A few years down the road Meena is a young career woman still living at home with her mother. Facing increased pressure to accept an arranged marriage, she finally agrees to marry Sunny, a successful lawyer and the son of a prominent Indo-Canadian family. Neither Meena nor Sunny are truly happy, but both agree to the marriage in order to please their families. But when Liam reappears in Meena’s life she must confront her true feelings. She is faced with the difficult choice of leading a life that fulfills her family’s expectations or a life that fulfills her own.
Debut novelist Gurjinder Basran has created a world filled with fas-cinatingly complex characters in a powerful, uniquely Canadian story. Beautifully written and searingly honest, Everything Was Good-bye is a novel that explores the meaning of love, the pain of heartbreak, and the journey toward self-acceptance. ■
AN INTERVIEW WITH GURJINDER BASRAN
Q:
What inspired you to write Everything Was Good-bye? How much of the story is based on your personal experience?
The idea for Everything Was Good-bye grew out of some journaling and storytelling my sisters and I were doing around our own shared history. While writing vignettes about my childhood, I found myself fictionaliz-ing details and reordering events, and by doing so the stories seemed to get to a truth that the facts did not expose. This is, of course, the wonderful thing about fiction—you can abandon the facts in favour of the truth. Because Everything Was Good-bye was imagined and informed by portions of my own life, Meena and I share some history. I grew up in a similar environment and endured many of the same struggles with identity and cultural expectations. However, the more I wrote about Meena, the more she took on a life of her own, a life that ended up being quite different from my own. ■
Q:
The beginning of the book takes place in the early 1990s. There are a number of scenes in which Meena and her family are sub-jected to discrimination and racism. Do you feel that the situation in British Columbia has changed at all? Are people more accepting of different cultures now than they were back then?
From the early 1970s and onward, Meena’s family experiences racism in a variety of ways. They endure violence, vandalism of property, prejudicial attitudes, and racial taunts, but as times goes on the racism becomes less overt, partly because society has become more aware and partly because of the growing diversity in the Canadian population. I’ve come to believe that this is still the case. Racism is not as obvious as it was, but prejudicial attitudes are still prevalent and often displayed without malicious intentions. Even though we have a multicultural country, there is still little cultural understanding, and as such many people form generalizations which can be harmful and lead to the mar-ginalization of ethnic communities.■
Q:
The family bond is a major theme in this book. Do you think it’s possible to ever escape the pressures and expectations of this bond?
I don’t think you can escape the bond of family, nor do I think you should. Family can be your greatest source of strength and community, and even though there are expectations that come with those relationships, there are ways to navigate those expectations. A big part of that navigation comes with communication and a deep understanding of self. It is difficult to engage in meaningful and fulfilling relationships when no one is clear about their intentions or why they are behaving the way they are. This is the case with many families. They tend to take each other for granted and work in hierarchies that are unearned. ■
Q:
Which characters were you most drawn to? Was there a particular character whom you found challenging to write about?
When I started writing, Liam was one of the first characters to appear on the page. He was full of contradictions, and unlike the other characters in the book he was at ease with it in a way that suggested he was at peace with himself or had accepted his limitations. Meena on the other hand was difficult to write about. Since I was drawing on some of my own experiences to inform her life, I thought writing her would be easy, but it actually made it harder until I got to the place where I could dissociate myself and start thinking like her rather than thinking like me.■
Q:
Some may view Sunny as the most unlikeable character in the story. How do you feel about him?
Sunny is a product of his environment in much the same way Meena is. He was raised with certain norms and expectations that cause him to behave the way he does. His life sets him up with a false sense of entitlement and hers sets her up with an unfair sense of loss. I have a good deal of compassion for Sunny; he could have been a far better man than he actually was, and I believe that if he’d been willing, he and Meena could have built a life together—but both of them were so caught in their own pasts that they couldn’t move forward. In the end it’s only because Sunny was raised with entitlement that he feels the need to control Meena, or that he feels justified in his anger at her fleeting happiness.
Q:
You’ve tried to portray the Indo-Canadian community in a fair light, but some readers may see it differently. What has been the overall reaction of the community?
