Jessica and Lucy looked at one another and smiled.
“Of course it’s a big deal and of course we want to be there. Are you kidding?” Lucy said.
“I think it sounds great,” said Jessica.
I’d already been assured by Zara and Maxine that they’d be there along with Braden. Including Annie and Taylor, I’d have a quite the little cheering section.
I turned toward Zara. “Sorry, so in answer to your question, rehearsal with the band yesterday was amazing. I’m feeling really good about our song list and I’ve almost got all the lyrics down—but that’s not really my big news.”
“What’s up, Nicole?” Maxine knew me well, and I had the feeling that she could sense it had to do with Joe. Most of my news these days had to do with Joe, it seemed.
“So after rehearsal I met Joe for dinner—and—and we broke up.”
I didn’t even cry while I told them. Not one tear.
Zara came to a full stop where she was just ahead of us a few steps on the path and turned around to look at me. “Seriously? Over your gig?”
“Well, let’s be honest—yeah, I’m finally being honest with myself about who Joe is—this gig is only a fraction of what seems to be broken in our relationship, and I guess he didn’t really break up with me.” We’d all moved off the path to let other people pass by. “But he gave me an ultimatum regarding Saturday night—I’m just not cool with that or how he was speaking to me last night, so it’s over. Done. No looking back.”
Maxine leaned in to give me a hug. “I’m so sorry Nicole. That sucks.”
“You know what? I’m sure that for whatever reason, it’s not fully hitting me right now, but I know deep in my heart that this is for the best.”
“Well, for one thing, you certainly have enough to think about today with the show coming up and all. But for another, I’m really proud of you—for how you’re handling all this.” Zara came over to give me a hug too, and the other woman nodded their heads in agreement.
“You know, it’s taken me a while for sure, but I finally believe—I mean, really believe—that I’m worth more than the way Joe’s been treating me, especially with everything that’s happened recently. For once in a very long time, I wanna focus on me and my goals, and it sure would seem that Joe is a hindrance to all that, rather than anything supportive or positive in my life.
Jessica came beside me to link her arm in mine. “That’s what you have us for. Consider us your support team, and tonight we’re gonna be cheering you on as the founders of your first fan club.”
I laughed and we set off down the path again. I could already see that moving on from Joe was clearly what needed to happen. I’d thought I needed him for support—support that I was never truly getting from him anyway—but I had my girls for that. And the genuine support of my friends meant everything to me right now.
Chapter 24
I closed my eyes and let every emotion I’d been feeling the past few days enter into my voice and the lyrics of our final song for the night. It was a ballad that Kaz had written and one of my favorite songs of any that I’d sung with the band. I opened my eyes to the full crowd in the small club, many of them on their feet—moving in time to our music.
The night felt like magic to me—it was the memory of so many years before, only that much sweeter for the experiences I’d had and the new passion that I had for performing. I’d been able to get a big table up front by the stage for my friends, and whenever I looked over at them, I felt truly grateful for the support that I did have in my life. It was strange to me that Joe didn’t want to be that for me after everything we’d been through—after all the support that I’d given him over the years—but I knew that I’d be okay.
I saw Taylor talking to Braden, and the two seemed to really be hitting it off. When I’d introduced him and Annie to rest of the gang, both Zara and Maxine had given me a certain look. They were well aware of the slight flirtation between Taylor and me—I’d filled them in knowing full well that they’d be eyeing him up as a potential match for me tonight.
Of course, I wasn’t thinking about relationships or even dating someone new—it would take time for me to be ready for that, and it would take a lot of things to happen for Taylor and me to even consider dating, but I guess that my being single was certainly a first step in that direction. And I loved it that he seemed to be fitting in nicely with my friends.
I also loved the way that I’d seen him looking at me tonight while I sang. He had a huge grin on his face and I got the impression that he was fully enjoying himself—enjoying our music and my voice. I knew that the next man that I’d be with would support me in my dreams for my music, just as I’d support him with whatever his dreams were. And I also knew that most likely that next person was not going to be the manager where I worked. For now, though, I could enjoy the attraction that I felt without feelings of guilt.
We finished our final song and when I came out to join my friends, the small crowd in the club cheered again. I felt my face growing warm as I went over to receive hugs from Zara and the rest of my friends. Taylor made his way over to me and I could feel my heart beating—I felt almost more nervous than I had before I’d started singing earlier tonight. The thought made me laugh.
“So that was pretty amazing—you were amazing.” Taylor was looking at me intently and our faces were close enough that I almost had to restrain myself from leaning over to kiss his cheek—it felt that natural having him there, for some reason.
“Thank you. And thanks for coming. I really do appreciate it.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it. Not for anything.” His smile was really so endearing. “And I also really like your friends. Braden was giving me some training tips and he invited me to come to the gym one day next week.”
