by Amber Garza
Anger burns through me. “Why won’t you? Why do you want me anyway? I don’t even know you.”
“But you know Tag.” His expression darkens, hate written on his features. “That’s all that matters.”
I bite my lip. Scouring the area I don’t see anyone, and my stomach drops. “Why do you hate him so much?”
“My sister was all I had in this world, and he took her from me.” His eyes are black, soulless.
I nod. “I get that. I blamed the person I thought was responsible for my sister’s death for years.”
“Oh yeah? Who was it?”
“Me,” I answer so quietly I fear he hasn’t heard.
But his eyebrows shoot up, telling me he has.
“I was with my sister when she drowned. We were fighting. And I couldn’t save her.” I sit forward, needing him to hear me. “But you know what? It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t anyone’s. It was an accident.”
“Ginny’s death was different. It wasn’t an accident. He broke her heart.”
“Was Ginny happy? I mean, before Tag broke up with her?”
Axel narrows his eyes. “Doesn’t matter. She was sadder afterward.”
I pause, knowing I have to tread carefully. He’s been holding on to this grudge for years. “Axel, I know it’s hard to lose someone you love. Someone who means the world to you. But revenge isn’t the answer. It’s not going to make you feel better.” Waves lap against the side of the boat gently. But I know the water isn’t gentle. I know how menacing and strong it can be.
“What do you know about it?” He snorts. “You don’t strike me as the revenge-seeking type.”
“Maybe not, but I held on to my own shame and guilt and it almost destroyed me.” I pitch my body forward and move closer to Axel, hoping I can reach him somehow. “It wasn’t until I let go of it that I was able to be free.”
“Harper!” At the sound of Tag’s voice my head jerks up. I can barely make out his silhouette on the shore.
Before I can respond, I’m yanked by my hair and pulled to a standing position. “I can’t believe I almost fell for your act, you little bitch.”
I gasp for breath, my scalp burning. On wobbly legs I work hard to stay upright.
“Give your boyfriend one last wave.” I inhale sharply as Axel shoves me overboard. The cold water knocks the wind out of me. In a last-ditch effort, I attempt to claw my way back into the boat, but my hands are slick, and I fall into the frigid waves.
“Harper!” I hear Tag’s voice again, muffled and faraway sounding as my body sinks into the water. It’s exactly like before. I reach up toward the surface, but it keeps getting further and further away. I kick with my legs and grab at the water with my hands, but it’s no use. The water slips through my fingers like air. I don’t know how to swim.
I remember Tag’s words that night at the yogurt shop. What if one day you’re on a boat? It’s like he knew. He always was trying to protect me.
Oh, Tag, you were right to want to teach me. I’m so sorry.
My lungs burn as if fire is licking its way up my esophagus as I make my descent into the murky waters. As the air leaves me, I picture Tag’s face. The way he said he loved me, that he was proud of me. I remember the way he held me and touched me, the way his lips felt on mine.
28
TAG
MY HEART STOPS when she’s flung into the water. If only we’d finished her lessons. I pray that she somehow holds on to the boat. But I watch in horror as her fingers slip and she goes under. Shit. This can’t be happening.
“Harper!” I holler, hoping she can hear me, hoping my voice gives her courage to fight. As quickly as I can, I race into the water. As I dive in the waves, I hear the sirens.
I called 911 the minute I got off the phone with Harper because I knew Axel had taken her. Luckily for me they’d already had an anonymous tip from someone who’d seen him chasing her on my street. Once I knew they weren’t at my house, I had this sinking feeling he’d take her to the beach. It’s completely Axel’s style. An eye for an eye. A drowning for a drowning.
Comforted by the fact that I have backup, I swim with all my might through the rocky waves. The cold water steals my breath, but I don’t let it stop me. The girl I love is down in the water somewhere and I have to find her. I can’t live without her. I need her in my life.
Fueled by my love for her, I swim even faster. Faster than ever before. This is the rescue of my life. It means more to me than any other I’ve ever done. As I plunge deep into the water, I pray that I will find her in time. I pray that I won’t lose her like I did my dad. I pray that God will spare her life and give me another chance.
