Heart Search

by Robin D. Owens

  The tea was good, just enough sweet on her tongue.

  And she wasn’t alone. She had Mica, who was exploring the room, staying away from the fountain and any stray droplets of water. Camellia had her close friends, Glyssa and Tiana.

  She sat for a long while letting the peace and satisfaction of her place fill her with accomplishment, soothe her with the knowledge that she brought good food and good tea into others’ lives.

  A tapping came at her door and she froze, then sank into her balance, breathed deeply in and out, and prepared for fighting. Light-footed, she prowled to the peephole of the door. Sent out her senses to the person beyond . . .

  It’s Teacher! Mica said, prodding her forepaw against the door.

  Acacia? Camellia asked telepathically.

  Yes, it’s me, Acacia said.

  What are you doing here?

  There was hesitation on her teacher’s part, then a sigh. It’s so very female.

  What?

  There’s a piece of furniture in a shopwindow that I drop by to look at for my new social club. A humorously sly note came into her mind. Why don’t I show it to you?

  All right, Camellia answered.

  And, um, do you have any strong caff?

  Camellia unlocked and dropped the spellshields on the door, opened it for Acacia. “Just a minute and I’ll bring you some.”

  It took no more than a couple of minutes before Camellia and Acacia were walking down the street, Mica trotting beside them.

  “Nice night,” Acacia said.

  “It is, I think spring is finally here and summer’s just ahead.”

  “Good night for the Great Labyrinth Fair.”

  “I suppose so,” Camellia said. She really didn’t want to think of it.

  “I’ve never been,” Acacia said. “Not much of one for walking around and meditating.”

  “Me, neither,” Camellia agreed.

  About a half block down, Acacia stopped at a bright window.

  “Oh,” Camellia breathed.

  “Yup, thought you might like something in here, too.”

  “It’s the wardrobe.”

  “Huh. I like the cupboard. The wardrobe looks a little fancy for you.”

  Camellia sipped her drink. “For the teahouses, sure. But for home . . .” She thought of the wall in her bedroom with her safe that her uncle had vandalized twice, willfully destroyed. If she moved the bed over a bit closer to the other wall, this beautiful piece would fit. She sidled closer to the window to check the price, sucked in a breath through her teeth. If she got the piece, she and Mica would be on a strict budget for months, emptying the no-time of food she’d already prepared. And that was counting on the Teahouse and HouseHeart continuing to do well.

  I like it, Mica said. Shelf on top behind fancy wood looks nice and wide. I could have a good sleep spot.

  Mentally, Camellia rearranged her ideas for the wardrobe, included Mica. It would work for both of them.

  “So, you think the cupboard would fit in well with our plans for the social club?” Acacia said.

  Tilting her head, Camellia visualized the space they’d planned. “I think it would be perfect.”

  Breath whooshed from Acacia, and she grinned. “I’m no good at these things, and I can’t afford a decorator.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “You and me are doing a trade,” Acacia reminded Camellia. “I got you into the Green Knight. You’re doing well, by the way. Didn’t embarrass me tonight. Should make the next level in a couple of weeks.”

  “That’s what Tinne Holly said. Nearly word for word.”

  Acacia laughed, then stared at the clean lines of the cupboard and bumped Camellia with her shoulder. “Thanks again for indulging me.” She sipped the last of her caff, tossed the container in the street deconstructor, glanced up at the shopwindow. “Clovers’ Fine Furniture, good solid construction. The cupboard will last my lifetime, and that’s all I ask.”

  “Yes,” Camellia said, but her lips tightened. She didn’t need to have furniture lasting longer than her lifetime, either. Once again Laev’s beautiful ResidenceDen flowed through her mind. She’d loved the style of that chamber.

  Someday, she hoped, she would be courageous enough to go to Laev.

  Her fearful behavior tonight still stung. What would she do when she saw him next?

  Twenty

  She concentrated on the wardrobe. It represented something new in her life. Living with her Fam, another being. That was a start. Camellia would work on her emotional problems, maybe find a way to ban her father and uncle from her life—false hope, that. Still, in a couple of years, maybe she’d be mature enough to claim her HeartMate. If Laev could ever accept her.

