I touch my clapperboard pendant. As usual, I have it around my neck. It’s my pride and joy…and my connection to Dad.
Finally we’re at the entrance to the Oscars. Just inside is a life-size statue of the smaller version we all vie for. My heart beats a little faster. I smile at Mason.
Alice rushes toward us.
“Can you believe it?” she squeals and grabs my hands. “You look amazing, Sophie.”
“Thanks, Alice.” I give her a brief hug. “You look just gorgeous. That dress is you.”
Alice spins three hundred and sixty degrees. She is in a long black V-neck tight-fitting dress. Around her neck is a gold necklace with a glass sand-art heart pendant, her eighteenth birthday present from my family.
She’s also wearing the matching earrings. They complement the outfit perfectly.
“I’ll show you where we are sitting.” She leads the way. We walk past little groups of huddled people. The hubbub is amazing.
As usual the night starts with a quirky, interesting, funny, and slightly controversial opening.
I laugh loud at the jokes and the digs. I’m carried away in the moment. All too soon, the emcee starts introducing actors to read out nominations and winners.
I clap enthusiastically for the winners, and I feel for those who lose.
And then the big moment arrives.
Best male actor. The nominations are announced. Todd is one of them. I resist the urge to crane my neck and find him in the larger crowded room.
As each name is read out, there’s a little film clip of various scenes of their film on the oversized screen. My heart beats a little faster as I’m taken back to filming times…to happier times.
As the emcee opens the envelope, every muscle in my body tenses. I’m on the edge of my seat. For Todd’s sake, I hope he wins.
“Please let him win,” I mutter over and over and squeeze both thumbs tightly.
A hush falls over the crowd as the emcee reads first to himself before announcing the winner to the crowd.
“And the winner is Todd Alexander.”
The audience erupts with applause. I join in.
I can’t help but be happy for him.
Todd
I sit in my chair and try and ignore the feeling of insects swarming in the pit of my stomach. So far, I’ve refused to have a drink. If I’m going to do this, it’s got to be done properly.
I reckon I’m only going to get one chance, and that chance might be tonight. If I blow it, I can kiss my dreams, my life, goodbye.
Occasionally I glance around, but I can’t see where she’s sitting. It probably doesn’t matter. It might even be better not to know where she is.
I’m sitting alone tonight, and a small army of reporters has already questioned me about it. Emma wanted to tag along, but I just gave her the biggest fuck you I could muster.
We’re at the Oscars now—the control she had over me is now gone, and I don’t give a fuck about her. I never did.
There’s only one woman I care about.
Only one woman I love.
“And now, distinguished guests, for the moment we have all been waiting for.” A dramatic pause by the emcee, drum roll, and he continues, “Best male actor nominations...”
I tune out to the ramblings of previous winners and nominations. I’m only interested in one thing. Am I the winner?
I hold my breath as he opens the envelope and holds the paper in front of his face, clearly reading it to himself before announcing.
“And the winner for this year’s best male actor is Todd Alexander.”
I punch the air. Yes. I fucking did it.
I get up and take a little bow. All around me, people are applauding and some are standing.
With a spring in my step, I bounce toward the stage. I wave, I bow, and I smile. I need to look the part.
As I approach the emcee and microphone, all I think of is the woman of my dreams. Only one person is on my mind—Sophie.
Images of Sophie drown out everything else. She’s in my mind, large as life on screen as a scene from the movie is played.
Sophie.
This better work.
I need to go big or go home.
I accept the little gold Oscar and hold him up in the air. More applause, more people stand.
Now I wish I could see her. Is she applauding or is she hanging on Mason’s arm?
I clear my throat and smile.
“Thank you,” I start, and a hush falls over the audience. I have the floor. It’s now or never.
I feel as if I’m auditioning for my very first acting role. Butterflies are multiplying rapidly in my stomach, and the palms of my hands are sweaty.
I’m staring out at a sea of dark shapes. Try as I might, I can’t make out anyone I know.
“Like everyone else, I want to assure you I’m not going to keep rambling on up here. I know we are all mindful of the time and there are plenty of more important awards to be handed out yet.”
Polite laughter.
“First, I want to say how lucky and privileged I feel for my acting being recognized by such a distinguished authority as the Oscars. It’s a real honor to be joining some of the true greats we saw a few minutes ago.”
More applause. I smile and rest one hand on the lectern. If it wasn’t for my inner turmoil, I think I’d really enjoy this.
“Of course, there are many people to thank, and let me tell you right now I’m terribly sorry if you do not get a mention—it is not deliberate. We all know making a movie takes an enormous amount of people, and each and everyone from the runner to the producer is important. I thank you all.”
Laughter and applause. I’m building up to it. Get on with it, says my inner voice, and I do.
“Of course, I would be nothing without Jordan, my right-hand man, best friend, and human extraordinaire.”
I see a close-up of Jordan in the audience as the camera zooms in on him. He gives a little wave. Briefly I register there is a petit woman sitting next to him.
Mental note to self, ask who his female companion of the night is.
“Of course, I also need to thank my manager and the film crew of this amazing film I was privileged enough to be part of.”
