Season of Wonder

by RaeAnne Thayne

  She had married Tommy. That fact was indisputable. She had been married to him for almost six years, together almost eight, though he had been in prison for more than half of that time. They had created two amazing daughters together.

  No matter how she tried to excuse it in her own head by telling herself she was too young to know better, by comforting herself with the reminder that she had divorced him as soon as she realized he wasn’t going to change, a grim fact remained.

  She had once loved a man capable of terrible things.

  “You and the girls are not responsible for what Tommy DeLuca might have done,” Ruben said again.

  “That’s easy to say. You’ve never had people fire you from a job when they find out your husband was in prison. Or mothers in your apartment building not allow their children to play with yours. That was only when his crimes involved robbery. This is so much worse. He killed three people. Of course people will judge me and the girls for that. I don’t sleep at night, worried if the next day will be the day someone figures it out and tells the...the world.”

  Her voice wobbled a bit on the last sentence, much to her chagrin. Ruben stepped closer, his expression intense.

  “Small-minded people might want to tarnish you with the same brush. It’s a natural hazard of living in a small town that one of the favorite pastimes is talking about your neighbors. I can’t promise you or the girls won’t ever face hurtful gossip, but I can promise it won’t come from anybody you need in your life. No one should ever blame you or Silver or Mia for what their father did. My family won’t. I certainly don’t. Come here.”

  Before she realized what he intended, he pulled her into his arms, tugging her against his chest. She wouldn’t let herself cry again, but thick, heavy emotions clogged her throat.

  He was such a good man, kind and warm and generous. If everyone in Haven Point were like Ruben and his family, she would have no worries about telling people about her past. Some were, she knew. She had met other kind people here and wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt.

  She was afraid. She knew it and was ashamed of it but couldn’t seem to help it. She had spent so many years in foster care trying to be perfect that she was afraid to show people her imperfections, real and perceived.

  What about those who could only see her ex-husband’s crimes when they looked at her? She didn’t want her girls to carry that stigma.

  She let him hold her for a long moment, knowing this would be the last time she could allow it. His heat seeped through her coat and his arms enfolded her in strength and comfort.

  How she wished things could be different, that she had made other choices at seventeen and didn’t have this dark cloud hanging over her now because of those decisions.

  “Ruben,” she began, but whatever she intended to say was lost when he leaned down and silenced her with his mouth pressed against hers.

  She should have immediately pulled away but she didn’t have the strength. How could she possibly resist the temptation to kiss him one more time?

  The boat rocked softly on the waves, pushing her toward him then away again, and she could hear the distant sound of other boats. Some part of her knew they needed to be heading back to Haven Point so she could find her children at the festival.

  She pushed the knowledge aside for now. She could have this moment, couldn’t she? A tiny slice of time to kiss this man who made her feel things she thought she had put away forever.

  He deepened the kiss and she pressed herself against him, lost in the delicious sensations that pushed away the darkness.

  They could make love, out here on the water.

  The thought tangled her breath and left her light-headed.

  There was a bed in the berth down below. She had seen it when she checked on Silver earlier. They could go below while the waves rocked the boat and she could be with him fully, as everything inside her ached for.

  And then what?

  They couldn’t be together beyond this moment. It would be hard enough to push him away, as she knew she must. She couldn’t make things harder on either of them by deepening their intimacy.

  She closed her eyes, hating what she had to do but aware she had no choice. She wrenched her mouth away, though it was just about the hardest thing she’d ever done.

  “Stop. Please, Ruben. Stop. We can’t do this.”

  “Why not?”

  “I told you. I make terrible decisions where men are concerned. Now you know just how terrible those decisions are. I can’t drag you into my mess.”

  “I’m in it, like it or not. I care about you, Dani. I’d like to see where this goes between us.”

  She closed her eyes. “You have to be realistic here. Put away those glasses and look at me. What would the sheriff or others in the department think if they found out you were seeing a woman whose ex-husband had killed two of your own?”

  That seemed to soak in. He let out a heavy breath and straightened. “I hope they would be smart enough to know you can’t be held responsible for the actions of someone who hasn’t been part of your life for years.”

  “What if they don’t see it that way?”

  He gazed at her. “You’re really going to let this come between us?”

  “There is no us, except for a few kisses.” Her hands were shaking and she folded them together, her heart aching. “That’s all we have. All we’ll ever have.”

  “Why? Because you made a mistake once and gave your heart to the wrong man?”

  When she didn’t answer, he reached for her hand, trapping her fingers before she could pull them away.

  “Would it make a difference if I tell you I’m falling in love with you?”

  His low words burst through her like Roman candles trailing a shower of sparks. She wanted to reach for them and hold on tight, to tuck them against her where she could treasure them forever.

  Reality splashed over her just seconds later as if someone had doused her with that cold lake water.

  “You’re attracted to me. You’re not in love with me.”

