I turned to the bed. Mom met my questioning look with a vacant smile. After a moment of indecision, I ducked into the bathroom to shower, vowing I’d stay if she was still talking nonsense when I came out. But when I emerged, the bedroom was empty. I dressed quickly, my heart pounding. I ran downstairs to the kitchen, where I found Mom eating an English muffin and drinking coffee with Rosa and Neil.
“Are you okay?” I asked, slipping in beside her.
“Of course,” she said, like nothing had happened. “You just eat and get to school.”
I should have been happy that she hadn’t gone into an all-out fit this time. Instead, I wanted to shake the hell out of her. For the first time in my life, I had a chance to do something normal, with other kids my age. I’d been waiting my whole life for this, and she’d almost ruined it for five minutes of reassurance. Now, for her to act like it was no big deal…I wanted to scream.
When Neil yelled up the stairs for Xander, I spun around to face him, forgetting about Mom’s questionable mental state.
“I can drive,” I said quickly. “I’ll just take Mom’s car.”
That way she couldn’t leave me stranded if she did go into a full-on freak out, and I wouldn’t have to ride with my evil stepbrother.
Neil shook his head. “You better wait until you have a license.”
“Yeah,” Xander said, gliding into the kitchen. “You wouldn’t want to do anything bad. One arrest in this shithole town and you’ll get lumped in with the likes of me.”
I swallowed the bite of English muffin I’d been chewing, which had suddenly turned to stone in my mouth.
“Make sure Gwen gets to school and finds the office,” Neil said to Xander. “They know she’s coming. Get her settled in and help her find her first class, and she’ll be fine from there.”
He smiled at me, seemingly oblivious to Xander’s scathing glare. “Don’t worry, Daddy-O, I won’t introduce her to my friends, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Xander said. “I’m sure she’ll get along better with the office staff, anyway.”
I shoved the last bite of the English muffin into my mouth and tried to chew.
“Just get her to school,” Neil said, staring down his son. “I don’t think she’ll have any trouble making friends.”
Xander snorted and gave me a once-over. “I’m sure,” he said with a sneer.
I tugged at the hem of my thermal shirt self-consciously. I didn’t want to ask Xander for fashion advice, but we were the only ones left. And he looked…well, he looked damn sexy. Maybe he wasn’t a fashionista like Peyton, but in his combat boots, fitted jeans, and black leather jacket, he definitely knew how to put himself together.
“What’s wrong with this?” I asked, gesturing to my jeans, tennis shoes, and shirt.
I instantly regretted my question. I’d given him the opening, the power, to cut me down. His eyes traveled over me more slowly this time, and my heart began to pound. I knew he was going to give me a scathing critique, tell me how my jeans weren’t the right wash and my shirt was stretched out and dingy, and my tennis shoes were obviously second-hand. I’d invited it.
A venomous smile twisted his full lips. “Nothing,” he said, his voice dripping with cruelty. “It’s perfect.”
“He’s right,” Mom said. “You look nice.”
Before I could answer, or run upstairs and change, Xander held out his hand, the keys in his fist.
“Don’t put yourself out for me,” I said, a bit of bitterness creeping into my words. If the others were my friends, he was the enemy. His words might have fooled our parents, but I knew they were anything but kind.
“Do you want a ride or not?” he asked, snatching my hand from where it hung at my side. He plunked the keys into my palm and closed my fingers around them, squeezing just hard enough that they bit into my palm. He shoved his backpack against my chest until my arms closed around it. “If you want a ride, go wait by my bike,” he said, enunciating each word as if talking to someone slow. “And don’t even think about touching it.”
“Don’t feel like you have to,” I said. “I’d hate to drag you away from your busy day of sulking and terrorizing the town.”
“I’m going that way anyway,” he said, throwing up his hands in disgust. He turned and stalked out of the kitchen before I could answer.
“Mom?” I turned to the table.
“Have a good day, Gwen,” Mom said with a dreamy smile. “It’s all coming together now. Don’t fight it. It’s destiny.”
