Daughters of the Mersey

by Anne Baker

  Leonie turned to Steve, in agony. ‘Can’t you see she’ll never come back if we let her leave like this?’

  ‘It’ll do her no good to marry a man like that.’

  ‘Ralph isn’t all bad.’

  ‘She’s out of her mind.’

  ‘She’s in love. She’s seeing things differently. They’re going to get married anyway. What is the point of letting them go chasing up to Scotland? June only came out of hospital today, she can’t be feeling well.’

  ‘If it weren’t for that man, she’d be in prime health.’

  Leonie got to her feet slowly. ‘Steve, I’m going to overrule you and give my permission. I’d rather they married here and we all remain on friendly terms.’ She went out, closing the door quietly behind her.

  In June’s bedroom, she found Ralph and Milo sitting on Amy’s bed, while June was feverishly throwing clothes into an open suitcase.

  ‘I won’t let you leave like this,’ Leonie said, throwing her arms round her daughter. ‘I’ll give my permission for you to marry.’ She held June until her sobs died down.

  ‘Thank you, Mum. Ralph is everything to me, my whole life.’

  The next morning, Leonie was unpicking a backless red velvet evening gown to make a party dress for a twelve-year-old when she saw June bring Ralph into the shop. She’d known they intended to go to the register office to see if they could arrange a date and time for their wedding. ‘How did you get on?’ she asked.

  June was despondent. ‘I have to have Pa’s permission too,’ she faltered. ‘It has to be both parents not just one. What am I going to do?’

  Leonie felt exhausted, she wanted to scream, nothing was working out as she expected. It seemed one problem after another was being piled on her back, but if June was going to marry her boyfriend before he joined the army, the push would have to come from her. June had already tried and failed. ‘I’ll try and persuade him tonight,’ Leonie said quietly.

  She picked up her scissors and turned back to the evening gown. She was getting more and more jobs like this – making new clothes from old. Cloth was scarce, and the quality just wasn’t there, all fabric was stamped with the utility mark now. This was beautiful silk velvet with a luxurious pile, but it all had to lie in the same direction. She must get it right, the girl was big for twelve years and there was barely enough material to make the dress. She’d have to leave it for the moment, she couldn’t concentrate this morning.

  All day she tried to think of words that would persuade Steve to change his mind, but her head felt addled. June said she’d be eating out tonight, so at lunchtime Leonie used the temporary ration cards to buy three lamb chops for tonight’s supper, and because it was easier if she planned ahead, she bought some stewing steak for tomorrow.

  When she went home that evening, she found Milo had peeled some potatoes in readiness, bless him, and picked some spinach from the garden.

  ‘Pa had another go at June,’ he told her. ‘She went off in a huff. She said she won’t be in for supper tonight.’

  ‘She came to the shop and told me.’ Leonie sighed. ‘She wants me to talk to Pa tonight. Get him to change his mind.’

  ‘Not a hope,’ Milo predicted. ‘Once his mind’s made up, he never changes it. He’s more obstinate than a mule.’

  ‘I’ll have to try.’ Leonie didn’t know where she was going to find the energy. ‘Did you see any mint growing in the garden?’

  ‘Yes, I brought some in. Shall I make mint sauce?’

  ‘Please, that would be a help.’

  ‘Did you know Ralph has another car?’ Milo went on. ‘He says his insurance company arranged for him to use it until his own car is repaired.’ He chuckled. ‘He’s complaining it’s only a Morris twelve. Goodness knows how he manages to get petrol for it. I wish I could learn to drive. I’d love to have a car.’

  ‘Not a hope now,’ Leonie said. ‘Don’t you know there’s a war on?’

  ‘I had noticed.’ He smiled wryly. ‘Is there anything else to go on the table?’

  ‘Just that mint sauce. Will you find Pa and tell him we’re about ready?’ Leonie carried on dishing up and took the first two plates to the table.

  Milo came back with flushed cheeks. ‘He said to tell you to hold up supper for ten minutes. He’s listening to an interesting programme on the wireless.’

  ‘Oh!’ Leonie said. ‘I’d better light the oven to keep the plates warm.’ She needed Steve to be in a pliable mood when he came to the table.

