“No one,” I said.
A malicious grin twisted his mouth. “Then it’s my turn.”
“No,” I said quickly. I wracked my brain, trying to think of a single person I knew at school besides my siblings. “Um…you?”
He snorted, but he didn’t move to touch me.
“It’s you,” I said quickly, relief rushing through me. Why hadn’t I said it earlier? If he was part of me, surely he wouldn’t kill me.
Joaquin snorted with laughter.
“You’re the only person at school who talks to me besides them,” I insisted. “And we did meet. Maybe. At the hospital, when we were born. Does that count?”
“It can’t be me,” he said, pacing the room again. “I’m supposed to kill you. Who else wants to get in Gwennie’s tight little pants?” He smacked the blade of his knife into his hand as he paced back and forth again. Outside, I heard a motor. Should I scream now? If it was a neighbor getting home, would they come to investigate?
“Your sister,” Joaquin yelled, rounding on me. “Your sister is a dyke.”
He slid onto my lap, his thighs straddling mine. “You sneaky little liar,” he said, drawing my chin up with the blade of his knife. “Now I get to pick your punishment. I like blood. All that red. It’s my favorite color. What’s your favorite color, Gwennie-Gwen?”
My heart slammed in my chest so hard I thought I might black out. “White,” I whispered.
“Oh, that’s good. The walls are already white. I think it’s time for a change, don’t you? Let’s paint the walls my favorite color.” The knife pierced through the skin under my chin.
I flinched, muffling a cry of pain in my throat.
“That makes me so hungry,” Joaquin said, making a slit in my skin.
Clenching my teeth, I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to scream. “It’s you,” I rambled, my voice shaking. “You’re part of us. Part of me. We need you.”
“A man’s got to eat before he goes to work,” Joaquin said, grabbing my hair again and yanking my head back. “I’ll eat now, paint later.”
His mouth descended on the cut he’d made, pulling at it until it felt like my skin was turning inside out. My mouth opened, a ragged sob of pain leaking out.
“Remember, if you scream, my knife won’t be the only thing inside you tonight.”
I clenched my teeth, choking back sobs as he slid his knife through my skin. “Don’t kill me,” I begged when the knife reached my jugular.
Joaquin licked the tip of the knife, splitting open the tip of his pointy tongue. “Sorry, baby, I can only handle so many at once. Your brothers will be here in thirty minutes, so that’s all the time we got. I can’t risk them all showing up at once. When you’re all together, you’re a freaking god. I can’t compete with that.”
“You don’t have to,” I whispered.
He shoved my chin up and started eating my blood.
I screamed. I screamed so loud that every car alarm in Wellfleet went off at once, along with a lonesome foghorn.
The lights overhead blinked out. Joaquin’s hand clamped over my mouth, and the door exploded inwards. My chair shot backwards, crashing to the floor. The knife skittered under the bed. Joaquin’s weight crushed down on me.
Zeke dragged Joaquin off my lap and threw him on the floor. Xander leapt onto him, pounding Joaquin in the face with his fists. Peyton ran to me, peeling off her hoodie and holding it against my bleeding throat. Finn stood frozen in the doorway, his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide with shock while Eliot tipped my chair upright.
Eliot yelled at Finn to help untie me, and they both knelt behind me.
As soon as I was free, I leapt onto Xander’s back. “Don’t kill him,” I said, wrestling with Xander’s arms. “He might be the missing piece of us.”
Xander stood up, stumbling backwards and ripping himself from my grasp. His eyes were glazed, like he was only halfway here.
“He’s being controlled by the fire giant,” I said. “It’s not really him.”
“Don’t tell me what he deserves,” Xander growled, flexing his fingers.
“We all deserve forgiveness,” I said. “No matter what we’ve done.”