  A septhour later she and Mica were snuggled in bed. Mica at the foot on her blanket. Camellia was blocking thoughts and the self-inflicted pain of Laev leaving her. No dream sex tonight or in the nights to come, both she and Laev were strong enough in control to ensure that.

  Tentatively she probed their link. He’d narrowed it to a thread. As narrow on his end as on hers.

  Practicing some deep breathing exercises, she was drifting off to sleep when Mica said, Zanth likes Me.

  Camellia found herself smiling. “Yes,” she mumbled.

  Brazos likes Me, too.

  “Um-hmm.”

  Life is good.

  Yes, life was still good.

  After a couple of minutes, Mica said, Black Pierre doesn’t like Me.

  Making an effort, Camellia snagged a couple of thoughts to reply intelligently. Life’s like that.

  But Black Pierre is old and not fun, so I don’t care and Life is still Good.

  Laev was young and fun and Camellia cared too much, but sleep beckoned and she let herself slide into blessed surcease.

  The next morning, Camellia gave in to her sore muscles and leaned back in her large square tub in the waterfall room, taking time for a luxury. Mica sat across the room on a folded towel, disapproving. Camellia’s calendarsphere popped into existence, announcing, “The fee for salvaging your tea set, three one-thousand-gram tins of specially mixed tea, and three hundred ounces of pure Earthan green tea from the starship Nuada’s Sword, is due to be delivered today.”

  “Ungh. Dismiss sphere.” She’d already prepared the teas for the Kelps a week prior, but today was marked as the delivery day. And it had used most of the Earthan green tea that she’d had on hand, which meant another visit to, and skirmish with, the starship.

  Head back on the cushiony rest, she breathed in steam. She’d hoped to wait and reveal her last secret to her friends later, but it appeared as if she’d need their help, again, since her father and uncle remained in her life. Time was passing, the window of opportunity closing.

  Her peace sloughed away, she rose and ordered the bathing tub to empty then cleanse, and dressed in a good business tunic that included a shimmer of woven silver thread. Eyeing the wall where her safe was, she decided to just have the gouges fixed and not use the cache anymore. No reason to use it if her uncle could get into the safe at will and broke it just to be mean.

  “Here, Mica,” she called to the cat who was sulking over her smaller portion of clucker meat on her dish in the kitchen.

  I am here. Mica walked in, tail held stiffly.

  “Can you use your Flair with me to move the bed frame and bedsponge closer to the entry wall?”

  Why?

  “Because we decided to get the wardrobe, didn’t we?” Camellia said with weighted politeness. “But if you’ve changed your mind . . .”

  Mica sniffed. No, I want My shelf. She came and sat next to Camellia, leaned against her leg, and the bond between them strengthened with the touch. The cat’s energy was odd, but they were Familiar companions so Camellia could use it.

  “Ready? On three push with me. One, Camellia, two, Mica cat, three.”

  The frame and sponge slid easily two-thirds of a meter, leaving a smaller walkway along the wall with the door, but more than e
nough space for the new wardrobe.

  When do we get new wardrobe? Mica asked, following the line of dust where the edge of the bed had been. Camellia winced at the sight, sighed, walked into the hallway. “Come out of the room so I can do a whisk-and-vanish-dust spell.” With the energy she was spending, she wouldn’t be teleporting anywhere today.

  When do we get My new sleep shelf space? Mica insisted but strolled over to Camellia.

  “I’ll have to study the business accounts. Probably not sooner than next month, so at least two weeks.”

  Mica sneezed, probably from the dust, and Camellia raised her arms and said the couplets and cleaned the room.

  Then she scried Glyssa. “Come over for dinner tonight.”

  “Yum!” Glyssa said, moving restlessly. “I’m left watching the Library while the parents and my brother are at the Great Labyrinth Fair.”

  Camellia accepted the pain the mention of the fair and its association with Laev gave her, accepted that anything reminding her of him would twinge her heart.

  “Isn’t this the day you have to pay your fee to the Kelps?” Glyssa added.