  Milo stopped her. ‘I told him the meal would spoil if it was kept waiting,’ he said angrily. ‘I’ll fetch his plate in.’

  ‘Milo, you’ll upset him before I start to plead June’s case.’

  ‘Sit down Mum, let’s start without him.’

  Leonie no longer had the energy to fight anyone. She sank down and started to eat. Steve came to the table before they’d finished.

  ‘Oh, you’ve started without me.’ He was put out.

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘This is rather rude of you, Leonie. You’ve forgotten your manners. Nobody in this house shows respect for others any more.’ He glowered at his plate. ‘You haven’t been strict enough bringing these children up. June behaved disgracefully this morning. She’s totally out of control.’

  Leonie wanted to groan. She wasn’t going to stand a chance with him when he was in a mood like this, but she’d promised June she’d try. ‘About June . . .’

  ‘Don’t you start asking me to change my mind. I’m not going to give June my permission to marry and that’s final. She needs to grow up before she marries anyone. She’s behaving like a spoilt child.’

  Leonie put down her knife and fork. She should have known it was no good trying. She’d have to tell June it was hopeless.

  Milo asked, ‘Pa, are you going to eat that chop?’

  ‘No. I need peace and quiet to enjoy my food and I’m not hungry after all this. Anyway, one lamb chop is a very meagre meal and it’s gone cold.’ He pushed his plate away.

  Milo picked it up, slid the chop on to his own plate and quietly began to eat it. ‘It’s too good to waste,’ he said.

  Leonie took a deep, calming breath. ‘There’s some rhubarb crumble left from last night,’ she said. ‘But no custard.’

  Steve grunted impatiently. ‘I’ll have cheese and biscuits first.’

  ‘Sorry, there’s no cheese,’ Leonie said.

  He turned on her furiously. ‘Isn’t there anything else to eat in this house?’

  ‘There’s a couple of cream crackers and bread and jam.’

  He brought his fists down on the table with a thump, making the crockery jump. ‘This is ridiculous!’

  Milo had cleaned his plate again. He laid down his knife and fork and said cheekily, ‘Don’t you know about rationing, Pa? There’s a war on.’

  He sat up stiffly. ‘Don’t you dare speak to me like that!’

  ‘Well, I do dare. Somebody needs to tell you a few home truths. Pa, I realise you grew up in this house when there was a cook and a housekeeper to run it, but now there’s only Mum doing everything. And in addition she’s the one going out to earn the money that pays for everything while you sit around like a lord all day.’ He took a shuddering breath. ‘And you have the nerve to tell her to hold supper up because you’re interested in a wireless programme and must hear the end. You must be the most selfish person in the world.’ He glowered at his father. ‘I want you to know you’re an absolute shit of a husband. You let Mum wait on you hand and foot, you don’t appreciate what she does, you don’t even notice when she’s tired out.’

  Steve’s mouth sagged open in shock. ‘I won’t listen to any more of this. Go to your room.’

  Milo’s lips straightened into a hard line. ‘Oh, I haven’t finished, not by a long chalk. You’re a shit of a father too.’

  ‘Stop swearing at me! I won’t have it!’ Steve’s face was scarlet with rage.

  ‘Pa, believe me, you’d make a saint swear. You treat June
and me as though we’re still dependent on you for everything. You sit in your study reading newspapers all day, ordering your family about like slaves, but you take no responsibility for anything. Oh no, that’s another job for Mum. She has to sort out the problems you cause. June is pleading to get married but you refuse to give your permission. You have such set ideas—’

  ‘She’s still a child, for God’s sake!’ Steve was blustering. ‘Only eighteen. The man’s a rotter, she doesn’t know what she’s letting herself in for.’

  ‘Eighteen is considered old enough to fight for one’s country and die for it too,’ Milo said slowly. ‘I’ve seen lots of lads do it and I’ve come pretty close to doing it myself. June thinks eighteen is old enough to decide who she wants to marry.’

  ‘Well, I don’t.’