“Not all of us,” he said, and he turned and walked out.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Gwen
Eliot called Neil from Joaquin’s place while Peyton and Zeke hovered, asking if I was sure I was okay. I didn’t want anyone to touch me, and I couldn’t stand another minute inside that death trap apartment, so I fled. Apparently, we’d caused a blackout through the whole town. I stood in the dark on the empty pavement outside the apartment, breathing in the fresh, cold air and relishing the sting of salt on the breeze.
Xander had gone, but Finn stepped out of the apartment after me and stood a few feet away, not speaking. We were still standing in silence when Neil’s Mercedes SUV pulled up. Before it even rolled to a full stop, Mom tumbled out the door, sprinting for me.
“Gwen,” she wailed, throwing her arms around me and keening like a wild animal. “The fire giant found you, I should have seen, I should have known…”
I stood there with my arms hanging at my sides.
“The giant, is he still here?” she asked. “Has he been driven from the host? Did you see a raven today, Gwen? Have you seen them on the Cape?”
“No, Mom,” I said, my voice robotic. “I didn’t see a raven today.”
For maybe the first time in my life, I wasn’t freaked out about her freaking out. I was too tired, too drained, to even feel anything about Joaquin and what had happened. I wanted to pass out, not deal with my shrieking mother. For once, I just wanted to get away from her. I didn’t want to be the strong one, to reassure her and talk her down.
“You kids should get home,” Neil said firmly. He’d climbed from the car, along with Rosa. “We’ve got a generator, so you’ll have power at the house. Gwen, do you need to go to the hospital?”
I touched my neck, but my fingers came away with only a smudge of blood. The wound itself had disappeared. Apparently there were a few perks to being a god. I shook my head, weariness settling into my bones like stone. “I’ll get Mom calmed down,” I said. “Once she wears herself out, she’ll zone out for a while.”
“Don’t worry about Olivia,” Neil said, resting a hand on my shoulder. His face was kind, and I was too tired to read anything into it. After the day I’d had, I should have been questioning my judgment of people and their motives, but I was tired of my own paranoia. And the truth was, it was a relief to let him take over.
She was still wailing, holding onto Neil, when Peyton touched my elbow. “Let’s go,” she said softly, sympathy replacing her usual exuberance.
Without another word, we piled into Zeke’s car and rolled through the silent, dark streets of Wellfleet and toward home. I turned my face to the window, watching the dark shapes of trees blur by. Xander was out there somewhere on his bike, alone and angry. I wished for once he’d stayed, that he would stop pushing us all away.
My thoughts looped back to Joaquin’s, where I’d left Mom with Neil. I’d abandoned her in the middle of a fit. No matter how angry I was, how frustrated, I’d never done that before. Though I thought Neil could handle it, guilt still gnawed at me. Guilt for tonight, but also for the last ten years. I should have been able to help her. She was my mother.
But I couldn’t deny the truth. The stark reality was, Neil was better with her than I was. Admitting that, even to myself, crushed me. I should have known what to say, what to do, to get her help sooner. I’d never even tried—not really. I’d been afraid to contradict her, afraid I’d make it worse. And to me, that was just who she was. I hadn’t spent much time trying to change her or even help her. I’d accepted her as she was and built my life around surviving her strange madness.
Now, suddenly, she had help, and she didn’t need me. There was a terrible loneliness in that, in knowing that it wasn’t the two of us against the world anymore. I’d lost my partne
r in crime. It was just me now, finding my way in this normal world that made less sense to me than my mother. And even though I was surrounded by my new family, even though we were literally pieces of the same whole, I still felt the emptiness of the space beside me where Mom had always been.
*
When we got home, Xander was sitting in the hot tub, his head laid back on the rim and his eyes closed.
“Let’s get in,” Zeke said. “Gwen, we need you to tell us exactly what happened before we got there.”
When we’d all changed and climbed into the hot tub, I filled them in on my evening with Joaquin.
“I knew something was wrong when you didn’t answer your phone,” Eliot said. “I should have listened to my anxiety.”
“You came when you could,” I said.