  “That’s right. I’ll contact them as soon as I call Tiana about tonight.”

  “Go ahead and call. I’ll scry Tiana.”

  “Potluck tonight, bring a dish.”

  Glyssa’s eyes widened at that. “What’s going on?”

  “I’ve got a new purchase in mind. If you and Ti have the time, take a look at the wardrobe in the window of Clovers’ Fine Furniture.”

  “Oooh. I love that store.” Glyssa frowned. “But you have a closet and a dresser.”

  “I’ll donate the dresser to Ti’s Temple charity.”

  “She’ll like that. Later.” Glyssa’s face fell back into dissatisfaction. “Gotta hurry if I have to prepare a dish for dinner.”

  Camellia figured her friend would just take something from D’Licorice Residence’s no-times. “Love you,” she said.

  Glyssa smiled and it was brilliant. “Love you, too.”

  “And I have a secret I need your help with.”

  Now Glyssa’s eyes sparkled. “I’ll tell Ti! Later!” The scry panel went dark.

  Secrets. Mica’s tail thrashed. You didn’t tell Me this new secret.

  Actually it’s a very old secret. And because it was such a secret, Camellia replied mentally instead of aloud. Over four centuries old.

  “Whee!” Mica said.

  The wall timer dinged. “Time for work, tell you later.”

  “Yessss.”

  Just before Camellia left, she put in a call to D’Kelp, the daughter of the woman who’d found Camellia’s tea set. The GrandLady appeared busy. “Here,” she said.

  “It’s Camellia Darjeeling, I have your annual tea.”

  “Oh. Yes.” D’Kelp sifted fingers through her prematurely silver hair. “It is that time of year, isn’t it, dear?” She puffed a breath. “Why don’t I send my brother, Feam, to fetch it?”

  “That would be good.”

  D’Kelp smiled. “How about at Darjeeling’s HouseHeart? Lovely place, dear, and I don’t think he’s been.”

  “Also good,” Camellia said.

  Nodding, D’Kelp said, “Farewell,” then ended the scry.

  Staying busy helped Camellia keep her mind off the disastrous night before. After all, she hadn’t known Laev for that long. Hadn’t acknowledged he was important to her. So she could go back to concentrating on the rest of her life and on what she liked best, business.

  It was past MidMorningBell and Camellia was talking to patrons in the room when Feam Kelp and a trendy, younger man walked into Darjeeling’s HouseHeart, stopped, and looked around.

  Camellia finished up her conversation with a diner and moved toward them. “Good to see you again, Feam,” Camellia fibbed. “Would you like a table by the fountain or the fire?”

  “Oh, fire, I think,” said the young man.

  “This way.” She led the men to a table for four and indicated the touch-menu.

  “Thank you,” the young man said, sliding gracefully into a seat.

  “Thank you,” Feam said, staring at the menu. He smiled at his companion. “I always eat free at Darjeeling’s.”

  “Nice.” The young man spared Camellia a smile as he lounged casually.

  “I’ll get your tea and bring your selections out when it’s done.” Camellia waved. “Enjoy.” She had no doubt that she’d be feeding the men some of the most expensive items on her menu. After the men had ordered, she brought out their caff along with a bag that held the tea tins.

  “Thank you,” Feam said, this time looking up at her with a smile.

  “You’re very welcome. I remember your mother with great fondness.”

  “Of course,” he said. “She was pleased that she could find the tea set for you. That ship was the discovery of her life and the salvage of it her best memories.” He reached in and lifted a tin out to display to his friend.

  “Gorgeous!” The other man beamed at Camellia.

  Since people had turned to look at them, and Camellia carried the tins for sale, she wasn’t as annoyed as she might have been.

  Camellia, Kelp’s order is ready, her manager told her telepathically.

  So Camellia smiled at the men. “I’ll be right back with your food.” She got the plates of marinaded thin-sliced prime furrabeast steak sandwiches on ritual bread from the kitchen and returned to the men. Over the next septhour and a half, she waited on them, and allowed herself a sigh of relief when they finally left.

  Her manager shook her head. “And all that was free. They didn’t leave a tip, did they?”

