by Frankie Love
"I don't know. I mean... Do you think she wants to get back together?" I ask gently.
"It's hard to be on this mountain and not have anyone."
He doesn't have to tell me that. It's the exact reason I don't want to return. The idea of being back there, with all the sugary romance and adorable babies and seeing Beau? My heart turns to knots just thinking about it.
Besides, I am not ready to tell him I am carrying his baby.
"What about Grace?" I ask. "Could you and she be something?"
Grace had been held hostage at the same cult as Cherish, plus she and Jonah have similar childhoods.
"There's nothing there, Josie." Jonah laughs. "Believe me, I tried, just like I tried with you."
"You never know when you're going to meet your person, Jonah, but going back to a girl who hurt you doesn't seem like a step in the right direction and I think you know that."
"It gets old, though, not having someone." Jonah exhales and the sadness in his voice is hard to miss. "I just want to start my life with someone you know?"
"I know." My voice hitches and tears spring to my eyes. I squeeze them shut, thinking only about Beau.
Thinking always about Beau.
The way he ran his fingers over my bare skin, pulling back the layers of my heart and the way he planted something fierce in my heart. Love blossomed in that space... and then, then it's as if someone yanked that seedling and stomped on it. I thought it our love was strong but turns out it was fragile.
And now?
Now it is nothing but a withered vine, and something dead can never grow.
I'm not ready to watch it die, though. My tears water that fading plant, unable to let go.
I want it to grow.
I want something that will never be.
"Josie," Jonah says more softy. "I'm sorry for what Beau did to you, but you're gonna be okay. You're a survivor."
I laugh bitterly. "Says the guy who literally survived living in a cult for twenty years."
"It's okay to feel betrayed, but this feeling won't last forever. I promise. And when you're ready to come back home, you have a lot of friends waiting with open arms."
We hang up and the knot in my heart twists even more.
Even with everything I know, I miss Beau.
Chapter 12
Beau
For the next month, I work for Jax's crew during the week, saving money to spend it on fixing up Josie's house. I'm not gonna paint and redecorate, I know women like to pick out that stuff, but I do know how to replace the electrical, install new lighting, and fix worn floorboards. She had a lot of stuff already picked out for her kitchen and I still have the keys to her house.
She told Jax to pause on the project until she knew what she wanted to do with the property. I guess her dad talked her into considering selling it. But I figure even if she sells, she'll get more from the sale if it's updated.
But I'm hoping once I find a way to clear my name, she will see as the man I am.
Hers.
I rebuild that house from the ground up.
Jaxon knows what I'm up to, but he has chosen to turn a blind eye. Something about knowing that working for a woman's heart takes time. He told me it took him and Harper a long time to find common ground, but once they found their footing, they had a foundation that would last a lifetime.
I want that too.
With Josie.
Only Josie.
So, after I work on the crew's job site, I put in my evening hours at Josie's place. With one nail at a time, I'm putting her place back together.
It's all I can do until I find Tommy.
On the weekend, I hop in my Scout and try to find my way back to the beginning.
Already knowing how I want my story to end.
With Josie.
Only Josie.
Always Josie.
----
Another month passes, and I'm sitting on Josie's front porch on a self-imposed break, drinking a glass of water at nearly ten o'clock at night, when headlights roll down the driveway. Jonah steps out of the truck and when he steps out, heads my way, I know he was out looking for me.
"Josie know you're out here?" he asks, walking up to me, giving me a long look.
I shake my head. "Nah. But we talked about what she wanted. I'm not doing anything cosmetic, just rewiring, patching old drywall, that kinda shit."
Jonah nods, extra slowly, and I don't know where he stands.
"You talk to her?" I ask, wanting to know every last detail.
"I have. A few times. But she, uh..." He stops, runs a hand over the back of his neck and sits down on the step next to me. Usually, at job sites, he's stiff and withdrawn around me, like he's dead set against getting to know me. "But uh, she sounds off, man."
"Off, like how?"
Jonah looks at me, the porch lamp casting a light bright enough that I can see him. He looks pained.
"Off like sad. I asked if I can go visit if she wants to come out, but all I get is no. Over and over. It isn't like her. She's saying the same thing to the girls, Rosie and Harper have tried. It's like she's a different person, totally withdrawn."
"You think it's her dad pressuring her to get away from here?"
"It's what I'd guess."
I run a hand over my beard, not at all sure of why Jonah came to me, to tell me this.
"What are you getting at, Jonah?"
He exhales, like this conversation fucking pains him.
"Look, I don't know what your deal is, okay?" he says coolly. "I know the other guys trust you, but I don't take their side. I take Josie's. And she's a mess."
"You're her best friend, aren't you? Why don't you help her?"
"That's the thing, man; she doesn't want my help." He looks me dead on. "She is fucking in love with you. And I don't know a lot about love but I do know that whatever happened between the two of you, it was more than she's letting on. She needs a man. Her man. And that man's not me. It's you."
"It's not that easy. I can't find the man who wronged me. Until I do..."
