by Diane Allen
‘What’s going on? Meg, are you alright? What are you crying for?’ Jack looked shocked at the temper Harry was in, and concerned for Meg as she stood crying in Lizzie’s arms.
‘No, she’s not bloody alright, lad! She’s carrying your bastard brother’s bairn. He should have had his balls cut off at birth, that ’un. Then there wouldn’t have been all this heartache in the dale. Now, bugger off and tell your mouthy mother that she can be proud of her favourite son, because he’s just spoilt another young girl’s life,’ Harry raged and opened the shop door for Jack to leave.
Jack was taken aback. He didn’t know what to say, and stood looking at the women sobbing and Harry raging. Meg was pregnant by his dead brother. What was he to do?
‘I’m not leaving until I know Meg’s alright. I’m not the same as our Sam, never have been. I warned you, didn’t I, Meg? He never loved anybody; he used them for his pleasure. He may have been my brother, but he was a bastard when it came to women. And I’m sorry that he’s left you in this state.’ Jack hung his head. ‘Please don’t judge me by his standards. I think dearly of Meg, but I respect her too much to do as Sam did by her. I’d never do that outside marriage.’ He looked across at Meg and tried to smile at the embarrassed lass, whom he thought so dearly of. He loved her, but she was not his to love any more, now she was carrying his brother’s child.
‘Aye, well, get your arse home. It’ll be me and her parents that have to sort it.’ Harry closed the shop door behind Jack as he left, and turned the sign round. ‘Now, let’s sit down and see what can be done about it. I’ve said my bit, and now I’ll calm down. It’s no good crying over spilt milk.’ He looked at Lizzie and Meg as they comforted one another and cursed under his breath. He was going to be the one Tom and Agnes blamed for her state, and now he was wishing he’d never asked Meg to stay.
Betty Alderson had put up with her son’s surly looks and mood all day and she’d had enough by supper time. ‘What’s brought about this long face on you tonight? Have you run out of brass, and come to your senses about leaving your poor old mother and a perfectly good home?’ She looked across the supper table at her son as she ate her bacon and egg.
‘There’s nowt wrong with me. I’ve just got a lot on my mind. The sooner I get away from here, the better,’ Jack spat back. ‘I can never do right by you, no matter what I do. You can please yourself whether you come with me or not. Either way, I’ll still support you, because I’ll work a few days at the mine to make enough brass.’ He wiped the yolk of his egg from his plate with his last bit of crust and looked at his mother.
‘You said you’d never go back, after Sam died. That you couldn’t face it! So there’s no need to do that for me – the parish will see me right.’ Betty cleared the table and turned her back on her son, as he pushed his chair back and grabbed for his coat, to face the wild, wet night that had set in around the dale. ‘Where do you think you are going at this time of night?’ she asked.
‘It’s best you don’t know, Mother. But there’s something I’ve to do, and I’ve got to do it before morning, else it will be too late – if indeed I’m not too late already.’ Jack quickly put his coat on, turning up his collar against the wind and rain as he walked out with purpose.
He knocked heavily on the back door of the shop, in the hope that he was not too late with the proposal he had thought about all day.
‘Bloody hell, you’ve got a nerve. I told you to piss off. We never want to see your family again,’ Harry said as he opened the door, letting the dim lamplight from within fall on to Jack’s sodden features.
‘Please, give me a minute with Meg – if I’m not too late and she’s not gone home already. Please, Mr Battersby. It’s vital that she hears what I have to say.’
‘She’ll not want to see you, lad. She’s upstairs packing, and tomorrow I’m taking her home.’ Harry started to close the door on his unwelcome visitor, but Jack stopped him, wedging his foot in the doorway and pulling it back open.
‘She can’t go home until she’s heard what I’ve got to say. And then, if she still wants you to take her home, you’ll not see me again,’ Jack pleaded.
‘Let him in, Harry. After all, he’s done Meg no harm; he’ll just want to say his goodbyes,’ Lizzie yelled, looking up from her knitting and listening to Jack’s pleas, which filled her with sympathy.