  “I’m thirty-three years old, Daniela. I’ve been attracted to plenty of women. I’ve never been in love with a single one of them, until now.”

  She wanted to believe him, to throw herself back into his arms right here on The Wonder and stay forever.

  She couldn’t do it. She didn’t dare take the chance.

  She never should have kissed him that first night. She had somehow known this man had the potential to break her heart—not because of anything he did but because she didn’t have the strength or courage to reach for the future they might have together.

  She swallowed, hating herself all over again. “I’m flattered, believe me, but I...I’m not interested in a relationship,” she lied. “Not with you and not with any man. You’ve been very kind to me and my daughters and I’m so grateful but...it has to end. I thought we could be friends but I can’t see how that’s possible. Not with this...this heat between us that we can never act upon.”

  “It’s more than attraction and you damn well know it.”

  “I can’t, Ruben. I’m sorry. Can you just take me back to Haven Point now? I need to find my daughters.”

  He gazed at her for a long moment. She couldn’t see his expression through the dim light but she could feel the tension radiating off him.

  She wanted to tell him she was sorry, that she didn’t mean any of it. She wanted to step back into his arms and kiss him again until nothing else mattered. Instead, she forced herself to move away from him, to the other seat on the boat.

  He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again and started up the boat, pulled up the anchor and headed back to Haven Point in silence.

  * * *

  Ruben usually enjoyed his regular visits to Haven Point Middle School, but he wasn’t looking forward to this one.

/>   If he could have passed the emergency call off to someone else, he would have, but he was the school’s liaison with the sheriff’s department. It was his responsibility.

  With only one more school day before Christmas vacation after this one, the anticipation at the school was as noticeable as the smell of corn dogs coming from the cafeteria. A big Christmas tree dominated the entryway, paper chain garlands were draped around the interior doorways and white paper snowflakes dangled from the ceilings.

  He must have just missed the bell going off between classes, since the halls were clogged with students laughing, looking at their phones, shoving each other.

  He saw at least a dozen Santa hats and as many ugly Christmas sweaters.

  As he made his way to the office, he waved at several students he knew and fist-bumped a couple more. He was just about to push open one of the double glass doors into the office when Silver Capelli walked past.

  “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Hey, Ruben.” She actually smiled at him, which he considered amazing progress, considering where they had been a few weeks earlier.

  He let the office door close again and moved out of the way of people going in and out so he could talk to her. “How’s it going?”

  “Pretty good. School is almost out for Christmas break. Only three periods and one day left, then we’re off for two weeks.”

  He remembered that jubilation leading into a long break from school. Nothing else compared to it. How did grown-ups lose that excitement somewhere along the way?

  Ruben looked around to make sure no one else was in earshot. “And only five more nights of our little project. How’s that been going?”

  She gave the same furtive scan of the area before shifting her gaze back to him. “Pretty good. I haven’t been caught yet, if that’s what you’re asking. Mia and I are pretty sneaky.”

  Ruben had been shut out of his own Secret Santa deliveries a few days earlier, though he wasn’t sure if the reason had more to do with his schedule becoming more chaotic leading up to the holidays or because Dani was purposely avoiding him.

  He only knew that earlier in the week he had to work a late shift to cover for another deputy and asked if Silver could handle the delivery without him. Dani had suggested he leave all the gifts at their house so they could make the deliveries when it was convenient for her family’s schedule, instead of his.

  He couldn’t manage to come up with a good argument. She was right, his work shifts had become crazy.

  It made sense to hand it over to her and her girls. At least this way, the secret gifts his mother had prepared didn’t all have to be delivered in the middle of the night when he was done with work.

  Despite the logic, he couldn’t help feeling excluded.

  “Good job,” he said to Silver. “My schedule should be a little more regular from now until Christmas Eve. Do you want me to take over now? I can probably handle the rest.”

  “No. I’ve got it,” she said. “Mia would be heartbroken if we couldn’t finish out the whole twelve days. She gets a real kick out of it.”

  He had a feeling Mia wasn’t the only one. “Well, let me know if you change your mind. I can take a night or two.”

  “I think we’re good. I need to get to my English class before the tardy bell rings. I’ll see you later, Ruben.” She flashed him a quick smile. “Merry Christmas.”

  “Bye.”

  He watched her meet up with a couple of girls and start walking down the hall. She seemed to be talking and laughing with them, a far cry from the sullen girl she had been a few weeks earlier.

  She had her mother’s smile. He hadn’t noticed it before, but now it made his heart ache.

  He now knew what it felt like to bang his head against a wall again and again.

  While her daughter was becoming friendlier and more comfortable around him, Dani had moved in the opposite direction. After their night on his boat during the Lights on the Lake Festival almost a week earlier, she had gone out of her way to avoid him. The warm, caring woman he had come to know over the past few weeks had once more become prickly and unapproachable.

