“Maps?” Finn asked, his head cocked to one side.
It had just popped into my head when I tried to think of what I spent most of my time doing. Now, they were all staring at me again.
I squirmed in my chair, concentrating very hard on taking a bite of lobster. I knew basically nothing about boys, or human beings in general. Sometimes, I could forget that, but now was not one of those times.
Just then, a thump sounded in the front room and footsteps approached. Peyton. If Xander was the asshole, I knew the girl would be even worse. Cheerleaders were always bitches in the books I read, and I knew girls could devastate each other in ways guys couldn’t even comprehend.
“Something smells delish,” said a perky voice. A petite girl skipped into the room, her glossy, baby-pink high ponytail swinging. Well, she wasn’t blonde as I’d expected, but everything else fit my image of a cheerleader—the hairstyle, the pretty face, the tiny, perfectly proportioned body that probably didn’t have a single burn scar on it.
She was followed by a guy wearing athletic shorts and a T-shirt despite the wintery chill outside. He had a sports duffle over one muscular shoulder, so I assumed he must be her football player boyfriend. Cheerleaders always had those.
His Wellfleet Oysters T-shirt was molded to his sculpted body, which looked like it was made of pure muscle. His ripped shoulders and washboard abs strained against the fabric, as if they longed to be seen in all their glory, without the impediment of clothing. The thought made my face warm as my eyes traveled upwards. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of regret that he was already taken. With his chiseled jawline and blonde, military-cut hair, he looked like a movie star from a small-town football romance.
His eyes met mine, and that crazy sense of familiarity washed over me again, this time so strong I had to grasp the edge of the table. I felt myself sway as if I might topple over. Déjà vous swept through the room like a gust of wind. I’d been here before. I had met these people before. I didn’t remember, and yet, I knew in that strange way that I only knew a few things in life.
I may not know where I’d get my next meal, how we’d pay for gas, or when we’d pack up and take off again. I may not know a single real-life person besides my mother. But I knew that no matter where we went, the earth was below and the sky above, the sun rose in the east and set in the west, my mother loved me, and that whether a day was the best or worst one ever, it would end as time marched on. And I knew these people.
It was impossible, but somehow, I did.
“Oh my God, look at us. We could be real sisters,” Peyton said, drawing my gaze from her boyfriend as she skipped over to stand beside me so everyone could compare us.
Her hand landed on my shoulder as our eyes met, and something sizzled through the room. It wasn’t just inside me this time. I felt rather than heard a crack somewhere far below us, as if a fissure had broken in the earth’s crust. The house tremored. Little sparks fizzled across the tablecloth, the way sparks of static electricity hop along a sweater you peel off in the dark. Rosa jerked back, knocking over her glass of wine. Peyton grabbed onto my chair, her mouth frozen in a little O shape. Static shocks crackled along my legs.
And then it was over. My mother’s fork, which had been poised halfway to her mouth, sank back to her plate. Neil’s shoulders relaxed as he righted the glass and threw a napkin over the spilled wine. Rosa started putting lobster on the two empty plates.
“Um, hello, what just happened?” Peyton shrieked.
Well, at least I wasn’t crazy. The adults were acting so normal I’d almost thought I’d hallucinated the whole thing.
“The heater kicked on down in the basement, that’s all,” Neil said with a tight smile.
“Dude, did you see those sparks?” the football player asked. “That was wicked!”
“Maybe I should check the fuses,” Eliot said, pushing back from the table.
“It’s fine,” Neil said. “It’s happened before. It’s no big deal.”
No big deal? I felt like I’d been halfway electrocuted, and they were acting like nothing had happened.
But it had. I stared at Neil, who gave me a quick smile before pouring himself some wine. Eliot said he was going to check the breaker box, just in case, and loped out of the room. Peyton sat down, chattering on about how crazy that was, and then moving on to how sorry she was that she hadn’t been here when we arrived. Only Xander was openly glaring at me, muttering curses under his breath. I anchored my eyes to him, relieved that someone else was acknowledging what had happened, and it wasn’t so easily brushed off.
