by Jamie Canosa
“Look, kid.” Mr. Goatee’s impressive muscles bunched as he folded his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry to have to call you out in the middle of the night. Yours is the number your mother gave me.”
“It’s okay.”
“I know this place don’t look like much, but it’s my business. You understand?”
“Dave?”
“That’s me.” A small grin tipped one side of his lips, making him look about a billion times less scary. “And I don’t mean to be an even bigger pain in your ass, but when she comes to,” he tipped his head toward the back window of the car, “you need to let her know she’s not welcome back here. Okay? I can’t be doing this every night.”
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
“Nothin’ for you to be apologizing about, kid. Good luck.” Dave headed back to his ‘dive’ as I slid behind the wheel.
Technically, I didn’t have a driver’s license. And I may not have actually driven a car before, but there weren’t a whole lot of other options available to me. Besides, I knew the basics and the roads were all but deserted at this hour. Key, brake, shift, drive. How hard could it be?
Pulling out of the lot, I found out exactly how hard, real fast. I don’t know if I turned too wide or not wide enough, but the back wheel caught on the curb and we bounced over, dragging the rear bumper of the car across the sidewalk and possible killing a bush or two in the process. Thank God there were no witnesses for that.
Drawing a deep breath, I evened out the car and took a quick peek in the rearview mirror to make sure mom was alright. There was no need to worry. It would have taken a nuclear explosion to rouse her.
“Okay. Here we go.” I was talking to no one, but the act of speaking was simple enough that it settled my nerves.
I pressed the gas and the car lurch forward before I eased off and found a good balance. We might have been moving at a snail’s pace, but there was no one to notice. Or care. I took it nice and slow the whole way back. It may have actually taken us longer to drive than it did for me to run, but we made it in one piece, minus the nice sized dent I was fervently praying mom would not notice in the rear bumper.
Dropping the car into park outside of our building, I’d never felt more relieved in my life. Of course, then I had a whole other problem to deal with.
“Mom?” I leaned over the center console to shake her. “We’re home. We need to get you upstairs. Mom?”
This was going well. Getting out of the car, I opened the back door and squatted to put us at eye level.
“Come on, mom. It’s cold, and it’s late, and I’m tired. Don’t you just want to go to bed? Please?”
Never. Going. To work. With an aggravated sigh, I sat my butt on the damp, hard ground and dropped my head back against the side of the car.
“Kill me now.” One more look at mom showed absolutely no change. “Dammit, dammit, dammit.”
I was going to regret this.
***
“Hey. Look who’s finally come calling.”
Why was I not surprised to find DJ still awake at that hour? I stood outside his door, already sorry I was there. “I need your help.”
“My help?” He leaned his shoulder up against the door frame, crossing his ankles and looking every bit as obnoxious as he sounded.
“Please? I need to get my mom upstairs and I can’t do it myself.”
“Trashed?”
“A little.” I hated to admit it out loud—though it was obviously common knowledge—and I really hated the stupid smirk on his face.
“And what do I get in return?”
I sighed, far too tired to do this with him. “I’ll owe you a favor.”
“A favor?” His grin turned slimy and I rethought my words.
“Not that kind of favor.”
His smile dropped to a frown and he reached for the door.
“No, wait. Please? I really need your help.”
The door stood partly closed between us while DJ examined me, thoughtfully. “You’ll owe me a favor? Like I call you, and you’ll do whatever I ask?”
Why did I suddenly feel like I was making a deal with the devil? “Within reason.”
The door started to close again and I blocked it with my foot in the jamb. “Wait!”
“A favor, yes or no, Jade?”
I was definitely going to regret this. “Yes.”
Six
Small tentative steps carried me over the threshold of the library, where it was not lost on me that I had absolutely no idea who it was that I was supposed to be meeting, or where exactly we were supposed to meet. I scanned faces, hoping whoever they were, they’d notice and give me some kind of hint.
Evidently, I had upset the universe, Father Time, Mother Nature, and possibly the time-space continuum, because there he sat, grinning up at me from one of the clustered study tables. Kiernan ‘fry-my-brain-cells’ Parks was supposed to tutor me? Sure, no problems there.
All hope that he was there for some other reason—any other reason—withered up and died a slow, painful death as he stood and waved me over. Good Lord, this could not be happening. I couldn’t stop myself from glancing around for hidden cameras, or some kind of audience. My senses were all on high alert and I felt a distinct Carrie moment coming on.
“You’re my tutor?”
“So it would seem.”
Don’t see anyone else signing up for the job, now do you?
He waited for me to dump my bag and plop down into the seat opposite him before reclaiming his own.
“It would also seem that we, once again, have chemistry.” He winked and I felt my cheeks ignite. He was teasing me, but my lips curved up of their own device without any input from my brain.
I pulled out my book, flipped through a few pages not really sure where we were going to begin, and surveyed the library again. Essentially, looking anywhere and everywhere but at him. Unfortunately, there weren’t too many people hanging around after school, so I ran out of distractions sooner than I would have liked—which would have been never—and forced my eyes to his face. Heaven help me, he was smiling. This was never going to work.
