Aidan tucked her in closer to him. “It’s okay.” His breath danced across her ear. “Just let go, baby. I got you.”
And with those words, Beth catapulted into a warm pool of desire, locked in a moment where time stood still and all thoughts disappeared from her mind. Waves of pleasure radiated from where Aidan touched her… deep inside her… under her skin… everywhere all at once. They traveled to every extremity, every strand of hair, and seized every cell in her body, soaring, cresting, and falling, leaving her quaking and panting.
Aidan removed his hand. When Beth opened her eyes, she found him gazing at her with a hint of a smile on his lips. Her elation skyrocketed as she reveled in the aftereffects of her orgasm: the lingering pulses between her legs, the tingling of her damp skin, her relaxed muscles. She felt like she could take on the world.
“That was…” She snuggled into his arms and sighed. “Wow.”
He placed a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you, baby.”
She giggled. “Shouldn’t I be the one thanking you?”
He shook his head. “You’ll never know how much it means to me that you trusted me to do that.”
As Beth met his sincere gaze, the sacredness of what they’d shared overcame her.
“I couldn’t imagine it with anyone but you,” she said softly.
Closing her eyes, she hugged him tightly. That was when she found him still very much erect. Without hesitation, she shifted on the mattress and brought her hand to him.
Aidan closed his eyes and groaned, flexing his hips toward her palm. With careful concentration, she started stroking him slowly, like she’d done at his house.
“Wait.” He reached for her hand.
Beth was ready to argue that she was truly ready, but then he explained he simply wanted to get some towels before they ventured any further. She wasn’t sure how much cleanup would be involved afterward but trusted he knew best.
When Aidan returned from the bathroom, she stood from the bed and greeted him with a sultry kiss, unashamed that she was still naked. She ran her fingers down his back and settled on the waistband of his briefs. She curled her fingers underneath but paused on account of her inexperience.
“I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice.
“It’s okay, my sweet girl. Take your time.” Aidan reinforced his words by pressing an unhurried kiss to her lips.
Beth gathered the courage and pulled the briefs down over his hips and behind. They fell to the floor and he stepped out of them, standing before her gloriously naked. She exhaled slowly and gazed downward, taking in the full male physique for the first time in her life.
And oh what a sight he was.
His arousal jutted out from his hips, large and rigid, a magnificent display of dark pink flesh. Beth took him in her hand and caressed gently. Aidan groaned and slumped forward, burying his face in the crook of her neck.
She had no idea where to go from here. Given his question about self-pleasuring earlier, she assumed he was no stranger to it himself.
She halted her strokes. “Aidan, can you show me how you like to be touched?”
He let out something that resembled a moan. “If it’s you, baby, any way is perfect.”
Beth withdrew her hand. This got his attention.
“Please show me.”
Aidan kissed her. Then he settled her on the bed and lay down on his back beside her. He shut his eyes for a moment, and his chest expanded on a deep breath. When he lifted his eyelids, he slowly eased his hand toward his arousal. Moving one of his legs to the side, he captured himself in his palm, fisting his hard, thick length. With a slow, smooth movement, he stroked base to tip.
“Like this.”
Beth watched him closely, finding the experience very erotic.
“Just looking at you, I could orgasm right now,” he murmured.
She stopped him by wrapping her hand around his. “Please, let me.”
Aidan retracted his hand and rested it beside him on the bed. As Beth took hold of him by herself, he trembled and closed his eyes. Hesitant at first, she followed his example, enjoying how hot and heavy he felt in her hand.
When Aidan gritted his teeth, she stopped with the concern she’d done something wrong. “Is this all right?”
“Yeah… more.” His head tilted back. The veins in his neck popped.
Beth resumed her strokes, watching Aidan unravel before her. Seeing him this way was almost more than she could bear: the sweat dampening his chest, his muscles tensing and straining as he pushed his head back into the pillow. His eyes were closed, his jaw taut; the sounds he made submerged her into another deep state of arousal.