I take a deep breath. Here it goes.
“As I said already, it takes many hands to make light work. I want to thank everyone on this film from the hair and makeup team, to the producer, the writer, and assistant director.”
Silence.
“But there really is one person I need to single out, one person who needs to be thanked separately because she’s the reason I’m holding this award right now.”
The camera has already found Sophie, and I see her displayed on the large screen to my right.
I can’t gauge her reaction. She looks divine. Her dress is out of this world.
It takes me a few seconds to compose myself.
“If it wasn’t for Sophie Palmer, I wouldn’t be standing here tonight, receiving this distinguished award.”
The crowd is going wild.
“Sophie believed in me when others didn’t. She taught me so many things during this film, both on and off the set. She is an amazingly talented woman. Not only did she do a fantastic role as director, she was an awesome lead actor in the film as well.”
Sophie is wiping something off her cheek. Alice is whispering in her ear, and Mason is patting her on the back.
“Sophie,” I say and look directly at her. “I want you to know I’ve been an ass. But you should also know not everything is as it seems and everyone deserves to give an explanation. I know I had choices, and I may have made a mistake, but it was done with the best of intentions and only one person in mind: you. All I ask is that you give me a chance to explain. Don’t jump to conclusions. Hear me out and then make up your mind. Please.”
The emcee points to his watch, and the music plays. And I know it is time for me to get off the stage.
As I walk back to my seat, I take deep breaths
.
Has it worked? Will she hear me out? I hope so.
After all, I just asked for a minute of her time on live TV, my plea reaching millions of people all around the world.
If there’s a God, I sure hope he’s smiling down on me tonight.
Sophie
Cameras are going off like machine guns, flashlights assault my eyes, and I try hard not to blink. I can’t begin to describe how I feel.
I stand next to the life-size statue of Oscar and hold up my own. Best film. I did it.
Did I step outside the Palmer shadow, or did I live up to it? I’m not sure, and right now, I don’t care. I am holding an Oscar, my very own.
Reporters are scrambling to get me to give them an interview. I’m in demand, and I’m enjoying it. Part of me wants to dwell on Todd’s speech and work out what he meant, but the other part, my ego, wants to revel in the glory of winning an Oscar.
As I walk back to the red carpet, people I’ve never met before are congratulating me. It feels amazing; I love it, I love it, I love it.
Alice hugs me again, her arms wrapped tight around me, and there’s a giant smile on her lips.
Dizzy with excitement and pleasure, I see my parents come toward me. Mum looks like a goddess. Dad is in a black designer suit, as usual, and doesn’t look his age at all.
He’s the first to wrap his arms around me and give me a huge bear hug.
“I’m so proud of you,” he whispers in my ear, and now I feel tears run down my cheeks.
“Mr. Palmer, Mr. Palmer,” shouts a reporter, and Dad releases me.
“How do you feel about your daughter winning an Oscar?”
Dad puts his left arm around my shoulder and smiles.
“I’m the proudest father in the world.” He gives me a kiss on my temple and pulls me close toward to him. “With this film, Sophie has proved she’s not just a Palmer, she’s bigger than that. She has proven to everyone she is a huge talent. Sophie brings her own talent and enthusiasm to movies, and tonight the entertainment world has confirmed Sophie has her own name and style—a name and style we will hear and see a lot more of in the future.”
If I was ready to burst with pleasure and excitement before my Dad’s little speech, I think now I’m going to explode with happiness for sure.
For years I’ve longed to hear Dad tell me he’s proud, and right here, right now, in front of a huge television audience, he has said so much more than I expected. It’s my turn to hug him.
As I put my arms around him, I see Todd. He’s on his own. My heart starts to beat a little faster as I realize he’s walking toward me.
I kiss Dad.
“There’s something I’ve got to do,” I whisper, and I walk toward Todd. Questions are swirling around my mind like bees around a beehive.
At the very least, I deserve some answers.
“Come to the car,” he tells me right away and takes my arm.
His fingers on my naked flesh send little electric shock waves through my body. Oh, how I have missed his touch. I ignore shouts from people I don’t know.
My parents will understand why I have left. Alice is too busy celebrating with Eric.
Briefly Mason’s face pushes its way into my mind. Poor Mason. I hesitate, but Todd keeps walking.
“Mason,” I start, not quite sure what to say.
“He’s a grown-up boy. I’m sure he can look after himself,” growls Todd.
At the car he opens the door, and once I’m in he slams it shut.
I have no idea where he’s driving to, but I say nothing. When he finally speaks to me, I just want to look into those gorgeous eyes of his.
He stops the car.
I look up and see a park. We’ve come here before, on one of our days off. A romantic at heart, Todd.
“Sophie,” he says as he takes my hands and looks me in the eyes. “I don’t know how to start or what to say.”
My heart is racing, and I’m glad I’m sitting down. My knees are jellylike.
“Start at the beginning and tell me the truth,” I reply and try and keep my voice steady. Part of me wants to throw myself into his arms, and the other can’t get the image of him and Emma out of my mind.
He lets go of my hands and he strokes my face instead.