‘He’d better bloody well behave himself, else I’ll have him. It’ll not only be his brother in the graveyard,’ Harry growled as he let Jack into the warmth and shelter of the back room. ‘I’ll give Meg a shout. Whatever you’ve got to say to her, you can say in front of us all here, as I’ll never trust one of your kind ever again.’ He walked over to the bottom of the stairs and yelled for Meg and then, scowling, came back to his seat next to the fire.
‘Sit yourself down at the table, lad. She won’t be long.’ Lizzie smiled and saw the worry on Jack’s face. ‘She’ll be glad to see you – she needs a friend.’
‘Phh!’ Harry commented as he heard the stair-boards creak and Meg appeared.
‘Are you alright, Meg? You look tired.’ Jack looked across at the girl, who only the other day had been full of joy and happiness.
‘I’m alright, thank you, Jack. Now, what do you want to see me about? I’m going home tomorrow; it will be for the best.’ Meg hung her head and fought back the tears.
‘I wanted to ask you this in private, but perhaps it is something everyone should hear anyway.’ Jack breathed in and felt himself tremble inside, with fear and anticipation of the answer he was hoping to get from Meg. ‘Will you marry me, Megan Oversby? I know I’m not our Sam, and I know I’m not the baby’s father, but I’m the next best thing. And damn it, Meg, I love you – and have done since the first day I set eyes on you at Hawes Market Hall dance.’
Harry and Lizzie looked at Meg as tears filled her eyes. She shook her head. ‘No, I can’t let you do that. You are asking me out of sympathy. I think a great deal of you, but a few weeks ago I thought I was in love with your brother, and I can’t burden you with his child’s upbringing.’
‘Meg, it will be no burden. I love you, and hopefully you will grow to love me. We have a home ready-made, which your child will make complete, when he or she comes along. I’ll raise it as my own. And whether you tell your parents now that you are pregnant, or after we are wed, it makes no difference to me.’ Jack reached for Meg’s hand across the table. ‘Marry me, Meg. You’ll not regret it, I promise you.’
‘Meg, think of what Jack is saying to you. He’s asking you to marry him, offering to give the child a father and you both a home. There’s many a man would turn his back on you, but he’s willing to give you everything he has.’ Harry looked at the lad who was offering her a new start in life and breathed in deeply.
‘It’s a good thing that you are doing, Jack Alderson. You must love the lass,’ Lizzie whispered as she looked at Meg, who was sitting sobbing.
‘I do. I love her with every breath that I take. I only wish she felt the same way about me, or could promise me that one day she might.’ Jack looked up at Meg and smiled. ‘I’m not asking out of sympathy. If anything, I’m being selfish, as I don’t want anybody else to have you in their life.’ Jack looked at Meg and smiled. ‘Say yes, and try to grow to love me, and then I’ll be the happiest man in the world. We could go and see your parents in the morning, just as you planned; ask your father’s permission to be wed and then arrange for the banns to be read and be married before Christmas. No one need ever know that you are with child, until the baby arrives early. Please say yes,’ Jack pleaded.
Meg shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I do care for you. In fact, I’ve enjoyed our last few days together. But what if my father doesn’t agree to our marriage – what then?’
‘Then we will have to tell the truth to the minister; tell him that you are with child, so that he can apply for a licence for us, and you will have to say that you are of full age when you sign the register. Many a marriage is undertaken that way, wh
en the circumstances demand it. But I’d rather have your parents’ permission first.’
Meg raised her head and looked at Jack. ‘Then I will marry you, Jack Alderson, and I will be forever in your debt. And I will grow to love you, of that I’m sure.’ She smiled and then burst into another round of tears. She was a long way from being out of the trouble she was in, but at least she had a man standing by her now and a home, once wed.
‘Aye, lad, you’ve no need to take this on your shoulders. It is your brother’s doing,’ Harry said as he went to shake Jack’s hand.
‘He was a fool. And besides, I do love Meg, she just never knew it. But she does now.’ Jack smiled across at her and watched as she composed herself.