A spot of wine soaked up through the napkin Neil had thrown over it like blood leaking through a bandage. Physical proof. Did they really believe that was just the heater? What was wrong with these people?
Suddenly, I couldn’t take it anymore. All the changes and the weirdness overwhelmed me, and I thought I’d be sick. I jumped up from the table. My chair crashed to the floor behind me. Though I usually avoided drawing attention, I didn’t care right then. I had to get out of there.
This is how Mom must feel when she completely loses her shit.
“I—I’m going to go lie down,” I said, staggering backwards.
“But I just got here,” Peyton said, jumping up and grabbing both my hands in hers.
Dizziness washed over me, and I stumbled, my knees giving way. The football player rushed forward and caught me. “Whoa there,” he said in a deep, amused voice.
A bolt of electricity shot through me when he touched me, and I almost cried out. Was this how my mother felt all the time? Was I losing my mind like her? Is this how it happened, a psychic break with reality, everything distorted like a funhouse mirror so you couldn’t tell what was real and what was part of the crazy?
“I must be allergic to lobster,” I mumbled.
“But you haven’t even had dessert,” Xander said, laughter edging his voice. His taunting tone made my suspicions from the day before rise to the surface. Had they drugged me?
“I was going to show you the library,” Eliot added. I hadn’t even seen him return. Had I blacked out for a second?
I did really want to see the library, if that’s what it was. But for all I knew, that was code for “torture chamber.”
“Let her get some rest,” Mom said, holding up a hand to stop the protests. “This is a lot to take in.”
“She’s right,” Neil said. “We’ve all been a family for a long time. This is her first night here.”
I wondered distantly what that meant, but my brain was jumping all over the place and I couldn’t focus. I didn’t know about the fuses downstairs, but my brain was definitely shorting out.
As the football player scooped me up in a threshold carry, my head swam. What was happening? Had my mother betrayed me, sold me off to a bunch of psychos for the only thing they could offer that she’d want—secrecy?
“Mom?” I called, struggling to get free of the strong arm circling my waist.
“Go lay down,” Mom said. “It’s all right, Gwen. We’re safe here. Just get some sleep.”
Unlike Peyton’s two tall brothers, this guy was thickly muscled, his chest and shoulders hard as I pressed my palms against them, trying to push myself away.
“Chill, I’m just going to help you to your room,” he said. He smiled, his face a mix of boyish charm and Hollywood good looks. Momentarily dazed, I gave in as he strode out of the kitchen and up the stairs. There was no way I could fight my way out of his muscled embrace, anyway.
As he climbed the stairs, I let myself be Scarlet O’Hara for a minute, being whisked off by Rhett Butler. But my mind quickly raced ahead to the next scene in that book, and awkwardness replaced any romance in the moment.
“Sorry I wasn’t here earlier,” the guy said. “Me and Peyton almost always have practice at the same time, so we just ride together.”
“You live here, too?” I blurted out. “How many of you are there?”
He laughed and pushed open the b
edroom door where I’d slept earlier. “Just the four of us and Peyton,” he said, letting me down at last. “And she’s basically one of the guys. So five of us.”
I wiped my hands on my jeans, then let them hang limp, not sure what to do with them. Now that I was standing here with just him, I felt silly for making a fuss in the dining room. The dizziness had passed, leaving only a faint urgency buzzing in my blood, as if I had drunk a lot of coffee because I needed to be somewhere, but then I forgot where I was supposed to be.
“I’m Ezekiel,” he said. “But my friends all call me Zeke.” He thrust out a hand in an oddly formal gesture, considering we’d just had our bodies pressed together.
“Hi, Ezekiel,” I said, feeling shy as I placed my hand in his. A wave of vertigo rolled over me, but it quickly passed, thanks to his steadying grip on my hand.