“Go to school,” Neil said, turning me toward the door. “You’re the child here. Stop worrying and go be a kid.”
After a second’s hesitation—I wasn’t sure I wanted to go anywhere with Xander, even when Mom was at her best—I sighed and trudged out to the garage. I thought about wheeling the bike out the door just to spite Xander, but I was afraid it would squash me flat if I tried. Still, after I slipped his backpack on my back, I reached out and ran my fingers along the sleek side of it. I wiped my hands on my jeans and licked my lips, glancing nervously at the door as it opened.
Xander trotted down the steps and handed me a helmet. “Put it on.”
“Yes, sir,” I said in a slightly mocking tone.
He glowered as I secured the helmet and smiled at him. I wasn’t going to let him intimidate me—or at least I wasn’t going to let him know that he already had.
He stepped closer and hooked his finger into the strap under my chin, gently tugging my face up. My heart stammered in my chest when my gaze met his. His eyes were a clear, dark grey like the ocean under a stormy sky, fringed with long, thick, dark lashes that made me mad with envy. As his gaze lingered on my face, my breath stuck in my throat.
“That’ll do, pig,” he whispered. “Now get on.” He nodded at the bike while I tried to decide whether to hurl an insult back. Pig? What the hell.
“Don’t order me around,” I said instead. “I’m not your servant.”
“Too bad,” he said. “If you were, I could fire you.”
I climbed on the bike, shooting him a withering look. He ignored it, grabbed the backpack with one hand and flattened his hand on my belly with the other. Instinctively, I tensed as his hand pressed tightly against me, sliding me back on the seat. Heat surged through my body, and I was glad he swung his leg over the bike and climbed on in front of me before he could see the flush climbing my neck.
“Hold onto me,” he said. “I don’t want to have to scrape you up off the side of the road.”
“I’m good,” I said, clutching the seat on either side of my hips.
“Suit yourself,” he said. “But don’t expect me to stop for you when you fall into incoming traffic.”
With that he switched on the bike, twisted the throttle, and the bike roared to life. He gunned the engine a few times, then stopped to secure his own helmet before gassing it.
The bike leapt forward, and an involuntary yelp burst through my lips. I swayed dangerously, squeezing my knees tight around his hips and grabbing onto his jacket to keep from toppling off. But I would not give him the satisfaction of wrapping my arms around him.
We bounced along the sandy gravel drive to the bottom of the hill, where the driveway ended and the narrow, sandy road began. When we pulled out onto the flat stretch, I relaxed a little and resumed my original stance, with my hands on the seat beside my hips. I tried to get the hang of moving with the bike, which wasn’t hard since there were no turns or hills and we were barely going fast enough to stay upright.
The salty tang in the morning air kissed my cheeks as we puttered along the road to a slight incline. There, we rolled to a stop before Xander gunned the engine and swung us out onto a paved road. My arms automatically shot forward and clutched his shoulders. The bike tilted, and I had to lean into Xander’s back to stifle my shriek. I could feel him laughing, though the sound was drowned out in the wind and noise of the engine.
We crested a slight rise and then the road dipped, and my stomach dropped out. I
clenched my teeth, determined not to scream. After only a minute, we pulled up to another stop sign, this one at the bottom of an incline, and I let go of him and held onto the seat again. Above me, I saw a raven in the pines, but I ignored it. I wasn’t going to be as crazy as Mom. I was going to be normal now, go to school and make friends and not even notice ravens or boys who rode motorcycles.
Xander pulled the bike to a full stop at the stop sign. Setting his feet down, he twisted around, grabbed my hand, and pulled it forward, wrapping it around his body. He pressed my palm against his hard, flat stomach, then turned and did the same with my other hand.
“Jesus Christ, would you stop being an asshole and just hold on? I’m not going to be the one to tell my father I killed his new toy.”
He accelerated, turning right this time. When the bike tilted, I was already wrapped around Xander, so I leaned with him. This time, the bike didn’t wobble from my clumsy riding. I was one with the bike—and with Xander.
