by Joanna Neil
‘I’m glad that you did,’ he murmured. ‘I only wish that I could change things for you and make the past disappear, but I can’t do that.’ He leaned towards her, his arms holding her close, drawing her to him so that her forehead rested lightly against his cheek. He was gentle and tender towards her, as though he would sweep all her worries away and make her forget that they had ever existed.
She was thankful for his soothing presence, for his calm and quiet manner. She needed this gentleness, this closeness, this warm feeling of belonging, just as a parched flower needed rain, but it made her long for more, so much more.
It was bound not to last, and steadily the world began to intrude. She became aware of noises in the distance, of the sound of traffic on the main road some way beyond them, and there was the clatter of a trolley, the clank of something being unloaded in the far bay.
She came to her senses slowly and blinked, trying to adjust to the cold world of reality, but Adam was already easing himself away from her.
‘Are you feeling a bit better now, a little more ready to face the world?’ he asked softly. He was looking at her with a guarded expression.
Hannah nodded and drew away from him. ‘I shouldn’t have involved you in my problems that way,’ she said. ‘It won’t happen again.’ She straightened up. ‘I didn’t mean to crumple like that. I wasn’t thinking straight. I just wasn’t thinking at all.’
If she had been, she would surely have kept her distance from him. After all, he was the last person who should get to see her vulnerable side. They were on opposite sides of the fence, and Ryan would readily testify to that.
She could see from the darkening of his eyes that he must be thinking along the same lines. He had been full of compassion for her and he had wanted to console her and reassure her so that she would be strong enough to go on, but things had gone just a little too far for comfort, hadn’t they? He must already be regretting his expression of sympathy towards her. The closeness had been one step too far.
She might get the wrong idea, and there was no way that Adam wanted to become entangled with her. What on earth had she been thinking, cosying up to him that way?
‘If you’re feeling better,’ he said, ‘we should be getting ready to go back to work.’
She nodded. ‘Yes, I’m all right. I’m ready to go now.’ She glanced up at him. He looked…what was it that his features showed? Relief? Thankfulness that things were back to normal? It was impossible to say.
She walked with him into the hospital once more, and it was as though nothing had happened between them. He was professional all at once, his mind directed totally towards work. She didn’t know what to make of him, but perhaps it was better that way.
CHAPTER FIVE
HANNAH stepped out of the lift and turned to walk along the hospital corridor. She had wasted an hour or more that morning, following up on another false lead in the search for her mother, and even the news that Dean was getting better couldn’t lessen the disappointment of that failure.
Added to that, there wouldn’t be time now to look in on the young mother who had been hurt in the car crash. Perhaps she would manage to go and look in on her later. In the meantime, she could have a word with the ward sister about her condition. She needed to know how she was progressing.
‘What are you doing here? I thought this was supposed to be your day off?’A familiar, deep voice cut into her thoughts and she glanced up to see that Adam was coming towards her. She stopped, the sudden encounter making her heart begin to thump discordantly in her chest, sending the blood rushing to her head. She hadn’t expected to run into Adam.
His stride was purposeful, and she guessed that he was heading towards A and E. Perhaps he had just come out from one of the offices along here.
He looked immaculate in a dark grey suit, the jacket sitting well on his broad shoulders, the perfect fit of his trousers drawing her attention to his long, muscular legs. He had caught up with her now, and his nearness sent her already overwrought nervous system into hyperdrive. He was altogether too male for her peace of mind, and memories of the closeness they had shared made her cheeks flush with heat.
He was waiting for an answer, and she managed to find her voice and said, ‘Yes, this is my day off, but I’ve just been up to the wards to visit my neighbour, Dean. I treated him when he took too many painkilling tablets and ended up in here.’ She turned with him into another corridor and they walked together towards the next junction.
Adam nodded. ‘I remember. It happened on your first day at work, didn’t it? How’s he doing?’