"Let me help. I fucking helped James scour the northwest. I'm actually pretty damn good at it."
"You want to help me?"
"I want to help you help Josie."
"You sure you don't love her?"
Jonah tells his jaw, his mouth in a firm line. "I love her like a sister. When I moved here we just kinda fit together, not in an intimate way. In a breath of fresh air way. We became friends, and that's why I want to help you. Besides," he laughs. "Who else is gonna help you? The rest of this mountain is covered in babies. No one else has time to chase down this asshole who should be in prison."
"Thank God you’re still single then, Jonah, because I could really use a hand."
Jonah and I sit out there, on the porch. I grab us some beers and we sit and shoot the shit--and I realize why Josie got along with him so well. He's a straight shooter and yet he isn't all uptight. He's solid, been through a fuck ton of shit. At least we have that common ground.
I don't know what is going on with Josie, or why she's pushing everyone away--but I'm gonna do all I can to fix what I've broken.
For Josie.
For us.
Chapter 13
Beau
It's been over three months since I've seen Josie.
Since I heard her voice.
And no one is getting much from her, except the girls say she'll FaceTime every few weeks--so at least they know she is well.
But I am a man on a mission.
I will win my woman back.
When Jonah and I leave Stan's place, I have a bad feeling that shit is gonna go down really fucking fast.
"I don't want shit to come to the mountain," I tell Jonah as we drive back. "But unless Tommy comes out of the woodwork I have no choice."
Stan told us he would talk about around the neighborhood, with the hope being that he dropped enough hints Tommy's guys would know where to come looking.
"Stan seems a
little over his head," Jonah says as I head toward the highway.
"I know," I say, gripping the wheel. "And I don't want something to happen to him. He's an old man and doesn't need to deal with Tommy or his thugs." I shake my head. "Maybe it was a bad call, coming out to Stan like this; involving him."
"He wanted to help though," Jonah says. It's true, the moment I told Stan I wanted to be out, he agreed it was the only way I would ever relax. Otherwise, I'd spend my life looking over my shoulder to see if Tommy was out for me.
As we drive out of town, I think about Josie, Her dad's place is only ten minutes from here.
"Maybe we should stop at Josie's," I say, without really thinking it through.
"You want to?"
"Of course, I do," I say, scowling at Jonah. I turn on my blinker, turning toward her father's development.
When we get closer though, I start to doubt my plan. I want to see her, but I don't want to upset her.
Still, I can't help it.
When I pull up, there is a BMW in the driveway and I try not to roll my eyes. I knock on the door, Jonah by my side, and wait.
Of course, it's her father, Michael, who answers.
"Is Josie here?" I ask.
Michael sneers. "I wouldn't tell you if she was."
"Hey," I say. "She's an adult. You can't keep that kind of thing from her. I need her to know that--"
"She doesn't need to know anything from you. But you need to go before I call the cops."
Jonah speaks up then, "Look, sir, I'm Jonah, her friend. Can you at least tell her--”?
"I won't at least anything. I know all about you Jonah. You're a backwoods kid who never graduated high school, and Josie is a--"
"Hey," I say, my voice rising. "Don't talk about Jonah like that, you hear me?"
"Oh yeah?" Michael crosses his arms, a smug look of satisfaction on his face. "Or what?"
I shake my head, knowing the only thing I can do is drop it. "You're wrong about me and about Jonah."
"Doesn't matter what I think, does it?"
I clench my fists, longing to fight, but instead, I step away, knowing the only way out of this is to find Tommy.
"This isn't over," I tell him. I head toward my truck with Jonah, and as I jump in the driver's seat, I swear I see a curtain fall, and a person move.
I know Josie is in there. I know she heard me.
And for whatever reason, she's hiding something.
But I'm not.
For her, I'll put it all on the line.
Chapter 14
Josie
I stand in my bedroom window, my hand resting on my baby bump, watching as Jonah and Beau drive away.
Tears fill my eyes as the reality washed over me.
When I didn't see Beau, it was easier to push down the memories of when I was with him, but then seeing him here, in the flesh, it's impossible to suppress what I know is real.
I love him.
I am in love with a criminal.
I am in love with a man my father calls a liar.
But part of me doubts that. I want to believe Beau with all that I am.
Maybe that makes me a monster.
Maybe that makes me insane.
But I don't care.
Not right now.
Right now, I just want Beau to hold me tight.
I press my hand to my belly, thinking about the baby I've started calling Blueberry, and try not to let myself get swallowed up in tears.
I can do this.
After Dad goes to bed I pack a bag. I'm going back to Granddad’s.
I don't know for how long. Maybe a night. Maybe forever.
But I can't tell Dad, or he will give me a thousand reasons to doubt myself.
But something this good can't be wrong.
And Beau Montgomery and I are something so very good.
I get in my car, drive to the mountain, knowing that this is a bad idea on so many accounts.
Maybe it is reckless to leave like this, but this is the only way.
The stars are out, and the roads are clear, and the stereo blares my playlist, the one I made after Beau and I... well, after we met. The song Home is on repeat ...