  He sighed. His life had seemed uncomplicated a few weeks ago. Now he was so tangled up over Dr. Daniela Capelli, he wasn’t sleeping well, he was short-tempered, and he seemed to have lost any anticipation and joy for the upcoming holidays.

  “Ruben. There you are.”

  The assistant principal at the middle school marched toward him, his features tight and his belly hanging over his belt.

  Todd Andrews was around Ruben’s age and they went to school together. Ruben remembered him as a sanctimonious jerk even in elementary school, when Todd used to volunteer every week to be the hall monitor so he could write up infractions committed by anybody he didn’t like.

  As far as Ruben was concerned, he hadn’t changed much. If anything, a little power had made things worse.

  “Hey, Todd,” he said casually.

  “I called in a report nearly forty minutes ago. What took you so long?”

  The temper that seemed on a knife’s edge these days threatened to flare. He had been working sixteen-hour days all week and was deep in the middle of an ugly domestic abuse case that was particularly heartbreaking this time of year. Not to mention that the middle school was a fifteen-minute drive from Shelter Springs in good weather and right now a storm was slowing traffic.

  Apparently when the assistant principal of the middle school called, Ruben was supposed to speed over with his lights and siren blaring.

  “Things are a little hectic this close to the holidays, Todd. I was on another call. What’s going on? The dispatcher said you wanted to report another theft.”

  The middle school had been experiencing a rash of thefts, with the PE lockers being particularly hard hit since students often didn’t bother to lock up their belongings.

  “This is a little more than a missing cell phone! We have a serious situation. Maybe I need to speak to Sheriff Bailey.”

  “You could do that,” Ruben said slowly, “but since I’m the department liaison to the middle and high schools in Haven Point, I’m afraid he would only pass your call on to me. You might as well start where you’re going to end up. With me.”

  They had been over the subject of protocol and lines of authority before. It didn’t seem to make any difference. Todd had always disliked Ruben and seemed to think going over his head to Marshall—someone he also disliked—would somehow solve all his problems.

  “Since I’m here,” Ruben said, “you might as well tell me what’s going on, then I can consult with Sheriff Bailey.”

  He could tell by the other man’s pursed lips that Todd didn’t particularly like that idea. Too bad. Ruben had more important things to worry about than the man’s ego. He was here to do his job.

  Todd glowered. “I can’t stress enough the gravity of this matter. The spirit club has been raising money to send to victims of the latest hurricane. We keep a jar in the office and people have been dropping off their extra change all month, until they had collected more than $250 in donations.”

  “That’s impressive. Good for the spirit club.”

  “I would agree, except right after third hour, the whole jar disappeared. It was here before that, then it was gone. I thought perhaps a member of the spirit club leadership might have taken it to count the donations, since their fund-raising campaign ends today. They’re supposed to talk to me first before handling the jar but students don’t always follow procedure.”

  Much to Todd’s dismay, Ruben was certain.

  “I’m assuming you checked with them all.”

  “Of course I checked with them all! I called each one out of class and they assured me they hadn’t seen the jar. Someone took it. Someone unauthorized. You need to move fast. I would suggest you put the whole school on lockdown until you find the culprit.”

 
Ruben gave an inward groan. He couldn’t put the whole school on lockdown over a missing jar of change. The very idea was ridiculous.

  “Let’s hold off on that while I ask a few questions first,” he said. “Do you have any suspects?”

  “I have four hundred suspects. They’re called students.”

  Yeah. This was the reason he didn’t like the guy. Todd always saw the bad in people, which Ruben considered a lousy character trait when it came to dealing with middle school students.

  “Any chance you could narrow that down a little? You have security cameras in here, don’t you?”

  The other man’s lips thinned further. “We do, but unfortunately they’ve been malfunctioning since last week and we haven’t been able to get the district IT person in to take a look. Principal Garcia tried to call before she left town earlier this week and couldn’t get anyone. Everybody seems to be backed up this time of year. Believe me, if the cameras were functional, I would have looked there first before involving the sheriff’s department.”

  Ruben found this disheartening on several levels, especially the part about the principal being gone. Vicki Garcia was far more reasonable, with a kind heart and bucketloads of patience.

  “That’s too bad. I was hoping for an easier resolution.”

  “We need to search everyone. If you won’t authorize a full lockdown, I think we should at least start a locker-by-locker search until we find the missing jar. It’s a little big for students to hide under their shirts.”

  Ruben could think of several problems with that suggestion. While the law was vague about whether students had any expectation of privacy or protection from law enforcement against searches on school property and the school district had its own rules, the sheriff’s department policy was clear. Without a warrant—or in this case, four hundred warrants—he could only search school lockers if he had strong and compelling evidence of wrongdoing.

  Not only that, most of the students he knew kept all their belongings in backpacks and carried everything from class to class. He suspected half of them didn’t even know their locker combinations.