by Trina Solet
Their turn at the door came and they went inside. Staring around the crowded, noise-filled place with the lights pulsing to the beat, Vaughn tried to orient himself. The dance floor was packed and rows of people were lined up at the bar, reaching over each other for their drinks.
Alex was already moving in time to the music, like his body was letting the beat take over. It was the same hard pounding beat that shook his bones, but Vaughn didn't feel the urge to dance. Like any other time he found himself at a club, every cell in his being screamed at him that he didn't belong here.
"I really don't like clubs," he said, not expecting Alex to hear him.
But he did and scolded him for it. "What's not to like, you uptight freak?"
On thinking about it, Vaughn had to admit that Alex's accusation wasn't completely off base. He did have an undeniable uptight streak. But there was more to it than just feeling out of place in the midst of so much hedonistic abandon. "They're a waste of time. I know I won't find the right guy here," he summed up.
"This isn't where you find the right guy. This is where you find someone to dance with," Alex told him.
Vaughn shook his head. He hardly ever danced. He did manage to push his way through the throng of people at the bar and got them two beers. On his way back to where Alex was waiting, Vaughn scanned the crowd but didn't spot Zack or anyone who looked like this tattooed Trudy. Once he was in sight of Alex, he had trouble turning away to look at anyone but him. Before he even asked Alex if he had any luck, he shook his head at him and sighed.
As Vaughn pushed a beer bottle into his hand, he noticed that Alex was watching the dancers with envy. Vaughn groaned. He couldn't believe what he was about to say. "Come on, let's get in there," he said to the bewildered Alex as he pulled him onto the dance floor.
"Seriously?" Alex asked, not believing what Vaughn had done even as they started to dance with beer bottles in their hands.
"If I didn't dance with you, I know I'd never hear the end of it."
"True," Alex agreed. "But you're supposed to be Mr. Responsible, keeping me on the straight and narrow."
"Not tonight." Vaughn had pretty much already proven that.
"That sounds promising. But aren't we supposed to be looking for Zack or Trudy or anyone else who might know something?" Alex reminded him, leaning in to be heard over the music.
"We can dance and look, or do you dance with your eyes closed?" Vaughn asked him with a grin.
Alex leaned in even closer to answer him. "Actually, I do. I lose myself to the beat." Dancing right up against Vaughn, he was speaking directly into his ear, letting his lips brush his earlobe, almost kissing it.
Vaughn shivered and pulled back to look at him. At first Alex's eyes were open and smiling then they fell closed. As soon as they did, Vaughn pulled him closer to anchor him, as if he was afraid that he might lose him to the music, to the lights pulsing over his skin, to the sweaty bodies dancing all around them. He had to hold on tight and let Alex feel him as he danced as he in turn felt every gyration of the other man's body.
His body pumping and swaying to the beat, Alex got thirsty and remembered the beer in his hand. They stopped to drink and also to look around for Trudy and Zack. Vaughn kept hoping they would catch sight of Zack dancing without a care in the world, but so far no luck.
Alex tipped back the bottle to finish off his beer, and Vaughn watched his throat work. Quickly he turned his eyes away from the tempting sight. Everything Alex did was too sexy. Vaughn needed to keep his eyes off him.
Done with his beer, Alex went back to dancing. It was like the music was flowing through him. Alex's body moved against him in a seductive rhythm that made Vaughn want to take him right then and there.
The heavy beat, the closeness of Alex's body, all of it had an intoxicating effect on him. He felt like blood pumped through his veins to match the rhythm or maybe the music timed the beating of his heart, taking control of him. Playfully tugging him closer, Alex moved against him, his eyes hypnotic, his lips too tempting not to be kissed.
Holding his face cupped in his hand, Vaughn gave him a slow, sensual kiss. As Alex's arms locked around Vaughn's neck, the kiss went right through him and melted his bones. Reluctantly, they pulled apart, locked eyes for a moment, then Alex looked over his shoulder and pointed.
"That's Julia and Trudy," Alex said and jumped in place, then his face fell. "I don't see Zack with them."