‘He’s a lot better. The knee has healed up nicely, too, but he’ll need some intensive physiotherapy to get him moving properly again. At the moment he’s hobbling about on crutches.’
‘That’s good, isn’t it…that he’s up and about, I mean? So, when will he be going home? I would have thought it would be any day now if he’s on his feet.’
‘You’re right. He was hoping to go home soon, but the doctor wanted to make sure that he would be able to get around at the flat before he agreed to it. I said I’d keep an eye on him whenever I was home and they’re going to arrange some transport for him for when they finally agree to release him.’
Hannah glanced along the corridor and came to a halt. ‘I’m heading for the café to meet up with Abby and Ellie…that’s another neighbour…and her little girl. We were planning on having a day out on the river.’
‘That sounds as if it will be fun.’ He sent her a quizzical glance. ‘I suppose Ryan is going along on this trip with you?’
She shook her head. ‘He’s travelling back to the Chilterns to visit our foster-parents.’ Her expression sobered.
‘Oh, I see.’ He frowned. ‘You look as though that bothers you. Is something wrong? Are you sorry he’s not still with you?’
‘No. He only planned on staying with me for a day or so.’ She wasn’t going to share her worries about her foster-brother with Adam, but the truth was it troubled her that Ryan had not managed to sort out his problems with his landlord and that the debt collectors were still hot on his heels.
Adam was watching her curiously, as though he would have probed further, but instead he murmured, ‘I imagine it’s good that he’s going back for a visit. Does your adoptive mother manage to keep in touch with all the children who have been in her care? There must have been quite a number over the years.’
‘She’s stayed in contact with all of them, but I think Ryan and I were with her for longer than the other children, and of course she adopted me in the end. She tells all the foster-children that she wants them to think of her house as home. That’s how it was. She made us feel as though we belonged with her. She says we’re all part of her big family.’
‘A woman with a heart of gold, then?’
Hannah’s lips curved as memories of happier times flooded through her. ‘You could say that.’
Adam was looking at her oddly, and she tilted her head slightly as she studied him. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’ He shook his head. ‘I haven’t seen you smile like that in a long time.’
‘No? Well, Mum is someone special. She’s had to deal with all sorts of children over the years, children who were coping with problems of separation and those from all kinds of troubled backgrounds, but somehow she manages to bring out the best in everyone.’
‘That can’t have been easy for her. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do that.’
‘Yes, it does.’ She locked those thoughts inside herself and said quietly, ‘Do you know if there has been any news of the woman we brought in the other day…Jessica, the young mother with the aortic rupture? I heard that she came through the operation, but that she had been taken to Intensive Care. No one could tell me any more when I enquired after her, and I’ve been worrying ever since…I keep seeing her little girl in my mind.’
‘I heard just a short time ago that the surgery was successful and that she’s making a good rec
overy. They’re keeping her under observation, but I think she’ll do just fine.’
Hannah let out a slow breath. ‘I’m so relieved. I was afraid that there might be some nasty complications.’
‘That was always on the cards, but our thoracic surgeon is exceptionally skilled, and he tried out a fairly new technique. He sealed the injury with a stent graft to control the haemorrhage. Instead of doing major surgery, he inserted an introducer sheath into the femoral artery and pushed the self-expanding stent into place using a special device. Doing things this new way means that there’s minimal surgical damage, and it has a good success rate.’
‘She’s been fortunate, then, in a way?’
‘You could say that.’ He sent her a quick glance, his gaze flicking over her and taking in her soft cotton top and the skirt that clung to her hips and kicked out in a gentle swirl below her knees. ‘But it was thanks to your careful observation that she survived at all. You should be pleased with yourself.’
It was strong praise, coming from him, and warm colour tinged her cheeks. ‘I was anxious for her. It was instinct, really.’
‘Maybe.’ He looked thoughtful, but his grey eyes gave nothing away.
‘I should go,’ she said. ‘Abby and Ellie will be waiting for me.’