  “No, but they shouldn’t.” Camellia opened her arms wide to stretch them as much to make a point. “Everything you see here is because Feam Kelp’s mother found my tea set.” She glanced at the piece on display. Maybe it would be better to replace the ginger jar with a holographic rendition. Yes, a pretty painting . . . No. Not now. The wardrobe came first. A new goal to work toward, business as usual to focus on, no diverging into sexual relationships. She’d concentrate on not judging men with a narrowed gaze.

  But her manager was still staring at the table Kelp and his companion had vacated, and shaking her head. “All this is because you were smart enough to realize your Family’s property was on the ship that had sunk. Smart enough to put a good legal case together and present it to the SupremeJudge, then you worked your ass off.”

  “I had plenty of help. I’ll go clean the table.”

  “No, you’re still working your ass off. I’ll do it,” her manager said.

  Camellia was grateful but wanted to keep busy. She spent the rest of the day checking her accounts, working on her budget, with Mica napping on her feet or playing with a piece of papyrus in her office. She’d been generally right with the figures, except the HouseHeart was doing better than expected and Darjeeling’s Teahouse had gotten a bump with the opening of the new place.

  She looked down at Mica. “If you want the wardrobe, furrabeast steaks of thirty gilt apiece are things of the past.”

  The cat opened an eye, mewed. Can’t have both?

  “Nope.”

  Maybe we shouldn’t get the wardrobe. We will be moving into T’Hawthorn Residence and it has many furnitures.

  With a jolt, all Camellia’s disappointment in herself and Laev hit like a sleeting ice storm. Mica didn’t realize that things had gone wrong the night before, and Camellia knew that if she told the cat now there would be a loud hissy fit. Later. She locked the records away. “Let’s go start dinner.”

  Food! Cooks get tastes.

  Camellia didn’t want to argue about that, either. “That’s right.”

  And secrets later, the cat ended gleefully.

  Once again Camellia was pacing her small house because she was nervous about revealing a secret to her friends. That’s what she told herself. But she was also frantically trying to think of anything except Laev and how she’d been a coward.

  Secrets.
Yes, that’s what was important at this moment. Like that time so long ago at thirteen, she needed her friends’ help to claim something that was hers—or rather her Family’s. But her father and uncle would ruin everything if they knew. And like that dim time, she must be more clever than they to keep irreplaceable treasure out of their hands.

  Mica watched Camellia make a circuit from the rounded top of one of the furrabeast chairs, paws tucked under her and purring softly. The dinner-altar room was clean and ready, a pan of three large stuffed tubers and stew sent mouthwatering odors throughout the house from the kitchen.

  Camellia couldn’t settle. She found herself standing at the threshold of the bedroom, staring at the holes in the wall around her safe. The place where she’d put the wardrobe.

  Glyssa arrived on the teleportation pad first from her job at the PublicLibrary, and Tiana a few seconds later from the Temple. Both were full of the news of the day. Having them here felt good, felt like Camellia’s life hadn’t just shot in the wrong direction.

  They ate and drank and she let her friends talk of men first. Tiana was in a desultory affair with another Temple student. Glyssa stated that she was occasionally testing the small thread that ran between her and her HeartMate, but otherwise was unaccustomedly closemouthed.

  Finally desserts had been consumed, Mica was snoozing with half-lidded eyes on her pillow, and Camellia cleared her throat.

  She sat huddled in on herself, hands cradled around a mug, looked at her friends over the rim as she sipped the strengthening tea.

  “First thing you should know is that Laev, um, discovered that we were HeartMates and he walked away from me and the problem.”

  “How did he—” Glyssa started.

  “It was my fault. He asked me to accompany him to the Great Labyrinth Fair. I, ah, hinted that we’d been sharing sexual dreams.” Camellia straightened, managed a casual shrug to try to hide her feelings. “He knew then we were HeartMates.”

  “You panicked,” Tiana said matter-of-factly.

  “Yes.”

  There was a hissing gasp from Mica. She stood arched, all fur sticking out. What? No! Everything was planned and plan was working!