“How does this feel, Aidan?”
“I’m so close.” He clamped his jaw together and groaned through his teeth.
Beth recalled something Connie had told her and slid her hand below, cupping him.
Aidan cursed and gathered a fistful of blanket, lifting his hips. She took this as a good sign and kept her hand there while her other hand pumped him. The hiss that curled out of him confirmed she was doing it properly. When she felt more confident, she stroked him faster.
“Beth… baby… I’m going to…” The words trailed off into a masterful moan.
Beth felt him jerk and shudder, and something warm and thick shot out of him in pulses, covering her hand and his stomach. She marveled at his strong physique—how his handsome face twisted with the pleasure she gave him—and didn’t lose her rhythm until he stilled.
When Aidan’s eyes finally opened and met hers, they were satiated and full of worship.
Beth removed her hand and placed it on his thigh, smiling widely.
“Baby, that was incredible.” A lazy grin played upon his lips.
Beth settled back on the mattress, and Aidan reached over to the nightstand to grab the two towels he retrieved from the bathroom earlier. He cleaned her up first and then himself, and pulled on his briefs. He also apologized for the mess, but she insisted she didn’t mind.
After putting her nightgown back on, Beth excused herself to the bathroom and prepared for bed. As she curled up in Aidan’s embrace again, she longed to tell him she loved him but held back. The last thing she wanted was to speak out of turn and ruin the moment. Or worse, scare him away completely. Plus, Olivia had told her the man was supposed to say it first, not the woman.
Beth closed her eyes and welcomed the exhaustion that set in, content and safe in the arms of her beau. Even without telling Aidan how she truly felt, sharing the evening with him had been lovelier than she ever could’ve imagined. Now she couldn’t wait to share the dawn.
Aidan poked his head outside and surveyed the back porch against the blinding rays of the setting sun. The burly drifter pinned his mother into the corner of the veranda, keeping a large hand on her throat.
Aidan’s grip on the doorknob tightened.
Catherine Evans’ gaze jumped to her son. “Sweetie, why don’t you go and play in the front yard?”
He stood there, staring.
“Aidan, please!” Her voice shook.
The drifter glared over his shoulder. “Leave, boy.”
A chill shot down Aidan’s spine, freezing his feet to the floor.
The man released Catherine and stormed over to the door, the blood red sun reflecting in the blade of the knife clutched to his side. Aidan quaked in his shadow.
Catherine ran across the porch, stumbling over the bottom of her torn cotton dress. She grabbed the drifter’s coveralls. “Don’t hurt him. Please, leave him be!”
With a shake of his arm, the man threw her to the ground.
She crawled along the planks, her fingers gripping the wood so strongly they bled. Tears streamed down her face as she peered at her son. “Go back inside and lock the door.”
The pleading tone of her voice slashed at Aidan’s ears like shards of glass. He couldn’t move.
His mother scrambled to her feet and darted in front of the man. She shov
ed Aidan backward into the house and slammed the door shut, screaming at him to lock it. With trembling hands, he did as he was told.
The drifter’s shadow disappeared from under the door. Aidan heard his mother’s sobs… heard the man pick her up off the ground… her shrieks of protest… the heavy footsteps across the porch, growing fainter, and then silent.
Aidan collapsed to the kitchen floor and pulled his legs to his chest. He screwed his eyes shut and rocked back and forth, praying for the strength a ten-year-old boy did not possess. He felt too terrified to face the drifter by himself, too terrified to run or call for help. The nearest neighbor lived miles away. He didn’t even know in which direction to flee.
The scream that blasted from the porch into the kitchen was so high-pitched Aidan was surprised the windows didn’t shatter. Cowering in the corner alone, he bowed his head to his knees and wept.
When Aidan jolted awake, he knew he’d been asleep for a while but also sensed most of the night had yet to unfold. His heart thumped so loudly he thought it had taken up residency between his ears, and he couldn’t catch his breath. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark, desperately searching for answers as to where he was and if he was safe.