The thought was oddly satisfying, somehow right.
I pushed that unsettling feeling aside and comforted myself with the knowledge that this ride would end shortly. I didn’t have to like Xander just because I was riding his motorcycle. Just because I was holding onto him, that didn’t make us friends. I could go back to hating him the moment my feet were on solid ground.
It was unfortunate that the first person I’d ever embraced besides my mom was Xander. I’d rather it have been any of his brothers, or even Peyton. Definitely Peyton. If I was going to wrap my arms around a boy, press my cheek between his broad shoulders to block the wind, flatten my hands against his warm body so low I could feel his belt buckle under my fingers, well, I would have liked it to be a different guy. The problem was, I didn’t think I’d ever wanted to be this close to a guy. Not in any conscious way.
Even my strange compulsion to touch his brothers hadn’t extended this far, to having his body between my legs, my arms wrapped around him. Just the thought made me hot all over, despite the cold.
Whether I’d imagined it or not, it was happening, and it was agony. My body felt more alive than it had ever felt. The wind raced along my arms, raising chill bumps even as my hands were toasty warm under the edge of Xander’s jacket. My thighs were tight around his hips, and every movement he made on the bike made me keenly aware of the fact. The vibration and roar of the engine purred in my chest and in my veins. My heart pounded against his back, my arms clinging like he was an anchor to this world, and I would float off into one of Mom’s fantasies if I let go.
I never wanted to let go. I wanted to stay stuck to him like a vine growing up the side of a house. I wanted to get closer to him, to burrow inside him like roots, wrapping around his bones so he could never rip me out.
He nudged me with his elbow, and I lifted my head reluctantly. We’d crested a small swell, and the road dropped down from there. Xander gunned the engine, and with a burst of speed, we dropped down the hill. This time, I let myself scream out loud, laughing as my stomach bottomed out. I could feel Xander’s laughter vibrating through his whole body, this time laughing with me, not at me.
I whooped, urging him to go faster as we reached the bottom of the hill and the road flattened out. We sped through the tiny town, with most of the shops boarded up for winter, zipped around a corner, and skidded to a stop in a parking lot where a few dozen cars were parked.
Xander kicked down the kickstand, swung his leg over the bike, and hopped off. With a grin that made the corners of his mouth twist upwards and my pulse flutter, he unbuckled his helmet and pulled it off. Shaking his head, he let his thick hair fall in waves around his ears. He held out a hand and hauled me off the bike so fast I fell against him, still grinning like a loon, still buzzing with the thrill of the ride.
He quirked an eyebrow at me. “You like the feel of all that power between your legs, don’t you?”
The smile on my face answered for me. Riding the bike had been exhilarating, and even though we couldn’t talk over the noise, it had been unexpectedly intimate, too. Despite my promise to myself, I didn’t hate him the moment my feet were back on solid ground. And since he didn’t look like he hated me anymore, either, I wasn’t going to ruin our tentative connection by playing it cool. “Yeah,” I said through a wide grin.
Xander dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Get used to it,” he said. “You’re a woman. You always have all the power between your legs.”
I pulled back, my face blazing with heat. But when I looked behind him, I forgot his rude comments. My stomach dropped out for a whole new reason. A long, low building sat at the edge of the cracked asphalt lot, a depressing air hanging around its brick exterior. Students milled in and out, and even though there couldn’t have been more than a dozen hanging around front doors, butterflies exploded in my stomach.
School. I was finally going to set foot inside the legendary place I’d read about in hundreds of books. I couldn’t wait to get inside, to see where I fit, to be among my classmates, my peers. To be one of them.
If I could even hope for that. I’d spent so long not being normal, I wasn’t sure I could learn even with the Keens as my guides. “Walk me in?” I asked Xander, trying not to sound as nervous as I felt.
“Sorry, little girl, gotta run,” he said, pocketing his keys. His earlier laughter was gone, replaced by cool indifference.
“But—you said you’d make sure I got to my class.”