I pray for redemption once and for all.
A splash of blond hair comes into my line of vision. My heart skips a beat. Harper. She’s limp and falling. Please let her be alive. My lungs are aching for a breath, my throat is killing me. But I can’t go to the surface now. Not when she’s so close. I lunge forward, and grab her in my arms. Once I’ve got her I wrap one arm around her and then pump the water with the other, fighting hard. The waves hit me, pushing me down, but I struggle against them. Remembering all my training and using every ounce of strength I have, I swim to the surface. Once I break it, I suck in a desperate breath, careful to keep Harper’s head above water. An ambulance is on the shore, and I swim toward it holding Harper up. I don’t bother looking for Axel. The cops can deal with him. I keep my gaze trained on Harper. It kills me to see her cheek swollen and bruised. Axel better hope the cops find him, because if I ever see him again I’m going to make him pay for laying a hand on my girl.
My legs and arms tire, but I don’t care. I keep fighting. I keep swimming. She’s still, too still, and I can’t tell if she’s breathing. I can’t lose her. I won’t. Red and blue lights illuminate the sky. Paramedics race toward us. My strength is waning. The waves are becoming my worst enemy. I pray I can make it. I pray I can save Harper. A surge of adrenaline rushes through me and I start to move quicker.
A paramedic makes his way to me. Grateful, I hand Harper to him. Once she’s safely in his arms, I collapse into the water with relief, hoping he can save her. Hoping it isn’t too late.
29
HARPER
I AWAKE IN a strange room. Panic chokes me. The walls are bare and white with one lone TV on the wall. A curtain hangs near me, and beeping fills the quiet room. In the distance I hear loud chatter and footsteps. I’m hooked up to machines with tubes and IV’s.
“Harper?” Tag’s voice brings me comfort. I’m alive. And so is Tag.
“Tag?” I crane my neck.
He moves toward my bed and bends down. I reach out and touch his face, fingering the stubble along his chin. He looks amazing, and my heart flutters.
“Thank God you’re alright.” He kisses my cheek softly. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if anything had happened to you.”
“You came for me,” I say, remembering him standing on the shore calling my name. “You saved me, didn’t you?”
Tag nods. “Well, with the help of the paramedics. They’re the ones who revived you, but I pulled you out of the water.”
“You’re such a good lifeguard.”
Tag’s head lowers.
“But more than that, you’re such a good man.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know about that. If it weren’t for me, you never would’ve been in this situation.”
“Hey.” I rub my thumb over his jaw. “This wasn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t let guilt and shame eat you up. Then you’ll end up like Axel. But you’re not him. You are good and kind.” I lower my hand, pressing it to his chest. “And you’ve got a good heart. I know. I’ve seen it.”
Tag knots our fingers together. “I love you so much, Harper.”
“I love you too.” I smile, but it hurts, and I wince.
Anger flashes in Tag’s eyes. “I hate that he hurt you. God, if only I’d been there.”
“Where were you?�
��
“I went to find Axel. I thought if I could deal with him while you were safe in my house I could keep you out of it.”
My chest swells. “Thank you for trying to protect me, but I’m glad you didn’t find him.”
“You are?” He looks shocked.
“Yeah. I was with the guy. He hates you.” I squeeze his hand. “Who knows what he would’ve done to you.”
“Well, it was a stupid plan anyway since all I did was walk into a trap. I gave him the perfect opportunity to get you. I’ll never forgive myself for letting him hurt you.”
“Tag,” I say firmly. “Don’t say that. Stop beating yourself up. I’m fine. We’re fine, and we’re together.”
“And Axel can’t hurt us anymore,” Tag adds, circling his thumb over my palm.
My pulse quickens. “The cops found him?”
“Yeah, and he admitted to everything I guess. Not to mention the fact that they found drugs on him. Hopefully he’ll be put away for awhile.”
I exhale, and shift my position in the bed.