His surroundings finally came into focus, bringing with them clarity as to why he was in a hotel room. The memory that he hadn’t been staying here alone arrived moments later. Dread plowed into him with a force more dizzying than when his car spun out during the race at his discovery that the other side of the bed was empty.
Aidan threw off the covers and leapt to his feet.
“Beth?” He scrambled around the foot of the bed, squinting into the darkness. “Beth, where are you?”
Multiple worst-case scenarios flooded his mind, sweeping aside the emotional remnants of his nightmare. Aidan knew how violent he could get when caught in the clutches of his past. He’d woken up with scratches before… bruises.
Aidan stumbled backward and sat on the bed, his chest heaving. She’d left him.
“Oh, fuck. No! Not Beth. Please, don’t let me have hurt Beth.” Gripping his damp hair in both hands, he looked to the ceiling. The sound he released was like that of a lone wolf howling at the moon. He couldn’t believe he’d fallen asleep, in spite of all of his efforts to the contrary.
Yet again, he’d validated one of his worst fears: Once a failure, always a failure.
Aidan vaulted to his feet and stormed over to the bureau, desperate to discharge as much of his despair as possible before searching for Beth. He picked up his racing trophy and hurled it across the room, along with a loud and vicious curse. The trophy crashed against the wall and landed on the floor, taking with it a framed painting or two from the sounds of it.
With a growl, he reached for the nearest item, a chair, and lifted it over his head—
A whimper came from the opposite end of the room.
Aidan dropped the chair and whirled around, sweaty and panting.
He frantically scanned the darkness. “Beth?”
He felt along the wall for the light switch and flipped it on. Beth huddled on the floor in the far corner, her legs pulled to her chest, her eyes red, and her complexion ashen. Knowing she’d been in the room the entire time and he could’ve hit her with his trophy added to his already insurmountable guilt.
Aidan rushed to her side and dropped to his knees, wishing to draw her into his arms but unsure as to whether she’d want him to touch her.
“I didn’t mean to lose it,” he said, his hands fisting his hair. “I just… I thought…” His eyes skipped down her body, radiating the pain he felt at finding her looking so scared and vulnerable. “Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?”
Beth looked blankly at the floor in front of her. “I—I didn’t know it was like that,” she said, as though in a trance. “I mean, you told me it was difficult for you, but…”
Aidan took her hand in his. The action seemed to break her out of her shock. “Beth, I need to know if you’re hurt. Please.”
“I’m fine.” She offered a weak smile. “I—I just fell off the bed.”
Aidan’s next question took excruciating strength to ask. “Tell me the truth. Did I knock you off?”
Beth tucked her legs to the side and tugged on the bottom of her nightgown, as if she felt she wasn’t covered up properly. “No, you didn’t. Your screams and thrashing startled me awake. I tried to move out of the way and didn’t realize how close I was to the edge of the mattress. That’s all.”
The fact that she chose to stay on the floor spoke volumes to Aidan about how greatly he had scared her. His guilt rendered him at a loss for what he could do to convey how sorry he was. Sorry for frightening her. Sorry for putting her in danger. Sorry she saw firsthand how damaged he truly was.
“Damn it, baby.” Aidan squeezed his eyes shut briefly. “If I’d hurt you, I’d never forgive myself.”
“I promise I’m all right.” Beth touched his cheek tenderly, looking more at ease. If she was lying to him, it was the performance of her career. “What about you?”
Aidan bowed his head.
“I’ll be fine.” The words didn’t feel right—not on his tongue, his ears, or his heart.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
His long pause relayed his answer effectively, but out of courtesy he responded with a quiet, “No.”
Tears toppled down Beth’s cheeks. “I wanted to wake you… I wanted to help.” Tremors of remorse filled her voice. “I just didn’t know how.”