‘I think it’s lovely, and hopefully things will work out between you both and Meg’s parents will agree to your plans. Everyone should have somebody to love them.’ Lizzie cried into her handkerchief.
‘Aye, well, tomorrow we’ll have to face your parents, Meg, so let’s hope they agree to our marriage and then all will be well.’ Jack looked worried. It wasn’t only Meg’s parents they had to tell; it was his mother too, and she was sure to have something to say about it all.
‘You are a bloody idiot, marrying that lass who you hardly know! I don’t know what’s got into your head of late – renting a farm, getting wed and going to the Literary Institute. Just look at all these books you brought back, putting rubbish into your head.’ Betty gazed at the pile of books that Jack had been reading of an evening. ‘What do you think you are, summat special? Tha’s a miner, lad, and you should be proud of it,’ she yelled at her son as he told her his news.
‘I’m trying to better myself, Mother. And with Meg at my side, I’ll prove that I can. Renting The Rash is only the start. I mean to work hard and buy more land and become someone.’ Jack stood his ground.
‘Well, you’ll be doing it without me, because I think you’ve lost your senses and it’s all down to that lass. I wish she’d never set foot in the dale,’ Betty cried as she watched her eldest son storm out of the kitchen door. ‘Don’t bother coming back here. This is no longer your home – you’ve no respect for me, and our Sam was twice the man you are,’ she shouted after Jack, collapsing in her usual chair and sobbing as she watched him disappear down the garden path.
24
‘Tom, look – our Meg is coming up the field. She is on horseback behind that lad who came with her and Harry to tell us the lad was not Dan.’
Agnes rushed out into the porch, leaving Tom sitting by the fire. She waved at them both as they entered the yard and watched as they dismounted and tied up the horse next to the barn.
‘Now, this is a surprise. What’s brought this on? Were you missing home?’ She kissed Meg on her cheek and smiled at Jack as he followed in her footsteps into the family home. ‘Sit yourself down, Jack. You’ll have a cup of tea and something to eat?’ She fussed around her guests.
‘So you’ve decided to visit us for a change, have you, lass? Now that Dan has buggered off. I still can’t believe I was taken in by him.’ Tom looked across at the young couple. ‘It’s a good job you knew him, else he’d have still been here.’ He smiled at Jack and then looked at Meg, noticing that they both were quiet and seemed worried.
‘I’d like to have a word with you, sir, if I may?’ Jack fidgeted and felt awkward in front of Meg’s parents. He realized they hardly knew him and he hardly knew them, so what he was about to ask would not be easy.
Meg could feel her stomach churning. She’d been dreading this moment and had hardly slept last night for going over it in her mind.
‘Well, whatever it is you are wanting to say, you’d better get on with it. Else you are going to break that teacup you are holding, your hands are shaking that much,’ Tom joked, noticing Jack’s hand shivering with nerves as Agnes passed him a cup of tea.
‘I wish to have your permission to marry your daughter, Meg.’ Jack stopped in his tracks and watched Tom’s face set like thunder and Agnes gasp in surprise. ‘I know it’s a shock, but I love her and I want to wed her. I have the means to see that she will want for nowt,’ he carried on, and then fell silent as Tom spat in the fire and looked at him.
‘Get yourself outside, Meg, with your mother. I need to talk to this lad alone. He’s got ideas above his station and he’ll not be marrying you, once I’ve finished with him.’ Tom glared at all three, as Agnes pulled on Meg’s arm to join her outside and not interfere with men’s talk and her father’s anger.
‘But he does love me, Father, and we will marry,’ Meg yelled.
‘Shush, child! Come outside with me and let your father have his say.’ Agnes pulled on Meg’s arm and took her out into the garden, where she made her daughter sit down beside her on the garden seat, as Meg put her head in her hands and cried.
‘Whisht now, lass. You hardly know the lad, to be giving your heart away so easily. There will be more men yet to come in your life, and your father wished for so much more – and better – for you. As soon as you left the last time, once he’d calmed down over that Dan business, he remembered Jack’s face from summer, when he and his brother knocked on our door looking for work. He’s a miner, isn’t he? Albeit he’s just rented a small farm. You can do much better than that, lass.’ Agnes put her arm around her daughter and felt her shaking.