  Milo was on his feet. ‘Pa, you’ve made your opinion abundantly clear, but it is driving June away not only from you but from me and Mum too. You’re pushing June to do exactly what you say you’re trying to prevent.’ He was angry and couldn’t stop himself. ‘I really can’t understand why Mum stays here to be treated like this. I don’t think many women would. You think you have the power and the right to create havoc in our lives.’ Milo could feel sweat breaking out on his forehead but he wasn’t going to stop until he’d had his say. ‘No doubt it makes you feel important that you can, but you aren’t living in the real world any more. Things are changing. You’ve been left behind but you don’t think that matters. You’ve shut yourself off. You did your bit in the First World War and you think that’s all you’ll ever need to do.’

  Steve pushed his chair back so violently that it rocked on its feet and he set off towards his bedroom, moving more speedily than usual. ‘I need to lie down. I’m not staying to listen to any more of your ranting.’

  ‘I could do with a lie-down too.’ Milo raised his voice so that Steve would hear. ‘But the dishes need washing and the kitchen needs clearing up. I don’t feel I should rest while Mum does yet more work.’

  Leonie gasped. ‘Milo! You’ve gone too far this time.’

  ‘It’s high time somebody did. No, Mum, don’t you go after him to try and soothe him. It would be better to let him stew in his own juice for a bit.’ Milo began piling the plates together to carry them out to the kitchen. ‘Come on, let’s get the washing-up done and make some tea.’

  Leonie couldn’t believe how quickly the dishes were done when two of them worked together. Milo’s understanding of her situation had surprised her and it told her that the last thing she need worry about was Milo turning out like his father.

  ‘I’d have loved to train for a career at sea on the Conway,’ he said, ‘but Pa wouldn’t hear of it. He wanted me to work in the business. Now with the coming of war, neither of us got what we wanted,’ he ended with a gasp.

  When Leonie turned to look at him he was holding on to the draining board and doubling up with pain. ‘What is it?’ she said.

  ‘A touch of bellyache,’ he said through clenched teeth. ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have eaten Pa’s chop too.’

  ‘You’re tired.’

  ‘I’m spent.’ He smiled wearily. ‘Letting fly at Pa has taken the stuffing out of me.’

  ‘Dunkirk did that. It’s knocked you for six.’

  ‘I’m getting better. A few days pottering about here and I’ll get my strength back, but I’ll take my cup of tea to bed and have an early night.’

  ‘Yes, get into bed. You’ll feel better in the morning.’ Leonie was getting out cups and saucers for the tea.

  ‘Mum, why three cups?’ He put one back in the cupboard. ‘Pa can come to the kitchen and get his own if he wants it. You spoil him.’

  ‘He’ll be upset.’

  ‘I hope he is. Come on, bring your tea and sit by the fire in the living room. Give Pa time to calm down and think things over.’ Milo was recovering. In the living room he poked the fire into a blaze and put some more coal on.

  ‘Go easy,’ she said. ‘Coal is hard to get, there’s talk of it being rationed.’

  Milo patted her arm and said goodnight. Leonie drank her tea. She was afraid Milo was far from well. She stared into the dancing flames, glad to have a few minutes to herself to relax before bedtime.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  STEVE LAY ON HIS bed agonising over Milo’s outburst. It was a terrible feeling to know his children hated him. He’d seen that on June’s face and now on Milo’s. They despised him. He couldn’t get his breath when he recalled how Milo had told him to his face that he was a shit of a father. He would never have dared say such a thing to his own father. He’d probably have been whipped if he had.

  Steve lay back studying the cracks in the ceiling. He couldn’t get Milo’s face out of his mind, crimson cheeks with beads of sweat across his nose and his eyes burning with fury and hate. Milo loathed him.

  And June had been no better, she’d screamed at him like a fishwife. He’d always loved June. He was trying to protect her, it was for her own good. Neither of them understood how a father worried about them, tried to do his best for them always.

  He turned over angrily, he’d eaten nothing since that biscuit at teatime and he was hungry. Leonie would bring him something on a tray soon. Milo had no business to wolf down his chop like that. He’d only done it to shame him.

  He heard Leonie’s voice, then Milo’s. The kitchen door closed with a click, so they were going back to the living room. He thought of them sitting companionably by the fire – they got on very well together. But no, Milo was coming out again, ‘Goodnight,’ Milo said. He went to the bathroom and there was the sound of running water, so he must be going to bed.

  Surely Leonie wouldn’t forget that he’d had nothing to eat. Steve lifted his head from the pillow to listen but there was silence now, except for a ship hooting on the river.