I laughed. Braden’s love for the gym was hard for us non-gym types to understand, but he never pushed anything to do with weight loss or fitness on me or on any of Zara’s “less than physically fit” friends. We all really appreciated that about him. But if you were interested, Braden was definitely the guy to go to.
We stayed at the club, talking and drinking until closing time. Kaz and the band had joined our little group, making it quite the party for several hours. Several people had come over to us throughout the night, telling us how much they’d liked the music. I could tell that Kaz was more than pleased with how the performance had gone and I couldn’t wait to talk about it later with him—and to tell him and the guys that I’d be so happy to join them officially. I’d wait until we got together next week for that.
As I sat in the cab on the way home, I had no regrets for the choice that I’d made—a choice that brought with it both loss and great gain. I’d lost someone who I’d thought was the love of my life, but I’d reawakened a new passion. Deep inside I knew that I was finally on the right path—on my path.
Chapter 25
All day Sunday, I let myself relax. I was still basking in the afterglow of our performance and everything it had meant to me. Oddly enough, I’d hardly even thought about Joe, until his texts and phone calls started coming in. He was sorry. He was wrong. He couldn’t live without me. He wanted to know how my gig went—and on and on.
Even though I was considering talking to him—I did want to hear how their show had gone—I knew that something big had shifted within me and I’d not take him back. I couldn’t forget the look in his eyes or the way he’d talked to me at the restaurant. It wasn’t the look or the words of a man in love with me. And a big part of my love for him had died that day.
But I did text him back to let him know that I’d speak to him in a few days—that I needed some time and would appreciate it if he could respect that.
When my phone rang Monday morning, I almost didn’t pick up, thinking it would be Joe calling again. Something prompted me to actually look at the caller ID though, and when it was a number I didn’t recognize, I decided to answer it for some reason.
“Hello.”
; “Hi, may I speak to Nicole please?”
“This is Nicole.”
“Hi, my name is Jason Dixon. I got your contact information from the club where you sang the other night. I hope you don’t mind.”
Weird stalker type?
“That depends, I guess—on why you are calling.” I laughed.
The man on the other end of the line laughed too, and I decided right then that he wasn’t a weirdo.
“I represent one of the bigger record labels in L.A. I was in town for a few days and my buddy, who’s the club owner, called me to come see you after he heard you guys start playing the other night. He thought you were something special and after hearing you myself, I agree with him.”
“Wow. Thank you. That’s very nice of you to say.” My heart was beating fast. What was happening right now?
“So, I won’t beat around the bush as to why I’m calling. And of course, I’ll preface this by saying that it assumes you have an interest.”
“Okay. Go on.”
My curiosity was more than piqued.
“We’d love to fly you to L.A—maybe get you in the studio a little bit so that we can get a better idea of your sound. My buddy told me that he knew you were pretty new to the scene, so I’m assuming you don’t have a demo recorded?”
Speak, Nicole.
I was totally shocked by this phone conversation. “I—I—wow, I don’t know what to say. You’re right. I’ve just started back with the music scene after being away from it for several years, but even back then, I hadn’t gotten to the point of recording a demo or anything.”
“To be honest with you, Nicole, we wanna swoop you up—before anyone else gets a chance to hear you.” He laughed again and I decided that for some reason I trusted what he was telling me.
“Okay, well…this all sounds very interesting to me. Can you give me an idea of what you’re thinking of in terms of dates? I’ll have to shift some things. I do have a job; and the band—well, the band is new to me too.”
What about Kaz and the band?
“Sure, yeah. And I understand if you need a few days to think about all this, but don’t wait too long, Nicole. I’m asking you to trust me—I know you don’t have a reason to yet—but I’m one of the good guys. I’m really gonna look out for you in all this.”
I could sense his smile through his words and I did believe him.
“So, it would be great if you could come out next week—maybe for a week or ten days. I’ll set everything up for you—a place to stay and all the people that you’ll need to meet with including a great agent that I know. This all assumes that the other guys at the label love you, but I know that they’re going to.”
“What about the rest of the band? I’ve only just started with them, but this all seems so sudden.”
I hadn’t even officially started with them, so maybe Kaz would understand?
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Unfortunately the band really doesn’t factor into it for us. It’s you that we’re interested in.”
“Okay. Well I’ll have to think about all this.”
Did I really?
I felt like I needed to pinch myself. But I would need to talk to Kaz.
“You do that, Nicole, and call me back. I really hope that you’ll take us up on our offer. I do believe it could be life-changing in terms of your career.”
I got Jason’s contact details and nearly gasped into the phone when he told me the name of the record label he’d been referring to. If everything checked out and this man was who he said he was, I knew that it was an opportunity of a lifetime.
I tried to calm myself as I got ready for work. I needed to have a normal sort of day today and then I’d go back to dreaming about the idea of flying to Los Angeles.
Rocker Princess indeed! Things certainly did look to be changing in my life.
I was ready for it!