‘I won’t keep you, then.’ His searching gaze made her uncomfortably aware of the simplicity of her summer outfit. It wasn’t anything special, and she wished she knew what he was thinking. Only the light jacket she was wearing was the same one that she had worn when Ryan had come with her the other day to A and E. Had he noticed that? Had it stirred memories in him? It shouldn’t disturb her after all this time, should it? There was always going to be a barrier between him and Ryan.
He watched her turn to go on her way, and as she walked away from him she felt the heat of his gaze on the back of her neck. It didn’t mean anything, of course, that he was keeping his attention fixed on her. It was more than likely that he was simply remembering her connection with Ryan, and was questioning whether he had seen the last of him.
She went to meet up with Abby and Ellie, who was brimming over with excitement at the thought of the trip that lay ahead. ‘Is we going on a big boat?’ she asked, her eyes wide, then added in a sudden afterthought, ‘What if I fall in the water?’
‘We’re not going to let you fall in,’ Abby said, chuckling. ‘You’ll be quite safe, I promise.’
They boarded the boat at Westminster Pier, and stood on deck, watching the waters of the Thames and the riverside scenery, as they cruised along by the South Bank.
The sun was a shimmering, golden globe, and there was only a faint breeze, making it ideal for their day out. Abby stood against the boat rail, looking out over the water, and said thoughtfully, ‘I meant to ask you how your foster-brother’s day out went. Did he go and visit the woods?’
‘Yes, he did. He said they were well worth seeing. He even jotted down some notes and made a few quick sketches. He showed them to me, and they’re really good. He’s quite artistic, but he doesn’t often put his talent into practice.’
‘I’m glad it worked out for him. He seemed a bit down when I talked to him.’
Hannah nodded. ‘Yes, I noticed that, too. I think he was a little brighter in himself when he came home, though.’ Ryan still hadn’t told her any more about why he was in debt, or how the damage to his accommodation had been caused, and she worried about that. She had believed that he had put his rebellious years behind him and she had faith in him that he had changed for the better. Even so, she wished she knew what was going on.
She glanced at Abby. ‘What about you? Are you all right? You don’t seem to be your usual self today.’
‘I’m fine, I think. It’s probably just that I’m fighting off a virus of some sort. I’ve been a bit headachy lately, but I expect it’s just a cold coming on. That’s why I didn’t go with you to see Dean earlier today. I thought if I had a coffee and a couple of paracetamol I would start to feel better.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Hannah was dismayed. ‘We could have done this another day, you know, if you’re not feeling well.’
Abby smiled. ‘No, I wanted to come out today, rather than be stuck at home in the flat, and I didn’t want to let Ellie down. She’s been talking about this trip all week.’
Ellie started waving a hand in the air. ‘What’s that?’ she said, pointing to a place on the riverside. The huge circle of the London Eye rose up against the blue back-cloth of cloudless sky, and Abby hugged her and explained what it was, pointing out the glass capsules where people stood and looked out at the view over the city.
‘We’ll have a ride on it one day,’ Abby promised.
Ellie nodded, looking pleased about that, and then pointed a finger towards the London Aquarium building. ‘We been there,’ she said gently. Then she frowned. ‘I didn’t like the big fish. They was big as this…’
She spread her arms wide to show her, and Hannah laughed. ‘It’s a good thing they were in a huge tank, then.’
Their journey took them past the Tower of London and the remarkable sight of the Millennium Dome before they started back towards Westminster Pier.
Ellie was enthralled by her sightseeing cruise. ‘Can we go on the boat again another day?’ she asked, when they were back on dry land some time later. They started to walk towards the nearest tube station.
‘Yes, I expect so,’ Abby told her. ‘You had a good time, then?’
Ellie nodded vigorously. ‘I liked seeing the ducks,’ she said. ‘They was the bestest.’
Hannah and Abby exchanged wry looks. ‘We could have taken her to the park, if that was all she wanted,’ Abby murmured ruefully.