“Harper?” My body goes rigid at the sound of my dad’s voice. Tag notices, and he tightens his hold on my hand. As Mom and Dad file into the room, the air seems to shift. Where there was love and peace, now there is tension. Tension so thick I can feel it like sticky humidity.
“Oh, my god. I can’t believe this is happening again.” Mom covers her mouth with her hand, her eyes widening in horror.
“Mom, I’m fine,” I say through gritted teeth, wishing she wouldn’t make this about Heather. Tag’s gaze meets mine, and he gives me an encouraging smile. Thank goodness he’s here. I couldn’t do this without him. Mom rushes to me, picking up the hand Tag isn’t holding. Dad stands off to the side, his eyes narrowed, and his arms hanging limply by his sides as if he doesn’t know what to do with them. I’m sure he’s angry with me for ruining whatever plans he had for today.
“That’s what the doctor said too. That you’re fine now,” Mom says, as is if trying to convince herself that it’s true.
“Yes,” Tag answers. “She’s good as new.” Then he glances down at my battered face. “Well, almost.”
“Oh, Tag. Thank you so much for saving our baby. If you hadn’t…well…” Her lips quiver, and her voice trails off.
“How did this even happen?” Dad speaks gruffly from the corner. “I mean, after everything we’ve been through it seems crazy.”
My chest tightens, constricting my breath. Is he really blaming me?
“Sir, it’s my fault.” Tag stands.
“No,” I speak loudly. “It’s not.”
“It is. The guy who took her was after me,” he says firmly.
“What exactly are you involved in, son?” Dad nears him, puffing out his chest.
“Dad,” I snap, finally ready to say the words I’ve wanted to say my entire life. “Tag’s a great guy. He loves me and he protects me. He saved me. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. He’s been more caring and kind to me than you ever have been. He doesn’t treat me like I’m some sorry replacement for the person he really wants. He doesn’t blame me for someone else’s death.”
“What are you talking about?” Dad sputters, his face reddening.
“Oh, come on, Dad. It’s no secret that Heather was your favorite. Heather’s the one you want.”
Dad’s face softens, his eyes crinkling around the corners. Mom’s hand flies to her mouth, and she trembles. Tag stands perfectly still, taking in the scene.
I gather up the courage to say it all. “Heather was always your favorite, and I know that when you pulled me out of the water it was because you didn’t know which one I was. And I know that you were disappointed when you realized that you saved the wrong daughter.”
“Harper, is that what you think?” Dad moves closer to my bed. He looks so different than he had moments before – less imposing, more torn.
I nod.
“No. I don’t feel that way.” He stares at me as if seeing me for the first time. “I never meant to make you think that. I guess I was so sad after losing Heather, but not in the way you think. I never wanted to lose either of you. I loved you both equally. In fact, I was so grateful that you were alive. I couldn’t have endured losing you both. And I never once thought the wrong daughter died. I would’ve been just as heartbroken had it been you.” He lifts my hand, the one Tag had been holding moments earlier. It’s one of the first times Dad has touched me in years. “After losing Heather, I think I just distanced myself from everyone. I guess I’ve been scared to open up. Scared to feel that pain again. But I do love you, Harper. So much.”
I bite my lip, tears skimming my eyes. Swallowing hard, I glance over at Tag. A broad smile sweeps his face, and he gives me a subtle nod. Turning back to Dad, I say the words I’ve longed to since I was a child, “I love you too.”
30
TAG
I GIVE HARPER some time alone with her parents and head to the cafeteria for some coffee. I’m not sure how much longer Harper will have to be here, but I’m not leaving her side ever again. The last time I did she almost died. As I round the corner, I bump into a lady hurrying down the hall.
“Mom?” I don’t bother masking my surprise.
She wears jeans and a black top. Her hair is combed and soft. Honestly, she looks nice. Kind of the way she used to look. “Hi, Tag.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see Harper,” she answers like this is completely normal. As if she always leaves the house and goes places. Like she visits people often. Not like she hasn’t left the house in years.