"He might be around somewhere," Vaughn said as they pushed their way through the crowd. They went up to two girls, one with spiked, red hair the other with long black hair and tattoos. Alex motioned them to a quieter spot so they could talk.
"So it is you," the redheaded girl said to Alex. "I thought I saw you earlier dancing with a bottle in your hand."
"If you saw me, why didn't you come over and say hi?" Alex asked her.
"You mean why didn't I yell at you for bringing a beer bottle to the dance floor?" Julia said to him.
"I was thirsty," Alex said. He didn't even look guilty, just shrugged then quickly shifted the blame by pointing a thumb at Vaughn. "And it was his fault anyway. This is Vaughn. That's Julia. That's Trudy. We were hoping Zack might be with you guys."
"We tried to bring him along. Trudy was all over him. She pushed pretty hard but it was a no go," Julia said.
Trudy nodded. "I didn't want him to be alone for Thanksgiving, so I kept at him until he snapped at me. He said, 'It takes everything I have just to keep going, get through each day and pretend that I'm OK. I don't have the energy to pretend I'm having a good time.' That's when I had to give up."
"I don't like the sound of that," Alex said, looking a little scared.
Vaughn got mad instead. "And after Zack said that, you let him go off by himself?"
"Take it easy," Alex said to him.
"What was I supposed to do, put him in a headlock and drag him here?" Living up to her reputation, Trudy made that sound like a very real possibility. "He's chilling at home. Go see him over there."
"No. We already checked. He is not at his place," Vaughn said, still angry. "And no one knows where he is."
"You guys are real worried?" Julia said.
"He told everyone a different story about where he was going to be tonight," Alex explained. "Zack said he was going to be either at home, with his sister or at Paul's just to get people off his back. Where the hell did he go? Come on, think. We need a lead," Alex demanded of the girls.
Trudy gave it some thought. "He has gotten chummy with one of his coworkers at the 24/7. It's some new guy, just started working there maybe a week ago. He's our age and they hit it off."
"Any chance you have his number?" Alex asked.
"Why would I?"
She didn't know his name either. That meant they were now going to the convenience store right by the campus where Zack worked. They headed out right away.
Chapter 10
The night was cold as they made their way to 24/7 and Alex snuggled up to Vaughn. Vaughn took the hint and put his arm around him. As Alex turned his face to him, worry for Zack clouded his expression, but not for long as Vaughn gave him a soft, brief kiss.
"You aren't so bad," Alex told him with a smile. "I'm surprised someone hasn't snapped you up."
"Seeing how things turned out for you and Zack, I'm not sorry I kept things casual. You and Zack need to stop dating these fixer uppers," Vaughn lectured him. He was really just trying to hide what was on his mind.
Alex still took offense. "What does that mean?"
"Don't go and settle for guys who need work just to be halfway decent. Find a good guy then you won't need to fix him," Vaughn told him evenly. He wasn't hinting. It was just good advice.
Alex answered his well-meaning words with sarcasm. "And you can serve as our role model, oh wise one. You and your perfect, move in ready guy." Alex looked all around Vaughn like he was searching for something. "Where is he anyway? Where is this great guy?"
Vaughn found that he was grinning despit
e himself. The thought that just popped into his head was too stupid. And it couldn't be true. The perfect, great guy couldn't be right in front of him, could he?
The guy in front of Vaughn was annoying and a great kisser. He was a guy who drove him crazy and made him ache inside – a feeling that was both painful and sweet. That feeling was taking over his heart and giving Vaughn all sorts of crazy ideas about their future together.
"What gives? Stop spacing out," Alex told him and elbowed him in the ribs.
"I was just thinking."
"You had a brilliant idea?" Alex prompted him.
Vaughn had to deny that. "No, it was a dumb idea."
"We can use all the ideas right now, even the dumb ones. Spit it out," Alex demanded just as the convenience store where Zack worked came into view at the end of the street.
"Pipe down. I was just thinking that we should have come by the 24/7 before," Vaughn said, both to give Alex some kind of answer and because it was true.