A tickle started up in the back of my throat. Not again. I’d been fighting off a case of whooping cough all day. I tried clearing my throat, but it didn’t really help. Before I could stop it a cough broke free, which opened the floodgates for the entire fit to follow. My chest ached and hellfire poured down my throat.
“You okay? It’s not the plague, is it?” Kiernan grinned at me across the table, but his eyes held genuine distress.
“I’m fine.” Reigning in my outburst with a few last putters, I rubbed absently at my blaringly sore throat. “Just a cold.”
“Here.” Kiernan rooted through his backpack and tossed me a cough drop. “I’ve got a few more if you need them.
“Thanks.” Too desperate for the relief to refuse, I ripped open the flimsy white wrapper and popped it in my mouth.
“Sure. You should take some of that nighttime medicine when you get home and get a good night’s sleep. Always helps me feel better.”
I smiled at his concern. It felt good to be worried about, even obscurely.
“I’ll do that.” As soon as we get actual medicine, which should be, oh, about . . . never.
“Soooo . . .” he hedged, tapping his pencil against his notebook and leaving behind scattered marks all over the page, “do you know the compound formula for sodium chloride?”
Seriously? What did Mr. Walkins tell him? That I was a complete moron? Okay, yes, my exam scores so far may support that particular assumption, but the compound formula for sodium chloride? It was an AP course, not a kindergarten classroom.
I sat there, fidgeting in my seat, struggling to decide if I should answer him and move on, or just call this whole thing off.
“You’re thinking really hard about that.” His fingers traveled upward to massage absently at his temples and I inwardly cringed. My advanced level of stupidity was causing him actual pain.
“Sorry.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Why are you apologizing?”
Well, I wasn’t going to spell it out for him. “Never mind.”
“You must have had a reason. What was it?” The grin he’d been sporting since I walked through the door slipped away as his brow creased.
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.” Planting his elbows on the table between us, he leaned toward me, carefully studying my face as though it may reveal some deep, dark secret.
Screw it. I huffed a breath and planted my elbows on the table in front of me. “You think . . .”
“What? Please, oh great and powerful mind-reader, tell me what I’m thinking.” Now he was making fun of me. God, why couldn’t I just keep my big mouth shut? Every time I opened it— “Wait. What are you thinking? From the look on your face, it can’t be anything good.”
“That I’m a complete moron.” With a complete lack of brain-to-mouth filter. “Which happens to be what you were thinking, too.”
Kiernan scanned my face a moment longer, trying to decide if I was serious before slumping back in his chair on a sigh. “Well, I hate to break it to ya, but your mind reading abilities are a bit off this afternoon because I wasn’t thinking that at all.”
Mmhmm. Because if he was he’d just up and admit it to my face. Kiernan wasn’t like my mother and Doug. He was too nice to be honest.
“But I’ll tell you what I was thinking. First, I was thinking we should start with the basics, so I can see how much you already know. Then, I got distracted and started thinking how much I like your smile. Then, I was thinking you’re funny.” He lifted his finger before I could misinterpret his words. “In a good way. You make me smile, too. Then, I sort of have a one-track mind, so I started thinking how much I’d like to see you smile again. So, I tried to make you laugh with the mind-reader remark, which obviously fell short.” He dropped his voice and leaned over the table again like he was about to make some big reveal. “Occasionally it happens where I’m not quite as funny as I think I am.”
I didn’t know if any of what he was saying was the truth or not—it seemed rather unlikely—but I decided, right then and there, that sometimes pretty lies are better than the truth. I couldn’t help it. I smiled.
“Ah, there it is. Beautiful. Now, if I can focus long enough, maybe we can get started.”
We plowed through the first two chapters and I surprised myself with how much I actually knew already. Maybe I wasn’t as far behind as I feared. Kiernan seemed impressed, as well, which allowed me to breathe a little easier. I’d managed to go a whole two hours without humiliating myself. It was like some kind of record for me.
“We’re only on chapter ten, so at this rate you’ll be all caught up by the end of the week.” It may have been my imagination, but he almost sounded disappointed.
Tucking his books away, Kiernan reclined in his chair as though he had no plans to actually leave it any time soon. Meanwhile, I perched on the edge of mine looking for the best way to make a graceful escape.
“So, what are you up to for the rest of the day?”
“Um . . .” I glanced at the clock, wincing at the late hour. “Doug wanted me to stop by his practice, but it looks like I missed it.”
Kiernan’s casual smile slipped into a frown at the mention of Doug’s name. “No offense, Jade, but your boyfriend’s a real piece of work.”
Like a masterpiece to your finger painting.
“Yeah. I . . . I don’t know why he puts up with me, sometimes.”
“Why he puts up with you? Are you kidding me? That guy’s a Grade-A jerkoff. What I want to know is why you put up with him.”
“Um . . .” What? “I . . . um . . .”
“Is it because he’s a football player?”
“No.” Football was one of the things I hated most about Doug.
“Then, why? Why do you let him treat you that way?”
“What way?” He tolerated me, allowed me to hang around when he had no good reason to, and continually forgave my stupidity.