“When we heard you calling,” Eliot said quietly. “Not soon enough.”
“Do you think he’s one of the pieces of Heimdall?” I asked. “He was born at that hospital, and he told me he was a piece of something, too.”
“Or maybe he’s just a psycho,” Peyton said.
“You’re his friend,” Eliot said, turning to Finn. “What do you think?”
“So I should have seen this coming?” Finn asked, sounding less than chill for the first time since I’d met him. “I didn’t know he was possessed by a demon.”
“No one said that,” Zeke said. “It’s cool, bro. Nobody blames you for what happened to Gwen.”
When we’d climbed in the hot tub, Zeke had put his arm around me, and I finally let myself relax. I felt safe next to him, like nothing could hurt me again.
“What I was going to say,” Eliot said slowly, watching his brother with a frown. “Is that maybe you were drawn to him because he is a piece of us. And I was going to ask if you thought that. Not tell you this is your fault.”
“You think I didn’t want to help Gwen,” Finn said quietly.
“Bro,” Zeke said. “No one thinks that.”
“Because I was just standing there,” Finn said, ignoring Zeke and staring at Eliot. “That’s why you yelled at me to help.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said, slipping away from Zeke and sliding over next to Finn. I took his hand under the water and laced my fingers through his. “Sometimes, you just freeze up when you’re surprised,” I said. “I know you’d do anything for me.”
“I would,” he said softly, his eyes grateful. He stroked my hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering for a second too long as sparkles raced through the water around us. Slowly, he leaned in, his eyes on mine. No one breathed as he drew even closer, then turned slightly, letting his lips brush across my cheekbone.
My whole body seemed to melt, and blue sparks raced like bubbles around our bodies, illuminating them under the water.
“Thank you,” he whispered against my ear.
My attention was pulled away by the water pouring off Xander, who had stood. He stepped out of the tub and abruptly left the deck. He hadn’t said a word the whole time I spoke, hadn’t asked questions or even insulted me.
I sighed. “Should I go talk to him?”
“Let him be,” Zeke said quietly.
“It’s not you,” Peyton said, giving me a sympathetic smile. “He’s got issues.”
Just then, lights illuminated the driveway out front. “Speaking of,” I said. “I should probably go make sure Mom’s okay.”
“You don’t have to take care of her anymore,” Eliot said. “That’s Dad’s job now.”
I shrugged, not wanting them to think I was immature for needing to be near my mother so much. “It’s always my job.”
I grabbed a robe and headed in. Mom was sitting on the couch, as glassy-eyed as Xander had been when I’d pulled him off Joaquin.
“She doesn’t seem to want to talk,” Neil said from the across the huge room. For the first time since I’d met him, he looked uncertain, with worry lines creasing his brow. He might be good with her, but I’d known her longer. I knew that blank stare.
“She’ll be okay,” I said, crossing the living room and curling my body against hers, pulling her arm over me. “She’s always like this after an episode.”
At last, I felt like I was on the same team as Neil, not like he was trying to get between me and my mom, or take her away from me. I cuddled against her familiar body as I had so many times before. Until I’d come here, these moments were my only physical contact with another human being. No wonder I was starved to touch all my stepsiblings. It wasn’t just that our pieces felt better together. I needed to make up for lost time.
Slowly, Neil approached and sat on the edge of the loveseat. “Is she having one of her visions?”
“No,” I said. “Probably not. Those are loud with lots of ranting.”
Neil nodded thoughtfully. “Back at Joaquin’s, then.”
“Or on the way there.”
“I wish she hadn’t been quite so good at hiding,” he said. “I’m afraid what she’s seen and experienced has taken a toll on her ability to differentiate between what’s real and what’s part of the visions.”
“I always knew she was mentally ill. I can deal. At least now I know why. I know that there’s truth to it, even if it’s made her like this.”
Neil nodded. “You’re right.”
“What about Joaquin?” I asked. “Is he going to be okay?”