‘He is a miner, but he loves me and I need him,’ Meg cried and looked at her mum.
‘You need him – you don’t say that you love him? Is there something else you should be telling me, our Meg? You’re not carrying his child, are you? Is that what this is all about?’ Agnes looked at her daughter and could see that she had hit the nail on the head. Her daughter was pregnant, and desperate. ‘Eh, lass, I daren’t tell your father – he’ll go mad. God help us both, because it will be all our fault, and he’ll kill that lad in there if he confesses to being the father.’
‘It was a mistake, but he does love me, Mum, and he’s a good man.’ Meg looked with pleading eyes at her mother. She needed her help, but no sooner had she said the words than Jack came ranting out of the farmhouse.
‘Meg! Meg, where are you? We are going home. I can get no sense from your bloody father – he’s having none of it. He won’t listen to a bloody word that I say.’ Jack swore and went and untethered his horse, with Tom following close behind him.
‘If you go with him, you need never come back here again, madam. I wash my hands of you, and don’t think your mother and I will be trailing over to Swaledale to beg you to come back, either.’ Tom watched as Meg pulled away from her mother and took Jack’s hand to help her mount up behind him.
‘Tom, think of what you are saying. History is repeating itself. Your father did this with your sister, and look at how that ended. This is your daughter – give them your blessing and let them wed properly.’ Agnes pulled on Tom’s arm, beseeching him not to be so hasty.
‘Shut up, woman. He’s no way near good enough for her, and he knows it. I tell you what: I’m washing my bloody hands of that Harry and all – he’s to blame for this. I should never have let Meg go over there to him.’ Tom cursed as Jack and Meg looked down on him from their seat on the dapple horse.
‘We will be wed, with or without your permission, and I know Meg would like you both there. Perhaps you will have come to your senses by then and will join us.’ Jack kicked the horse’s sides and started to trot down the farm track, with Meg in tears, looking back at the home and the parents that she loved.
‘Did you tell them you were expecting?’ Jack asked Meg as they ambled quietly back down into Swaledale. She had been in tears for most of the journey, and Jack had been calming himself down after the cutting words that Tom had hurled at him.
‘I told my mum. I couldn’t help it. I think she had already guessed anyway. She’ll probably choose her moment to tell my father, and then there will be hell to pay.’
‘I didn’t say anything about the baby. I thought it best not to do so. I’m sorry, I thought they’d be happ
y for us both, but this time he remembered my face from when we called on you in haytime, and he made short work of cutting me down. He was even accusing me of making it up about Dan, so that I could get my hands on his land, once I’d married you.’ Jack lifted Meg down from the horse, once they reached the shop, and looked at her. ‘I do love you.’ He leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on the lips. ‘Tomorrow we will see the minister and set a date and ask for a licence. It’ll make no difference to him, as there’s many a wedding without consent in this dale.’
‘I know, but I wanted my parents to be there. I love them, especially my mum, and she will be heartbroken,’ Meg whispered.
‘Mothers! I’ve to face mine now, and she’ll have all on to speak to me. She’d be different if she knew the truth,’ Jack said quietly.
‘Then tell her! She should be proud of you for covering for your brother,’ Meg said.
‘No, I’ll raise the child you are carrying as my own, and no one except those who already know will ever know any different. It’s our bairn.’ Jack kissed Meg again and then bade her goodnight as he left her outside the shop’s doorway, watching him cross the river bridge back to his home. He wished, for her sake, that her father had agreed to the wedding, but he was a stubborn old sod, just as Meg had warned him. In his eyes, Jack was not good enough for his daughter.
‘Aye, I knew Tom wouldn’t see sense. He’s always had big plans for you, lass. Twenty acres, or just over, isn’t enough for you to be happy with, in his eyes; he’s always had you matched with one of the big landowners down Wensleydale, in his head. And with Jack being a miner to boot, well, that would not suit him at all.’ Harry listened to Meg and felt sympathy for both her and Jack. ‘So what are you going to do now?’