Hannah smiled, and glanced at her friend. ‘Are you feeling worse?’ she asked. ‘You’re looking a bit off colour.’
‘I don’t feel too good,’ Abby admitted, ‘and my headache’s really bad now. I’m not sure quite what’s brought it on, because I’ve had a lovely, restful day.’
‘Perhaps we should go and sit down somewhere for a while?’
‘That’s probably a good idea.’
By the time they reached a café, though, Abby had taken a turn for the worse, and Hannah was beginning to be really worried about her. Her friend was feverish, and some of what she was saying was starting to make no sense at all. Hannah sat her down on a bench seat, and Abby slumped sideways.
‘Why isn’t Mummy talking to me any more?’ Ellie asked. ‘Is she poorly?’
‘Yes, Ellie. She’s very poorly. I think we need to get someone to help us to look after her.’
Hannah checked Abby’s pulse. It was lower than it should be, and her consciousness was slipping. From the look of her, this was more than just a simple viral infection.
Hannah took out her phone and called for an ambulance. ‘I’m going to try and get your mummy to hospital,’ she told Ellie. ‘The doctors and nurses will be able to look after her there, and they’ll try to make her well again.’
Ellie was unusually quiet. Abby’s skin was hot to the touch, and Hannah tried to cool her down by drenching a handkerchief in cold, bottled water and applying it to her brow. It didn’t seem to be having much effect.
By the time the ambulance came, Abby was starting to convulse. Hannah shielded her from Ellie so that the child would not be upset any more than was necessary, and once they were in the ambulance, Hannah tended to her friend.
‘Will you let A and E know that there are signs of raised intracranial pressure?’ she asked the paramedic. ‘I’m very worried about her. I think we’ll need to do a CT scan.’
‘I’ll do that,’ the paramedic said. ‘We’ll get her to hospital as soon as possible.’
Adam met her in the ambulance bay. As soon as he had made a swift examination, he instructed his team to take Abby for a scan and electroencephalogram. ‘You should stay back,’ he told Hannah. ‘Let us deal with her.’
‘But she’s my friend,’ Hannah protested. ‘I want to do something for her.’<
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‘I know you do, but perhaps you should stay and take care of the little girl for a while. She must be confused enough as it is.’
He was right, of course, and Hannah put an arm around Ellie and led her away. She was shocked and upset by the way things had turned out, but she had to be strong for the child’s sake.
‘What’s wrong with my mummy?’ Ellie asked again.
‘I don’t know, sweetheart. The doctor will come and tell us as soon as he’s taken care of her.’ She turned the child towards the doctors’ lounge. ‘We’ll go to the room where the doctors have their coffee-breaks,’ she told her. ‘There’s a table in there, and you can sit and draw for a while.’ She might even be able to borrow some toys from one of the waiting rooms. They would help to take Ellie’s mind off things for a time.
When they reached the lounge, she settled Ellie by the table. ‘Would you like some ice cream? I think there might be some in our fridge.’
Ellie nodded, but didn’t say anything more. She sat and drew pictures on paper that Hannah found for her and played with the toys, and Hannah waited for news.
It was a long time coming. Eventually, Adam came into the room and said quietly, ‘We’re going to admit her. We’ve done a lumbar puncture and taken throat swabs so that we can be clearer as to what’s happening. I suspect that the inflammation of her brain is being caused by a viral infection, so we’re treating that with an infusion of an antiviral drug, acyclovir, along with mannitol to minimise the swelling of the brain tissues. It’s too early to see results just yet, but there hasn’t been any change for the worse, and that’s something to be thankful for.’
Hannah nodded. ‘Thank you for taking care of her. Can I go up and see her?’
‘You can, but she’s still not very responsive and she needs to rest. Make it a quick visit.’
‘I will. I think it might help Ellie if she can see her mother for a moment or two before I take her home.’