Until now they didn't have a strong reason to come here. They didn't know about this new friend Zack had at work, but that was no excuse. Vaughn should have made sure to cover all the bases. Was he careless all of a sudden because Alex made his head spin? Vaughn looked over at him cautiously, like he thought he might get caught in some kind of vortex if he looked at him full on.
"We had other leads to follow," Alex said to absolve him of blame.
That wasn't all they did though. "I remember a few detours."
"Oh, do you?" Alex teased him and pulled in close, wrapping both arms around Vaughn. That made it awkward to walk side by side but Vaughn didn't mind.
"You don't really think I'm bad at relationships, do you?" Alex asked all of a sudden.
"Bad? No. Of course not."
"Doomed?"
"Why are you asking me this?" Vaughn wondered.
"What's wrong with me then?" Alex asked peevishly.
"Nothing, you just aren't very serious."
Alex was ready to disagree, maybe even get offended, but then he thought better of it. "OK. I'll give you that one. But I can get serious."
"Maybe one day you can prove that to me," Vaughn challenged him. As their eyes met, he had to turn away. Those stunning eyes of his had undone him every time, and Vaughn was too afraid of the next feeling that would come along and throw him for a loop. While he was busy fighting this losing battle against his attraction to Alex, he couldn't remember why he fought so hard.
He wondered how far back that resistance went. When it came to acting on his feelings, it seemed like he had always been telling himself a firm no. Denying what was in his heart was second nature to him. It was drilled into him long ago by the frown on his father's face and all the derision from his brothers.
Looking up at the half bare trees along the sidewalk, Vaughn remembered how the woods around his home town were stark and sad looking after they lost their leaves. As a little kid, he couldn't wait for the first snowfall to bring some cheer to the place.
When he woke up to snow falling and the world turning white outside, he rushed to the window of the bedroom he shared with his brother, Keith. He couldn't contain his excitement as he exclaimed, "Look! Everything is pretty!"
"What are you, a girl?" his brother, Keith, asked offhandedly.
He gave no more thought to what he said than to dropping his dirty clothes on the floor for their mom to pick up. But Vaughn shut his mouth and took the lesson to heart – boys don't find things pretty, or if they do, they stay quiet about it. There was a bigger lesson in that. If you like it, keep it to yourself. Especially if you like another boy.
Keeping quiet about things didn't make his feelings go away though. But there were times when Vaughn worried that his emotions had been smothered. When people accused him of being heartless because of some opinion or article he wrote, he wondered about himself.
He wasn't always like that. Vaughn remembered how as a child he breathlessly waited for snow. Jumping out of bed, he ran to the window every morning to check if it snowed overnight. If it did, he would be bursting with impatience to go outside to feel and taste it and to lie in the freshly fallen snow.
For a long time, Vaughn didn't think anything could make him feel that way again. That kind of simple yearning had died inside him. Until now. Tonight Alex brought back that same sense of anticipation and excitement, of wide-eyed certainty that good things were coming. Nothing had died. Alex just had to work his magic on him.
As they walked to the convenience store, the wind kicked up yellowed leaves and drove them up against the curb and around their feet. They stopped on the sidewalk outside the 24/7 and looked in. Inside the store, they saw a few customers and a lanky guy standing behind the counter. He had spiked hair with green tips and lots of piercings.
Peering through the glass at him, Alex seemed to recognize him. "I've seen that guy at school."
"How could you miss him?" Vaughn said. He wasn't surprised any more. At this point, he pretty much expected Alex to know everybody.
Alex made a prediction. "I bet that's Zack's new buddy."
"Are you psychic all of a sudden?" Vaughn said while eyeing Alex instead of the guy behind the counter.
"No, but that's the kind of guy Zack would hit it off with."
Vaughn didn't buy it. "Since when? I don't know about the others, but Brad was a clean shaven, polo shirt and chinos guy."
"Boring and a cheater," Alex summed him up. "Zack's taste in boyfriends is really vanilla, but his taste in friends is more out there. And look at this guy. He's like a male version of Trudy," Alex said as he pushed open the door of 24/7.
"I've seen you around campus. Kyle?" Alex said to the guy behind the counter.
"Kevin," the guy said while looking from him to Vaughn.