The corner of his mouth quirked up, and he lifted his eyebrows. “Don’t you want to be friends?” His tone was teasing, but in a nice way, not like Xander’s.
I felt my face warm, and I pulled my hand from his. “Sure.”
“Sure…?” he asked, still raising his eyebrows expectantly.
“Sure, Zeke,” I said, testing it out like it was a word in a foreign language. I may not have had a single social skill, but I’d never thought I was particularly shy, either. But this was a whole new ballgame. I was standing in front of a guy who looked like he could be on a show on the CW, considering his height combined with the muscular build, blonde hair, and easy, infectious smile.
“Cool, Gwen,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up again. His blue eyes sparkled with humor as he said my name. And though I’d never thought much about my name one way or another, it sounded fun and carefree on his lips. When he said my name, I didn’t picture boring old me, reading paperbacks in the car while Mom did odd jobs in another nameless town. I pictured a girl with her blonde hair in the kind of ponytail Peyton wore, a girl who drove a red convertible with her name on the custom license plate, and deserved a guy like him.
“I guess I’ll let you get some rest,” Zeke said. “Unless you wanted me to stay? If you don’t feel good, I could just hang out for a minute, in case you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know what happened down there. Sorry.” My face warmed thinking of the spectacle I’d made. In Zeke’s presence, I’d forgotten the sparks and the mini-earthquake. Thinking about it now, it didn’t seem like a big deal. I knew it was weird, but my body was relaxed, like I had nothing to worry about.
Definitely drugged.
I couldn’t summon the anxiety that thought should have caused.
“Tell you what,” Zeke said. “I’m going to hit the shower since I probably stink. You can use the ensuite bathroom in here if you want to clean up.”
An inferno of shame washed over me, immobilizing my tongue in my mouth. I nodded mutely, staring at my shoes. I could feel the grime between my toes.
Zeke didn’t seem to notice my discomfort, or he was too polite to comment. He went on like everything was cool. “I’ll meet you on the deck in like thirty.” He smiled and held up both hands, palms out. “If you want. No pressure.”
Without waiting for an answer, he stepped out and closed my door. I fell back on the pillows, grabbing one and hugging it to my chest, biting back a smile.
Though all Neil’s kids were attractive, there was something about Zeke that made my heart melt. I was pretty sure I was having my first crush.
Chapter Six
Gwen
The door had barely closed behind Zeke when Mom stepped into the room. The high of being with Zeke began to fade as soon as she walked in dragging reality with her like a ball and chain. Before I could think, a flicker of resentment darted to life inside me. For once in my life, I wanted a moment to feel normal. A moment where I wasn’t the daughter of the crazy lady, where I was just a girl reveling in the rush of new feelings overtaking her.
Guilt quickly replaced my resentment, and I remembered everything that Zeke had made me forget for a moment. “Mom,” I said, sitting up and replacing the pillow I’d been holding. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” she said, sinking to the edge of the bed. “But I’m going to find out. We’re going to figure it out together, okay? Just like we always do.”
“We’re leaving?” I asked, a knot of conflicting feelings tangling inside me. An hour ago, I’d been waiting for this. Now I wasn’t sure. I wanted a few more minutes of normalcy before I went back on the road for another ten years. That glimpse was not enough.
“We don’t have to run,” Mom said. “Not now. Maybe not again for…forever.”
I blinked at her stupidly, trying to imagine what we’d do with ourselves if we stayed in one place. If we had a real home, a place to accumulate things, to get comfortable.
It was dangerous to think that way, though. We’d never stay. That was as delusional as thinking there were giants after us.
“I talked to Neil a little,” Mom said. “He says this kind of thing sometimes happens. Maybe not as…spectacular as what happened tonight. But odd things.”
“And that makes you feel safe?”
Mom shook her head. “I don’t know what to feel right now,” she said. “I’m being careful, though. And you should, too.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, my fingers worrying at a tear in my jeans.
“It means there are things besides giants that can hurt you,” she said, her voice low. “People can hurt you, too, Gwen.”