The sight of her crying was like a fist to Aidan’s gut. He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck, holding her like it was the last time he’d ever have the privilege.
“You did the right thing,” he said hoarsely. “You had every right to hide from me.”
Beth shook her head against his bare chest. “I didn’t. I abandoned you when you needed me most. I just wasn’t prepared for… for…” A sob tore from her throat. “I heard you calling for me… but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. Then you threw your trophy…” She shuddered with another sob. “I’m sorry, Aidan. I’m so sorry.”
With his lips to her hair, he said, “You did nothing wrong, baby. It’s me. All me.”
Beth cried harder.
Aidan settled her in his lap and rocked her gently, using all of his remaining strength not to break down as well. He couldn’t believe he’d turned their special evening into such a catastrophe. Part of him wanted to tell her to run. The selfish part of him couldn’t let her go.
He wasn’t sure how long they sat together on the floor before her crying stopped and he brought her back to the bed. He was just grateful that during that time he was able to convince her she had no reason to feel guilty or say sorry to him. He also apologized for being overly confident in his ability to stay awake, and for assuming he didn’t have to warn her about what to expect if he had a nightmare.
After Aidan turned off the overhead light, Beth moved across the bed from where he’d left her and patted the vacant spot beside her. “Come join me.”
Aidan eyed the bed hesitantly. “I should stay on the couch.”
The pout she gave him told him she’d feel wounded if he turned her down. It was ironic after all he’d put her through tonight.
His heart replied before his rational mind could. “Okay.”
He tucked her in properly and stood over her, brushing his hand to her hair. She looked up at him, surveying his face as if she was trying to find the man he was just hours earlier.
Aidan wanted to kiss her, cover her body with his, and show her how much he loved her, since he had yet to gather the courage to say it aloud. He wanted to remind her of the intimacy they had shared and how gentle he could be… how he would rather die than bring harm to her.
With the thought of how easily she could’ve been injured tonight, his muscles tensed.
Beth’s brow furrowed. “Aren’t you going to lie down?”
Aidan made his decision quickly and easily. He n
eeded a break. He was still too raw to be around her—hungry for life affirming contact but too indisposed to make good decisions.
“I’m going to wash up first.” He leaned down to kiss her forehead and then headed for the bathroom with hurried strides.
“Aidan?”
He stopped walking and peered over his shoulder.
Beth sat up in the bed, clutching the sheets to her chest. Her wide eyes brimmed with moonlit hope. “Please hurry back.”
Aidan swallowed back the emotion that snuck up his throat. “Of course.”
The contented smile she gave him in reply was more than he felt worthy to receive.
As he turned on the bathroom light and closed the door, he vowed that her second chance wouldn’t be in vain. He would be diligent from now on in making sure he didn’t fall asleep with her until he was certain his nightmares were gone for good—which most likely would be never.
Aidan used extra caution not to look in the mirror as he toweled off and took a long drink of cold water. He knew the reflection that would greet him all too well and was disinclined to feel worse than he already did.
When he was done, he sat on the closed toilet lid and bowed his head to his hands, breathing in and out slowly. Beth’s scent was still fresh on his skin; the memory of having her body beneath him and touching her until she quivered with orgasm occupied his mind.
Aidan cursed low and hard and stood to pace the bathroom, fighting the urge to punch something. He craved a cigarette, craved an escape from the hotel to clear his head and wallow in his guilt over scaring Beth, as well as his inability to save his mother all those years ago. He couldn’t run, though. Not when Beth was waiting for him in the next room, for reasons he still couldn’t fathom.
Only when he was completely confident that he’d calmed down did he leave the bathroom and crawl back into bed. Beth snuggled up to him without hesitation.
It took almost an hour for her to drift off. Aidan wondered how she could sleep at all. He stared at the ceiling until the sun came up, obsessing over the fact that his nightmares had returned to the intensity and frequency they had before she had agreed to go steady with him.
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