  He let himself fall back, engulfed in resentment. Leonie didn’t love him any more, she’d made that clear before she’d borne her love child, but she’d never stopped looking after him. She must know he was hungry.

  Milo had said he was a shit of a husband too; Steve hated him for saying that, but perhaps he was right, he hadn’t been a good husband.

  An hour later, Leonie woke to find the fire had died back to a few glowing coals. She was cross with herself, what sense was there in sleeping by the fire? She pulled herself stiffly to her feet and made her way to bed.

  She opened her bedroom door quietly. All was dark within. In the light from the hall, she could just make out the curled-up mound that was Steve on his side of the bed. She hoped he was asleep. She crept to her bedside table and before switching on her lamp draped her cardigan over it to dim the light.

  She got undressed quickly and slid into bed. With the room in darkness she was settling down to sleep when she felt Steve turn over. He said in a penitent whisper, ‘I’ll give June my permission to marry. It’s pointless making them drive up to Gretna Green if they’re determined to do it.’

  Leonie was taken by surprise at his sudden change of mind. ‘It is,’ she agreed. ‘They’ll soon be parted and I think then it’ll be a comfort to her to be his wife. She’s afraid Ralph will be killed.’

  ‘Yes, I’m sorry.’ He sighed. ‘I’ve been a fool, haven’t I? My children loathe and hate me. I expect you do too.’

  She knew she had to deny that. ‘No, I don’t hate you, Steve, but you always make things more difficult than they need be.’

  ‘I know. Milo was right about that. Please don’t leave me.’ She heard the sob in his voice. ‘I’ll try to improve, do more to help in the house. Life has been hard for you, and I know I shouldn’t make it harder. I’ll get up with you in the morning and you must show me how to make the porridge.’

  Leonie pulled him into her arms. ‘That would be a great help,’ she whispered and for the first time for ages, Steve gave her a real kiss.

  The next day, when Leonie got home from work she found June and Ralph already there. ‘I’ve invited him to have supper with u
s,’ June said. ‘We want to tell you about the arrangements we are making for our wedding, and I want you and Pa to get to know Ralph.’

  ‘It’s stew,’ Leonie said, ‘but it’ll have to be small helpings.’

  ‘We’ve brought a bottle of sherry and a cake for afters,’ Ralph said.

  ‘We want a very quiet wedding, absolutely no fuss,’ June said. ‘Just the family at the register office, and Elaine has offered to lay on the wedding breakfast afterwards. Wear your best clothes, there’s no need to get anything new.’

  ‘Except for you,’ Leonie said. ‘There’s still time for me to make you a dress.’

  ‘No, Mum, I’ve decided to wear the blue wool, the last dress you made for me. That will be fine. Unfortunately, we have to give twenty-one days’ notice before we can be married, that’s the law, and by then I’ll be back at work. I’m hoping against hope I’ll be able to get the day off.’

  ‘What about you?’ Milo asked Ralph.

  ‘I’m back working in the bank now,’ he said. ‘We’ve chosen to be married on the Saturday because that makes it easier for me, but it means we won’t be able to have a honeymoon.’

  ‘Less to arrange,’ Milo smiled, ‘and less expense.’

  ‘I’m worried about Amy,’ June said. ‘What are we going to do about her?’

  ‘She’ll expect to be your bridesmaid.’

  ‘It’s not going to be that sort of a wedding,’ June said, ‘but she’s going to be mad at missing it.’

  ‘It wouldn’t be easy to get her here and back again.’ Leonie had already pondered the problem.

  ‘You’ve got a car,’ Milo said to Ralph. ‘Couldn’t you fetch her?’

  ‘We’ve talked about it,’ June said. ‘But it isn’t really on. Ralph has to go to work and he’d have to buy the petrol on the black market.’

  ‘Don’t forget we could have an air raid while she’s here,’ her mother reminded them. Bombing had started on Merseyside with small attacks at the end of July 1940. To start with, they had exploded harmlessly in open fields but the raids were gradually building up. One night the planes might drop bombs over Liverpool, damaging infrastructure like the overhead railway and the next night it could be the turn of Birkenhead or Wallasey. People were being killed and injured, and everybody had grown fearful of the air raids.