“Like dirt, Jade. He treats you like dirt and you don’t even see it.”
Oh, I saw it. I wasn’t blind, I just couldn’t afford to be choosy. A problem Kiernan clearly never had to face. There really was no way to explain the complexities of mine and Doug’s relationship, so I shrugged it off.
Kiernan sighed and shook his head. “Never mind. How are you getting home?”
“Doug was supposed to . . .”
“Let me guess, he left?”
More than likely. “I’m sure he didn’t want to spend his afternoon sitting around waiting for me to smarten up.”
Kiernan’s jaw clenched on another head shake. “Come on. I’ll give you a ride.”
“You really don’t have to—”
“Would you stop saying that? I want to. Okay?”
I nodded slowly not knowing what else to do and followed him out to the senior lot where his bike was parked. If this kept up, I’d be an expert biker in no time. Already the machine was looking more beautiful and less terrifying each time I saw it.
I slipped the helmet on myself and climbed on before him. The helmet on his own head didn’t quite disguise the grin on his face as he slid up in front of me.
***
Fall had definitely arrived. A cold wind blew, ruffling the pages of the chemistry book sitting open on my lap. I pulled my sleeves down over my fingers to keep them warm and tried to tune out the ruckus of underclassmen gathered around me. A high school bus stop was more like a freaking zoo with enough hormones in the air to choke a buffalo.
Magnesium? I had another tutoring session with Kiernan that afternoon and the atomic weight of magnesium still had me stumped. We’d been at it for a few weeks now and, though I’d eased up on looking like a brainiac, I didn’t want to look like an imbecil, either. The sessions were really helping. And it didn’t hurt that they made an acceptable excuse for missing football practice twice a week. The routine rides home afterwards on the back of Kiernan’s bike had absolutely nothing to do with it. At all.
Sliding my finger down the page, I scanned the periodic table printed in my text. I was still hunting down the elusive element when a low rumbling caught my attention. The noise grew louder as he rounded the corner and pulled up right in front of me.
“What . . . What are you doing here?” Shaking off my shock, I snapped the book shut and climbed to my feet.
“I came to get you. Thought you could use a ride.”
“I have a ride.” It’s big, and yellow, and noisy. Where I get to listen to underclassmen badmouth each other in outrageous displays of testosterone and epic levels of bitchery. No self-respecting senior would be caught dead riding the bus. Fortunately, self-respect wasn’t an obstacle for me.
Kiernan grinned. “A better ride.”
I couldn’t argue with that. Neither could anyone else blatantly eavesdropping on our conversation. I was pretty certain just about every girl there was itching to claw their way over me and onto the back of that bike. An unfamiliar feeling crept over me, curving my lips into a genuine smile. This was what it felt like to be envied? I’d never been on this side of that particular emotion before. It kind of felt good.
“Get on.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. Removing the second helmet, Kiernan replaced it with my books, and helped me up. I’d barely gotten my arms around him when we tore away from the curb amongst a series of catcalls from some of the more lewd bystanders.
My head perked up from where I’d had it resting against his back when we sailed right past the school. Tapping his stomach, I wondered if he was distracted. Not the best thing to be while driving a motorcycle, or anything for that matter. When we turned a corner at the end of the block and continued on our merry way, I figured this wasn’t just a case of oops and tapped harder to get his attention. It didn’t work. He continued to drive, unperturbed by my incessant poking, until we pulled into a spot at the local di
ner and he cut the engine.
“What are we doing?”
“Getting breakfast. I felt your stomach rumbling.”
Holy hell, he felt that? How embarrassing.
“We can’t. We’ll be late.”
“For what?”
For what? “School!”
“We’re not going today.” He said as though it were as simple as that.
“What do you mean ‘we’re not going today’?”
“I mean we’re playing hooky.”
“Where are we going?”
“On an adventure.”
What the heck was he talking about? He wasn’t making any sense and the minutes to first period were quickly slipping away. Christ, Doug was probably waiting at my locker right that very minute. “I can’t go on an adventure, Kiernan. I have classes and a tutoring session today, in case you forgot.”
“I happen to know your tutoring session has been postponed until tomorrow.”
“Oh, has it? I hadn’t heard that.”
“Now you have.”
I sighed. He really was impossible. “Kiernan—”
“Jade. Everybody needs a break now and then. Will it really kill you to spend one day with me?”
Possibly. “I can’t—”
“Life doesn’t last forever, Jade. You can’t forget to live it.”
Something in the way he said it . . . He wasn’t just saying it. It wasn’t some line to get me to do what he wanted. He really, truly meant it. And it made me think. When was the last time I did something just for the hell of it? Ever?
I couldn’t think of a single instance. Not one time where I’d done something simply because I wanted to. Would it be so bad to experience that just once? Yeah, there would be fallout. An unexcused absence from school—not that mom would ever notice, or care—and Doug would be pissed, but he’d get over it. What if it was worth it, just this once, to take the risk and stop being so afraid all the time?
“Okay.”
“Really?” I couldn’t blame him for being surprised by my answer. It kinda surprised me, too.