The general response has been positive. Most of the readers I’ve met felt connected to the narrative and said that the book validated many of their own experiences. Of course there are some who found the content shocking or too revealing but that doesn’t concern me, because I think the truth can be uncomfortable to read. I’ve always thought that a story should entertain, enlighten, and cause the reader to question his or her own beliefs. The fact that the novel has encouraged dialogue amongst readers has been one of the most rewarding aspects of the writing. ■
Q:
What kind of books do you like to read? Which books do you draw inspiration from?
Most people are surprised to learn that I was never a great reader. Books were not a part of my home life, and though I had a library card, I didn’t own a book until I was seventeen. Now, in an attempt to make up for lost time, I have a broad reading spectrum, but in general I tend to read literary fiction and am inspired by Rohinton Mistry, Jhumpa
Q:
The love between Meena and Liam seems to grow stronger as they grow older even though they’re apart for much of their lives. Do you consider them soul mates? Do you believe in the idea that we are meant to be with one person?
As adults Liam and Meena rely on the intensity of their early relationship to strengthen their adult relationship. Their love in many ways resembles faith and represents the unconditional love that they had sought when they were young. They have an understanding and an acceptance of each other that is rooted in their mutual desire to belong with someone, and the fact that they choose each other regardless of the circumstance or consequence certainly qualifies them as soul mates. I’ve never thought about soul mates in the traditional sense. I think you can have many soul mates and the definition needn’t be limited to the romantic. A soul mate can be anyone you have a connection to, anyone whose impact has changed you or created a perspective shift. In that way, I think Kal may even qualify as one of Meena’s soul mates. Lahiri, and Nicole Krauss. A Fine Balance and The History of Love are two books that I return to as examples of excellence. The writing is honest, beautiful, and humble. It doesn’t call unnecessary attention to itself. I admire those sensibilities in writing and in life. ■
Q:
Do you have any advice for people who are interested in writing their first novel?
If I’m restricted to giving one piece of advice it is that talent can only take your writing so far. Writing a novel takes fortitude, stamina, and a willingness to learn through revision. Sometimes tenacity is just as important as talent. There are many gifted writers who don’t write because they simply cannot find the motivation to move through the entire writing process. They imagine the process should be easier than it is or they are too attached to the outcome and rush the process. But writing is like most other vocations, and to do it well you must exercise your talent and be willing to practise and lear
n from others. ■
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. The death of Meena’s father left the family in a tough situation—a single mother struggling to raise six daughters in a new country. Discuss how her father’s death shaped Meena’s relationship with her mother.
2. Meena is the youngest of six daughters and in many ways has experienced more freedom than her other sisters. Do you think they feel any jealousy or resentment toward her?
3. Liam confides in Meena that he went to see his mother after she had abandoned the family. Do you think that was a mis-take on his part?
4. Meena’s sisters Serena and Harj both experience what could be seen as a betrayal of trust by their mother. Serena is sent home to her husband who assaulted her, and Harj’s insistence that she didn’t willingly get into a car full of men fell on deaf ears. How do you explain Serena’s and Harj’s different reactions to this betrayal?
5. Marriage plays a large role in the lives of many of the characters. What does the author reveal about each of the characters through these relationships?
6. Before they’re married, Sunny admits to Meena that he still cares for his ex-girlfriend, Jasmine, and that his parents wanted to keep him away from her. In what ways do you think his feelings for Jasmine affected his feelings for Meena? Do you think he would have ever loved Meena?
7. When Meena learns that she is carrying Liam’s child, she tries to hide the truth from Sunny. Could she have handled the situation better? What would you do in her position?
8. When Meena unexpectedly runs into Harj at the store, they agree to sit down for coffee. During this reunion, there are a number of awkward moments with many things left unsaid. Do you think Harj will ever reconcile with her mother? Is the bond between sisters unbreakable?
9. Do you believe that Meena will one day marry Kal? Discuss what reasons Meena might have to change her mind? What could be her reasons to continue their current relationship?
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