“The beginning,” he mumbles and seems lost in thought. “Emma…she came on to me. I wanted nothing to do with her, Sophie, but when I pushed her away, she threatened me. She said if I didn’t go out with her, she’d kill the whole movie.” He stops and takes a deep breath. “She secured some of the rights, and she was ready to pull the cord on the whole thing. She’d do it, I know.”
A glimmer of hope flickers deep within me.
“I didn’t know what to do. I thought I had no choice but to go along with her demands. I thought I’d just go to the party with her and find you to explain what had happened. But, of course, she wouldn’t let me leave her side. She constantly threatened to destroy the movie.”
Todd pauses again. His eyes are still on mine. I feel tears well up in me.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I didn’t mean for this to happen. I know it sounds stupid, but I really felt I had no choice but to go along with that stupid bitch’s demands.”
I laugh.
“It’s not funny.” Todd pulls a face. “Of course, eventually I realized the whole thing was stupid. All I needed to do was to go and speak to you, and as long as you knew what had happened…everything would work out. I don’t know. I was just stupid.”
“Did you and Emma…you know?” I don’t want to say it, but I do need to know.
“Fuck no, no way.” Todd lifts both his hands in a claim of innocence. “Nothing ever happened between the two of us, and once I was sure she could do nothing to harm the movie, I kicked her ass to the curb.”
Happiness rips through me.
“I guess I shouldn’t have blocked you from my phone straight away,” I reply and take his hands.
Todd leans toward me, and his lips come down on mine. At first they are gentle and probing, and then they become more forceful.
When he draws back, I’m breathing hard, and I know exactly what I want…and what I need.
“Why don’t you take me somewhere more comfortable where we can really celebrate?” I mutter into his ear.
Sophie
“Tell me…is this real?” I ask him the moment we step foot inside his apartment. “Please, tell me it is,” I continue, my voice nothing but a sweet little whisper.
“It’s real, Soph. As real as it gets,” he replies, caressing my face with the back of his hand.
His eyes are on mine, and I can’t shift my gaze away. How did I survive all those weeks without Todd by my side? Oh, God, I was a fool! If only I had given him a chance to explain, if only I hadn’t acted like such a broken-hearted idiot.
But none of that matters now.
What matters is that we’re here, together at last. Emma has been pushed off the equation, and even if she tries to do something to break us apart, together we’ll simply fend her off. Swear to God, I won’t allow anything—or anyone—to ever come between the two of us again.
“No, this has to be a dream,” I continue, my lips slowly curling into a smile. Forget about the Oscars, awards and ceremonies—I’ve never felt this happy before. If I had to choose between the Oscar I got, and the love from this perfect man…well, that’d be the easiest choice of my life.
“I love you, Todd, I really do,” I tell him, my heart keeping a steady but urgent pace inside my chest.
“I know…I love you too, Soph,” he breathes out, his lips returning me a smile of his own. “I love you so much that I can’t help but do something.”
“Do what…?” I ask, arching my eyebrows in surprise.
He runs the tip of his tongue between his lips, never taking his eyes out of mine, and then places one hand inside his pocket.
“I brought this to the Oscars with me,” he whispers, taking a small velvety case from inside his pocke
t. I place one hand in front of my mouth as I gasp, slowly realizing what he’s about to do.
“Sophie,” he continues, going down on one knee in front of me, “you’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met. You’re sweet and kind. You’re smart, passionate about your work…and you’re beautiful. The most beautiful woman on Earth. If you’ll have me, I’ll be the happiest man alive.”
With that, he pops the case open and my eyes widen as I watch the golden band casually sitting on a little plush pillow. He eases off the ring gently, and then holds my hand.
“Will you marry me, Sophie Palmer?”
“I…I don’t know what to say,” I stammer, my heart beating as fast as a sparrow’s wings.
“Say yes,” he smiles at me, that sweet smile on his lips. Will I have that smile just for me, every day for the rest of my days?
“YES!” I cry out, tears stinging my eyes as he slides the golden band onto my trembling finger.
The moment I feel the cold metal against my skin, I simply can’t resist it anymore—I jump forward, throwing my arms over his shoulders, and we tumble down to the floor.
“I love you, I love you so much,” I say as I kiss his nose, cheeks, and mouth. “I love you, I love you.”
“I love you too, Sophie,” he whispers against my lips, “you’re the woman of my life, and I never want to let go.”
“Promise me that,” I say, nibbling at his lower lip.
“I promise,” he replies, running his hands down the side of my body, his fingers moving over the curve of my ass. Digging his fingers into my flesh, he pulls me against him, and I feel that sweet electricity crackling under my skin, as I feel something thick and hard growing between his thighs. Something that now belongs only to me.
“I missed you…I miss this,” I sigh, opening my legs and straddling him. He sits up on the floor and, as I throw my arms over his shoulders, I thrust against him. With my pussy pressed against his hard cock, I throw my head back and close my eyes, allowing a deep moan to tumble out from between my smiling lips.
God, I feel so alive! And happy—I’m happy again!
“We have some lost time to make up for,” I grin, leaning in and crushing my mouth on his again.
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