“I know,” I said, examining the thread I’d pulled loose.
“Good,” she said. “I didn’t realize…well. When Neil said he had kids, I guess I didn’t fully realize what that meant until I saw them. If anything happens that makes you uncomfortable, you can come to me. You know that, right?”
“Mom,” I said, my face warming. “I’m fine.”
“It’s just that you’ve never dealt with the problems most teenagers face. Peer pressure and hormones and…”
“God, Mom,” I said, standing and pacing the room. “This is so not necessary. I read a lot of romance novels. I know how things work.”
Now Mom looked uncomfortable. “I know you do,” she said. “I brought you into this house, though, so I want you to know that I’m on your side. These are teenage boys who have lived a different life than you. If one of them did anything…”
“Thanks,” I said. “I think I’m going to take a shower. Will you stay in here?”
She gave me a wary look, then nodded. “Of course.”
I grabbed a few clean clothes from my duffle, then stopped in the bathroom doorway, a new thought forming. “Are you going to sleep in Neil’s room?” I asked.
It was silly and immature to need her to sleep with me, but I’d never slept in a room without my mother. Not really. Sometimes I slept in the car, or a storage locker, or even a break room at whatever job she got. But that didn’t really count. She was working during those times. When she slept, I always slept next to her.
“I can sleep in here with you as long as you need me to,” she said with a reassuring smile. “I’m not going anywhere, Gwen. I told you that. I’ll be right here when you get out of the shower and right here all night.”
“Oh,” I said, glancing into the bathroom. “I might…well, I might go out and talk to the others for a while.
“I might stay up and talk to Neil a while, too,” she said. After a moment’s pause, she smiled. “It’s strange having other people to talk to besides you.”
“It is,” I agreed, a smile forming on my lips. “I think I like it.”
“Me, too.”
In the bathroom, I undressed on the plush carpet beside the tub. My grubby toes sank into the soft, thick threads. The room was big, with a full clawfoot tub surrounded by a circular rod. The curtain hanging around the tub was a dusty blue linen with tiny sailboats printed on it. Muted blue, green, grey, and tan tiles across the floor brought back the m
emory of the beach that afternoon. Not so much as a speck of dirt or a random hair was visible anywhere. It was so clean that I winced as I stepped onto the tiles and into the tub.
I quickly turned on the water, scrubbing away the dirt on my feet with almond-scented soap. Instead of using an entire mini bottle of hotel shampoo, I only had to use a little of theirs to get mounds of soft foam in my hair. Heavenly, scented steam filled the bathroom in clouds, and the hot water didn’t run out after five minutes like it did at the laundromats or rest areas where we usually paid to shower. I indulged my greed, washing my entire body with the fine soaps and even conditioning my impossibly long hair.
When at last I felt clean and fresh enough to step out of the tub, guilt replaced the greed. I’d used up tons of hot water, and taken advantage of their generosity. But then, I figured they could afford the soap, so I tried to quell the feeling of being an intruder. They had invited us. We hadn’t broken in.
I pulled up short when the full-length mirror reflected my image back to me, as if reminding me that I could never belong in this perfect house. With my clothes on, I could pass for normal until someone talked to me. Without them…
Drawing a slow breath, I ran my fingers over the mottled red scar tissue that covered my body from the bottom of my right breast to my left hipbone in a swath that barely missed my belly button. My skin was puckered and shiny, almost reptilian. Though I saw the scars every time I undressed, they were just a part of my body. Seeing them in a mirror was like seeing them from an outsider’s perspective. What would this beautiful family think if they saw how ugly I was under my clothes?
I barely remembered the fire that had taken Dad’s life and half of Mom’s sanity. The pain and trauma of my wounds had made the memories of that night and a few months after into vague and shadowy nightmares. But my body didn’t forget so easily. I’d been marked by that fire as surely as Mom had, just in different ways. Neither of us belonged in this house with its perfect people and fancy food.
Emerge: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance Page 4