A group of rough-looking kids hanging around the back of a dented pickup truck eyed us openly. A girl with bleach-blonde hair, dark eyeliner, and ample cleavage on display despite the cold gave a lazy wave before taking a drag on her cigarette. Xander flipped the collar of his leather jacket and gave me an Elvis-worthy sneer. “It’s the smallest school on the planet. I don’t think you’ll get lost.”
“Aren’t you going in?”
“I learn more under the bleachers than in class,” he said. “Catch ya later, babe.”
With that, he turned and strolled over to join the smokers behind the truck. I stood there feeling like I’d woken up on a raft in the middle of the ocean without a paddle. I thought about strolling over to join Xander, but he’d made it clear he was ditching me. All my nice feelings about him vanished as I saw some of the guys punching his shoulders and slapping his back, laughing and shooting significant looks my way. Xander played along, laughing and slapping them low-fives.
I didn’t know exactly what those looks meant, but the tone was clear enough. They were laughing at me, and not in a fun way. I hadn’t even stepped through the doors, and I’d already messed up. The worst part was, I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. I hadn’t expected Xander to hold my hand and walk me through the whole day, but I’d thought he’d at least get me started and not turn on me at the first opportunity.
But he hadn’t. I was on my own.
Stupid raven. Maybe they really are bad luck.
Nothing to do now but pretend Xander didn’t exist, that he wasn’t standing there with his friends watching and waiting for me to fall apart. I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. Taking a deep breath, I channeled my inner Scarlet O’Hara and marched toward the ugly building with my nose in the air.
Chapter Eighteen
Xander
I knew I shouldn’t have left Gwen by herself, and not for some bullshit reason like I felt sorry for her, because I didn’t. The girl was way too sheltered, and I wouldn’t be doing her any favors by stepping in and doing the hard stuff for her. If I walked her into the office, they’d take one look at us and think she was already tainted by my evil ways. And so would everyone else.
The school was too small to risk making the wrong first impression. Besides, I didn’t like the way she was smiling at me. I’d seen that starry-eyed look on too many faces around here, and I’d learned the hard way what it meant. But I was a quick learner, and I hadn’t fallen into that trap yet, even though one ride on the crotch rocket had all the girls wanting to ride me next.
So I ditched the new girl after one ride, before she could start thinking she had feelings for me that went beyond lusting after my bike. That would be bad news and not just because her mother had married my father. There was something weird going on between us, not just the usual high of riding, and I needed to put a stop to it before it went any further.
To be honest, it scared the shit out of me. I read people like Eliot read computer code—not just for fun but because I could. I didn’t think Gwen was any different from any other chick. It wasn’t her, and it wasn’t me, but some freaky alien shit happened when we were together, like a chemical reaction.
Halfway to my friends, I started to regret ditching her. I wasn’t second-guessing my decision. No, I regretted it because my friends were looking way too interested.
“Damn, bro, you always find the hotties,” Doug said. “I need to get a bike, so I can pick up chicks like that.”
“Shut up,” I said.
“Did you already tap that ass, and now you’re leaving her high and dry?” Kent said, slapping my back. “Classic Keen.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Chelsea handed me a cigarette. “So what’s the scoop, then?” she asked, blowing smoke out the corner of her mouth. “Who is she? She looks lost.”
I shrugged and leaned on the tailgate of Kent’s truck. “She’s no one. Some new chick. I gave her a ride, that’s all.”
“A ride on your tip,” Doug said, cracking up.
“Shut up, asshole,” Chelsea said. We’d had a thing for like, two minutes, but she’d been with Doug so long she was like a sister to me now.
Gwen cut past a row of cars so she wouldn’t have to walk by us, which was smart of her. I figured the guys would rib me about her a couple more minutes and let it go, but instead, Doug whistled at her.
A vicious streak of anger flared up inside me, and I slugged his shoulder, my knuckles punishing his muscle. “Ow, dude,” he said, grabbing his shoulder. “That actually hurt, you asshole.”
Emerge: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance Page 12