Chapter 26
I could hardly contain my excitement as I waited for Zara to answer her door. We were meeting at her place this morning for our session. I’d not said a word to anyone about the call I’d gotten yesterday. Lately, I’d been trying to give myself more time to process things as they were happening to me, rather than automatically looking for the first person to share with or vent to. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust my friends in terms of sharing my news with them. I was just trying to do a better job of embracing my own feelings about the decisions I was making. I guess one could say that I was learning to trust myself more. I smiled thinking about that, because it was certainly a huge step in the progress that I’d made over the past month or so, working with Zara.
The door opened.
“There she is. Hiya, rock star.”
Braden leaned over to kiss me on the cheek as we both laughed.
“Give it time,” I said in response, winking as he looked at me.
I knew that there just could be a little more truth to his silly statement than he realized.
“Well, that sure sounds positive. Come in. Zara’s in the kitchen, getting some coffee together, I think. I’m just headed to the gym. Nice to see you, Nicole, and thanks again for inviting us the other night. It was a great time—oh, and for the record—both Zara and I like Taylor.” He laughed and then shut the door before I could respond.
I made my way toward the kitchen just as Zara came out with our coffees.
“Let’s go back to the office.”
We settled into our favorite spots—me on her comfy sofa and her in the big armchair across from me.
I didn’t wait for her to ask me any questions.
“So, I have the craziest news to tell you.”
I could hardly contain my excitement and I was sure that it had to be apparent.
Zara settled back into her chair and grinned widely at me. “Well, do tell.”
“Yesterday I got a phone call from a guy who works for a big L.A. record studio. He heard me sing the other night and, Zara—they’re interested in me. As in, really interested.”
“Wow, Nicole. That’s fantastic. Tell me everything.”
We spent the next thirty minutes talking about the specifics of my phone conversation and also what my plans were. I had decided that I would go to L.A., and I’d made the other big decision to give notice at work. I wasn’t only counting on a record deal—I wasn’t that naive in that I knew that it was far from a done deal at this point—but I did have some savings, and I was ready to make a commitment to my music for the time being.
“So, I guess I’m going to talk to Taylor about my notice this week as well. I do have some vacation, so I’m hoping either they’ll let me make it effective immediately or else I’ll just need to go to L.A. regardless. I don’t want to keep the record guys waiting now that the wheels are in motion. When I called him back, he told me just to name the date and then they’d get everything booked.”
Zara was beaming—it was the only way to describe the look on her face. She looked like a proud parent whose kid had just done something fantastic.
“Nicole. I’m so happy for you. And also so amazed at what you’ve done, even in the past few weeks. It’s really incredible, don’t you think?”
“Yes. And of course, I couldn’t have done it without you—your coaching and also your friendship.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I always knew that you were a strong woman—much stronger than you thought, at least back when I first met you. And now—just wow. You’re gonna be a big deal, Nicole. I can just feel it with every ounce of my being.”
I couldn’t stop grinning back at her. I wasn’t sure about how far things would go, but I did feel confident in my talent now. Thank God, I’d come back to my music. It really had changed everything.
She continued, “Okay, so I gotta ask.”
“Yes? Ask away.”
“What’s going on with you and Joe? Have you talked to him?”
“No, we’ve not talked but he has been texting me and leaving voice mails. Well, he was until I asked him to stop. That was on Sund
ay. But I’m going to see him tomorrow. I’m not working and I said he could come over in the afternoon.”
“So how are you feeling about that?”
I was sure there were a lot of other questions on Zara’s mind. She was doing a great job of trying to remain neutral.
“Ya know, I’m feeling good actually. I don’t want him back—not at all. I know now that it’s over. So really this is only about closure. Definitely for me, but maybe for him too. Ultimately, I’d hate to think that we couldn’t be amicable and maybe some time down the road even actually be friends. Who knows, right? It would just be nice after four years together if we could end it without hating one another. I don’t want that for me or for him. Does that make sense?”
Zara was nodding her head. “Yes, that makes perfect sense to me.”
I grinned back at her. For the first time in a long time, I felt like my life was finally starting to make perfect sense.
Chapter 27
Joe was looking at me without speaking. He wasn’t yelling, but he wasn’t reacting at all, so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. He looked a bit stunned about the latest news I’d just given him—that I was going to L.A. next week.
“Wow, Nic. That’s really great. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. It’s nice to hear you say that. I’ve been wondering how you’d react to it.”
“Well, I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t surprised.” He looked over at me and quickly continued. “I mean, not that I’m surprised about your talent, but just that something happened so quickly. I really hope it works out for you.” He slid closer to me on the couch and reached for my hand, but I pulled it away and got up to sit in the chair across from him.
“Nicole. Don’t be like that. I’d like to be there for you. It’s something we should be celebrating together.”
Right. And I don’t believe you.
“Look, Joe. I don’t wanna string you along here. I invited you over because I just wanted us to have one final conversation—hopefully without yelling and screaming, and so far that part seems to be going well.”
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