Let me come home.
Home is whenever I'm with you.
When I pull up to Granddad’s house, I see I'm not the only one here. My eyes narrow as I realize the cars here aren't ones I recognize.
I reach for my phone, thinking maybe this is a bad idea. But before I can make a call, the driver's door swings open, and I am pulled from the car.
At gunpoint.
All I can think about is the baby I am carrying. How I never told Beau he is a father. How I should never have left like I did tonight, without telling a soul.
"What do we have here, a pretty little girl lost at night?" the man snarls. His breath is foul, his eyes beady under the headlights, and I want to fight him away, but he has me held tightly.
"Let me go," I scream, trying to kick him away, but then he has my feet, and wrestling away will only cause me to fall.
And I can't do anything that might harm the baby.
The gun gleams under the moon and the silver casing frightens me.
This can't be how my story ends.
Then my hands are bound with ropes, and I'm dragged into my house.
They push me inside; my eyes fill with tears as I see all the work that been done here. The kitchen is beautiful. The big white apron sink I dreamt about is mounted under a butcher-block countertop, open shelving and bright white tile and a vintage refrigerator in mint green.
I know Beau did this.
For me.
And I can't thank him. Because instead, I'm hit upside the head with a gun, and I fall to the ground, blacking out.
My eyes close and my last thought is, I should have believed him.
Chapter 15
Beau
I've just gotten back to the trailer, thinking about going to sleep, but something in my gut tells me it's not the time to go to bed. It's the memory of that damn curtain falling, back at Josie's dad's house that has me making a pot of coffee at eleven p.m., knowing that I need to go to her Granddad's place and put in some hours fixing the drywall in the master bedroom.
I can't sit here in this trailer doing nothing. At least working at her house will feel like I'm accomplishing something in the name of love.
I grab my keys and just as I'm about to drive over, I get a call from Jonah.
"Hey man, I'm headed to the bar with Jax. Wanna come?"
"Thanks, but I'm gonna go fix up some drywall."
"Sure, man?" Jonah asks.
"Yeah, I gotta do something with my hands, man."
"Alright, man. Take it easy."
I end the call and pull out in my Scout. I get to her place in a few minutes, and as I pull up I realize right away something isn't right. My chest tightens--Josie's car is here. And she isn't alone.
Her car door, though, is left open, and I check the seat, seeing her phone and purse lying there. That's not like her. Without pause, I run toward the house, knowing something isn't right. I hurl myself up the porch steps and push through the front door.
That's when I see him.
Tommy. The man who fucking betrayed me.
"Look who we have here," Tommy sneers. "The man we were looking for."
I pull back my shoulders, not wanting to fight, but knowing that whatever comes next, I can't let them do something to Josie.
"Where is she?" I growl.
"Oh, is that your girl?" Tommy snorts. "I heard you were looking for me."
I step forward, knowing that even though Tommy is a monster of a man, I can take him down. I’m not just fighting for myself. I have Josie to fight for.
"I'm asking you nicely, one more time, then I am going to fucking make you tell me. Where is Josie?"
Tommy reaches into his pocket for a Glock, and I tense, knowing I am in trouble so fucking deep. I'm in a place I never wanted to go. Not now, not ever. Hell, I me
t these guys in a construction crew, when I was barely twenty fucking years old. I didn't know how shady they were. Only that they were in construction until they could make their way up in the black market.
I thought they were hard working guys, just like me; but instead, they are criminals.
Only I'm the one who paid for their fucking crimes.
I push forward, and Tommy raises his gun.
"Just tell me," I shout. Then I hear her. A muffled scream from the bedroom down the hall.
"You like it when your girl whimpers for you? Because if you don't tell me what I want to know, I will fucking make her beg."
"Don't talk about her like that," I hiss.
"Or what?" Tommy asks. He raises the gun and shoots. A bullet crashes through the front window, glass cascading to the floor. I want to kill him for ruining what isn't his to break. But before I can reach for him, I see movement in the corner of my eye from the kitchen.
It's Jax and Jonah, standing silently, a six-pack of beer in hand. Those guys are too fucking good--coming here with a beer to cheer me up.
And look at the danger I’ve brought them.
Brought everyone.
Josie.
I clench my jaw and shake my head, nearly imperceptibly, knowing I need to distract Tommy.
"I was looking for you," I tell him. "I heard you wanted some answers."
"I do. But I need to make sure you won't talk before I start asking."
"Won't talk about what?" I ask, stepping closer to him, not wanting to think I'm intimidated in the least.
Because I'm not. I went to prison. I can fucking handle a pussy like Tommy.
And I need to get this motherfucker to talk. I have the witnesses I need.
"Talk about the time you served."
"You mean the time I served for you, Tommy?"
Tommy shrugs. "You know we never meant to hurt you."
"Hurt me how? Because so far as I can tell, you are the one who planted that shit on me. Framed me."
"That's all water under the bridge now, Beau. Now I just want a chance to say good-bye."