“Mom, did you drive here?”
She nods. “Of course. I know how to drive.”
“Yes, I know you do, but I haven’t seen you do it in years.”
“Harper is important to you, so that makes her important to me. When I found out she was hurt, I had to come.”
“Thanks.” I touch her arm. “I appreciate it.”
A nurse hurries past, pushing a patient on a stretcher. Mom’s gaze flickers to them and then she hugs herself. Her eyes seem to glaze over for a second.
“Mom, you okay?”
She shakes her head, snapping out of it. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“You don’t have to do this. I can tell Harper you came by if you need to get outta here.”
She raises her head high. “No. I’ve seen how much Harper has changed you. You’re more free and happy now that you have her. I want that too. I’m tired of letting you down, of letting everyone down. I’m tired of letting this sadness ruin my life.”
“Really?” I want to believe her, but I’m skeptical. Depression isn’t something you can take on and off like a pair of shoes.
As if reading my mind she says, “I know it won’t be easy, and it won’t be overnight, but I’m willing to try. I called my therapist, and I’m going to resume my sessions. If I need medicine, I’ll take it. I want to be me again.”
“I’m proud of you, Mom.” For the first time in years, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. This is the biggest step Mom has ever taken, and even if she falls sometimes, I know she’ll reach her destination. I can see the determination in her eyes. And I know that this wouldn’t have happened without Harper.
That girl has changed all of us. She’s turned my world upside down in the best way.
I usher Mom into Harper’s room as her parents are getting ready to leave. After making introductions, Mom moves toward Harper’s bed.
Before he leaves, Harper’s dad clamps a hand on my shoulder. “Can I talk to you for a minute in private?”
My stomach drops all the way to the floor. In fact, I suspect remnants of it are still there as we head out into the hall. By the serious look on his face, I suspect this isn’t going to go well. A doctor, flanked by two nurses, shuffles past us, his pants whispering with each step. A woman walks by, moisture in her eyes. I lean against the wall and wait for Mr. Elliott to speak.
“Listen, I didn’t mean t
o attack you in there,” he starts, and it’s not what I was expecting. “It’s just I got so upset seeing my little girl like that. But I’m so grateful that you rescued her. Harper loves you, and I can see that you love her too. So I wanted you to know that you’re welcome at our house anytime.”
I nod. “Thank you, Mr. Elliott. I really appreciate that.”
“Well, I suspect you’ll be staying with her until she’s released?”
“Of course I will. I won’t leave her side.”
“Good man.” He slaps me on the back. “I’m glad she has you looking out for her.”
“I always will.”
“I know. I can see that.” He smiles, tipping his head to me, and then spins on his heels. Harper’s mom throws me a wave as they catch up with each other. I watch as they retreat down the hall. This day keeps getting better and better.
31
HARPER
IT’S BEEN MONTHS since my near-death experience. Sometimes I still have nightmares, but even those are waning. Tag gives me something wonderful to dream about. In fact, every once in awhile I have to practically pinch myself because of my good fortune. I never thought my life could be this great, this incredibly perfect. My parents and I still have our issues, but we’ve come a long way from where we were. And I have Tag. That’s truly the best part. He makes life amazing.
After I recovered from the attack, Tag and I resumed my swimming lessons. Drowning is not something I want to experience again. Besides, I want to be involved in every aspect of Tag’s life. The water is something he loves, it pumps through his veins and resides in his heart. Also, I truly do like seeing him shirtless. And the feeling of his arms around me in the water is something I could experience every day and never grow tired of it.
Today is my final lesson. Tag and I sit on our beach towels in the sand, preparing for it. Last time I took a few strokes without his help, but then I panicked. This time I want to do it. I want to make him proud. Pulling the sunblock out of my bag, I flip the top and squirt some on my leg. Funny how much tanner I’ve gotten in the past few weeks than I ever thought possible. I’ve always been blindingly white. I thought it was because I couldn’t tan, but now I think it’s because I rarely went out in the sun.