“I can’t answer that,” Neil said. “Rosa is keeping watch on him now. She’s casting a rune-spell to keep him subdued for now.”
“A what?” I asked. After seeing Heimdall, I didn’t think anything could really surprise me, though.
“There are other entrances into the nine worlds,” Neil said. “Rosa came through one of them.”
“Wait, so she’s hosting a god, too?”
“Not quite,” Neil said. “She came through whole, as she is. Rosa’s a dwarf. She casts spells with runestones.”
“Of course she does,” I said. “You couldn’t have anyone normal living here.”
“Just me,” he said with a rueful smile.
“So you collect creatures from other worlds,” I said. “That must be what Xander meant when he called me your new toy.”
Neil grimaced. “I’m sorry about that. I wish I could say he doesn’t mean anything by it, but I’m afraid he doesn’t think very highly of me.”
“Yeah, what’s that about?” I asked.
“I think you should let Xander tell you that.”
“Like he’d tell me anything,” I muttered.
Neil sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking tired and haggard. “I hope you’ll learn to get along,” he said. “He could use a friend like you.”
“What, an easy target?”
“One who’s not going to get him into any more trouble.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. If Xander got in trouble, it was probably his own doing. But maybe parents were oblivious to that kind of thing. I looked at my mother’s blank face. I was used to watching her and worrying, waiting. I was used to taking care of her, not running off with my new friends. Tonight, I’d chosen them over her. I still wasn’t sure if that felt good or horrible.
The concern in all their eyes when I’d told them about Joaquin had scared me a little. To be fair, Mom had always worried about me, too. But suddenly, five other people were worried for my safety. I wasn’t in this alone anymore. Along with the relief, though, came a terrifying amount of responsibility. Five other people were counting on me to be okay. For the first time in my life, I was part of something that didn’t involve my mother. I wasn’t sure I knew who I was without her as my other half. But I was willing to find out.
“I’m going upstairs,” I said, lifting Mom’s arm and sitting up. “Call me if she needs anything.”
“I’ll take care of her.”
I pulled the damp robe around me and headed for the stairs. I paused at the foot of the winding staircase and turned back, though. “Does that mean we’re out of danger?” I asked. “Since we’
ve got Joaquin?”
“For now, we’re all safe,” Mom said dreamily.
“Do you think he’s a part of what we are?” I asked.
“That, I don’t know,” Neil said. “You can probably answer that question better than I can.”
As I climbed the stairs, I wondered how we could find out. Maybe summoning Heimdall again would give us the answer. For tonight, I needed to sleep and forget about the psycho with a knife and the fact that our powers seemed to be getting stronger. We’d knocked out the electricity of a whole town. So far, no one had been seriously injured by our power surges, but I worried what would happen if they continued.
On the third floor, I headed for my room. When I got to the door, I hesitated. Music reverberated through the upstairs, the vibration enough to tremble my blood. That couldn’t be healthy.
Against my better judgement, I found myself standing outside Xander’s door. I tapped three times and waited, but of course he couldn’t hear me. He probably didn’t even have eardrums left. Twisting the knob, I eased the door open and peered into Xander’s room.
Or music studio. He had enough equipment to produce records in there, along with mixing them, and playing a one-man band. Twisting around, he caught sight of me and slammed his hand down on the strings of the electric guitar he had looped over his shoulder. Ignoring the feedback whine from his amp, he tore his headphones off and glared at me.
“What do you want?”
“I didn’t know you played music.”
“Because it’s none of your damn business.”
“You kind of make it everyone’s business when you play so loud the house shakes.”
He pulled the headphones from around his neck and dropped them on a desk with a thousand buttons and lights all over it. “Fine. I’ll stop playing. Happy now?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He sighed and shut off the amp. “So fill me in. What do you want? You must have come up here for something. Otherwise, you’d still be getting cozy in the hot tub with people you actually like.”
Emerge: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance Page 24