and open the package to reveal two of the most beautiful light blue handmade quilted baby blankets that I’ve ever seen. Intricate diamond patterns decorate the thick fabric and the trim is silky blue a couple of shades darker than the threaded material. I notice a couple of darker spots on the cloth, which I initially think are stains, but I quickly realize is wetness from my tears.
“They’re beautiful, Barb. Where did you get these?”
“It was Gray’s from when he was young. My grandmother made a quilt for each of the boys one year for Christmas and I had it repurposed into baby blankets, so it could be passed down to the next generation.”
“But…we just told you yesterday. How…?”
She j
ust winked. “Mother’s intuition.”
I hug her and let my happiness freely flow. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“I’m glad you like them, dear.”
“I love them.”
I look up at Gray and I can hardly breathe with the love I feel for him. It’s surreal. I still have to pinch myself some days wondering if I’m lost in a dream or if this life I’m now living is actually real. If it’s a dream, I hope I never wake up. When he mouths I love you, I can’t get help but go to him, wrapping myself in his embrace.
“Ready?”
“Do we have to go, Gray? Can’t we stay here?” I ask softly. For some reason he’s insistent we go out to dinner, even though we came home to see his mother.
“It’s okay, Livia. You two go and have fun. I have plans anyway,” Barb says, winked.
“Okay. Only if you’re sure.”
“Pshaw. You two have a good time. If I’m not here when you get home, I won’t be late.” I give her a quick kiss and hug and then we’re on our way.
We’re silent in the car, but it’s a good silent. Gray’s hand is threaded through my own and I’m replaying these last few weeks slowly, unable to help the smile that spreads.
“Have you talked to Asher?” I ask. He’s still holding a grudge against Asher for firing me. I’ve been trying to convince him to let it go. Asher was just doing what family does. Protecting each other.
“Yes. We’re cool.” He picks up our entwined hands, kissing mine.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask.
His smile is blinding. “I’m thinking about how happy I am.”
“Me too.” Happy…and horny. I lean over the console, licking a path up his neck to his ear and grab his hardening cock, giving it a little squeeze. “Screw dinner. Take me somewhere and fuck me,” I whisper against the shell of his ear.