"I'm Alex. This is Vaughn. Are you friends with Zack by any chance?"
"You know him?" Kevin said.
"Yes and we're worried about him," Vaughn said. "Do you happen to know where he is?"
"Kind of." Kevin looked worried too and that wasn't a good sign. "He seemed a little self-destructive and went to see this guy, one of his exes."
"Brad? But he's out of town, isn't he?" Vaughn asked.
Kevin shook his head. "Not that ex. It's an ex from before, some guest lecturer that Zack hooked up with when he was still a freshman. Zack got a funny look on his face when he told me about him. He said, 'I wish I never met him. Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I like to drop by his place just to remind myself what hell is really like.' The guy wrecked his heart."
"Fuck," Alex said in alarm.
Vaughn was skeptical. "Zack said that about him and you think he went to see him?" he asked Kevin.
"This is what I know," Kevin told them. "Zack said his heart wasn't all the way crushed after Brad. He wanted someone to finish him off and he knew just the man for the job. Then he asked to borrow my car and I didn't let him. No way. I told him to go to that party at his place or anywhere where he had friends, but he wouldn't listen. He said, 'I know where I need to be.' If I didn't let him borrow my car, he was just going to go by bus. So I caved and handed over my car keys." Kevin shrugged but he seemed to be having major second thoughts about enabling Zack's self-destructive quest.
"I don't suppose you have the most toxic ex's number?" Alex asked.
Kevin raised a pierced eyebrow at him. "Zack tells me how horrible this guy is and I'm supposed to ask for his number?"
"The way our luck is running, I guess it was too much to hope for," Vaughn said, feeling frustrated and worried about what Zack had gotten himself into.
"Damn. Whatever it takes, we have to chase him down," Alex said. "Did you at least get the address? I mean, Zack did take your car."
"All I know is that this guy has a house in Huntersville," Kevin said.
"And his name?" Vaughn asked.
Kevin shook his head.
"Wait. He has a house? How old is this guy?" Alex wondered. "Not our age obviously."
"Pushing thirty
or something," Kevin said.
"With no address or name, how are we supposed to find him?" Alex asked and turned to Vaughn for ideas.
"Huntersville isn't that big. We'll drive around and look for Kevin's car." He turned to Kevin. "Give me your license plate, make, model, and color of your car. And any other distinguishing characteristics."
"Could you sound more like a cop? And how are we driving around to look for his car?" Alex asked since neither of them owned a car.
"Carlos has a car, but I didn't see it in front of Paul's apartment building." Vaughn then texted with him while Alex updated Paul and also grabbed some drinks for the road.
Outside the 24/7, Alex was still on his phone but no one knew anything about Zack's ex who lived in Huntersville. Alex sighed in frustration as he read one more unhelpful text. The glow of his phone screen lit his face, and for a moment Vaughn was mesmerized. So what if his eyes were beautiful? That was no reason to stare at him so obsessively. Vaughn forced himself to look up. In the treetops above, a few dry, twisted leaves were still stubbornly clinging to the branches.
After Alex put away his phone, Vaughn noticed the troubled expression that lingered on his face. Vaughn was worried too. To make them both feel better, he took Alex in his arms. "Cheer up. We're looking for him. We'll find him. And if it turns out he's done something stupid, we'll kick his ass."
"Damn right we will," Alex agreed and surprised him with a kiss.
Chapter 11
Alex was apprehensive about Zack, but he felt better having Vaughn there to kiss and fondle. Carlos told them that his car was parked at his place. Going over there, they got the car keys from his roommates.
Not too long after that, they were on the road and Alex was getting handsy. Not that many other cars were on the road leading to the small suburb of Huntersville. Streetlights reflected off the hood of Carlos's Dodge, and Alex leaned in to invade the driver's side of the car.
While Vaughn stared straight ahead, Alex stared at his profile intently. Lights and shadows played over his face, and it made for a mesmerizing sight. Alex couldn't keep his hands off him. He started by sneaking a hand inside Vaughn's jacket and stroking his chest through his shirt. Alex felt him take in a deep breath then slowly let it out while trying to stay in control.